These doubts fretted and harassed him, growing weaker or stronger from time to time, but never leaving him. —
这些疑虑不断折磨着他，时强时弱，但从未离开过他。 —

He read and thought, and the more he read and the more he thought, the further he felt from the aim he was pursuing.
他阅读和思考，越是阅读和思考，就离他所追求的目标越远。

Of late in Moscow and in the country, since he had become convinced that he would find no solution in the materialists, he had read and reread thoroughly Plato, Spinoza, Kant, Schelling, Hegel, and Schopenhauer, the philosophers who gave a non-materialistic explanation of life.
最近在莫斯科和乡村，他已经确信在唯物主义者那里找不到解决方法后，他一再地阅读了柏拉图、斯宾诺莎、康德、舍林、黑格尔和叔本华等哲学家们的著作，他们给出了一个非唯物主义的生命解释。

Their ideas seemed to him fruitful when he was reading or was himself seeking arguments to refute other theories, especially those of the materialists; —
当他阅读或寻求证伪其他理论的论据时，他们的思想似乎对他很有成果。 —

but as soon as he began to read or sought fat himself a solution of problems, the same thing always happened. —
但只要他开始阅读或寻求自己的问题解决方法，总是发生同样的事情。 —

As long as he followed the fixed definition of obscure words such as SPIRIT, WILL, FREEDOM, ESSENCE, purposely letting himself go into the snare of words the philosophers set for him, he seemed to comprehend something. —
只要他遵循了哲学家们为他设下的陷阱，刻意让自己掉入“灵魂”、“意志”、“自由”、“本质”等模糊词汇的定义中，他似乎理解了一些东西。 —

But he had only to forget the artificial train of reasoning, and to turn from life itself to what had satisfied him while thinking in accordance with the fixed definitions, and all this artificial edifice fell to pieces at once like a house of cards, and it became clear that the edifice had been built up out of those transposed words, apart from anything in life more important than reason.
但是他只需要忘记那些人为的推理过程，转向生活本身以及在按照固定定义思考时满足他的事物，这个人工构建的建筑立刻像一座纸牌屋一样倒塌了，变得清晰起来，这个建筑是由那些被颠倒的词组构建而成的，和生活中比理性更重要的任何东西毫无关联。

At one time, reading Schopenhauer, he put in place of his will the word love, and for a couple of days this new philosophy charmed him, till he removed a little away from it. —
有一段时间，他在读舒韦策尔时，将他的意志换成了爱这个词，这个新的哲学思想令他着迷了几天，直到他稍微离它远了些。 —

But then, when he turned from life itself to glance at it again, it fell away too, and proved to be the same muslin garment with no warmth in it.
但是，当他再次转向生活本身去看它时，它也消失了，证明它只是一件没有温暖的薄纱衣物。

His brother Sergey Ivanovitch advised him to read the theological works of Homiakov. —
他的哥哥谢尔盖·伊凡诺维奇建议他读读霍米亚科夫的神学著作。 —

Levin read the second volume of Homiakov’s works, and in spite of the elegant, epigrammatic, argumentative style which at first repelled him, he was impressed by the doctrine of the church he found in them. —
列文读了霍米亚科夫的作品的第二卷，尽管起初被其中的优雅、警句、论证风格所排斥，但他被其中的教会教义所震撼。 —

He was struck at first by the idea that the apprehension of divine truths had not been vouchsafed to man, but to a corporation of men bound together by love–to the church. —
起初，他被一个观点所打动：神的真理不是赏给个人的，而是赏给一个由爱所联结的团体–教会。 —

What delighted him was the thought how much easier it was to believe in a still existing living church, embracing all the beliefs of men, and having God at its head, and therefore holy and infallible, and from it to accept the faith in God, in the creation, the fall, the redemption, than to begin with God, a mysterious, far-away God, the creation, etc. —
令他高兴的是这个想法：相对于从神开始，一个神秘而遥远的神，创造等等，相信依然存在着一个包容了人类所有信仰、以神为首、因此圣洁且无误的教会，然后接受对于神、创世、堕落和救赎的信仰，要容易得多。 —

But afterwards, on reading a Catholic writer’s history of the church, and then a Greek orthodox writer’s history of the church, and seeing that the two churches, in their very conception infallible, each deny the authority of the other, Homiakov’s doctrine of the church lost all its charm for him, and this edifice crumbled into dust like the philosophers’ edifices.
但是在阅读了一位天主教作家关于教会历史的著作之后，再读一位希腊东正教作家关于教会历史的著作，而且看到这两个教会，从其起初就具有不可错的特性，却互相否认对方的权威，霍米亚科夫对于教会的教义失去了所有的魅力，这个结构就像哲学家们的结构一样化为了尘土。

All that spring he was not himself, and went through fearful moments of horror.
整个春季，他都不像自己，度过了可怕的恐怖时刻。

“Without knowing what I am and why I am here, life’s impossible; —
“不知道我是谁，为什么我在这里，生活就是不可能的； —

and that I can’t know, and so I can’t live,” Levin said to himself.
而我不可能知道，所以我不能活下去，”列文对自己说。

“In infinite time, in infinite matter, in infinite space, is formed a bubble-organism, and that bubble lasts a while and bursts, and that bubble is Me.”
“在无限的时间、无限的物质、无限的空间中，形成了一个泡泡形的有机体，那个泡泡持续一段时间然后爆破，那个泡泡就是我。”

It was an agonizing error, but it was the sole logical result of ages of human thought in that direction.
这是一个痛苦的错误，但它是对人类思考方向上多年来的唯一逻辑结果。

This was the ultimate belief on which all the systems elaborated by human thought in almost all their ramifications rested. —
这是几乎所有系统的最终信仰，所有这些系统在它们几乎所有的分支中都是通过人类思维发展出来的。 —

It was the prevalent conviction, and of all other explanations Levin had unconsciously, not knowing when or how, chosen it, as anyway the clearest, and made it his own.
这是一种普遍信念，而且在莱文无意识地选择了它，作为最清晰的解释，并将其视为自己的观点。

But it was not merely a falsehood, it was the cruel jeer of some wicked power, some evil, hateful power, to whom one could not submit.
但这不仅仅是一种虚假，它是某种邪恶的力量，对那些无法屈从的人进行残忍的嘲笑。

He must escape from this power. And the means of escape every man had in his own hands. —
他必须逃离这种力量。而每个人都可以通过自己的方式来实现逃脱。 —

He had but to cut short this dependence on evil. —
他只需要打破对邪恶的依赖。 —

And there was one means–death.
而其中一种途径就是死亡。

And Levin, a happy father and husband, in perfect health, was several times so near suicide that he hid the cord that he might not be tempted to hang himself, and was afraid to go out with his gun for fear of shooting himself.
莱文，一个幸福的父亲和丈夫，身体健康，曾数次靠近自杀边缘，他藏起了绳子，以免受到自杀的诱惑，他甚至害怕带着枪出门，以免误伤自己。

But Levin did not shoot himself, and did not hang himself; he went on living.
但莱文没有开枪自杀，也没有上吊，他继续活着。