“Love seeketh not itself to please, Nor for itself hath any care But for another gives its ease And builds a heaven in hell’s despair. —
爱不渴求自我取悦， 无任何自私在意， 只为他者带来舒适， 建起天堂在地狱绝望。 —

… … . Love seeketh only self to please, To bind another to its delight, Joys in another’s loss of ease, And builds a hell in heaven’s despite.” —
爱只渴求自我取乐， 去紧绑他者的欢悦， 乐他者不自在之失， 在天堂上建起地狱的反抗。 —

–W. BLAKE: Songs of Experience
–W. BLAKE: 经验之歌

Fred Vincy wanted to arrive at Stone Court when Mary could not expect him, and when his uncle was not down-stairs in that case she might be sitting alone in the wainscoted parlor. —
弗雷德·文茨希望在玛丽不期而遇的时候抵达斯通庭，他的叔叔不在楼下的情况下，在那种情况下她可能正独自坐在有镶木饰墙的客厅里。 —

He left his horse in the yard to avoid making a noise on the gravel in front, and entered the parlor without other notice than the noise of the door-handle. —
他把马留在院子里，以免在前面的砾石上发出声音，他毫无征兆地走进客厅。 —

Mary was in her usual corner, laughing over Mrs. Piozzi’s recollections of Johnson, and looked up with the fun still in her face. —
玛丽在她惯常的角落里，笑着读皮奥茨夫人对约翰逊的回忆，笑容仍留在她的脸上。 —

It gradually faded as she saw Fred approach her without speaking, and stand before her with his elbow on the mantel-piece, looking ill. —
她见弗雷德走过来没有说话，站在她面前，肘靠在壁炉台上，看起来不舒服。 —

She too was silent, only raising her eyes to him inquiringly.
她也沉默，只是抬起眼睛向他询问。

“Mary,” he began, “I am a good-for-nothing blackguard.”
“玛丽，”他开始说，“我是一个无用的恶棍。”

“I should think one of those epithets would do at a time,” said Mary, trying to smile, but feeling alarmed.
“我认为这两个词之一在这个时候就足够了，”玛丽试图微笑，但感到担忧。

“I know you will never think well of me any more. You will think me a liar. —
“我知道你以后再也不会看好我了。你会认为我是个撒谎者。 —

You will think me dishonest. You will think I didn’t care for you, or your father and mother. —
你会认为我是不诚实的。你会认为我不在乎你，或者你的父母。 —

You always do make the worst of me, I know.”
你总是把我看得最坏，我知道。”

“I cannot deny that I shall think all that of you, Fred, if you give me good reasons. —
“如果你给我充分的理由，我无法否认我会把这一切都当成你对我所做的，弗雷德。 —

But please to tell me at once what you have done. —
但请立即告诉我你做了什么。 —

I would rather know the painful truth than imagine it.”
我宁愿知道痛苦的真相，也不愿意去想象。

“I owed money–a hundred and sixty pounds. I asked your father to put his name to a bill. —
我欠了一笔钱–一百六十镑。我请你的父亲为票据上的名字。 —

I thought it would not signify to him. I made sure of paying the money myself, and I have tried as hard as I could. —
我以为对他来说这不会有关紧要。我确信自己能还清这笔钱，我尽了我最大的努力。 —

And now, I have been so unlucky–a horse has turned out badly– I can only pay fifty pounds. —
现在，我运气太不好了–一匹马表现得很糟糕–我只能支付五十镑。 —

And I can’t ask my father for the money: he would not give me a farthing. —
我不能向我父亲借钱：他一分也不会给我。 —

And my uncle gave me a hundred a little while ago. So what can I do? —
我叔叔前段时间给了我一百镑。那我能做什么呢？ —

And now your father has no ready money to spare, and your mother will have to pay away her ninety-two pounds that she has saved, and she says your savings must go too. You see what a–”
现在你的父亲没有闲钱，你母亲将不得不支付她存下的九十二镑，她说你的储蓄也得用掉。你看到发生了什么–

“Oh, poor mother, poor father!” said Mary, her eyes filling with tears, and a little sob rising which she tried to repress. —
“哦，可怜的母亲，可怜的父亲！” 玛丽说着，眼睛里挤满了泪水，试图抑制住小小的哭声。 —

She looked straight before her and took no notice of Fred, all the consequences at home becoming present to her. —
她直视前方，对弗雷德没有任何回应，心里却充满了家里的一切后果。 —

He too remained silent for some moments, feeling more miserable than ever. —
他也沉默了一会儿，感觉比以往更加痛苦。 —

“I wouldn’t have hurt you for the world, Mary,” he said at last. —
“我绝不会伤害你，玛丽，” 最后他说。 —

“You can never forgive me.”
“你永远也不会原谅我.”

“What does it matter whether I forgive you?” said Mary, passionately. —
“我原谅你又有何关系呢？” 玛丽激动地说。 —

“Would that make it any better for my mother to lose the money she has been earning by lessons for four years, that she might send Alfred to Mr. Hanmer’s? —
“如果我原谅你，对于我母亲因为四年课时所挣的钱必须付给阿尔弗雷德去汉默先生学校，这一切会变得多么令人愉快呢？” —

Should you think all that pleasant enough if I forgave you?”
“如果我原谅你，那一切会变得更好吗？”

“Say what you like, Mary. I deserve it all.”
“你想说什么就说吧，玛丽。我应得一切。”

“I don’t want to say anything,” said Mary, more quietly, “and my anger is of no use.” —
“我不想说什么，”玛丽更加轻声地说道，”我的愤怒没有用处。” —

She dried her eyes, threw aside her book, rose and fetched her sewing.
她擦干眼泪，放下书，起身拿起针线。

Fred followed her with his eyes, hoping that they would meet hers, and in that way find access for his imploring penitence. —
弗雷德盯着她，希望他们的目光相遇，以此来传达他请求的忏悔之意。 —

But no! Mary could easily avoid looking upward.
但是！玛丽很容易避开抬头的目光。

“I do care about your mother’s money going,” he said, when she was seated again and sewing quickly. —
“我很在意你母亲的钱花去了，”他说，当她再次坐下来快速地缝制时。 —

“I wanted to ask you, Mary– don’t you think that Mr. Featherstone–if you were to tell him– tell him, I mean, about apprenticing Alfred–would advance the money?”
“我想问你，玛丽–你不觉得费瑟斯通先生–如果你告诉他–告诉他，我的意思是，关于让艾尔弗雷德学徒–他会提前给钱吗？

“My family is not fond of begging, Fred. We would rather work for our money. —
“我家人不喜欢乞求，弗雷德。我们宁愿靠自己的劳动赚取报酬。 —

Besides, you say that Mr. Featherstone has lately given you a hundred pounds. —
而且，你说费瑟斯通先生最近给了你一百镑。 —

He rarely makes presents; he has never made presents to us. —
他很少送礼物；他从未给过我们礼物。 —

I am sure my father will not ask him for anything; —
我相信我父亲不会向他要什么； —

and even if I chose to beg of him, it would be of no use.”
即使我选择向他讨饶，也是没有用的。”

“I am so miserable, Mary–if you knew how miserable I am, you would be sorry for me.”
“我太难过了，玛丽–如果你知道我有多难过，你会为我感到遗憾的。”

“There are other things to be more sorry for than that. —
“比起那些，还有更值得为之难过的事。 —

But selfish people always think their own discomfort of more importance than anything else in the world. —
但是自私的人总是觉得自己的不舒服比世界上任何事情都重要。” —

I see enough of that every day.”
我每天都看到足够多了。

“It is hardly fair to call me selfish. If you knew what things other young men do, you would think me a good way off the worst.”
说我自私是很不公平的。如果你知道其他年轻人做的事情，你会觉得我其实算不上最糟糕的。

“I know that people who spend a great deal of money on themselves without knowing how they shall pay, must be selfish. —
我知道那些花很多钱在自己身上却不知道怎么还款的人必定是自私的。 —

They are always thinking of what they can get for themselves, and not of what other people may lose.”
他们总是想着自己能得到什么，而不是别人可能会失去什么。

“Any man may be unfortunate, Mary, and find himself unable to pay when he meant it. —
任何人都可能遇到不幸，玛丽，发现自己无力偿还。 —

There is not a better man in the world than your father, and yet he got into trouble.”
世上没有比你父亲更好的人了，但他还是陷入了困境。

“How dare you make any comparison between my father and you, Fred?” —
“你怎敢把我父亲和你相提并论，弗雷德？” —

said Mary, in a deep tone of indignation. —
玛丽愤怒地深沉地说道。 —

“He never got into trouble by thinking of his own idle pleasures, but because he was always thinking of the work he was doing for other people. —
他从来不是因为自己的消遣而惹上麻烦，而是因为总是想着为别人做的工作。 —

And he has fared hard, and worked hard to make good everybody’s loss.”
他吃了很大的苦，努力工作来弥补每个人的损失。

“And you think that I shall never try to make good anything, Mary. It is not generous to believe the worst of a man. —
“你认为我永远不会去弥补任何事情，玛丽。认为一个人最坏是不仁慷慨的。 —

When you have got any power over him, I think you might try and use it to make him better; —
当你有权利左右他时，我认为你应该试着利用它让他变得更好; —

but that is what you never do. However, I’m going,” Fred ended, languidly. —
但这是你从来不做的。无论如何，我走了，”弗雷德结束时懒洋洋地说。 —

“I shall never speak to you about anything again. —
“我再也不会和你谈任何事了。 —

I’m very sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused–that’s all.”
我为所有的麻烦感到非常抱歉——仅此而已。”

Mary had dropped her work out of her hand and looked up. —
玛丽把手中的工作掉在地上，抬起头来。 —

There is often something maternal even in a girlish love, and Mary’s hard experience had wrought her nature to an impressibility very different from that hard slight thing which we call girlishness. —
甚至在一个少女的爱情中通常也有一种母性特质，玛丽的艰难经历让她的性格变得非常易感，与我们所说的少女气质完全不同。 —

At Fred’s last words she felt an instantaneous pang, something like what a mother feels at the imagined sobs or cries of her naughty truant child, which may lose itself and get harm. —
在弗雷德最后的话语中，她感到一阵刹那痛楚，有点像一个母亲在想象自己调皮懒惰的孩子可能会失踪或受伤时的感觉。 —

And when, looking up, her eyes met his dull despairing glance, her pity for him surmounted her anger and all her other anxieties.
当抬头看到他那沉闷绝望的眼神时，她对他的怜悯克服了她的愤怒以及其他所有焦虑。

“Oh, Fred, how ill you look! Sit down a moment. Don’t go yet. Let me tell uncle that you are here. —
“哦，弗雷德，你看起来多么不舒服！坐下休息一会儿。别走，让我告诉叔叔你来了。 —

He has been wondering that he has not seen you for a whole week.” —
上周都没见你，他一直在纳闷呢。” —

Mary spoke hurriedly, saying the words that came first without knowing very well what they were, but saying them in a half-soothing half-beseeching tone, and rising as if to go away to Mr. Featherstone. —
玛丽匆匆忙忙地说着，说出了脑海里浮现的第一句话，自己也不太清楚是什么话，但语气既半安慰又半乞求，一边站起来准备去找费瑟斯通先生。 —

Of course Fred felt as if the clouds had parted and a gleam had come: —
当然，弗雷德觉得就像云层已经散开，一缕光明出现了： —

he moved and stood in her way.
他移动过去站在她面前。

“Say one word, Mary, and I will do anything. —
“玛丽，只要说一个字，我什么都愿意做。 —

Say you will not think the worst of me–will not give me up altogether.”
说你不会对我想得太坏–不会完全放弃我。”

“As if it were any pleasure to me to think ill of you,” said Mary, in a mournful tone. —
“好像我很乐意对你恶言相向一样，”玛丽悲伤地说道。 —

“As if it were not very painful to me to see you an idle frivolous creature. —
“好像看到你成为一个懒散轻浮之徒对我没有伤害一样。 —

How can you bear to be so contemptible, when others are working and striving, and there are so many things to be done–how can you bear to be fit for nothing in the world that is useful? —
当别人在努力工作，尽力做事情的时候，你怎么能忍心如此卑劣，如今世上还有那么多事情要去做–你怎么能忍心在这个世界上毫无用处？ —

And with so much good in your disposition, Fred,– you might be worth a great deal.”
尤其是你这样的性情还有这么多优点，弗雷德，–你本来可以有很大的价值的。”

“I will try to be anything you like, Mary, if you will say that you love me.”
“玛丽，如果你说爱我，我愿意成为任何你喜欢的样子。”

“I should be ashamed to say that I loved a man who must always be hanging on others, and reckoning on what they would do for him. —
“我会为爱一个总是依赖别人、指望别人为他做事的人感到羞愧。 —

What will you be when you are forty? Like Mr. Bowyer, I suppose– just as idle, living in Mrs. Beck’s front parlor–fat and shabby, hoping somebody will invite you to dinner–spending your morning in learning a comic song–oh no! —
当你四十岁时你会成什么样子呢？我想会像博尔先生一样–一样懒惰，在贝克太太家的正厅–又肥又邋遢，在盼别人邀请你共进晚餐–在早上学习一首滑稽歌–哦不！ —

learning a tune on the flute.”
在长笛上学一段曲子。”

Mary’s lips had begun to curl with a smile as soon as she had asked that question about Fred’s future (young souls are mobile), and before she ended, her face had its full illumination of fun. —
玛丽第一个问题问到弗雷德未来的样子时，她的嘴角开始翘起一丝微笑（年轻的心灵总是活跃的），在结束之前，她的脸上已经充满了欢乐的光芒。 —

To him it was like the cessation of an ache that Mary could laugh at him, and with a passive sort of smile he tried to reach her hand; —
对他来说，玛丽能笑他，就像一种疼痛的缓解，于是他试图被动地微笑着伸出手去抓她的手； —

but she slipped away quickly towards the door and said, “I shall tell uncle. —
但她迅速地闪到门口说道：“我要告诉叔叔。” —

You must see him for a moment or two.”
你 必须 看他一两分钟。

Fred secretly felt that his future was guaranteed against the fulfilment of Mary’s sarcastic prophecies, apart from that “anything” which he was ready to do if she would define it He never dared in Mary’s presence to approach the subject of his expectations from Mr. Featherstone, and she always ignored them, as if everything depended on himself. —
弗雷德暗自感到，除了他愿意做的那个“任何事”，他的未来是不受玛丽讽刺预言影响的。他从不敢在玛丽面前提及他对费瑟斯通先生的期望，她总是置之不理，好像一切都取决于他自己。 —

But if ever he actually came into the property, she must recognize the change in his position. —
但是如果他真的继承了财产，她必须要承认他地位的变化。 —

All this passed through his mind somewhat languidly, before he went up to see his uncle. —
在去看叔叔之前，他有点慢吞吞地想了这些事情。 —

He stayed but a little while, excusing himself on the ground that he had a cold; —
他只逗留了很短的时间，以感冒为借口告辞； —

and Mary did not reappear before he left the house. —
离开房子之前，玛丽没有再出现。 —

But as he rode home, he began to be more conscious of being ill, than of being melancholy.
但在骑马回家的路上，他开始更加意识到自己生病了，而不是忧郁。

When Caleb Garth arrived at Stone Court soon after dusk, Mary was not surprised, although he seldom had leisure for paying her a visit, and was not at all fond of having to talk with Mr. Featherstone. —
卡勒布·加斯在黄昏时分到达斯通庄，玛丽并不惊讶，尽管他很少有时间去拜访她，也并不喜欢与费瑟斯通先生交谈。 —

The old man, on the other hand, felt himself ill at ease with a brother-in-law whom he could not annoy, who did not mind about being considered poor, had nothing to ask of him, and understood all kinds of farming and mining business better than he did. —
另一方面，老人感到自己对于这位小舅子感到不自在，因为他不能惹恼他，他不在乎被认为是穷人，没有什么要求，而且在各种农业和矿业业务方面比自己更懂。 —

But Mary had felt sure that her parents would want to see her, and if her father had not come, she would have obtained leave to go home for an hour or two the next day. —
但玛丽确信她的父母会想见她，如果父亲没有来，她第二天会请假回家一两个小时。 —

After discussing prices during tea with Mr. Featherstone Caleb rose to bid him good-by, and said, “I want to speak to you, Mary.”
在茶后与费瑟斯通先生讨论价格后，卡勒布起身告别，并说，“我想和你说句话，玛丽。”

She took a candle into another large parlor, where there was no fire, and setting down the feeble light on the dark mahogany table, turned round to her father, and putting her arms round his neck kissed him with childish kisses which he delighted in,–the expression of his large brows softening as the expression of a great beautiful dog softens when it is caressed. —
她拿着蜡烛走进另一个没有火的大客厅，在黑色红木桌上放下微弱的光，转身对着父亲，抱着他的脖子，用孩子般的亲吻亲吻他，他那宽大的眉毛软化了，就像一只被爱抚时变得柔和了表情的大美犬。 —

Mary was his favorite child, and whatever Susan might say, and right as she was on all other subjects, Caleb thought it natural that Fred or any one else should think Mary more lovable than other girls.
玛丽是他最喜欢的孩子，无论苏珊可能说什么，她在其他所有事情上都是正确的，卡勒布认为弗雷德或任何其他人都认为玛丽比其他女孩更可爱，这是很自然的。

“I’ve got something to tell you, my dear,” said Caleb in his hesitating way. —
“我有一件事要告诉你，我亲爱的，”卡勒布用犹豫的口吻说。 —

“No very good news; but then it might be worse.”
“不算太好的消息；但是情况可能会更糟。”

“About money, father? I think I know what it is.”
“关于钱，父亲？我想我知道是什么了。”

“Ay? how can that be? You see, I’ve been a bit of a fool again, and put my name to a bill, and now it comes to paying; —
“哎？这怎么可能？你看，我又有点儿傻了，签了一张汇票，现在要还款； —

and your mother has got to part with her savings, that’s the worst of it, and even they won’t quite make things even. —
你母亲必须动用她的积蓄，这是最糟糕的地方，而即使这样也不足以填补。 —

We wanted a hundred and ten pounds: your mother has ninety-two, and I have none to spare in the bank; —
我们需要110英镑：你母亲有92英镑，而我在银行里一分钱也没有； —

and she thinks that you have some savings.”
她认为你有一些存款。”

“Oh yes; I have more than four-and-twenty pounds. —
“哦是的；我有超过24英镑。 —

I thought you would come, father, so I put it in my bag. —
我想你会来，父亲，所以我把钱放在包里。 —

See! beautiful white notes and gold.”
看！漂亮的白钞和金子。”

Mary took out the folded money from her reticule and put it into her father’s hand.
玛丽从她的小提包里拿出折叠的钱给了父亲。

“Well, but how–we only want eighteen–here, put the rest back, child,–but how did you know about it?” —
“好吧，但是我们只需要18–这儿，把剩下的放回去吧，孩子，–但是你是怎么知道的呢？” —

said Caleb, who, in his unconquerable indifference to money, was beginning to be chiefly concerned about the relation the affair might have to Mary’s affections.
卡勒布（Caleb）说，他不可征服的对金钱的漠不关心，现在主要开始担心这件事会对玛丽的感情产生什么影响。

“Fred told me this morning.”
“弗雷德今天早上告诉我的。”

“Ah! Did he come on purpose?”
“啊！他是特意来的吗？”

“Yes, I think so. He was a good deal distressed.”
“是的，我想是的。他看起来很烦恼。”

“I’m afraid Fred is not to be trusted, Mary,” said the father, with hesitating tenderness. —
“我害怕弗雷德是不可信赖的，玛丽，” 父亲带着犹豫的温柔说。 —

“He means better than he acts, perhaps. But I should think it a pity for any body’s happiness to be wrapped up in him, and so would your mother.”
“也许他的意思比他的行为更好。但我认为让任何人的幸福寄托在他身上是件遗憾的事情，你的母亲也会这么想的。”

“And so should I, father,” said Mary, not looking up, but putting the back of her father’s hand against her cheek.
“父亲，我也是这么想的，”玛丽说着，没有抬起头来，只是把父亲的手背贴在自己的脸颊上。

“I don’t want to pry, my dear. But I was afraid there might be something between you and Fred, and I wanted to caution you. —
“亲爱的，我不想打听你的私事。但我担心你和弗雷德之间可能有什么事情，所以想提醒你。 —

You see, Mary”–here Caleb’s voice became more tender; —
你知道，玛丽”–此时卡勒布的声音变得更加温柔； —

he had been pushing his hat about on the table and looking at it, but finally he turned his eyes on his daughter–“a woman, let her be as good as she may, has got to put up with the life her husband makes for her. —
他一直在桌子上推着帽子，看着帽子，最后把目光转向女儿–“一个女人，无论她有多么善良，都必须忍受她丈夫为她制造的生活。 —

Your mother has had to put up with a good deal because of me.”
你母亲因为我已经忍受了很多事情。

Mary turned the back of her father’s hand to her lips and smiled at him.
玛丽把父亲的手背放在唇边，对他微笑着。

“Well, well, nobody’s perfect, but”–here Mr. Garth shook his head to help out the inadequacy of words–“what I am thinking of is– what it must be for a wife when she’s never sure of her husband, when he hasn’t got a principle in him to make him more afraid of doing the wrong thing by others than of getting his own toes pinched. —
“好了，好了，没有人完美，但”–在这里，加思先生摇了摇头，以此来弥补言语的不足–“我在想的是——当一个妻子永远不能确定她的丈夫的时候，她的感受是怎样的，当他没有一个原则让他更害怕对别人做错事胜过自己被伤害的时候。 —

That’s the long and the short of it, Mary. Young folks may get fond of each other before they know what life is, and they may think it all holiday if they can only get together; —
这就是问题的实质，玛丽。年轻人在明白生活是怎样之前可能会彼此相爱，他们可能认为只要能在一起就是假期； —

but it soon turns into working day, my dear. —
但很快就会变成工作日，亲爱的。 —

However, you have more sense than most, and you haven’t been kept in cotton-wool: —
无论如何，你比大多数人更有理智，你也没有被养在棉花中： —

there may be no occasion for me to say this, but a father trembles for his daughter, and you are all by yourself here.”
也许我不需要说这个，但一个父亲总是为女儿担心，而你在这里却独自一人。

“Don’t fear for me, father,” said Mary, gravely meeting her father’s eyes; —
“不要为我担心，父亲，”玛丽认真地看着父亲的眼睛说； —

“Fred has always been very good to me; he is kind-hearted and affectionate, and not false, I think, with all his self-indulgence. —
“弗雷德一直对我很好；他心地善良和充满爱心，虽然有些自我放纵，但我认为他并不虚伪。 —

But I will never engage myself to one who has no manly independence, and who goes on loitering away his time on the chance that others will provide for him. —
但我永远不会与那种没有男子气概，整天散漫时间指望别人养活他的人订婚。” —

You and my mother have taught me too much pride for that.”
你和我母亲教会了我太多的骄傲，所以我做不到这点。”

“That’s right–that’s right. Then I am easy,” said Mr. Garth, taking up his hat. —
“对，对。那么我就离开了，”加思先生说着，拿起了帽子。 —

But it’s hard to run away with your earnings, eh child.”
但是把你的收入拿走是件难事，是吗，孩子。”

“Father!” said Mary, in her deepest tone of remonstrance. —
“父亲！”玛丽以最严厉的语调责备道。 —

“Take pocketfuls of love besides to them all at home,” was her last word before he closed the outer door on himself.
“除了带去家里每个人的爱，还要口袋里塞满爱心，”在他关上外门之前，她的最后一句话。

“I suppose your father wanted your earnings,” said old Mr. Featherstone, with his usual power of unpleasant surmise, when Mary returned to him. —
“我猜你的父亲想要你的收入，”当玛丽回到费瑟斯通老先生跟前时，他像往常一样不善地猜测着说。 —

“He makes but a tight fit, I reckon. You’re of age now; —
“他确实很吝啬，我猜。你现在成年了； —

you ought to be saving for yourself.”
你应该为自己存钱。

“I consider my father and mother the best part of myself, sir,” said Mary, coldly.
“我认为我父亲和母亲是我最好的一部分，先生，” 玛丽冷冷地说。

Mr. Featherstone grunted: he could not deny that an ordinary sort of girl like her might be expected to be useful, so he thought of another rejoinder, disagreeable enough to be always apropos. —
费瑟斯通先生咕哝了一声：他无法否认像她这样一个普通的女孩应该是有用的，所以他想到了一个足以总是合适的反驳。 —

“If Fred Vincy comes to-morrow, now, don’t you keep him chattering: —
“如果弗雷德·温茨明天来，不要让他唠叨：让他直接过来见我。” —

let him come up to me.”
让他过来见我。”