A Girl’s ThoughtsSo much perplexity? So many sleepless nights! Good God! —
一个女孩的想法 —

Am Imaking myself despicable? He will despise me himself. —
我是不是让自己变得可鄙了？他会厌恶我自己。 —

But he’sleaving, he’s going.
但他即将离开，他走了。

ALFRED DE MUSSETIt was not without an inward struggle that Mathilde had brought herself to write. —
阿尔弗雷德·德·穆塞 —

Whatever might have been the beginning of her interest inJulien, it soon overcame the pride which, ever since she had been awareof herself, had reigned alone in her heart. —
自从对朱利安产生兴趣以来，马蒂尔德内心的自尊就被克服了。 —

That cold and haughty spiritwas carried away for the first time by a passionate sentiment. —
这种寒冷而高傲的精神第一次被激情所击倒。 —

But if thisovercame her pride, it was still faithful to the habits bred of pride. —
但即使这战胜了她的自尊，仍然忠实于自尊培养出的习惯。 —

Twomonths of struggle and of novel sensations had so to speak altered herwhole moral nature.
两个月的挣扎和新奇感觉，可以说改变了她整个道德本性。

Mathilde thought she had happiness in sight. —
马蒂尔德认为她看到了幸福。 —

This prospect, irresistibleto a courageous spirit combined with a superior intellect, had to make along fight against dignity and every sentiment of common duty. —
这一前景，对于一个勇敢的精神和优越的智力来说是不可抗拒的，必须付出漫长的战斗才能克服尊严和常识。 —

One dayshe entered her mother’s room, at seven o’clock in the morning, beggingher for leave to retire to Villequier. —
有一天早上七点她进入了母亲房间，恳求她允许去维尔基耶。 —

The Marquise did not even deign toanswer her, and recommended her to go back to her bed. —
侯爵夫人甚至不屑回答她，并建议她回到床上去。 —

This was thelast effort made by plain sense and the deference paid to accepted ideas.
这是对纯粹理智和对被接受的观念的尊敬所做的最后努力。

The fear of wrongdoing and of shocking the ideas held as sacred bythe Caylus, the de Luz, the Croisenois, had little or no hold over her; —
害怕做错事和触犯卡伊勒、德卢兹、克罗伊诺瓦视为神圣的思想的恐惧几乎对她没有什么影响； —

such creatures as they did not seem to her to be made to understand her; —
她觉得这样的人物无法理解她。 —

she would have consulted them had it been a question of buying a carriage or an estate. Her real terror was that Julien might be displeasedwith her.
如果是关于购买马车或庄园的问题，她本会向他们请教。她真正的恐惧是朱利安可能对她不满。

　　’Perhaps, too, he has only the outward appearance of a superiorperson.’
‘也许，他只是外表上看起来像一个优秀的人。’

She abhorred want of character, it was her sole objection to the handsome young men among whom she lived. —
她憎恶没有品格，这是她对身边那些英俊年轻人的唯一反感之处。 —

The more gracefully theymocked at everything which departed from the fashion, or which followed it wrongly when intending to follow it, the more they condemnedthemselves in her eyes.
他们越优雅地嘲弄所有偏离时尚的事物，或者在本意要追随时尚时却追随不当，就越在她眼中自降身价。

　　They were brave, and that was all. ‘And besides, how are they brave?’
他们很勇敢，这就是全部。‘而且，他们到底怎样勇敢？’

she asked herself: ‘in a duel. But the duel is nothing more now than aformality. —
她自问：‘在决斗中。但是现在决斗只不过是一种形式。 —

Everything is known beforehand, even what a man is to saywhen he falls. —
一切事先都已知晓，甚至一个人在倒下时要说的话。 —

Lying on the grass, his hand on his heart, he must extend ahandsome pardon to his adversary and leave a message for a fair onewho is often imaginary, or who goes to a ball on the day of his death, forfear of arousing suspicion.
躺在草地上，手放在心脏上，他必须慷慨地原谅对手，并留下口信给一个常常只存在于想象中的女人，或者由于怀疑而在临死之日去参加一个舞会。

　　’A man will face danger at the head of a squadron all glittering withsteel, but a danger that is solitary, strange, sudden, truly ugly?
‘一个人会在一支全副武装的中队前面面对危险，但是孤独、陌生、突然、真正丑恶的危险呢？

‘Alas!’ said Mathilde, ‘it was at the Court of Henri in that one foundmen great by character as well as by birth! —
‘唉！’马蒂尔德说，‘正是在亨利王的宫廷上，人们才会发现那些因为人格而伟大的人，而非仅凭出生。 —

Ah, if Julien had served at Jarnac or at Moncontour, I should no longer be in doubt. —
啊，如果朱利安曾在詹拉克或蒙康图尔作战，我便不再犹豫。 —

In those days ofstrength and prowess, Frenchmen were not mere dolls. —
在那些力量与勇气的时代，法国人不是简简单单的玩偶。 —

The day of battlewas almost the day of least perplexity.
战斗的日子几乎是最少困扰的日子。

‘Their life was not imprisoned like an Egyptian mummy, within an envelope always common to them all, always the same. —
‘他们的生活不像埃及木乃伊那样被囚禁在一个总是共同的外壳中，永远都是一样的。 —

Yes,’ she went on,‘there was more true courage in crossing the town alone at eleven o’clockat night, after leaving the Hotel de Soissons, occupied by Catherine de’
是的，’她继续说，‘在晚上十一点离开被卡特琳·德’索旺占据的苏瓦松酒店后，独自穿越城镇才是真正的勇气。

Medici, than there is today in dashing to Algiers. A man’s life was a succession of hazards. —
在过去，在情感上，世道比如今现状更是如飞至阿尔及尔。一个人的生活是一连串的危险。 —

Nowadays civilisation has banished hazard, there isno room for the unexpected. —
如今，文明已经消除了危险，没有空间给意外。 —

If it appears in our ideas, there are not epigrams enough to cope with it; —
如果它出现在我们的思想中,没有够的警句来对付它; —

if it appears in events, no act of cowardiceis too great for our fear. —
如果它出现在事件中，没有胆怯的行为对我们的恐惧来说太过分。 —

Whatever folly our fear makes us commit is excused us. Degenerate and boring age! —
无论我们的恐惧让我们犯下什么愚蠢的行为，都是可以理解的。衰落和乏味的年代! —

What would Boniface de La Molehave said if, raising his severed head from the tomb, he had seen, in1793, seventeen of his descendants allow themselves to be penned likesheep, to be guillotined a day or two later? —
如果那时候，博纳法斯·德·拉莫勒（Boniface de La Mole）能够将他的被斩首的头从墓穴中抬起，他会如何看待在1793年，看到他的十七个后代像羊一样被驱赶，一两天后将被送上断头台? —

Their death was certain, but itwould have been in bad form to defend themselves and at least kill a Jacobin or two. —
他们的死是注定的，但至少也该有点风度来为自己辩护，至少杀几个雅各宾运动分子。 —

Ah! In the heroic age of France, in the days of Boniface deLa Mole, Julien would have been the squadron commander, and mybrother the young priest, properly behaved, with wisdom in his eyes andreason on his lips.’
啊!在法国的英雄时代，即在博纳法斯·德·拉莫勒（Boniface de La Mole）的时代, 朱利安（Julien）会是中队指挥官, 我的兄弟是那个年轻的牧师, 行为得体, 眼中充满智慧, 嘴上唯理。

A few months since, Mathilde had despaired of meeting anyone a littledifferent from the common pattern. —
几个月前，玛蒂尔德（Mathilde）曾绝望过一个与众不同的人。 —

She had found a certain happiness in allowing herself to write to various young men of fashion. —
她在与各种时髦年轻男子书信往来中找到了一种幸福。 —

This act ofboldness, so unconventional, so imprudent in a young girl, might dis-honour her in the eyes of M. de Croisenois, of his father, the Duc deChaulnes, and of the whole house of Chaulnes, who, seeing the projectedmarriage broken off, would wish to know the reason. —
这种大胆、不按牌理出牌的行为在一个年轻女孩身上，可能会让她在克罗瓦诺伊男爵（M. de Croisenois)、他的父亲, 索恩公爵（Duc de Chaulnes）和整个肖讷家族眼里失去荣誉，并想知道终止计划的原因。 —

At that time, on thenight after she had written one of these letters, Mathilde was unable tosleep. —
那个时候，她在写完这些信之后的晚上无法入眠。 —

But these letters were mere replies.
但这些信只是简单的回复。

Now she had ventured to say that she was in love. —
现在她已经不怕说她爱了。 —

She had writtenfirst (what a terrible word! —
她第一次写（这词真是太过分了）。 —

) to a man in the lowest rank of society.
) 对于社会中最低层次的男人。

This circumstance assured her, in the event of discovery, eternal disgrace. —
这个情况让她确信，如果被揭露，将会受到永久的耻辱。 —

Which of the women who came to see her mother would dare totake her part? —
来看她母亲的妇女们中，谁敢站在她这一边呢？ —

What polite expression could be put into their mouths tolessen the shock of the fearful contempt of the drawing-rooms?
他们口中的哪种礼貌措辞能够减轻社交圈的可怕蔑视的冲击？

And even to speak to a man was fearful, but to write! —
甚至和男人说话都令人恐惧，更不用说写字！ —

‘There are thingswhich one does not write,’ Napoleon exclaimed when he heard of thesurrender of Baylen. —
‘有些事情是不能写的，’ 拿破仑在听到拜伦投降的消息时呼喊。 —

And it was Julien who had told her of this saying!
是朱利安告诉她这句话的！

　　As though teaching her a lesson in advance.
仿佛在提前教训她一样。

　　But all this was still nothing, Mathilde’s anguish had other causes.
但是所有这些还不算什么，玛蒂尔德的痛苦有其他原因。

　　Oblivious of the horrible effect upon society, of the ineradicable blot, theuniversal contempt, for she was outraging her caste, Mathilde was writing to a person of a very different nature from the Croisenois, the de Luz,the Caylus.
尽管漠视了对社会的可怕影响，永远的污点，普遍的蔑视，因为她正在冒犯她的阶层，玛蒂尔德正在写信给一个与克罗伊瑟瓦、德卢兹、凯卢斯非常不同的人。

The depth, the strangeness of Julien’s character had alarmed her, evenwhen she was forming an ordinary relation with him. —
朱利安性格的深度和奇异之处曾让她感到不安，即便当时他们之间正在形成一种普通关系。 —

And she was going to make him her lover, possibly her master!
她将让他成为她的恋人，可能甚至是她的主人！

‘What claims will he not assert, if ever he is in a position to do as helikes with me? —
‘如果他有机会随心所欲地对待我，他会不会提出怎样的要求呢？ —

Very well! I shall say to myself like Medea: —
好！我会像玛黛娅一样对自己说： —

“Midst all theseperils, I have still MYSELF.”’
“在所有这些危险中，我还是拥有了自己。”’

Julien had no reverence for nobility of blood, she understood. —
朱利安对血统的高贵毫不恭敬，她明白了。 —

Worse,still, perhaps, he felt no love for her!
更糟糕的是，也许他对她没有爱！

In these final moments of tormenting doubts, she was visited by ideasof feminine pride. —
在这些折磨人的疑虑的最后时刻，她被女性的自尊念头所拜访。 —

‘Everything ought to be strange in the lot of a girl likemyself,’ cried Mathilde, with impatience. —
“像我这样的女孩的命运应该是陌生的一切，” 玛蒂尔德焦躁地喊道。 —

And so the pride that had beeninculcated in her from her cradle began to fight against her virtue. —
因此，从她出生起就灌输给她的自尊开始与她的美德作斗争。 —

It wasat this point that Julien’s threatened departure came to precipitateevents.
正是在这一点上，朱利安潜在的离去开始催促事件。

(Such characters are fortunately quite rare. —
(幸运的是，这样的人物是相当罕见的。 —

) Late that night, Julien was malicious enough to have an extremelyheavy trunk carried down to the porter’s lodge; —
) 深夜，朱利安恶毒地让人把一个极其沉重的大衣箱搬到了门房； —

to carry it, he summonedthe footman who was courting Mademoiselle de La Mole’s maid. —
为搬运这个箱子，他召唤了那位正在追求拉莫勒小姐的女仆的男仆。 —

‘Thisdevice may lead to no result,’ he said to himself, ‘but if it proves successful, she will think that I have gone.’ —
“这个策略可能毫无效果，”他自言自语，“但如果成功的话，她会以为我已经离开了。” —

He went to sleep, highly delightedwith his trick. —
他高兴地想着这个把戏，然后入睡了。 —

Mathilde never closed an eye.
玛蒂尔德从未合眼。

　　Next morning, at a very early hour, Julien left the house unobserved,but returned before eight o’clock.
第二天早晨，尤利安在没人注意的情况下出了家门，但在八点前就回来了。

No sooner was he in the library than Mademoiselle de La Mole appeared on the threshold. —
他一进图书室，拉莫勒小姐就出现在门口。 —

He handed her his answer. He thought that itwas incumbent upon him to speak to her; —
他把回答递给了她。他认为有必要跟她说几句； —

this, at least, was the most polite course, but Mademoiselle de La Mole would not listen to him andvanished. —
至少这是最有礼貌的做法，但拉莫勒小姐却不愿听他说话，然后消失了。 —

Julien was overjoyed, he had not known what to say to her.
尤利安感到欣喜，他不知道该对她说什么。

‘If all this is not a trick arranged with Comte Norbert, plainly it musthave been my frigid glance that has kindled the freakish love which thisgirl of noble birth has taken it into her head to feel for me. —
“如果这一切不是与诺贝尔伯爵商定好的把戏，那显然这是我的冷漠眼神点燃了这个贵族血统的女孩让她突发奇想地对我产生了爱意。 —

I should be alittle too much of a fool if I ever allowed myself to be drawn into feelingany attraction towards the great flaxen doll.’ —
如果我允许自己开始对这个高大的金发洋娃娃产生吸引力，那我就太愚蠢了。” —

This piece of reasoning lefthim more cold and calculating than he had ever been.
这种推理让他变得比以往任何时候都更冷静和理智。

‘In the battle that is preparing,’ he went on, ‘pride of birth will be like ahigh hill, forming a military position between her and myself. —
“在即将展开的战斗中，血统的自豪将成为一座高山，像一座军事阵地，形成在她与我之间。 —

It is therethat we must manoeuvre. I have done wrong to remain in Paris; —
我们必须在这里操纵。我选择留在巴黎是错误的； —

thispostponement of my departure cheapens me, and exposes my flank if allthis is only a game. —
我的延迟离开就好像贬低了我，暴露了我的弱点，如果这一切只是一个游戏。 —

What danger was there in my going? I was foolingthem, if they are fooling me. —
我的离开有什么危险吗？如果他们在愚弄我，那我就在愚弄他们。 —

If her interest in me has any reality, I wasincreasing that interest an hundredfold.’
如果她对我的兴趣是真实的，那么我增加了那种兴趣一百倍。

　　Mademoiselle de La Mole’s letter had so flattered Julien’s vanity that,while he laughed at what was happening to him, he had forgotten tothink seriously of the advantages of departure.
拉莫勒小姐的信如此奉承了朱利安的虚荣心，以至于他在嘲笑自己的同时，忘记了认真考虑离开的好处。

It was a weakness of his character to be extremely sensitive to his ownfaults. —
他性格中的一种弱点是对自己的过错极度敏感。 —

He was extremely annoyed at this instance of his weakness, andhad almost ceased to think of the incredible victory which had precededthis slight check when, about nine o’clock, Mademoiselle de La Mole appeared on the threshold of the library, flung him a letter, and fled.
他对自己弱点的这种表现感到非常恼火，几乎停止了对在这次轻微挫折之前取得的令人难以置信的胜利的思考，大约九点钟，拉莫勒小姐出现在书房的门口，扔给他一封信，然后逃走了。

‘It appears that this is to be a romance told in letters,’ he said, as hepicked this one up. —
“看来这会是一则通过信件讲述的浪漫故事，”他说，当他拿起这封信时。 —

‘The enemy makes a false move, now I am going tobring coldness and virtue into play.’
“敌人犯了一个错误，现在轮到我发挥冷漠和美德的作用了。”

The letter called for a definite answer with an arrogance which increased his inward gaiety. —
这封信用一种傲慢的口气要求明确的答复，这增加了他内心的愉快。 —

He gave himself the pleasure of mystifying,for the space of two pages, the people who might wish to make a fool ofhim, and it was with a fresh pleasantry that he announced, towards theend of his reply, his decision to depart on the following morning.
他自己享受着在回复信中对一些可能想愚弄他的人进行玄机操作的乐趣，直到最后，他决定在第二天早上离开时，带来了一种新的善意。

This letter finished: ‘The garden can serve me as a post office,’ hethought, and made his way there. —
这封信结束后：“花园可以作为我的邮局，”他想，并朝那边走去。 —

He looked up at the window of Mademoiselle de La Mole’s room.
他抬头看着拉莫勒小姐房间的窗户。

　　It was on the first floor, next to her mother’s apartment, but there wasa spacious mezzanine beneath.
那是在一楼，毗邻她母亲的公寓，但下面还有一个宽敞的阁楼。

This first floor stood so high, that, as he advanced beneath the lime-alley, letter in hand, Julien could not be seen from Mademoiselle de LaMole’s window. —
这个一楼位置如此之高，以至于在朱利安踏着椴树林前进时，抱着信，他从拉莫勒小姐的窗户看不到。 —

The vault formed by the limes, which were admirablypleached, intercepted the view.
由于精巧地编织的椴树林形成的拱形，挡住了视线。

　　’But what is this!’ Julien said to himself, angrily, ‘another imprudence!
“但这又是什么！”朱利安愤怒地自言自语，“又是一次鲁莽行为！

　　If they have decided to make a fool of me, to let myself be seen with aletter in my hand, is to play the enemy’s game.’
如果他们决定愚弄我，让我手拿信件现身，那就是在玩敌人的游戏。”

　　Norbert’s room was immediately above his sister’s, and if Julienemerged from the alley formed by the pleached branches of the limes,the Count and his friends would be able to follow his every movement.
诺贝尔特的房间就在他妹妹的楼上，如果朱利安从连翘树的巷子里走出来，伯爵和他的朋友们就能看到他的每一个动作。

Mademoiselle de La Mole appeared behind her closed window; hehalf showed her his letter; —
拉莫勒小姐出现在她关闭的窗子后面；他稍微给她展示了一下信件； —

she bowed her head. At once Julien ran up tohis own room, and happened to meet, on the main staircase, the fairMathilde, who snatched the letter with perfect composure and laughingeyes.
她低下头。朱利安马上跑到自己的房间，恰好在主楼梯上遇到了漂亮的马蒂尔德，她轻松地笑着接过信件。

　　’What passion there was in the eyes of that poor Madame de Renal,’
“那个可怜的朗亚夫人的眼中有多少激情，”朱利安自言自语，“即使在亲密接触了半年之后，她还敢接收我写给她的信！

Julien said to himself, ‘when, even after six months of intimate relations,she ventured to receive a letter from me! —
我敢肯定，她从来没有用笑眼看着我。” —

Never once, I am sure, did shelook at me with a laugh in her eyes.’
他没有那么清楚地表达剩下的评论；

He did not express to himself so clearly the rest of his comment; —
他是否对自己动机的荒谬感到羞愧？ —

washe ashamed of the futility of his motives? —
“但也看看她的晨装的优雅，她整体外表的优美！ —

‘But also what a difference,’ histhoughts added, ‘in the elegance of her morning gown, in the elegance ofher whole appearance! —
一眼就能看出拉莫尔小姐在社会中的地位。这才是一个可以称之为显著优点的。” —

On catching sight of Mademoiselle de La Molethirty yards off, a man of taste could tell the rank that she occupies in society. —
尽管还在继续玩弄这个主题，朱利安还没有完全坦白自己的思想； —

That is what one may call an explicit merit.’
朗亚夫人并没有一个克雷若瓦侯爵可以为他牺牲。

Still playing with his theme, Julien did not yet confess to himself thewhole of his thoughts; —
看见拉莫尔小姐离他三十码远的地方，一个有品味的人就能分辨出她在社会中的地位。 —

Madame de Renal had had no Marquis de Croisenois to sacrifice to him. —
这就是所谓的明显优点。” —

He had had as a rival only that ignoble Sub Prefect M. Charcot, who had assumed the name of Maugiron, becausethe Maugirons were extinct.
他只有一个卑劣的对手，那就是假托为莫吉隆而实际上是沙尔科的副官马夫罗。

At five o’clock, Julien received a third letter; it was flung at him fromthe library door. —
五点钟，朱利安收到了第三封信，它是从图书馆门口扔给他的。 —

Mademoiselle de La Mole again fled. ‘What a mania forwriting,’ he said to himself with a laugh, ‘when it is so easy for us to talk!
拉莫勒小姐又一次逃走了。他自言自语地笑道，’写作真是一种癖好，我们说话岂不轻松简单!

　　The enemy wishes to have my letters, that is clear, and plenty of them!’
敌人显然想要我的信件，而且数量不少!

He was in no haste to open this last. ‘More elegant phrases,’ he thought; —
他并不急于打开这最后一封。他心想，’更优雅的词句’; —

but he turned pale as he read it. It consisted of eight lines only.
但当他阅读时，脸色却变得苍白。这封信只有八行。

‘I have to speak to you: I must speak to you, tonight; —
‘我必须和你说话：我一定要今晚和你谈; —

when one o’clockstrikes, be in the garden. Take the gardener’s long ladder from beside thewell; —
当一点钟敲响时，在花园里见面。拿走园丁旁边井边的长梯子; —

place it against my window and come up to my room. —
把梯子靠在我窗户旁边，然后到我房间来。 —

There is amoon: no matter.’
月色明亮: 没关系。