1.我每天早上都是被自己帅醒的。
1. I wake up every morning because of my own handsomeness.

2.今天我走在路上,有几个女生说我长得帅,我笑了笑,没有承认。他们就用砖头砸我,说我虚伪! 
2. Today, I was walking on the street when a few girls told me I was handsome. I just smiled and didn’t admit it. They started throwing bricks at me, calling me hypocritical!

3.我就奇怪了,为什么总有人说我帅呢,烦死啦!
3. I just don’t get it, why do people always say I’m handsome? It’s so annoying!

4.每当照镜子,我都会说一句:我靠,又他妈帅了。
4. Every time I look in the mirror, I say to myself: Damn, I’m handsome again.

5.如果帅能当饭吃,本帅能养活三十亿人。
5. If handsomeness could be eaten, I could feed three billion people.

6.哥一直在被追赶,但从未被超越!
6. I’ve always been chased, but never surpassed!

7.今天在商场遇到一帅哥,帅的不要不要的,就连我一男的都忍不住盯着他看,他也看着我,我寻思交个朋友,厚着脸皮走了过去,哎哟,我去!居然是面镜子。
7. Today, I saw a handsome guy in the mall, so handsome that even I, a guy, couldn’t help staring at him. He looked back at me, and I thought I’d make a friend. I mustered up the courage to walk over, and oh my! It was just a mirror.

8.如果有来生,我希望我别再那么帅了,普通点好。
8. If there’s an afterlife, I hope I’m not that handsome anymore, just be ordinary.

9.没有我的帅气,人类靠什么活下去啊!
9. Without my handsomeness, what would humanity rely on to survive?

10.虽然我很帅, 但是我很低调!
10. Although I’m handsome, I keep a low profile!

11.世界上最遥远的距离不是生与死,而是你看着本帅哥的照片却不知道本帅哥在哪。
11. The longest distance in the world is not between life and death, but when you look at a photo of this handsome guy and don’t know where he is.

12.不行,我要努力学习,不想被别人说我靠帅气生存。
12. I must study hard, I don’t want people to say I’m living off my handsomeness.

13.帅是天意,酷是人为。
13. Being handsome is a gift, being cool is by choice.

14.除了长得帅以外就没什么缺点了,为什么!!快告诉我为什么!!我怎么可以那么优秀!
14. Apart from being handsome, I have no other flaws. Why?! Tell me why?! How can I be that excellent?

15.你说我长相是假,还说我给你的钱也是假,我告诉你我可以容忍你说的钱是假,就是容忍不了你说我的长相有问题。
15. You say my looks are fake, and that the money I gave you is also fake. I can tolerate you saying the money is fake, but I can’t stand you questioning my appearance.

16.有一天我对着天大吼:我不帅!!老天听了,一个雷批下来,谁叫你撒谎的?
16. One day, I shouted at the sky: I’m not handsome!! God heard me, and a lightning bolt struck down. Who told you to lie?

17.长得帅不是我的错,你喜欢我就是你自己的问题了。
17. Being handsome is not my fault, but if you like me, that’s your own problem.

18.今天天气不错是个出去释放帅气的好日子。
18. The weather is nice today, it’s a great day to go out and unleash my handsomeness.

19.上次一女孩问我,你长这么大追过几个靓女?我告诉她一个也没有,旁边我一个朋友把实话说给那女孩,一般都是靓女追他,女孩当时就昏过去了
19. A girl once asked me how many beautiful women I’ve chased in my life. I told her none, and a friend of mine told the truth to the girl - usually, it’s the beautiful women who chase him. The girl fainted on the spot.

21.人见人爱,花见花开,车见车爆胎。
21. Beloved by all, admired by flowers, and cars burst tires upon seeing me.

22.号称一朵梨花压海棠,人送绰号上天下地无所不能玉面小飞龙,英俊与智慧的化身,侠义与仁义的糅合,前辈高人巨侠是也。
22. Known as a pear blossom that outshines the begonia, people call me the unparalleled, talented, and handsome Little Jade Dragon, a perfect combination of chivalry, righteousness, and wisdom. I am a senior master and hero.

23.本人外形俊朗、眉清目秀、玉树临风、有明星作风,首批通过国际级ISO帅哥体系认证,小提示;该签名美女值得留意。
23. I have a handsome appearance, clear eyebrows, bright eyes, and a star-like demeanor. I am one of the first to pass the international ISO handsome man certification. Small reminder: this signature beauty is worth paying attention to.

24.我长得天下无双,英俊洒脱。
24. My appearance is unparalleled and handsome.

25.李玟追我追了三条街,谢停疯昨天看见我后,立即宣布要在九月份退出演艺圈。!不为别的,就是因为我长得实在是太帅了……
25. Lee Wen chased me for three streets, and Xie Tingfeng announced yesterday that he would quit the entertainment industry in September after seeing me. Not for anything else, but because I am just too handsome…

26.哎!为什么比我帅的人到现在我还没见到呢?
26. Sigh! Why haven’t I seen anyone more handsome than me yet?

27.我跑到珠穆朗玛峰,对着天空大声地说:“我不帅!”突然,天空雷声响起:一道闪电击中了我!!上帝愤怒地说:“再敢说谎我劈死你!!!”
27. I ran to Mount Everest and shouted to the sky, “I’m not handsome!” Suddenly, thunder roared, and a lightning bolt struck me! God angrily said, “If you dare to lie again, I’ll strike you dead!”

28.号称一朵梨花压海棠,人送绰号上天下地无所不能玉面小飞龙,英俊与智慧的化身,侠义与仁义的糅合,前辈高人巨侠是也。
28. Known as a pear blossom that outshines the begonia, people call me the unparalleled, talented, and handsome Little Jade Dragon, a perfect combination of chivalry, righteousness, and wisdom. I am a senior master and hero.

29.像我这么帅的人,一旷课就马上被老师发现。
29. When a handsome person like me skips class, the teacher notices immediately.

30.你们不要老吵着要礼物要礼物的,遇见我就是上帝给你最好的礼物。
30. Don’t always clamor for gifts; meeting me is the best gift God has given you.

31.我要好好努力,要不然别人会说我除了长得好看之外一无是处。
31. I must work hard, or others will say I’m good for nothing but my looks.

32.我越来越羡慕我的同桌,因为她有一个英俊且潇洒,声音低沉且性感,风流倜傥,无私散播欢笑和爱的同桌,不像我的同桌,蠢的像一只瓜田里的猹。
32. I’m increasingly envious of my deskmate because she has a handsome, dashing, deep-voiced, sexy, and charming deskmate who selflessly spreads joy and love. Unlike my deskmate, who is as stupid as a melon field hare.

33.靠近我之前你可想清楚了,我除了一身的帅气之外可什么都没有。
33. Before approaching me, make sure you’ve thought it through, because I have nothing but handsomeness.

34.有时候被自己帅哭有时候被自己萌晕我活的好累。
34. Sometimes I’m moved to tears by my own handsomeness, and sometimes I’m charmed by my own cuteness. Life is so tiring.

35.凭什么我没有一个帅得惊世骇俗的同桌,而我同桌却有。
35. Why don’t I have a deskmate who is shockingly handsome, while my deskmate has one?

36.每次我一个人走夜路都好害怕,天这么黑,我这么帅,真怕别人看不见啊。
36. Every time I walk alone at night, I’m scared. The sky is so dark, and I’m so handsome that I’m afraid others won’t see me.

37.刚坐公车上,一小萝莉在我的背后拿根魔杖玩,她拿着魔杖指着我的后背,我要把你变成世界上最帅的男人。我听完笑了,转身过去就听到一声惊叫,妈妈,妈妈,我会魔法了!
37. Just now on the bus, a little girl played with a magic wand behind me. She pointed the wand at my back and said, “I want to turn you into the world’s most handsome man.” I laughed after hearing this, turned around, and then heard a scream, “Mommy, mommy, I can do magic now!”

38.有人问我真的不想谈场恋爱吗,其实我不是不想,是不敢,记得我初中那一年,喜欢上了一女生只告诉了我最好的朋友,谁知道第二天整个学校都知道了,然后我们学校陆续有三百多个女生爬上楼顶闹自杀,从那之后我就知道,我注定要单身一辈子了。
38. Someone asked if I really don’t want to have a romantic relationship. In fact, I don’t dare, because when I was in junior high, I liked a girl and only told my best friend. The next day, the whole school knew, and more than 300 girls in our school climbed to the rooftop to threaten suicide. Since then, I knew I was destined to be single for life.

39.外面超多情侣,我害怕,我一出现,他们就后悔自己已经有女朋友了。
39. There are so many couples outside, and I’m scared. As soon as I appear, they’ll regret having girlfriends.

40.干干净净没有故事,一个帅字贯穿一生。
40. Clean and without stories, the word “handsome” runs through my entire life.

41.你说陈奕迅唱歌不好,你可以上网查查他飚高音多少秒,你说BIGBANG靠脸火的,你可以看看一首loser打破多少记录,你说贾斯汀比伯吸毒嫖娼,你去看看地震时他捐多少钱,你说黄家驹去世了不火了,你走上大街却仍可以听到唱响几十年的光辉岁月,你说我帅的一塌糊涂,抱歉,我实在找不到理由反驳你。
41. If you say Eason Chan can’t sing well, you can search online for how many seconds he can hit high notes. If you say BIGBANG is famous for their looks, you can check how many records “Loser” has broken. If you say Justin Bieber takes drugs and solicits prostitutes, you can see how much he donated during the earthquake. If you say Wong Ka Kui is not popular after his death, you can still hear the decades-long popular “Glorious Years” on the streets. If you say I’m incredibly handsome, I’m sorry, I can’t find a reason to argue with you.

42.我曾经参加过一次世界性的撒谎比赛,并得了第一名,因为我说了一句“我不帅”。
42. I once participated in a global lying competition and won first place because I said, “I’m not handsome.”

43.有人亲薛之谦,大家愤怒了。有人亲权志龙,大家生气了。有人亲杨洋,大家恼火。有人亲我,估计第三次世界大战要开始了
43. When someone kisses Xue Zhiqian, everyone gets angry. When someone kisses Kwon Ji-yong, everyone gets upset. When someone kisses Yang Yang, everyone gets annoyed. When someone kisses me, I guess World War III is about to begin.

44.有人说我长得帅,我笑了,结果他们说我笑起来更帅。
44. Someone said I was handsome, and I laughed. As a result, they said I looked even more handsome when I smiled.

45.经常被自己帅到双眼迷离,又不能亲自己。
45. Often being so handsome that I’m dazed by my own appearance, but I can’t kiss myself.

46.答应我不要把我超帅这件事告诉别人。
46. Promise me not to tell anyone about me being super handsome.

47.你们怎么说我帅都行,我不介意,但是别扯上我朋友,不关他们的事,他们只是一群无辜的傻狍子。
47. You can say I’m handsome, I don’t mind, but don’t involve my friends, it’s nothing to do with them, they’re just a group of innocent fools.

48.不要因为长得丑就自卑,比如我,长得帅也没骄傲阿。
48. Don’t feel inferior because you’re ugly, like me, being handsome doesn’t make me arrogant.

49.我蛮佩服居里夫人的,她没有被自己的美丽所干扰,而是沉浸在科学事业中,像我肯定不行的,经常被自己帅晕。
49. I really admire Madame Curie, she wasn’t distracted by her beauty and immersed herself in her scientific career. I definitely couldn’t do that, often being dazed by my own handsomeness.

50.我知道我很帅但是真的有点帅过头了。
50. I know I’m handsome, but it’s really a bit too much.

51.有人说我帅,我怒了,我又聪明又勇敢又机智又善良又体贴又温柔又可爱又大方有气质。你他妈只讲我帅?
51. Someone said I was handsome, and I got angry. I’m smart, brave, witty, kind, considerate, gentle, lovely, generous, and have temperament. Why did you only mention my handsomeness, you a**hole?

52.当帅哥很痛苦的,你们这些奇形怪状是不会懂的。
52. Being a handsome guy is painful, you weirdos wouldn’t understand.

53.百度一下:有木有比我更帅的人?结果显示:对不起,无法找到。
53. Search on Baidu: Are there any people more handsome than me? The result shows: Sorry, unable to find.

54.帅到被通辑。
54. Handsome enough to be wanted.

55.见到我以后你会突然发现——啊,原来帅也可以这样具体!
55. After seeing me, you’ll suddenly realize - ah, it turns out that handsome can be so specific!

56.等我不帅了就删了这条说说。
56. When I’m no longer handsome, I’ll delete this post.

57.觉得生活没意思了,活不下去了,拿起镜子,看看自己,那么帅那么美的一张脸,舍得辜负,舍得糟蹋吗。
57. Feeling life is boring and unbearable, pick up a mirror, look at your handsome and beautiful face, can you bear to disappoint and waste it?

58.我曾经参加过一次世界撒谎比赛,并得了第一名,因为我说了一句:我不帅!
58. I once participated in a global lying competition and won first place because I said: I’m not handsome!

59.每次走在街上总感觉我背后的人在说我帅。
59. Every time I walk on the street, I always feel like people behind me are saying I’m handsome.

60.成绩排名这东西,你丑你先排,我帅我随意。
60. The ranking of grades, you ugly ones go first, I’m handsome and I can do whatever I want.

61.如果帅是一种错,那么我愿意一错再错。
61. If being handsome is a mistake, then I’m willing to make the same mistake over and over again.

62.犀利的门牙,粗短的小腿,帅气的头型,他就是美貌与智慧并存,帅气与勇敢同行的完美结晶某某某。
62. With sharp incisors, short and thick legs, and a handsome hairstyle, he is the perfect combination of beauty and wisdom, handsomeness and bravery: someone.

63.帅的想毁容!
63. So handsome that one would want to disfigure him!

64.人见人爱,花见花开,车见爆胎。哥一直在被追赶,但从未被超越过。
64. Everyone loves him, flowers bloom at the sight of him, and cars burst tires when they see him. I’ve always been chased, but never surpassed.

65.李玟追我追了三条街,谢霆锋昨天看见我后,立即宣布要在月份退出演艺圈!不为别的,就是因为我长得实在是太帅了……
65. Li Wen chased me for three blocks, and when Nicholas Tse saw me yesterday, he immediately announced that he would quit the entertainment industry in the coming month! All because I am just too handsome…

66.有一天,仙女对我说:帅哥,我嫁给你吧。
66. One day, a fairy said to me: “Handsome man, let me marry you.”

67.一个不帅男人的标志是他愿意为自己的不帅英勇地死去,一个帅男人的标志是他愿意为自己的帅而卑贱地活着,所以,至今我还为自己的帅坚强的活着。
67. The mark of an unhandsome man is that he is willing to die bravely for his unattractiveness; the mark of a handsome man is that he is willing to live despicably for his handsomeness. Therefore, I am still living strongly for my handsomeness.

68.人见人爱,花见花开,车见爆胎。 哥一直在被追赶,但从未被超越过。
68. Everyone loves him, flowers bloom at the sight of him, and cars burst tires when they see him. I’ve always been chased, but never surpassed.

69.啦啦啦,人见人爱,鸟见鸟呆,风靡万千少女,刺激帅哥市场,挽救无数失足少年,一支梨花压海棠…
69. La la la, everyone loves him, birds are stunned at the sight of him, he captivates thousands of girls, stimulates the handsome men market, saves countless wayward youths, a pear blossom suppresses the begonia…

70.有一天我对着天大吼:我不帅,老天听了,一个雷批下来,谁叫你撒谎的?
70. One day I shouted at the sky: “I am not handsome!” The heavens heard, and a thunderbolt struck down. Who told you to lie?

71.少年坐在盛开的樱花树下,头发黑玉般有淡淡的光泽,脖颈处的肌肤细致如美瓷。一阵微风,花瓣轻盈飘落,晶莹如雪,细细碎碎,仿佛听到了她的脚步声,少年轻轻侧转回头来。
71. The young man sat under the blooming cherry tree, his hair as dark as black jade with a faint luster, the skin on his neck as delicate as fine porcelain. A gentle breeze blew, and petals fell lightly, crystal-like snow, fine and fragmented, as if hearing her footsteps, the young man gently turned his head.

72.世界最短武侠小说:高手被豆腐砸死了。我因为帅被女人抢死了!
72. The world’s shortest martial arts novel: The master was killed by a tofu hit. I was killed by women for being handsome!

73.帅到,走在街上开车的人看了都会发生交通事故,汽车追尾;路人看了都有迷倒晕倒~~
73. So handsome that people driving on the street would have traffic accidents, cars rear-ending each other; pedestrians would be charmed and faint upon seeing him.

74.为人不识沈帅帅,被人打死也不怪;读书不读沈帅帅,读到博士也失败。
74. If you don’t know the handsomeness of Shen Shuai, it’s no wonder you get beaten to death; if you don’t read about Shen Shuai, even having a Ph.D. is a failure.

75.我又对着镜子仔细照了照,对我这长相真正放心,实在挑不出一点毛病来。
75. I looked at myself in the mirror again and felt reassured about my appearance, unable to find any flaws.

76.上学时,老师讲到“帅”的含义我百思不得其解,这时同学递过来一面镜子我一照,刹那间我明白了。
76. When I was in school, I couldn’t understand the meaning of “handsome” when the teacher talked about it. At that moment, a classmate handed me a mirror, and I instantly understood.

77.帅不仅仅是男人的痛苦,也是女人的痛苦…我孤老终身…因为…所有的MM都自认为配不上我…帅人从不说自己帅,帅人要抓紧时间作帅的样子。
77. Handsome is not only a pain for men but also for women… I will die alone… because… all the girls think they are not worthy of me… A handsome man never says he is handsome; a handsome man should make the most of his time to look handsome.

78.后记:我死后我千万年,后人类诞生,他们将我的骸骨还原,葬在北极,在我的墓碑上空,终年漂浮着一片云彩,变幻来变幻去,只有一个字:帅…
78. Postscript: After I die for millions of years, the human race will be born again, and they will reconstruct my skeleton and bury it in the Arctic. Above my tomb, a cloud will float all year round, changing constantly, with only one word: handsome…

79.如果帅是一种罪,那我已经罪恶滔天;如果酷是一种错,那我已经一错再错;如果聪明也要受刑罚,那我岂不是要遭千刀万剐?
79. If handsomeness is a sin, then I have committed a heinous crime; if being cool is a mistake, then I have made repeated mistakes; if intelligence is also punishable, then shouldn’t I be chopped into a thousand pieces?

80.有一天,我上街,突然一群人把我围住。指着说我帅,我说我不帅,他们就打我,还说我虚伪。
80. One day, I went out on the street, and suddenly a group of people surrounded me. They pointed at me and said I was handsome. I said I wasn’t handsome, so they hit me and called me hypocritical.

81.有次我走到街上,一群美女拦住我,问我:“你帅吗?”我说:“我不帅!”回应的是五个火辣辣的手指印,然后她们就一起上来打我,边打还边骂我虚伪。
81. Once I was walking on the street when a group of beautiful women stopped me, asking: “Are you handsome?” I said: “I am not handsome!” In response, they slapped me with five fiery fingers and then beat me up, scolding me for being hypocritical.

82.过年有个人送我一幅对联,上联:看背影迷煞千军万马下联:转过头女生爱得跳楼横批:帅呀帅啊!
82. During the New Year, someone gave me a couplet as a gift. Upper couplet: The back view is so mesmerizing that it could lead to the downfall of thousands of soldiers and horses. Lower couplet: When turning around, girls fall in love so deeply that they would jump off buildings. Horizontal scroll: So handsome, so handsome!

83.我怎么可以这么帅,帅的不敢出门,我怕一出门所有的男人、男生都会失恋。
83. How can I be this handsome? I dare not go out, for fear that all the men and boys will feel heartbroken as soon as they see me.

84.我照镜子的时候,也常常被自己的容貌吓一跳呢!(或者迷住呢)
84. Even when I look in the mirror, I am often startled (or captivated) by my own appearance.

85.诶~你没看见吗,当我拿出这张照片后太阳更辣了,小草更绿了,花儿更红了,就连小鸟也更欢喜了耶。
85. Hey, don’t you see? When I show this photo, the sun becomes hotter, the grass greener, the flowers redder, and even the birds become happier.

86.最富有才华,英俊潇洒。玉树临风。风流倜傥。高大威猛。人称:山崩地裂,水倒流,鬼见愁,美貌与智慧结合,英雄与侠义化身,人见人爱,花见花开,车见车爆胎。
86. The most talented, handsome and elegant. Like a graceful tree in the wind. Charming and debonair. Tall and mighty. Known as: causing mountains to collapse and rivers to flow backward, terrifying ghosts, a combination of beauty and wisdom, a hero and chivalrous incarnation, loved by all, admired by all, and making cars burst tires.

87.这个世界,因为有我的存在,所以令天地都黯然失色。
87. The world becomes dull because of my existence, overshadowing the heavens and the earth.

88.每当我想到自己帅的前无古人,后无来者,不禁怆然而涕下。
88. Whenever I think of my unparalleled handsomeness throughout history, I can’t help but feel sad and shed tears.

89.都说我像周润发,其实我像刘德华。
89. People say I look like Chow Yun-fat, but actually, I look more like Andy Lau.

90.帅气是一种信仰,我是一杆飘扬在最前方的旗帜让那些小丑,无地自容。
90. Handsomeness is a belief, and I am a flag flying at the forefront, making those clowns feel ashamed.

91.潘安宋玉见我就无地自容!自毁容貌!双双自尽!我帅的无敌!
91. Pan An and Song Yu would feel ashamed in my presence! They would destroy their own appearance and commit suicide together! I am invincible in handsomeness!

92.潇洒是我本性,帅是命中注定。
92. Being elegant is my nature, and being handsome is my destiny.

93.这个世界上只有两种人,一种是觉得我帅的人,另外一种是没见过我的人……
93. There are only two kinds of people in this world: one is those who think I am handsome, and the other is those who have not seen me yet…

94.下辈子我一定当个女人,嫁给我这样长得帅的好男人。
94. In my next life, I must be a woman and marry a handsome man like myself.

95.知道每天早上我都是怎么醒的吗?被自己帅醒的。
95. Do you know how I wake up every morning? I am awakened by my own handsomeness.

96.曾经一个MM问我:你觉得自己长得帅么?我说:不帅。结果那MM哭着说:我骗她。
96. Once, a girl asked me: Do you think you are handsome? I said: Not handsome. As a result, the girl cried and said that I was lying to her.

97.连风都为我赞叹,连明月都为我祈祷,连太阳都为我喝彩的世界超级超级帅的帅哥。
97. Even the wind praises me, the bright moon prays for me, and the sun cheers for me, the world’s super handsome guy.

98.我帅到屎都会香!花儿也会臭!
98. I am so handsome that even feces would smell sweet, and flowers would stink!

99.我怎么可以这么帅,帅的不敢出门,我怕一出门所有的男人、男生都会失恋。
99. How can I be this handsome? I dare not go out, for fear that all the men and boys will feel heartbroken as soon as they see me.

100.世界最短武侠小说:高手被豆腐砸死了。我因为帅被女人抢死了!
100. The world’s shortest martial arts novel: A master was killed by a tofu hit. I was killed by women fighting over me because of my handsomeness!

101.根据“英俊有罪法案”,我已被判处有期徒刑一万年(中国取消了死刑)。
101. According to the “Handsomeness is a Crime Act,” I have been sentenced to 10,000 years in prison (China has abolished the death penalty).

102.长得帅不是我的错,你喜欢我就是你自己的问题了。
102. It’s not my fault that I’m handsome; if you like me, that’s your own issue.

103.受不了了,我承受了太多我这个年纪不应该有的帅气,我好累。
103. I can’t take it anymore; I’ve been burdened with too much handsomeness for my age, and I’m exhausted.

104.某一天,我照了照镜子,完了发现,我竟然爱上了我自己!帅的太惨绝人寰了!
104. One day, I looked in the mirror and realized that I had fallen in love with myself! My handsomeness is simply unparalleled!

105.我帅的让土豆不想更新,想跟我搞基。
105. My handsomeness makes potatoes not want to update, and they want to be friends with benefits with me.

106.老婆说我很丑,可是我不这么认为,因为她和我在一起后,她说怎么张东健那么丑。
106. My wife says I’m ugly, but I don’t think so because after being with me, she said how ugly Jang Dong-gun is.

107.看到本帅的光芒了吗?当全世界都关灯了,剩下的那些光都是本帅发出来的。
107. See the light of my handsomeness? When the whole world turns off the lights, the remaining light is all emitted by me.

108.让我偷偷的告诉你,其实我很帅!
108. Let me secretly tell you that I’m actually very handsome!

109.每天我都不断刷新一项新的世界记录,那就是——我在世界上保持最帅的记录。
109. Every day, I keep breaking a new world record, which is - I maintain the record for being the most handsome in the world.

110.见到我以后你会突然发现——原来帅也可以这样具体呀!
110. After meeting me, you will suddenly find out that handsomeness can be so specific!

111.美丽这个形容词简时是为我而造的!
111. The adjective “beautiful” was simply created for me!

112.每当看到镜子里的我,我心里总是会涌出一股想立马跪下膜拜的冲动。
112. Every time I see myself in the mirror, I always feel an urge to kneel down and worship immediately.

113.有一天我对着天大吼:我不帅!老天听了,一个雷批下来,谁叫你撒谎的?
113. One day, I shouted at the sky: I’m not handsome! God heard it, and a lightning bolt struck down. Who told you to lie?

114.如果帅可以当饭吃,那我的帅可以让全世界再也不用种粮了!
114. If handsomeness could be eaten, my handsomeness could feed the entire world without needing to plant any more grain!

115.他们都说我帅呆了!我却不以为然在我看来没有人比我帅我是最帅!
115. They all say I’m stunningly handsome! I don’t think so, though. In my opinion, no one is more handsome than me; I am the most handsome!

116.今天去医院,经过五官科时,医生拉我进去监察,左监察,右监察,最后医生在我的病历上写了一个大大的--帅!
116. Today, when I went to the hospital and passed the facial features department, the doctor pulled me in for an examination. After examining me left and right, the doctor wrote a big “handsome” in my medical record!

117.上学时,老师讲到“帅”的含义我百思不得其解,这时同学递过来一面镜子我一照,刹那间我明白了。
117. When I was in school, I couldn’t understand the meaning of “handsome.” Then a classmate handed me a mirror, and I instantly understood. Handsome can be described so specifically.

118.我也就是全国妇联推荐好男人,三八国际妇女节指定用品,通过国际质量体系认证,中华人民共和国荣誉帅哥!
118. I am also a recommended good man by the National Women’s Federation, a designated product for International Women’s Day, certified by international quality system, and an honorary handsome man of the People’s Republic of China!

119.唯心主义说:“我说你帅,你就是帅。”唯物主义说:“因为你帅,所以我说你帅。”总而言之一句话——-我就是帅。
119. Idealism says: “If I say you’re handsome, you are handsome.” Materialism says: “Because you’re handsome, I say you’re handsome.” In a word, I am handsome.

120.据说,我出生时,天空的北方,出现祥云一片,渐渐由远至近,飘到我家房顶后,幻化成一个字:帅。
120. It is said that when I was born, there was a auspicious cloud in the northern sky, gradually getting closer and closer, until it floated to the roof of my house and transformed into a single character: handsome.

121.小时候我不懂什么叫帅,问我同桌,结果她递给我一面镜子,我瞬时明白帅的真谛,原来帅可以形容的这么具体。
121. When I was young, I didn’t understand what handsome meant. I asked my deskmate, and she handed me a mirror. I instantly understood the true meaning of handsome. It can be described so specifically.

122.我其实不怎么帅,只是隔壁的小妹为我喝了敌敌畏。楼上的大妈为我参加奥运会。走在街上害怕狗崽队。我真的想问帅是一种罪?
122. I’m not really handsome, it’s just that the girl next door drank pesticide for me. The lady upstairs participates in the Olympics for me. I’m afraid of paparazzi when walking on the street. Do I really want to ask if being handsome is a crime?

123.我死后我千万年,后人类诞生,他们将我的骸骨还原,葬在北极,在我的墓碑上空,终年漂浮着一片云彩,变幻来变幻去,只有一个字:帅…
123. After I die for millions of years, and humans are born, they will reconstruct my skeleton, bury it in the Arctic, and above my tomb, there will always be a cloud floating in the sky, changing constantly, with only one word: handsome…

124.你们一定要好好读书,不要像我一样,靠着一张帅气的脸混吃混喝。
124. You must study hard and not be like me, relying on my handsome face to get by.

125.今天天气不错是个出去释放帅气的好日子。
125. The weather is nice today, making it a good day to go out and unleash my handsomeness.

126.像我这种帅气的人,你们除了惯着也只能惯着。
126. For someone as handsome as me, all you can do is indulge me.

127.除了长得帅以外就没什么缺点了,为什么!快告诉我为什么!我怎么可以那么优秀!
127. Apart from being handsome, I have no other flaws. Why! Tell me why! How can I be so excellent!

128.夏天的蚊子我警告你,别动我那帅气的脸庞。
128. Summer mosquitoes, I warn you, don’t touch my handsome face.

129.见到我以后你会突然发现——啊,原来帅也可以这样具体!
129. After meeting me, you will suddenly realize - ah, it turns out that handsomeness can be so specific!

130.考试成绩可以拉开我们的距离,但是永远改变不了我比你帅的事实。
130. Test scores can create distance between us, but they can never change the fact that I am more handsome than you.

131.侧身睡的话,天花板会不会因为见不到我帅气的脸而气塌。
131. If I sleep on my side, will the ceiling collapse from not seeing my handsome face?

132.这辈子最大最大的遗憾,就是无法亲到自己这张帅气的脸。
132. The biggest regret of my life is that I can’t kiss my own handsome face.

133.真羡慕你们,这么小就认识了才华出众帅气逼人的我。
133. I envy you all, getting to know such a talented, handsome, and charming me at such a young age.

134.我越来越羡慕我的同桌,因为她有一个英俊且潇洒,声音低沉且性感,风流倜傥,无私散播欢笑和爱的同桌,不像我的同桌,蠢的像一只瓜田里的猹。
134. I’m increasingly envious of my deskmate because she has a handsome, elegant, deep-voiced, sexy, and selfless同桌 who spreads joy and love, unlike my deskmate, who is as stupid as a weasel in a melon field.

135.有人亲薛之谦,大家愤怒了。有人亲权志龙,大家生气了。有人亲杨洋,大家恼火。有人亲我,估计第三次世界大战要开始了。
135. When someone kisses薛之谦, everyone gets angry. When someone kisses 权志龙, everyone gets upset. When someone kisses 杨洋, everyone gets annoyed. If someone kisses me, I guess World War III would break out.

136.有人说我帅,我想了一晚上也没想出来究竟是谁走漏了风声。
136. Someone said I was handsome, and I thought about it all night but couldn’t figure out who leaked the news.

137.我蛮佩服居里夫人的,她没有被自己的美丽所干扰,而是沉浸在科学事业中,像我肯定不行的,经常被自己帅晕。
137. I really admire Madame Curie. She wasn’t distracted by her beauty and immersed herself in her scientific career. I wouldn’t be able to do that; I often get dazzled by my own handsomeness.

138.像我这么帅的人,一旷课就马上被老师发现。
138. As handsome as I am, the moment I skip class, the teacher notices right away.

139.世界上最遥远的距离不是生与死,而是你看着本帅哥的照片却不知道本帅哥在哪。
139. The farthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but when you look at a handsome guy’s photo and don’t know where he is.

140.一直承受着这个年纪不该有的帅气,好累。
140. I’ve always had to bear the handsomeness that I shouldn’t have at my age, and it’s so tiring.

141.刚刚一个特别帅的帅哥在我面前,我们相视了很久,谁都没有打破这份平静直到手累,我才慢慢放下了镜子。
141. Just now, an exceptionally handsome guy was in front of me, and we stared at each other for a long time. No one broke the silence until my arm got tired, and I slowly put down the mirror.

142.那个时候我没有什么才华,就单凭长得帅,所以那个时候,喜欢我的人还挺肤浅的,所以现在呢,我就喜欢肤浅的人。
142. Back then, I didn’t have much talent, I just relied on my good looks, so the people who liked me at that time were quite superficial. So now, I like superficial people.

143.我长得天下无双,英俊洒脱。
143. I am unparalleled in my handsomeness and elegance.

144.长得帅不是我的错,你喜欢我就是你自己的问题了。
144. It’s not my fault for being handsome, if you like me, that’s your own issue.

145.如果有来生,我希望我别再那么帅了,普通点好。
145. If there is an afterlife, I hope I’m not that handsome anymore, being ordinary is better.

146.本人年方二十三,英俊潇酒。七岁学文,九岁习武,十二岁会泡妞,上知天文地理,下知鸡毛蒜皮,每外出行走,常引美女回头,帅哥跳楼,心地善良,乐于助人。小学时语文课老师讲解“帅哥”含义,我百思不得其解,同桌偷偷递过小镜子。我一照。哦。刹那间明白了……
146. I am twenty-three years old, handsome and elegant. I studied literature at the age of seven, practiced martial arts at nine, and learned how to charm girls at twelve. I know about astronomy and geography, as well as the tiniest details. Whenever I go out, I often attract the attention of beautiful women and make handsome men jump off buildings. I am kind-hearted and always willing to help others. When I was in elementary school, my Chinese teacher was explaining the meaning of “handsome guy” and I couldn’t understand it. My deskmate secretly passed me a small mirror. I took one look and suddenly understood…

147.哎。为什么比我帅的人到现在我还没见到呢?
147. Sigh. Why haven’t I seen anyone more handsome than me yet?

148.你连梦想都没有,跟咸鱼有什么区别?——你见过我这么帅的咸鱼?
148. You don’t even have dreams, what’s the difference between you and a salted fish? Have you ever seen such a handsome salted fish like me?

149.终于明白一个道理:人丑就应该多读书——难怪从小到大,人们都说一看我就不是读书的料。
149. I finally understood a truth: those who are ugly should read more books - no wonder people have said since I was young that I don’t look like the type to read.

150.不要因为长得丑就自卑,比如我,长得帅也没骄傲阿。
150. Don’t feel inferior because you’re ugly, like me, I’m handsome and I’m not arrogant at all.

151.从今以后保持低调和神秘,对自己的英俊与帅气只字不提。
151. From now on, I will keep a low profile and be mysterious, never mentioning my handsomeness and charm.

152.有人说我帅,我怒了,我又聪明又勇敢又机智又善良又体贴又温柔又可爱又大方有气质。你他妈只讲我帅?
152. When people compliment me on my handsomeness, I get angry. I am smart, brave, witty, kind, considerate, gentle, lovely, generous, and have good temperament and style. But all you can say is that I’m handsome?

153.别人夸我太帅气,我夸别人好眼力。
153. When others praise me for my handsomeness, I praise them for their good eyesight.

154.虽然我很帅,但是我很低调!
154. Although I am handsome, I am very low-key!

155.百度一下:有木有比我更帅的人?结果显示:对不起,无法找到。
155. Search on Baidu: Are there any people more handsome than me? The result shows: Sorry, unable to find.

156.如果帅是一种错,那么我愿意一错再错。
156. If being handsome is a mistake, then I am willing to make the same mistake over and over again.

157.好烦呐!为什么别人只看见了我帅气的脸,却不知道那背后,我还有个聪明的脑子。
157. It’s so annoying! Why do people only see my handsome face, but don’t know that behind it, I also have a smart brain.

158.为什么我没有一个帅气到炸的同桌,而我同桌却有。
158. Why don’t I have a同桌 who is extremely handsome, while my 同桌 already has one?

159.情人节怕对象太帅被人抢走?别瞅我,瞅我也没用,我比他还帅。
159. Are you worried about your Valentine’s date being too handsome and being stolen away? Don’t look at me, it’s useless. I am even more handsome than he is.

160.你们怎么说我帅都行,我不介意,但是别扯上我朋友,不关他们的事,他们只是一群无辜的傻狍子。
160. You can say whatever you want about me being handsome, I don’t mind, but don’t involve my friends. It has nothing to do with them. They are just a group of innocent and silly deer.

161.当帅哥很痛苦的,你们这些奇形怪状是不会懂的。
161. Being a handsome guy is very painful, you weird-looking people will never understand.

162.今天公交车上说请勿携带易燃易爆物品,我听了果断下了车,因为我帅气到爆。
162. Today on the bus, it was announced not to carry flammable or explosive items. I decisively got off the bus after hearing this because my handsomeness is explosive.

163.有人说我长得帅,我笑了,结果他们说我笑起来更帅。
163. Someone said I was handsome, and I laughed. As a result, they said I looked even more handsome when I smiled.

164.上班打车一般是块,今天打车到了之后,师傅硬是要收我,真是日了汪。我生气的问他,为什么要这么多!师傅也很激动,大声回答我——你特么长这么帅老子多收你五块怎么了!他说的好有道理我竟无言以对。
164. Taking a taxi to work usually costs me 20 yuan, but today the driver insisted on charging me 25 yuan. I was angry and asked him why it was so much! The driver was also excited and loudly replied, “What’s wrong with charging you an extra five yuan for being so handsome!” His words made so much sense that I was speechless.

165.没有我的帅气,人类靠什么活下去啊!
165. Without my handsome looks, what would humanity rely on to survive?

166.有啥事咱们摊开了说阿,别老在背后说我帅,说我好看啥的,烦不烦阿?谁不知道似的。
166. Let’s talk openly about things, okay? Stop gossiping behind my back about how handsome or good-looking I am. Who doesn’t know already?

167.每次你凶我的时候,我都觉得你有病,面对这么帅气的我,你居然还能发脾气。
167. Every time you get angry with me, I think you’re crazy. Faced with such a handsome me, how can you still lose your temper?

168.羡慕有故事的人,不像我,活了这么久,一个帅字就贯穿了一生。
168. I envy people with stories, unlike me, who has lived for so long with just one word – handsome – running through my life.

169.每次我一个人走夜路都好害怕,天这么黑,我这么帅,真怕别人看不见啊。
169. I’m always scared when I walk alone at night. It’s so dark, and I’m so handsome. I’m really afraid others won’t notice me.

170.想跟身边的朋友说声对不起,这些年我的帅气给你们添了不少麻烦。
170. I want to apologize to my friends for the trouble my handsomeness has caused you over the years.

171.靠近我之前你可想清楚了,我除了一身的帅气之外可什么都没有。
171. Before you get close to me, think it through. I have nothing but my handsome appearance.

172.我就奇怪了,为什么总有人说我帅呢,烦死啦!
172. I find it strange that people always say I’m handsome. It’s so annoying!

173.觉得生活没意思了,活不下去了,拿起镜子,看看自己,那么帅那么美的一张脸,舍得辜负,舍得糟蹋吗。
173. When life seems meaningless and I can’t go on, I pick up a mirror and look at my handsome and beautiful face. Can I bear to let it down or waste it?

174.我拥有着这个年龄不该有的帅气和机智。
174. I possess the handsomeness and wit that one my age should not have.

175.和我在一起之前你要知道一件事,我什么都没有,除了这张帅气的脸。
175. Before being with me, you should know one thing: I have nothing but this handsome face.

176.有人说我不要脸,这简直胡扯,这么帅的脸,我哪舍得不要。
176. Some people say I have no shame, which is nonsense. How could I bear to discard such a handsome face?

177.我知道我很帅但是真的有点帅过头了。
177. I know I’m handsome, but I’m really a bit too handsome.

178.我没有故事,但只凭借帅气就降服了诸多人。
178. I have no stories, but I’ve conquered many people just by being handsome.

179.一日上山拜访禅师:大师,身边的人总在谈论如何成为一个帅哥,可否为在下指点迷津?大师听完微微一笑,取出一面镜子,我恍然大悟:大师,您是说平常一定要多注意自己的形象么?——大师说:你特么照照镜子就知道什么叫帅哥了!
179. One day, I went to visit a Zen master on the mountain: Master, people around me always talk about how to become a handsome guy. Can you give me some guidance? After listening, the master smiled and took out a mirror. I suddenly realized: Master, you mean I should pay more attention to my image? – The master said: Just look in the mirror and you’ll know what a handsome guy looks like!

180.上次一女孩问我,你长这么大追过几个靓女?我告诉她一个也没有,旁边我一个朋友把实话说给那女孩,一般都是靓女追他,女孩当时就昏过去了。
180. A girl once asked me, “Have you ever pursued any beautiful women in your life?” I told her none, and a friend of mine told the truth to that girl: usually, it’s the beautiful women who pursue him. The girl fainted on the spot.

181.我窝在你们列表,不说话都散发着帅气。
181. Even when I’m silent in your contacts list, I exude handsomeness.

182.经常被自己帅到双眼迷离,又不能亲自己。
182. I’m often mesmerized by my own handsomeness, but I can’t kiss myself.

183.只恨自己太倔强,明明可以靠脸吃饭,却偏偏要靠才华。
183. I just regret being too stubborn, I could have relied on my looks for a living, but I chose to rely on my talent instead.

184.成绩排名这东西,你丑你先排,我帅我随意。
184. When it comes to grade rankings, the uglier you are, the higher you rank; as for me, being handsome, I can be more casual.

185.本人英俊潇洒,帅呆酷毕,风流倜傥,玉树临风,一表人才,年少多金,聪明伶俐活泼可爱谈吐大方风度翩翩。气宇不凡,全国杰出十大。
185. I am handsome, dashing, handsome and cool, romantic and unrestrained, elegant and poised, a promising young man, wealthy and young, smart, lively, lovely, and eloquent. I have a dignified demeanor and am among the top ten outstanding people in the country.

186.说我有病的人,都嫉妒我的帅气与机智。
186. Those who say I’m sick are just jealous of my handsomeness and wit.

187.难道像我这样帅气又有才华的人,就只能孤独终老吗?
187. Can someone like me, who is both handsome and talented, only end up alone and old?

188.凭什么我没有一个帅得惊世骇俗的同桌,而我同桌却有。
188. Why don’t I have a同桌 who is shockingly handsome, while my 同桌 already has one?