1、生，容易。活，容易。生活不容易。
1. Being born is easy. Living is easy. Life is not easy.

2、天大地大，房子就是不降价。
2. The world is vast, but housing prices just won’t drop.

3、要想皮肤好，天天烹炸炒。
3. If you want good skin, cook with frying and stir-frying every day.

4、听君一席话，回家烤白薯。
4. After listening to your words, I went home to bake sweet potatoes.

5、生的伟大，死的廉价。
5. Born great, died cheap.

6、站长更高，尿得越远。
6. The higher the station master, the farther the urination.

7、别跟我谈感情，谈感情伤钱。
7. Don’t talk to me about feelings, it hurts money.

8、混吃的人往往都比较长寿。
8. People who loaf often live longer.

9、男人要有女人缘，低三下四多挣钱。
9. Men should have a good relationship with women, and earn money by being humble.

10、感激伤害我们的人，让他们内疚起吧。
10. Be grateful to those who hurt us, and make them feel guilty.

11、好马不吃回头草，所以好马总挨饿。
11. Good horses don’t eat回头草, so good horses are always hungry.

12、流氓不可怕，就怕流氓有文化。
12. Hooligans are not可怕, but educated hooligans are.

13、顾客就是个屁，放一放就顺气。
13. Customers are just a fart, let it out and you’ll feel better.

14、家事国事天下事，没钱吃饭是大事！
14. Family affairs, national affairs, world affairs, having no money for food is the most important thing!

15、原谅第三者要比原谅同性恋容易。
15. It’s easier to forgive a third party than to forgive a homosexual.

16、你长得真蟀，比蛐蛐好看多了。
16. You look really good, much better than a cricket.

17、我用扯蛋的幸福面对世间的残酷
17. I face the cruelty of the world with the happiness of talking nonsense.

18、男人最忌讳放空枪。多留点子弹给敌人。
18. Men should avoid firing blanks. Save more bullets for the enemy.

19、生活就像大便干燥，你使点劲，过后就舒服了。
19. Life is like constipation; if you exert some effort, you’ll feel comfortable afterward.

20、有的人你和他客气，他就拿你当垃圾。
20. Some people treat you like garbage when you are polite to them.

21、我和超人的唯一区别是：我把内裤穿在里面了。
21. The only difference between me and Superman is that I wear my underwear on the inside.

22、爱情就是我不嫌你装，你别嫌我脏。
22. Love is about me not minding your pretense, and you not minding my dirtiness.

23、只要你选择歪门邪道，口袋钞票就往外冒。
23. If you choose the path of evil, money will flow out of your pocket.

24、与狼共舞的羊们，别忘了自己的身份。
24. Sheep dancing with wolves, don’t forget your identity.

25、有的人本身就没味，做饭能有味吗？
25. Some people are tasteless by nature, can their cooking be tasty?

26、别再给我介绍对象了，我已经戒了。
26. Don’t introduce me to any more potential partners, I’ve quit.

27、你给我匀点肉，别总没事偷着胖。
27. Share some of your meat with me, don’t keep gaining weight secretly.

28、拿夏利当法拉利开你找死呀小子。
28. Treating a Xiali like a Ferrari is suicidal, you little brat.

29、泼妇总是出现在公共场所耍二百五。
29. Shrewd women always appear in public places to act foolish.

30、小样，长得挺暧昧的，就是身材有点颓废。
30. You look quite ambiguous, but your body is a bit decadent.

31、水能载舟，亦能煮粥！
31. Water can carry a boat, and it can also cook porridge!

32、你哭你使劲哭没事，我们家水表早就不走字了。
32. Go ahead and cry as much as you want, our water meter hasn’t been running for a long time.

33、你知道我长得像谁吗？葛优的头发，梁天的眼，成龙的鼻子，舒淇的嘴。
33. Do you know who I look like? Ge You’s hair, Liang Tian’s eyes, Jackie Chan’s nose, and Shu Qi’s mouth.

34、曹操得不了天下，因为他太爱骂街。
34. Cao Cao couldn’t conquer the world because he loved cursing too much.

35、你什么时候请我吃饭，一会我就出去给你买袋干脆面。
35. When are you going to treat me to a meal? I’ll go out and buy you a bag of instant noodles soon.

36、水至清则无鱼，人至贱则无敌。
36. Clear water has no fish, shameless people are invincible.

37、我和脂肪做斗争，差点没牺牲。
37. I almost sacrificed myself in the struggle against fat.

38、请不要把我对你的容忍，当成你不要脸的资本。
38. Please don’t take my tolerance of you as your capital for shamelessness.

39、解释就是掩饰，掩饰就是讲故事。
39. Explanation is a cover-up, and cover-up is telling stories.

40、我一失足成大瘸子，再回首又闪了腰。
40. I stumbled and became a cripple, and when I looked back, I twisted my waist again.

41、我不喜欢整理房间，他们都叫我乱室英雄。
41. I don’t like tidying up my room; they all call me the Hero of Messy Rooms.

42、人贵在言而有信——我说不还钱就不还钱!
42. A person’s worth lies in keeping their word - when I say I won’t repay the money, I won’t!

43、八戒，别以为你站在路灯下就是夜明猪了。
43. Pigsy, don’t think you’re a luminous pig just because you’re standing under a streetlight.

44、夏天就是不好，穷的时候连西北风都没得喝，幸亏现在是秋天了。
44. Summer is not good, as when you’re poor, you can’t even drink the northwest wind; fortunately, it’s autumn now.

45、没有不透风的墙，没有不能上吊的梁。
45. There is no wall that doesn’t let the wind through, and there is no beam that can’t be hanged from.

46、再丑也要谈恋爱，谈到世界充满爱。
46. No matter how ugly, one must still fall in love, until the world is filled with love.

47、我知道,天下无不散宴席,可是,至少,宴席上我要吃得爽!
47. I know that all feasts come to an end, but at least, I want to enjoy my meal at the banquet!

48、拜托不要叫他动脑子好不好－－左脑全是水，右脑全是面粉，不动便罢了，一动全是浆糊。
48. Please don’t ask him to think - his left brain is full of water, and his right brain is full of flour. If he doesn’t move, it’s fine; but as soon as he moves, it all turns into paste.

49、愚者坐以待毙，智者坐以待币。
49. Fools sit and wait to die, while the wise sit and wait for money.

50、每当我错过一个女孩，我就在山上放一块砖，于是，这世界便有了长城。
50. Every time I miss a girl, I place a brick on the mountain, and thus, the Great Wall of the world is built.

51、世界上最遥远的距离不是生与死也不是相爱不知，是冬天被窝里和被窝外的距离。
51. The longest distance in the world is not between life and death, nor not knowing each other when in love, but the distance between the inside and outside of a winter quilt.

52、水壶啊，你为什么哭泣，是因为屁股太烫了吗？
52. Kettle, why are you crying? Is it because your bottom is too hot?

53、女人胖是丰满，瘦是苗条，高是修长，矮是秀气。男人胖是猪，瘦是排骨，高是竹竿，矮是冬瓜！
53. A woman can be fat and considered full, thin and elegant, tall and slender, or short and delicate. A man can be fat and called a pig, thin and a rib, tall and a bamboo pole, or short and a winter melon!

54、我的心不是公交车，不是有空位你就坐下来。
54. My heart is not a bus; you can’t just sit down when there’s an empty seat.

55、别人手牵手，我牵我的狗，走一走，游一游，看谁不爽咬两口。
55. While others hold hands, I walk with my dog, strolling and wandering, and if I see someone I don’t like, I’ll bite them twice.

56、我心中一直有个疑惑，5年了，整整5年了，灰太狼都是吃什么活下去的…
56. I’ve always had a doubt in my heart: for five years, for the whole five years, what has Grey Wolf been eating to survive…?

57、要懂得珍惜守护身边的每个人，因为前世扭断脖子的回眸，我们才换来了今生的相遇。
57. We must learn to cherish and protect everyone around us, for it was our neck-breaking glances in the past life that brought us together in this life.

58、不经历星期一上午的崩溃，就不知道星期五下午的可贵。
58. Without experiencing the collapse of a Monday morning, you can’t appreciate the value of a Friday afternoon.

59、真正的勇士要敢于正视漂亮的美眉，敢于直面惨淡的单身。
59. A true warrior must have the courage to face beautiful girls and confront the bleak reality of being single.

60、我觉得一定有很多人暗恋我，因为这么多年了，也没有人跟我表白！
60. I think there must be many people secretly in love with me, because after all these years, no one has confessed to me!

61、成功三要素：1、坚持；2、不要脸；3、坚持不要脸。你做到了么？
61. The three key elements of success: 1. Persistence; 2. No shame; 3. Persistently shameless. Have you achieved these?

62、心情不好的时候，那就上厕所，上完之后，面部狰狞的对着马桶说：“你给我吃屎吧你！”然后猛冲厕所。
62. When you’re in a bad mood, go to the bathroom. After you’re done, grimace at the toilet and say, “You eat shit for me, you!” Then flush it forcefully.

63、上课的区别：小学上课费嘴，初中上课费笔，高中上课费脑，大学上课费流量……
63. The difference between classes: Elementary school classes cost your mouth, junior high school classes cost your pen, high school classes cost your brain, and college classes cost your data…

64、一个人最长的恋爱史，大概就是自恋了…
64. The longest love story of a person is probably narcissism…

65、外遇和艳遇的区别在于，前者在一起了后者没有。
65. The difference between an affair and a romantic encounter is that the former happened while the latter didn’t.

66、天塌下来你顶着，我垫着！
66. If the sky falls, you hold it up, and I’ll cushion it!

67、废话是人际关系的第一句。
67. Nonsense is the first sentence of interpersonal relationships.

68、在傻瓜眼里，聪明人的聪明一文不值。
68. In the eyes of a fool, the intelligence of a smart person is worth nothing.

69、钱不是问题，问题是没钱！
69. Money is not a problem, the problem is having no money!

70、只要锄头舞的好，那有墙角挖不倒？
70. As long as you dance the hoe well, there’s no corner that can’t be dug down.

71、有钱男子汉，没钱汉子难。
71. Rich men are heroes, poor men are hard to be.

72、遇见喜欢的，就得主动犯个贱。
72. When you meet someone you like, you have to take the initiative to be cheap.

73、胖子的心声：嘴里很享受，心里很想瘦。
73. The inner voice of a fat person: Enjoying the mouth, wanting to be thin in the heart.

74、对女人不好的男人，下辈子都投胎做卫生巾去！
74. Men who treat women poorly will be reincarnated as sanitary pads in the next life!

75、我身在江湖，但江湖里却没有我的传说。
75. I am in the world of martial arts, but there are no legends about me in it.

76、自打我变成了一叠屎，就再也没有人敢踩在我头顶上啦。
76. Ever since I turned into a pile of shit, no one dares to step on my head anymore.

77、你的丑和你的脸没有关系。
77. Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face.

78、长得真有创意，活得真有勇气！
78. You look really creative and live with true courage!

79、早起的鸟儿有虫吃，早起的虫儿被鸟吃！
79. Early birds catch worms, but early worms get eaten by birds!

80、下辈子我还找你，因为除了我，你是最傻的。
80. In the next life, I will still find you, because besides me, you are the most foolish.

81、我视金钱为粪土，父母视我为化粪池！
81. I regard money as manure, and my parents regard me as a fertilizer spreader!

82、我有一条很酷的迷你裙，可惜我的腿不够迷你。
82. I have a cool mini skirt, but unfortunately, my legs aren’t mini enough.

83、猛的一看你不怎么样，仔细一看还不如猛的一看。
83. At first glance, you’re not impressive; upon closer inspection, you’re even less impressive.

84、别和我聊人生，和我聊生人吧！
84. Don’t talk to me about life, let’s talk about new people!

85、生命是充满遗憾的篇章，因为她没有机会让你修改病句。
85. Life is a chapter full of regrets, because there’s no chance for you to correct grammatical errors.

86、老婆持家太苦太累，所以老婆只一个是不够的！
86. It’s too hard and tiring for my wife to manage the household, so one wife is not enough!

87、突然想要个孩子了，你们谁帮我生一个？谢谢啦！
87. I suddenly want a child; can anyone help me have one? Thank you!

88、我的领带又找不到了，是不是你昨天又没有找到抹布？
88. I can’t find my tie again; did you not find a rag yesterday either?

89、不是每句对不起，都能换来没关系。
89. Not every “I’m sorry” can be exchanged for “It’s okay.”

90、舌头比牙齿更长寿，软件比硬件更加长久。
90. The tongue outlives the teeth, and software lasts longer than hardware.

91、开车无难事，只怕有新人。
91. There’s no difficulty in driving, except for new drivers.

92、爷爷都是从孙子走过来的。
92. Every grandfather was once a grandson.

93、当头晕的时候我终于明白了什么叫爱情。
93. When I feel dizzy, I finally understand what love is.

94、女人一哭，男人必输。
94. When a woman cries, a man is bound to lose.

95、天大地大，房子就是不降价。
95. The world is vast, but the price of a house never drops.

96、宁愿相信世间有鬼，也不相信男人那张破嘴！
96. I’d rather believe in ghosts than in a man’s broken mouth!

97、男人的谎言可以骗女人一夜，女人的谎言可以骗男人一生！
97. A man’s lie can deceive a woman for one night, while a woman’s lie can deceive a man for a lifetime!

98、也许似乎大概是，然而未必不见得。
98. Perhaps it seems probable, but it may not necessarily be the case.

99、一山不能容二虎，除非一公和一母。
99. One mountain cannot accommodate two tigers, unless it’s one male and one female.

100、我想早恋，但是已经晚了。
100. I wanted to have a puppy love, but it’s already too late.