1.笑只是个表情，与快乐无关。
1. A smile is just a facial expression, unrelated to happiness.

2.好女人是一所学校，好男人毕业了可留校任教。
2. A good woman is like a school, and a good man can stay and teach after graduation.

3.在熟悉的东西，将来也会慢慢的淡忘，最后只剩下片刻回忆。
3. Even the most familiar things will gradually fade away in the future, leaving only a moment of memories.

4.如果蚊子不吸血，改行抽脂肪，那它会是多么可爱的小生灵啊。
4. If mosquitoes didn’t suck blood and instead started extracting fat, how cute a little creature it would be.

5.你以为你是酒，越放越有味，其实你是屁，一会儿就没味。
5. You think you’re like wine, getting better with age, but in fact, you’re like a fart, gone in a moment.

6.最讨厌的是，在我努力试着放下的时候，你又出现在我面前。
6. The worst thing is that when I’m trying hard to let go, you show up in front of me again.

7.现在的社会是：头脑社会，金钱拿人。你可以很贵，也可以免费。
7. Nowadays, society is a brain-based, money-driven world. You can be expensive or free.

8.我女友一定是路痴，所以才到现在都还没有找到我。
8. My girlfriend must be a terrible navigator, that’s why she hasn’t found me yet.

9.别以为你头上顶坨屎，你就是金刚葫芦娃。
9. Don’t think that just because you have a turd on your head, you’re the mighty Gourd娃.

10.不是我不敢说实话，我只是怕你受不了这打击。
10. It’s not that I’m afraid to tell the truth, I’m just afraid you can’t handle the blow.

11.其实我真的是乖孩子，只是你用了怪眼光来看我。
11. In fact, I’m a good kid, it’s just that you’re looking at me with strange eyes.

12.现在世道变了，卫生巾都贵的买不起。
12. The world has changed, and even sanitary pads are too expensive to afford.

13.单身久了，突然发现最近看母猪也觉得它很眉清目秀啊。
13. Being single for so long, I suddenly find that even a pig looks pretty to me these days.

14.所谓成功女人就是：白天很牛B，晚上B很牛。
14. A successful woman is one who is very powerful during the day, and very wild at night.

15.我不会再因你而改变，也不会再犹豫说再见。
15. I won’t change for you anymore, nor will I hesitate to say goodbye.

16.当生活给你一百个理由哭时，你就拿一千个理由笑给它看。
16. When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show it a thousand reasons to smile.

17.你我之间本无缘分，全靠我颜值死撑。
17. There’s no fate between you and me, it’s all thanks to my good looks that I’m holding on.

18.虽然我没有巴黎欧莱雅懂你，但是你的益达满了。
18. Although I don’t understand you as well as L’Oréal Paris, your yogurt is full.

19.人生最大的抉择就是选择品尝咖啡味的屎，还是屎味的咖啡。
19. The biggest choice in life is choosing between tasting coffee-flavored poop or poop-flavored coffee.

20.你若选择做狗，我就牵绳遛你走你走，不玩死你这贱人我就不撒手。
20. If you choose to be a dog, I’ll lead you on a leash and walk you around, and I won’t let go until I’ve had my fun with you, you despicable person.

21.当我看到美男时请不要问我怎么怪怪的，我装逼模式已开启。
21. When I see a handsome guy, don’t ask me what’s wrong. My “showing off” mode is already on.

22.最明目张胆的恭维，就是把“悍妇撒泼”说成是“贵妃醉酒”。
22. The most blatant compliment is to describe a “tiger wife” as “a drunken imperial concubine.”

23.我不去想是否能够成功，既然选择了远方，便只顾风雨兼程!
23. I don’t think about whether I can succeed. Since I’ve chosen the distance, I’ll just go through wind and rain!

24.不要和姐玩曖昧，和姐玩曖昧的都必須娶姐!
24. Don’t play with me ambiguously. Those who play with me must marry me!

25.妈妈说：就算吃醋也要装的跟喝了酱油似的，不能让别人瞧不起。
25. Mom said: Even if you’re jealous, you have to pretend as if you’ve drunk soy sauce, so that others won’t look down on you.

26.每天都在纠结着三件事晚上睡不着，早上起不来，后悔昨天睡太晚。
26. Every day I’m entangled in three things: not being able to sleep at night, not being able to get up in the morning, and regretting sleeping too late yesterday.

27.世界这么的大，我就不信没有一个爱我的人。
27. The world is so big, I just don’t believe there’s no one who loves me.

28.喜欢你，不需要什么理由;不喜欢你，什么都是理由。
28. Liking you doesn’t need any reason; disliking you, everything is a reason.

29.老婆分两种：可爱的和可恨的。老公分两种：可怜的和可以的。
29. Wives can be divided into two types: lovely and hateful. Husbands can be divided into two types: pitiful and acceptable.

30.还有什么资格吃，我再胖下去就没人要了。
30. What qualifications do I have to eat? If I get fatter, no one will want me.

31.我曾为你哭过，从此你不配拥有我的微笑。
31. I once cried for you, and from then on, you don’t deserve my smile.

32.再好的链子也拴不住想跑的狗，再好的待遇也满足不了贪婪的心。
32. No matter how good the chain is, it can’t tie a dog that wants to run away; no matter how good the treatment is, it can’t satisfy a greedy heart.

33.自从买了保险后，过马路都随随便便了!
33. Ever since I bought insurance, I’ve been careless when crossing the road!

34.像你这种人，在我导演的连续剧里，最多能让你活两集。
34. For people like you, in the TV series I direct, I can only let you live for two episodes at most.

35.一人去联通教移动话费，业务员直接叫老总，这有人砸场子。
35. A person went to China Unicom to teach how to pay for China Mobile’s phone bill, and the clerk directly called the boss, saying someone was here to smash the place.

36.给我一个支点，我能撬走你的女朋友。
36. Give me a fulcrum, and I can take away your girlfriend.

37.放下屠刀立地成佛的意思是，你放下屠刀的那一刻对方把你砍成两瓣儿了。
37. “Letting go of the butcher’s knife and becoming a Buddha on the spot” means that the moment you let go of the knife, the other party cuts you into two pieces.

38.人生偶尔就像养狗，你以为它为你所有，结果往往它会咬你一口。
38. Sometimes life is like raising a dog; you think it’s yours, but it often ends up biting you.

39.每次在街上看见很瘦的人，我都想分些肉给她，我有一颗善良的心。
39. Every time I see a thin person on the street, I want to share some of my meat with her, as I have a kind heart.

40.谁都不许伤害我姐妹，没我的允许，谁都TM都别想动我姐妹。
40. No one is allowed to hurt my sisters. Without my permission, no one can touch my sisters.

41.对着太阳，我一直闭着眼，不是因为太阳刺眼，而是因为我是瞎子。
41. Facing the sun, I always close my eyes, not because the sun is dazzling, but because I am blind.

42.羡慕你们这些有故事的人，不像我，一个帅字就贯穿了我的一生。
42. I envy you people who have stories, unlike me, a handsome word runs through my whole life.

43.你看我只对你笑，因为我忘了怎么哭。
43. You see me only smiling at you, because I forgot how to cry.

44.小时候玩猫捉老鼠，等老鼠们都藏好了，我这只猫就回家。
44. When I was a child, I played cat and mouse. After the mice were all hidden, I, the cat, went home.

45.为了面子我不敢找你，怕你认为我还放不下你，怕你嘲笑我。
45. For the sake of face, I dare not look for you, afraid that you think I still can’t let you go, afraid that you will laugh at me.

46.你再怎么鄙视我也没用，咱俩都是国产货。
46. It’s no use for you to despise me, we are both domestic products.

47.我未来的老公是个未知数，而会我喝到老的人也是未知数。
47. My future husband is an unknown, and the person who will drink with me until old is also an unknown.

48.我地理很好，为什么连个方向都不知道，就是不认识东南西北。
48. I am good at geography, but why don’t I know the direction at all, I just don’t recognize the cardinal directions.

49.别人笑我穿的厚，我笑他人冻得透。
49. Others laugh at me for wearing thick clothes, I laugh at them for being frozen through.

50.老娘一定要在你家户口本上出现，不是做你老婆就当你后妈。
50. I must appear on your household registration book, either as your wife or your stepmother.

51.这个世界上任何东西都会被时间涂抹更改，但，有你在，我便也在。
51. Anything in this world can be smeared and changed by time, but with you, I am also here.

52.现在的人个个都是爱情理论专家，一块砖拍到个人下去，个专家，个教授。
52. Nowadays, everyone is an expert in love theory. A brick hits a person, and there is an expert, a professor.

53.一对三说：“如果我们俩在一起的话，那就真个是举一反三啦。”
53. One pair of three says: “If we two are together, then it’s really drawing inferences from one instance.”

54.刚开始不给的是女人，后来急着要的还是女人!
54. At first, it’s women who don’t give it, and later, it’s still women who are eager for it!

55.我身在江湖，江湖却没有关于我的传说!
55. I am in the world of martial arts, but there are no legends about me in the martial arts world!

56.看到美女我心动，看到丑女我心痛。
56. When I see a beautiful woman, I feel attracted; when I see an ugly woman, I feel heartache.

57.说起我男朋友的优点，总结起来就是五个字“会挑女朋友”。
57. Speaking of my boyfriend’s advantages, they can be summarized in five words: “good at choosing a girlfriend.”

58.心脏没有那么脆弱，但最后总还会有执着。
58. The heart is not so fragile, but in the end, there will always be persistence.

59.水至清则无鱼，人至贱则无敌；
59. If the water is too clear, there will be no fish; if a person is too shameless, they will be invincible.

60.总有一天，我们都会明白，人首先要爱的永远都是自己。 再不开心，也要试着笑，至少努力笑一笑就不会那么难过了。
60. One day, we will all understand that the first thing a person must love is always themselves. No matter how unhappy, try to smile, at least try to smile, and it won’t be so sad.

61.生活其实也很简单，喜欢的就争取，得到的就珍惜，失去的就忘记。
61. Life is actually quite simple: strive for what you like, cherish what you have, and forget what you’ve lost.

62.你不是VIP，甚至不是IP，你只是个p。
62. You’re not a VIP, or even an IP; you’re just a P.

63.好男人使女人了解世界，坏男人使女人误解世界。 一般说来，插手是出于好心，插足是别有用心。
63. A good man helps a woman understand the world, while a bad man leads her astray. Generally, meddling is well-intentioned, butmeddling is driven by ulterior motives.

64.作为一个怪兽，我的愿望是至少消灭一个奥特曼。
64. As a monster, my wish is to at least defeat an Ultraman.

65.人生如戏，全靠演技;人生苦短，必须性感。
65. Life is like a play, depending on acting skills; life is short, so be sexy.

66.一旦学会破罐子破摔，你会发现世界豁然开朗。
66. Once you learn to embrace the “broken jar” mentality, you’ll find the world suddenly opens up.

67.生活就像是心电图，想要一帆风顺除非你死了。
67. Life is like an electrocardiogram; if you want everything to go smoothly, you’d better be dead.

68.你每次都说你一无所有，我只想问，你当我傻啊，你不是有病嘛。
68. Every time you say you have nothing, I just want to ask, do you think I’m stupid? Don’t you have a problem?

69.我不知道，我不知道，我不知道为什么我不知道。
69. I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know why I don’t know.

70.世上的道理没几条，就看能不能做到。
70. There are only a few principles in the world, and it depends on whether you can follow them.

71.有些人在岁月面前无师自通地迅速缴械，有些人是天生学不会如何长大。你到底是哪一种人。
71. Some people quickly surrender to time without being taught, while others are naturally unable to learn how to grow up. Which kind of person are you?

72.做人要谦卑，因为谦卑不醉。
72. Be humble in life, because humility doesn’t get you drunk.

73.每个成功的男人背后，都会有一个吃饱了没事做的女人。
73. Behind every successful man, there is a woman who is well-fed and has nothing to do.

74.岁月是一枚钉子，和生活注定了一锤子买卖。
74. Time is a nail, and life is destined to be a one-time deal.

75.理想就像内裤，要有，但不能逢人就去证明你有。
75. Ideals are like underwear; you have to have them, but you can’t prove it to everyone.

76.生活将我们磨圆，是为了让我们滚得更远。
76. Life grinds us down, so that we can roll further.

77.老子来到这个世上，就没打算活着回去。
77. I came to this world with no intention of leaving alive.

78.所谓价值观不同就是，给一根拉住，有人觉得差一个蛋糕，有人会觉得缺一条皮鞭。
78. Different values mean that when given a rope, some people feel they lack a cake, while others feel they need a whip.

79.在你头上拉屎的未必是敌人，也可能是你楼上的邻居。
79. The one who poops on your head may not be an enemy; it could also be your upstairs neighbor.

80.人就像卷纸，没事尽量少扯。
80. People are like toilet paper; don’t pull it unless necessary.

81.有老公怎么的，有守门员还进球呢。
81. So what if you have a husband? Goals are still scored even with a goalkeeper.

82.如果你想知道什么是希望，买一张彩票;如果你想知道什么是绝望，买一堆彩票。
82. If you want to know what hope is, buy a lottery ticket; if you want to know what despair is, buy a bunch of lottery tickets.

83.兄弟，用心交;父母，拿命孝。
83. Make friends with your heart; honor your parents with your life.

84.语言很多时候都是假的，一起经历的事情才是真的…… 我不想做你的插曲，我只想做你生命中最完美的结局。
84. Many times, language is fake, but the experiences we share together are real… I don’t want to be an interlude in your life, I want to be the most perfect ending of your life.

85.我们这一代生的计划，死的随机。
85. Our generation is born by plan, and dies by chance.

86.如果用快乐去丈量，人生其实很短。
86. If measured by happiness, life is actually very short.

87.凡事要主动，比如，你可以爬上墙头等红杏。
87. Be proactive in everything, for example, you can climb up the wall and wait for the red apricot.

88.如果有天你挨揍了，别奇怪，那是因为你嘴惹祸了。
88. If one day you get beaten up, don’t be surprised, it’s because your mouth caused trouble.

89.不要对我太好，这样我会分不清是友情还是爱情；
89. Don’t be too good to me, or I won’t be able to tell the difference between friendship and love.

90.一口一口吃不掉忧愁，只能吃成个胖子。
90. Bit by bit, you can’t eat away your sorrows; you can only eat yourself into a fat person.

91.非让现实给你一巴掌，你才知道社会有多虚伪，非让所谓的朋友把你伤的什么都不是，你才知道人心可畏!
91. Reality has to slap you in the face for you to know how hypocritical society is, and so-called friends have to hurt you until you’re nothing for you to know how terrifying people can be!

92.有人问我：你的人生谁来操盘?我操。
92. Someone asked me: Who’s in control of your life? I am.

93.人和猪的区别就是：猪一直是猪，而人有时却不是人。
93. The difference between humans and pigs is that pigs are always pigs, but sometimes people are not human.

94.你没那么多观众，别那么累。
94. You don’t have that many spectators; don’t be so tired.

95.你心软你总是害怕伤害到谁谁谁，所以被伤害到的人总是你。
95. You’re too soft-hearted, always afraid of hurting others, so the one who gets hurt is always you.

96.别怕受伤别怕动荡趁着年轻勇敢去闯!
96. Don’t be afraid of getting hurt or facing turmoil; be brave and venture out while you’re young!

97.世上的一切问题，都能用“关你屁事”和“关我屁事”来回答，突然感觉屁好忙。
97. All the problems in the world can be answered with “None of your business” and “None of my business.” Suddenly, it feels like everyone’s business.

98.我愿化作愤怒的小鸟，一头撞向那些猪。
98. I wish I could turn into an angry bird and crash into those pigs.

99.对于攀登者来说，失掉往昔的足迹并不可惜，迷失了继续前时的方向却很危险。
99. For climbers, it’s not a pity to lose the footprints of the past, but losing the direction to move forward is very dangerous.

100.人生就像愤怒的小鸟，当你失败时，总有几头猪在笑。
100. Life is like Angry Birds; when you fail, there are always a few pigs laughing.

101.如果命运掐住了你的咽喉，那你就挠挠他的胳肢窝。
101. If fate has you by the throat, just tickle its armpits.

102.有时候有些事，不知道比知道幸福。
102. Sometimes, it’s happier not to know some things.

103.力求上进的人，不要总想着靠谁谁，人都是自私的，自己才是最靠得住的人。
103. Ambitious people should not always rely on others, as everyone is selfish; you can only truly rely on yourself.

104.其实你不用自卑，因为你曾经在几千万甚至以亿计的选手中赢夺冠军。
104. You don’t need to feel inferior, as you have once won the championship among tens of millions, if not hundreds of millions, of competitors.

105.失败并不意味着你浪费了时间和生命，而是表明你有理由重新开始。所以，不要畏惧失败。
105. Failure does not mean you’ve wasted time and life; it means you have a reason to start over. So, don’t be afraid of failure.

106.这个社会，没有对与错，只有强与弱。
106. In this society, there is no right or wrong, only strong and weak.

107.你不要想以后怎样，以后是以后的事情。人生不过百年，幕起幕落而已。
107. Don’t think about what will happen in the future; the future will take care of itself. Life is but a hundred years, with ups and downs.

108.每天把牢骚拿出来晒晒太阳，心情就不会缺钙。要输就输给追求，要嫁就嫁给幸福。
108. Take out your complaints and let them bask in the sun every day, and your mood won’t be lacking in calcium. If you have to lose, lose to pursuit; if you have to marry, marry happiness.

109.不想奋斗的时候就照照镜子、看看银行卡余额、想想新婚姻法。
109. When you don’t want to struggle, look in the mirror, check your bank account balance, and think about the new marriage law.

110.生活不是你妈，它不会惯着你，哭了又怎么样，擦干眼泪站起来继续跑下去。
110. Life is not your mother; it won’t spoil you. What’s the point of crying? Wipe away your tears, stand up, and keep running.

111.当代生活的含义便是：生的下来，活不下去。
111. The meaning of contemporary life is: being born, but not being able to survive.

112.这个世界没有错，谁让你长得丑还穷。
112. The world is not wrong; it’s just that you’re ugly and poor.

113.哪有什么错过的人，会离开的都是路人。哪有什么命运不公，都是懒惰让你变得无能。
113. There are no missed people; those who leave are just passers-by. There is no unfair fate; it’s your laziness that makes you incompetent.

114.不是因为看到希望了才会去坚持，而是坚持了才知道没有希望！
114. It’s not because you see hope that you persist, but because you persist and then realize there is no hope!

115.生活不会因为你是弱者而对你笑脸相待。
115. Life won’t treat you kindly just because you’re weak.

116.没有等出来的一手遮天，只有拼出来的万人之上。
116. There’s no waiting for greatness; only through hard work can you rise above thousands.

117.一个人，要是不逼自己一把，根本不知道自己有多优秀。
117. A person won’t know how excellent they are unless they push themselves.

118.你改变不了昨天，但如果你过于忧虑着明天，那将会毁了今天。
118. You can’t change yesterday, but if you worry too much about tomorrow, it will ruin today.

119.忍一时得寸进尺，退一步变本加厉。
119. Enduring for a while leads to further aggression; taking a step back leads to more intense pressure.

120.口中的道德和原则虽然重要，却总是要给手里的利益让道。
120. Morality and principles are important, but they always have to give way to the benefits in hand.

121.和人接触时间长了就越来越喜欢狗了，狗永远是狗，人有时不是人。
121. The longer you interact with people, the more you appreciate dogs, for dogs will always be dogs, while sometimes people are not human.

122.最怕你一生碌碌无为，还安慰自己平凡可贵！
122. The worst thing is to live a life of mediocrity and still comfort yourself with the idea that being ordinary is precious!

123.我讨厌命运骄傲的神情，嘲笑我没有半点决定的权利。
123. I hate the arrogant look of fate, mocking me for having no say in the matter.

124.一个地方的垃圾桶，往往反映着这个地方的经济实力。
124. The trash cans in a place often reflect the economic strength of that place.

125.口袋里钞票的颜色，决定了今天的心情。
125. The color of the money in your pocket determines your mood for the day.

126.每个人总觉得别人的东西永远是最好的，哪怕东西是一样的。
126. Everyone always thinks that other people’s things are the best, even if the things are the same.

127.要么忍，要么残忍，做人要狠，在这肮脏的社会才站得稳。
127. Either endure or be ruthless; to be a person, you must be tough in this dirty society to stand firm.

128.给你一巴掌然后再给你揉揉，这就是人心。
128. To slap you and then rub your face is the nature of people.

129.小时候谁跟我玩谁就是朋友，长大后谁是我朋友我就跟谁玩。
129. When I was young, whoever played with me was my friend; as I grew up, whoever is my friend, I play with them.

130.男人不要觉得有很多备胎多光荣，因为只有破车才需要备胎！
130. Men should not feel proud of having many backup girlfriends, because only broken-down cars need spare tires!

131.闭上眼睛，清理你的心，过去的就让它过去吧，用心甘情愿的态度，过随遇而安的生活。
131. Close your eyes, clean your heart, let the past go, and live a life of contentment with the attitude of acceptance.

132.孩子把玩具当朋友，成人把朋友当玩具！
132. Children treat toys as friends, while adults treat friends as toys!

133.以前的亲戚都是亲人，现在有的亲戚说难听点儿，就是有点儿血缘关系的路人。
133. In the past, relatives were family members; now, some relatives are, to put it bluntly, just acquaintances with a bit of blood relation.

134.成功三要素：一坚持。二不要脸。三坚持不要脸。
134. The three elements of success: 1. Perseverance. 2. No shame. 3. Persevere in being shameless.

135.吃，我所欲也，瘦，亦我所欲也，二者不可得兼，我勒个去也。
135. Eating is what I desire, and so is being thin; but I cannot have both, oh my!

136.青春就像卫生纸，看着挺多的，用着用着就不够了。
136. Youth is like toilet paper; it seems like there’s plenty, but as you use it, it runs out.

137.只要功夫深，芙蓉瘦成针;舍得一身剐，凤姐拿绿卡。
137. With deep dedication, even a lotus can become a needle; willing to risk everything, even an ugly duckling can get a green card.

138.社会很单纯，复杂的是人。
138. Society is simple; it’s people who are complicated.

139.失眠，是因为把睡眠看得过重，以为少睡一晚就会死。
139. Insomnia occurs because people place too much importance on sleep, thinking that missing one night will lead to death.

140.妻妾成群，但有至爱；儿女绕膝，家却不败;想玩就玩，能干则干；空气自由，永无黑暗；老来回首，还有遗憾。
140. A man may have many concubines, but there is only one true love; with children around, the family will not fall apart; play when you want, work when you can; enjoy the freedom of the air, with no darkness; when you look back in old age, there are still regrets.

141.不要以为自己是武大郎，就以为姚明是两个人垒成的。
141. Don’t assume that because you are short like Wu Dalang, Yao Ming must be made up of two people stacked together.

142.不要太过依赖除自己以外的人，因为只有自己不会抛弃自己。
142. Don’t rely too much on people other than yourself, because only you won’t abandon yourself.

143.头等舱可以优先登机，银行VIP可以不用排队，演唱会最贵的位置也是最好的，世界从不平等，你有多努力，就有多特殊。
143. First-class passengers can board first, bank VIPs don’t have to wait in line, and the best seats at concerts are also the most expensive. The world is never equal; the harder you work, the more special you become.

144.偷一个人的主意是剽窃，偷很多人的主意就是研究。
144. Stealing one person’s idea is plagiarism, but stealing many people’s ideas is research.

145.人性，是丑陋的，经不起考验的。你以为，那些你曾经帮助过的人，至少会在你落难的时候展现出怜悯之心，但是，往往这些人就是最容易落井下石的人。
145. Human nature is ugly and cannot withstand tests. You might think that those you have helped in the past would show compassion when you are in trouble, but often these are the very people who are most likely to take advantage of your misfortune.

146.不要怪别人心眼多，是你自己缺心眼。不要说别人爱炫耀，是你自己在嫉妒。
146. Don’t blame others for being cunning; it’s because you are naive. Don’t say others love to show off; it’s because you are jealous.

147.男女之间是真的可以有纯友谊的，只要一个打死不说，一个装傻到底。
147. True friendship between men and women is possible, as long as one never confesses their feelings and the other pretends to be oblivious.

148.瘦不了的永远在骚动，吃不胖的都有恃无恐。
148. Those who can’t lose weight are always restless, while those who can’t gain weight have no fear.

149.如果全世界都背叛了你，我会站在你背后背叛世界。
149. If the whole world betrays you, I will stand behind you and betray the world.

150.你装作刀枪不入的样子，就要做好被万箭穿心的准备。
150. If you pretend to be invulnerable, be prepared to face a thousand arrows piercing your heart.