Pity the laden one; this wandering woe May visit you and me.
可怜这个负担沉重的人；这漂泊的悲哀可能也会降临在你我身上。

When Lydgate had allayed Mrs. Bulstrode’s anxiety by telling her that her husband had been seized with faintness at the meeting, but that he trusted soon to see him better and would call again the next day, unless she-sent for him earlier, he went directly home, got on his horse, and rode three miles out of the town for the sake of being out of reach.
当利德盖特告诉布尔斯特罗德夫人表示，她的丈夫在会议上晕倒时，但他相信他很快会好转，并告诉她明天会再来，除非她提前叫他，然后他直接回家，骑马三英里离开了城镇，为了避开纷扰。

He felt himself becoming violent and unreasonable as if raging under the pain of stings: —
他感到自己变得暴躁和不理智，仿佛在剧痛中愤怒： —

he was ready to curse the day on which he had come to Middlemarch. —
他准备诅咒他来米德尔马奇的那一天。 —

Everything that bad happened to him there seemed a mere preparation for this hateful fatality, which had come as a blight on his honorable ambition, and must make even people who had only vulgar standards regard his reputation as irrevocably damaged. —
对他来说，发生在那里的一切似乎只是对这种可恶的厄运的铺垫，这种厄运成为他光荣抱负的毁灭，并使即使只有俗人标准的人也会认为他的名誉已经被彻底破坏。 —

In such moments a man can hardly escape being unloving. —
在这样的时刻，一个人几乎无法摆脱不友爱的状态。 —

Lydgate thought of himself as the sufferer, and of others as the agents who had injured his lot. —
利德盖特把自己看作受害者，把别人看作损害他命运的代理人。 —

He had meant everything to turn out differently; —
他原本希望一切都会不同。 —

and others had thrust themselves into his life and thwarted his purposes. —
而其他人却插手他的生活并阻挠了他的目的。 —

His marriage seemed an unmitigated calamity; —
他的婚姻似乎是一个不可调和的灾难。 —

and he was afraid of going to Rosamond before he had vented himself in this solitary rage, lest the mere sight of her should exasperate him and make him behave unwarrantably. —
他害怕在发泄了这种孤独的愤怒之前就去找罗莎蒙德，以免看到她就变得激动并做出不应有的举动。 —

There are episodes in most men’s lives in which their highest qualities can only cast a deterring shadow over the objects that fill their inward vision: —
在大多数人生中都会有一些插曲，其中他们最高尚的品质只会投下一个阻碍的阴影在填满他们内心视野的目标上。 —

Lydgate’s tenderheartedness was present just then only as a dread lest he should offend against it, not as an emotion that swayed him to tenderness. —
对于利德盖特来说，他那种柔情只是作为对违背它的恐惧存在，而非激发他去温柔的情感。 —

For he was very miserable. Only those who know the supremacy of the intellectual life– the life which has a seed of ennobling thought and purpose within it– can understand the grief of one who falls from that serene activity into the absorbing soul-wasting struggle with worldly annoyances.
因为他非常痛苦。只有了解知识生活——内心种植着高贵思想和目标的生活——的至高性质的人才能理解一个人从那种宁静的活动中跌入对世俗烦恼的吞噬性痛苦。

How was he to live on without vindicating himself among people who suspected him of baseness? —
他要如何在这些怀疑他龌龊的人中生存下去？ —

How could he go silently away from Middlemarch as if he were retreating before a just condemnation? —
他怎么能够悄无声息地离开米德尔马克，好像他在正义的谴责面前在退缩？ —

And yet how was he to set about vindicating himself?
然而他该如何开始为自己辩护呢？

For that scene at the meeting, which he had just witnessed, although it had told him no particulars, had been enough to make his own situation thoroughly clear to him. —
因为他刚刚目睹的那个会议场面，虽然没有透露任何细节，却已足以让他对自己的处境有了清楚的认识。 —

Bulstrode had been in dread of scandalous disclosures on the part of Raffles. —
布尔斯特罗德一直担心拉弗尔斯会爆出丑闻。 —

Lydgate could now construct all the probabilities of the case. —
李德格特现在可以推断出这个案件的所有可能性。 —

“He was afraid of some betrayal in my hearing: —
“他害怕我听到某些背叛的情况： —

all he wanted was to bind me to him by a strong obligation: —
他想要通过强烈的义务来约束我： —

that was why he passed on a sudden from hardness to liberality. —
这就是为什么他突然从刻薄转向慷慨。 —

And he may have tampered with the patient–he may have disobeyed my orders. I fear he did. —
他可能曾经对这位病人进行干预–他可能违抗了我的指示。我担心他确实这样做了。 —

But whether he did or not, the world believes that he somehow or other poisoned the man and that I winked at the crime, if I didn’t help in it. —
但无论他是否这样做，世人都相信他以某种方式毒死了那个人，而我视而不见，甚至协助了这种罪行。 —

And yet–and yet he may not be guilty of the last offence; —
然而–他可能并未对最后一项罪行负责； —

and it is just possible that the change towards me may have been a genuine relenting–the effect of second thoughts such as he alleged. —
并且有可能他对我的态度转变是真诚的后悔–正如他所声称的那样的转变。 —

What we call the `just possible’ is sometimes true and the thing we find it easier to believe is grossly false. —
我们所称的“可能性”有时是真实的，而我们更容易相信的事情却是彻头彻尾的谬误。 —

In his last dealings with this man Bulstrode may have kept his hands pure, in spite of my suspicion to the contrary.”
在他的最后一次与这个人的交往中，布尔斯特罗德可能保持着双手清白，尽管我怀疑相反。

There was a benumbing cruelty in his position. —
他的处境令人心寒残酷。 —

Even if he renounced every other consideration than that of justifying himself– if he met shrugs, cold glances, and avoidance as an accusation, and made a public statement of all the facts as he knew them, who would be convinced? —
即使他放弃了除证明自己无辜以外的一切考虑—如果他的遇到的只是不屑一顾的耸肩、冷淡的目光和回避，与指责一样，而他公开陈述了他所知道的一切事实，谁会相信他呢？ —

It would be playing the part of a fool to offer his own testimony on behalf of himself, and say, “I did not take the money as a bribe.” —
把自己的证词拿出来为自己辩护，说，“我拿的不是贿赂。” —

The circumstances would always be stronger than his assertion. —
情况始终比他的声明更有说服力。 —

And besides, to come forward and tell everything about himself must include declarations about Bulstrode which would darken the suspicions of others against him. —
而且，站出来说关于自己的一切必须涉及有关布尔斯特罗德的声明，这会使别人对他的怀疑加深。 —

He must tell that he had not known of Raffles’s existence when he first mentioned his pressing need of money to Bulstrode, and that he took the money innocently as a result of that communication, not knowing that a new motive for the loan might have arisen on his being called in to this man. —
他必须说明在他最初向布尔斯特罗德提到急需钱时，他并不知道拉菲尔斯的存在，并且他接受那笔钱只是由于这次通信的结果，而不知道在被请进这个人之后可能出现了新的借款动机。 —

And after all, the suspicion of Bulstrode’s motives might be unjust.
而且，对布尔斯特罗德动机的怀疑可能是不公正的。

But then came the question whether he should have acted in precisely the same way if he had not taken the money? —
但随之而来的问题是，如果他没有拿那笔钱，他是否会以完全相同的方式行动？ —

Certainly, if Raffles had continued alive and susceptible of further treatment when he arrived, and he had then imagined any disobedience to his orders on the part of Bulstrode, he would have made a strict inquiry, and if his conjecture had been verified he would have thrown up the case, in spite of his recent heavy obligation. —
当他到达时，如果拉菲尔斯还活着并能接受进一步治疗，如果他随后想象到布尔斯特罗德违背他的命令，他会进行严格的调查，如果他的猜测得到证实，他会放弃这个案子，尽管他最近受到了重大的恩惠。 —

But if he had not received any money– if Bulstrode had never revoked his cold recommendation of bankruptcy– would he, Lydgate, have abstained from all inquiry even on finding the man dead? —
但如果他没有接受过任何钱—如果布尔斯特罗德从未撤销对破产冷淡的推荐—那么他，莱德盖特，发现这个人死了后是否会放弃所有调查？ —

–would the shrinking from an insult to Bulstrode– would the dubiousness of all medical treatment and the argument that his own treatment would pass for the wrong with most members of his profession–have had just the same force or significance with him?
- 逃避对布尔斯特罗德的侮辱会对他有同样的力量或重要性吗？

That was the uneasy corner of Lydgate’s consciousness while he was reviewing the facts and resisting all reproach. —
这是莱德盖特在回顾事实和抵制所有指责时内心的不安之处。 —

If he had been independent, this matter of a patient’s treatment and the distinct rule that he must do or see done that which he believed best for the life committed to him, would have been the point on which he would have been the sturdiest. —
如果他是独立的，病人的治疗问题和他必须执行或确保执行他认为对托付给他的生命最好的事情的明确规则，会是他最坚定的立场。 —

As it was, he had rested in the consideration that disobedience to his orders, however it might have arisen, could not be considered a crime, that in the dominant opinion obedience to his orders was just as likely to be fatal, and that the affair was simply one of etiquette. —
但事实是，他因为考虑到违背他的命令，无论出于何种原因，都不能被视为一种罪行，统治性的观点认为服从他的命令同样可能是致命的，这件事简单地只是一种礼节问题。 —

Whereas, again and again, in his time of freedom, he had denounced the perversion of pathological doubt into moral doubt and had said– “the purest experiment in treatment may still be conscientious: —
而在他自由的时候，他一次又一次地谴责了病理上的怀疑被转化为道德怀疑，并说：“最纯粹的治疗实验仍然是忠实的：我的职责是保护生命，并尽我所能为其做到最好。 —

my business is to take care of life, and to do the best I can think of for it. —
我的事情是照顾生命，为它做我认为最好的事情。 —

Science is properly more scrupulous than dogma. —
科学比教条更谨慎。 —

Dogma gives a charter to mistake, but the very breath of science is a contest with mistake, and must keep the conscience alive.” —
教条容易犯错，而科学的气息则是与错误作斗争，必须保持良知敏锐。 —

Alas! the scientific conscience had got into the debasing company of money obligation and selfish respects.
唉！科学良心已经沦陷于金钱义务和私利尊重之中。

“Is there a medical man of them all in Middlemarch who would question himself as I do?” —
“迈德尔马奇有一个医生会像我这样反思吗？” —

said poor Lydgate, with a renewed outburst of rebellion against the oppression of his lot. —
可怜的莱德盖特又一次愤然反抗自己的命运。 —

“And yet they will all feel warranted in making a wide space between me and them, as if I were a leper! —
“而他们却会觉得我和他们之间应该保持距离，就好像我是一个痳疯者！ —

My practice and my reputation are utterly damned– I can see that. —
我的业务和声誉都彻底毁了—我能看得出来。 —

Even if I could be cleared by valid evidence, it would make little difference to the blessed world here. —
即使有有效证据证明我清白，这对这个幸福的世界来说并没有什么影响。 —

I have been set down as tainted and should be cheapened to them all the same.”
我已经被看作是有污点的，并且对他们来说我会被贬低。”

Already there had been abundant signs which had hitherto puzzled him, that just when he had been paying off his debts and getting cheerfully on his feet, the townsmen were avoiding him or looking strangely. —
已经有足够的迹象一直困扰着他，当他在偿还债务，重新振作的时候，镇上的人开始避之唯恐不及，或者用异样的眼光看待他。 —

at him, and in two instances it came to his knowledge that patients of his had called in another practitioner. —
在两个有迹象表明，他的病人中有些人已经请了其他医生。 —

The reasons were too plain now. The general black-balling had begun.
现在原因太清楚了。普遍的抵制已经开始了。

No wonder that in Lydgate’s energetic nature the sense of a hopeless misconstruction easily turned into a dogged resistance. —
难怪在莱德盖特豪爽的天性中，对于毫无希望的误解感到坚决抵抗。 —

The scowl which occasionally showed itself on his square brow was not a meaningless accident. —
他宽阔的额头上偶尔露出的愠怒并非偶然。 —

Already when he was re-entering the town after that ride taken in the first hours of stinging pain, he was setting his mind on remaining in Middlemarch in spite of the worst that could be done against him. —
当他在疼痛的头几小时中骑马返回市镇时，他已经下定决心，无论如何要留在迈德尔马奇。 —

He would not retreat before calumny, as if he submitted to it. —
他不会在诽谤面前退缩，仿佛他屈服于它。 —

He would face it to the utmost, and no act of his should show that he was afraid. —
他会全力面对，他的任何举动都不会显示他害怕。 —

It belonged to the generosity as well as defiant force of his nature that he resolved not to shrink from showing to the full his sense of obligation to Bulstrode. —
他发自内心地决定不退缩，充分显示出他对Bulstrode的感激之情，这既是他慷慨又是他内心的坚定力量。 —

It was true that the association with this man had been fatal to him– true that if he had had the thousand pounds still in his hands with all his debts unpaid he would have returned the money to Bulstrode, and taken beggary rather than the rescue which had been sullied with the suspicion of a bribe (for, remember, he was one of the proudest among the sons of men)–nevertheless, he would not turn away from this crushed fellow-mortal whose aid he had used, and make a pitiful effort to get acquittal for himself by howling against another. —
与这个人的交往确实对他是致命的——确实，如果他手中还有一千英镑，债务未清，他会把钱还给Bulstrode，宁可被救助的过程带上贿赂的嫌疑而陷入赤贫（请记住，他是最骄傲的人之一）——然而，他不会抛弃这个已被压垮的人，尽管曾经求助于他，却怜悯自己。 —

“I shall do as I think right, and explain to nobody. —
“我将按自己认为正确的方式行事，并且不向任何人解释。 —

They will try to starve me out, but–” he was going on with an obstinate resolve, but he was getting near home, and the thought of Rosamond urged itself again into that chief place from which it had been thrust by the agonized struggles of wounded honor and pride.
他本来想要做一个顽固的决定，但他快要到家了，Rosa蒙德的想法再次涌入他心中，推开了那些被受伤的尊严和自尊的痛苦挣扎所挤占的主要位置。

How would Rosamond take it all? Here was another weight of chain to drag, and poor Lydgate was in a bad mood for bearing her dumb mastery. —
罗莎蒙会如何对待这一切？又有一根沉重的束缚，要拖着，可怜的莱德盖特情绪低落，抵受不了她的沉默统治。 —

He had no impulse to tell her the trouble which must soon be common to them both. —
他没有告诉她很快会发生的他们俩都会面临的麻烦的冲动。 —

He preferred waiting for the incidental disclosure which events must soon bring about.
他更愿意等待事件必将揭示的偶然披露。