1、我最大的缺点，就是缺点钱……
1. My biggest disadvantage is that I lack money…

2、铁杵能磨成针，但木杵只能磨成牙签，材料不对，再努力也没用。
2. An iron rod can be ground into a needle, but a wooden rod can only be ground into a toothpick; if the material is not right, no amount of effort will help.

3、青春献给了房子，中年献给了孩子。
3. Youth is dedicated to houses, and middle age is dedicated to children.

4、女追男，隔层纱。男追女，隔层妈。
4. When a girl chases a boy, there’s only a layer of gauze between them. When a boy chases a girl, there’s a layer of mom between them.

5、明月几时有。抬头自己瞅。
5. When will the bright moon appear? Just look up and see for yourself.

6、到了山顶才发现，错误的路和正确的路就差那么几步的距离。
6. Only when reaching the mountain top do I realize that the wrong path and the right path are just a few steps apart.

7、乐观者在灾祸中看到机会，悲观者在机会中看到灾祸。
7. Optimists see opportunities in disasters, while pessimists see disasters in opportunities.

8、生气是拿别人的错误来惩罚自己。
8. Getting angry is punishing oneself for someone else’s mistake.

9、没有钱，没有权，再不对你好点，你能跟我？
9. No money, no power, if I don’t treat you better, would you stay with me?

10、宁和明白人打一架，不跟SB说句话！
10. I’d rather have a fight with a sensible person than talk with a fool!

11、大女人不可一日无权，小女人不可一日无钱！
11. Strong women cannot go a day without power, and weak women cannot go a day without money!

12、不是我不笑，一笑粉就掉－－！
12. It’s not that I don’t smile, it’s just that when I smile, my makeup falls off --!

13、再难再苦，就当自己是二百五，再难再险，就当自己是二皮脸。
13. No matter how difficult or tough it is, just think of yourself as a fool, and when facing danger, think of yourself as shameless.

14、我的电话号码是，欢迎大家踊跃拨打。
14. My phone number is, everyone is welcome to call me.

15、有一个钥匙掉进粪坑，被染成了黄色，江湖上就叫他“东邪”……
15. A key fell into a dung pit and was dyed yellow, so people in the jianghu call him “Eastern Xie”…

16、在海边不要讲笑话，会引起“海笑”的。
16. Don’t tell jokes by the seaside, or it will cause a “sea laugh”.

17、好男人都去当和尚了，好女人都去当尼姑了，所以说：师太你就从了老衲吧。
17. Good men have become monks, and good women have become nuns, so saying: “Master Ni, please yield to me.”

18、你门所谓的公共场所，在我眼里只是厕所。
18. What you call public places are just toilets in my eyes.

19、其实我不猥琐，只是单纯的不明显。
19. Actually, I’m not indecent, it’s just that my innocence is not obvious.

20、世界是我们的，也是孩子们的，但最终是那帮孙子们的！
20. The world belongs to us and to the children, but in the end, it belongs to those little rascals!

21、别试图教猪唱歌，不但没有结果还惹猪不高兴！
21. Don’t try to teach a pig to sing; it won’t work and will only make the pig unhappy!

22、好想大睡一场，大玩一场，大吃一场，大笑一场，还有大哭一场。
22. I really want to have a good sleep, a good play, a big feast, a hearty laugh, and a good cry.

23、蓦然回首，身旁那人端着豆浆站在楼梯口。
23. Suddenly looking back, the person next to me is holding soy milk at the stairway entrance.

24、你要相信，相信我们会像童话故事里，青蛙和恐龙是结局。
24. You have to believe that we will end up like in a fairy tale, where frogs and dinosaurs have a happy ending.

25、真正的XX高手，全身上下无一不是武器，大江南北无一不是场地。
25. A true XX master has every part of their body as a weapon and every corner of the world as their field of play.

26、所谓网恋，就是传说中的一种可以取人贞操于千里之外的行为。
26. So-called online romance is a legendary act that can take someone’s chastity from a thousand miles away.

27、这个世界没有什么事情不可能发生的，就象李宇春都可以是女的一样，刘着可以是男的一样。
27. Nothing is impossible in this world, just like how Li Yuchun can be a woman and Liu Zhu can be a man.

28、红颜祸水本来是个并列性词语，红颜是指女人，祸水是指男人，红颜祸水其实是女人男人的意思。
28. The term “beautiful disaster” is originally a parallel phrase: “beautiful” refers to women, and “disaster” refers to men. “Beautiful disaster” actually means both women and men.

29、女人其实是一种极度危险的动物。她的美色与其说是保护色，不如说是警戒色。
29. Women are actually a highly dangerous species. Their beauty is more of a warning color than a protective one.

30、鲜花之所以会插在牛屎上，是因为牛屎很有营养。
30. The reason why fresh flowers are often found on cow dung is that cow dung is very nutritious.

31、世界上最衰的事就是：辐射没有了，盐也买多了！
31. The most miserable thing in the world is: the radiation is gone, but there’s too much salt.

32、哪天你死了，老娘烧座怡红院送你。
32. When you die someday, I’ll burn a brothel for you as a gift.

33、锄禾日当午，啥都不靠谱。闲来没事做，不如斗地主。
33. Hoeing the field under the midday sun, nothing is reliable. When bored with nothing to do, better to play Landlord.

34、再回首，那人已是孩子他爸。
34. Looking back again, that person has become a father.

35、白头偕老不是染个头发，打掉几颗牙的问题。
35. Growing old together is not just about dyeing hair and losing a few teeth.

36、考试不翻书，简直是头猪，做弊不要慌，逮到就要装。
36. Cheating on exams without looking at the book is like a pig; if caught cheating, just pretend to be calm.

37、这世上，满大街都是刘易阳他妈和童佳倩她妈。
37. Everywhere in this world, there are people pretending to be serious, so I have to pretend not to be serious.

38、别人都在假装正经，我只好假装不正经。
38. Smoking is a form of art in life; seeking a beating is an attitude in life.

39、抽，是一种生活艺术；找抽，是一种生活态度。
39. The highest level of work is watching others go to work and receiving their salaries.

40、工作的最高境界就是看着别人上班，领着别人的工资。
Please translate the above paragraphs (original text) into corresponding English (i.e., translation), with the translation conforming to English habits, maintaining the original numbers, punctuation, and tags. Check: The translation should be the same as the original meaning when translated back into the original language, if not, please re-translate without adding any additional explanations or descriptions, and only return the complete translation.

41、世界上只有一个刘易阳，可惜他在电视上。
41. There is only one Liu Yiyang in the world, but unfortunately, he is on TV.

42、鸳鸳相抱何时了，鸯在一边看热闹。
42. When will the mandarin ducks embrace each other, while the drake watches the excitement on the side?

43、你信不信我一巴掌把你拍墙上，扣都扣不下来！
43. Do you believe that I can slap you so hard that you’ll be stuck on the wall, unable to be removed?

44、哥看见装B的人总是莫莫的低下头，不是哥低调，而是哥在找砖头。
44. When I see someone acting arrogant, I always lower my head silently. It’s not because I’m low-key, but because I’m looking for a brick.

45、看着我的眼睛，除了眼屎，你还会看到坚毅和真诚。
45. Look into my eyes, and besides eye屎, you will see determination and sincerity.

46、我不是凹凸曼， 我没有他那么勇敢的能量。
46. I am not Ultraman; I don’t have his courageous energy.

47、熬夜，是因为没有勇气结束这一天；赖床，是因为没有勇气开始这一天。
47. Staying up late is because I don’t have the courage to end the day; staying in bed is because I don’t have the courage to start the day.

48、穷耐克，富阿迪，流氓一身阿玛尼。
48. Poor wear Nike, rich wear Adidas, and gangsters wear Armani.

49、哥吸烟，是因为它伤肺，不伤心。
49. I smoke because it hurts my lungs, not my heart.

50、平时骂你就算了，非要等我打你，才知道我文武双全
50. It’s okay to scold you normally, but you have to wait for me to hit you to know that I am both cultured and martial.

51、你把别人想得太复杂，是因为你也不简单。
51. You think others are too complicated because you are not simple either.

52、我不骂人，因为我动手能力比较强。
52. I don’t curse at people because I have strong动手能力 (ability to take action).

53、傻与不傻，要看你会不会装傻。
53. Whether you are stupid or not depends on whether you know how to pretend to be stupid.

54、对于姑娘来说：出来混，迟早是要怀的。
54. For girls: sooner or later, you will get pregnant when you’re out mixing.

55、众人寻她千百度，蓦然回首， 那人依旧对我不屑一顾……
55. Everyone searched for her thousands of times, but when they suddenly looked back, that person still disregarded me…

56、我喜欢的人，都在硬盘里。
56. The people I like are all in my hard drive.

57、青春啊，你太痘了！
57. Ah, youth, you are so full of acne!

58、多年的小萝莉还是熬成了祥林嫂……
58. After many years, the little loli has finally become Sister Xianglin…

59、咳！该说的说，不该说的小声说。
59. Cough! Say what should be said, and whisper what shouldn’t be said.

60、我建议大家对我的长相，理解为主，欣赏为辅。
60. I suggest that everyone should focus on understanding my appearance and take appreciation as a secondary aspect.

61、从天堂到地狱，哥只是路过人间。
61. From heaven to hell, I’m just passing through the world.

62、其实我很宅，只是宅在谁家里的问题。
62. Actually, I’m a homebody, it’s just a matter of whose home I’m staying in.

63、爷不是你的小浣熊，玩不出你的其乐无穷。
63. I’m not your little teddy bear, I can’t bring you endless joy.

64、人生苦短，必须性感。
64. Life is short, must be sexy.

65、上联：也许似乎大概是；下联：然而未必不见得。
65. Upper couplet: Maybe it seems to be; Lower couplet: However, it may not necessarily be so.

66、有些事情无须抬杠，表面服从偷偷反抗。
66. Some things don’t need to be argued, just superficially comply and secretly resist.

67、勇于认错，坚决不改。
67. Bravely admit mistakes, but resolutely not change.

68、男人是条狗，谁有本事谁牵走。
68. Men are like dogs, whoever has the ability can take them away.

69、一早醒来我以为我长大了，原来是被子盖横了。
69. I woke up early thinking I had grown up, but it turned out that my quilt was just covering me diagonally.

70、发怒一分钟便失去秒的幸福。
70. Losing your temper for a minute means losing (60) seconds of happiness.

71、有的男人聪明得像天气，多变。有的女人傻的像天气预报，变天她都看不出来。
71. Some men are as clever as the weather, ever-changing. Some women are as foolish as weather forecasts, they can’t tell when the weather changes.

72、多少年了，我家的马桶圈都从没掀起来过！
72. For so many years, the toilet seat in my house has never been lifted!

73、一想到今年后的小妞都可以合法嫁人了，姐的鸭梨更大了！
73. Thinking about how the young girls this year will be able to get married legally, my pressure is even greater!

74、要不是老师说不能乱扔垃圾，不然偶早把你扔出去。
74. If the teacher didn’t say not to litter, I would have thrown you out long ago.

75、爷爷都是从孙子走过来的。
75. Grandfathers were once grandsons.

76、你复杂的五官，掩饰不了你朴素的智商。
76. Your complex facial features cannot cover up your simple intelligence.

77、每个成功的男人背后，都会有一个吃饱了没事做的女人。
77. Behind every successful man, there is a woman who has nothing to do but eat and get full.

78、即使你已名花有主我也要移花接木……
78. Even if you already have a partner, I still want to steal you away.

79、人要脸，树要皮，电线杆子要水泥。
79. People need faces, trees need bark, and utility poles need cement.

80、忍无可忍，就重新再忍。
80. When patience is exhausted, just start tolerating again.

81、挂个蚊帐在里面裸睡，挑逗蚊子，把它急死。
81. Sleep naked inside a mosquito net and tease the mosquitoes, driving them crazy.

82、每个成功的奥特曼背后，都有一个默默挨打的小怪兽。
82. Behind every successful Ultraman, there is a little monster silently getting beaten up.

83、两情若是久长时，还不结婚待何时。
83. If love lasts long, why wait to get married?

84、所谓门槛，过去了是门，过不去则是槛。
84. What’s the difference between a threshold and a barrier? It’s all about whether you can step over it or not.

85、你不是VIP，甚至不是V，你丫只是个P。
85. You’re not a VIP, not even a V, you’re just a P.

86、別人都以为在我低头沉思，其事 我看着地上这一毛该不该捡。
86. People think I’m deep in thought when I lower my head, but in fact, I’m just wondering whether I should pick up this penny on the ground.

87、一时兴起，拿你的照片做桌面，TMD居然中了电脑病毒。
87. On a whim, I set your photo as my desktop wallpaper, and damn it, my computer got a virus.

88、如果我的人生是一部电影，你就是那弹出来的广告。
88. If my life were a movie, you would be the ad that pops up.

89、你要是鲜花，以后牛都不敢拉屎了。
89. If you were a flower, cows would be too scared to poop.

90、大便的离去，是马桶的追求，还是屁股的不挽留。
90. The departure of poop is it the pursuit of the toilet or the reluctance of the buttocks to let go?

91、都说姐漂亮，其实都是妆出来的。
91. Everyone says I’m beautiful, but it’s all thanks to makeup.

92、小鸟虽小，可它玩的确是整个天空。
92. Although a bird may be small, it plays with the entire sky.

93、唐僧再厉害，也不过是个耍猴的。
93. No matter how great Tang Seng is, he’s just a monkey tamer.

94、本想优雅转身，不幸华丽撞墙。
94. I wanted to turn around gracefully, but unfortunately, I hit the wall with flair.

95、睡姿决定发型，从今天开始，我要在家研究睡姿与发型的关系。
95. The sleeping position determines the hairstyle. From today on, I will study the relationship between sleeping positions and hairstyles at home.

96、坐别人的车走自己的路。
96. Ride in other people’s cars and walk your own path.

97、睡着睡着，就睡出了理想和口水。
97. Sleeping and sleeping, I dream of ideals and drool.

98、我有一条很酷的迷你裙，可惜我的腿不够迷你。
98. I have a very cool mini skirt, but unfortunately, my legs are not mini enough.

99、我的青春欠我一千万，所以在没还清这笔钱之前，我是不会放过它的。
99. My youth owes me ten million, so before I get the money back, I won’t let it go.

100、原本想一口一口吃掉忧愁，不料却一口一口吃成胖子。
100. I wanted to eat my worries away one bite at a time, but unexpectedly, I became a fat person one bite at a time.