楼主：给我一个女人，我就能创造出一个民族！ 
1. Post: Give me a woman, and I can create a nation!
回复：嗯，给你一头母猪，明年的肉价就能下跌！ 
Reply: Well, give you a sow, and next year’s meat prices will drop!

楼主：上大学我跳过课、挂过科、甩过人、被甩过、打过架、记过过……哎，能干的我都干过了～ 
2. Post: In college, I’ve skipped classes, failed subjects, dumped people, been dumped, fought, and been disciplined… Sigh, I’ve done everything I could do.
回复：你死过吗？ 
Reply: Have you ever died?

楼主：请用一句话形容中国国家地震台。 
3. Post: Please use one sentence to describe the China National Seismic Station.
回复：事后诸葛亮，事前猪一样！ 
Reply: Wise after the event, as clueless as a pig before it!

楼主：大家都来讲一个开头KB，中间好笑，结局悲惨的故事。譬如从前有个鬼，放了个屁，然后死了。 
Original Poster: Everyone share a story that starts off cool, gets funny in the middle, and ends in tragedy. Like once there was a ghost, it farted, and then it died.
回复：遇到芙蓉姐姐，爱上芙蓉姐姐，娶了芙蓉姐姐…… 
Reply: Met Sister Lotus, fell in love with Sister Lotus, married Sister Lotus…

楼主：为什么越来越多人不想要小孩呢？ 
Original Poster: Why do more and more people not want to have kids?
暴强回复：北京派来的高官说了，要从娃娃抓起。
Sarcastic reply: A senior official sent from Beijing said, start with the children.

楼主：每天对着单位那群领导说话让我感到前途很渺茫…… 
Original Poster: Talking to the leaders at my job every day makes me feel like my future is bleak…
回复：幸福吧你～因为对牛弹琴并不可怕，可怕的是一群牛每天对着你弹琴！ 
Reply: Consider yourself lucky - it’s not scary to play the lute to a cow, what’s scary is a herd of cows playing the lute to you every day!

楼主：深圳南头一卖菠萝的女摊贩情急之下咬下城市管理者叔叔的小JJ…… 
Original Poster: A female fruit vendor in Nantou, Shenzhen, in a fit of desperation, bit off a city manager uncle’s little JJ…
回复：哼！你不让我生活，我就不让你享受生活！！！ 
Reply: Hmph! If you won’t let me live, I won’t let you enjoy life!!!

楼主：其实牛顿只是幸运地发现万有引力定律，要是早生三百年，我也可以！ 
Original Poster: Actually, Newton was just lucky to discover the law of universal gravitation. If I were born 300 years earlier, I could have done it too!
回复：的确是幸运儿，因为砸到他脑袋上的是苹果，而砸到可怜楼主脑袋上的不是榴莲就是椰子…… 
1. Reply: Indeed, he is a lucky one because it was an apple that hit his head, while poor楼主 got hit by either a durian or a coconut…

楼主：是被人叫大叔惨还是叫弟弟惨？ 
2. 楼主: Is it worse to be called “uncle” or “brother”?
暴强回复：大叔你弟弟出来了。 
3. Extremely strong reply: Uncle, your brother is here.

楼主：城市管理者增加新武器来抓流浪狗！ 
4. 楼主: City managers have added new weapons to catch stray dogs!
暴强回复：本是同根生，想煎何太急。 
5. Extremely strong reply: Born from the same root, why the rush to pan-fry?

楼主：我喜欢上了一个比我小6岁的女孩，还在上初中，真是造孽啊。 
1. Poster: I’ve fallen for a girl who is 6 years younger than me and still in junior high. It’s really sinful.
回复：把喜欢两字去掉才真是造孽。 
2. Reply: It’s only sinful if you remove the word “like.”

楼主：老婆生了个女娃，非常可爱，求各位帮爱女起个有气势的名字，鄙人姓成。 
3. Poster: My wife gave birth to a cute girl. Please help me come up with a powerful name. My surname is Cheng.
回复：成吉思汉。 
4. Reply: Cheng Gengsi Han.

楼主：今天见男网友对方一直暗示想上床，想问：难道现在网友见面就是为了上床？ 
5. Poster: Today, I met a male friend online, and he kept hinting that he wanted to sleep together. I wonder: Is the purpose of meeting online friends just for sleeping together?
暴强回复：网友见面不上床？你开什么玩笑，大家都这么忙。 
6. Strong reply: Meeting online friends and not sleeping together? Are you kidding? Everyone is so busy.

楼主：该死的理发店把我头剪坏了！大家出点损招，要求破坏性越大越好，动静越小越好，因为是我一个人去。 
7. Poster: That damned barbershop ruined my haircut! Please suggest some destructive ideas, requiring the greatest destruction and the least noise, as I’ll be doing it alone.
论坛地下室：半夜三更，月黑风高，静静地、轻轻地，一个人吊死在理发店门口…… 
8. Forum basement: In the middle of the night, dark and stormy, quietly and gently, hang yourself alone at the entrance of the barbershop…

楼主：我得了健忘症怎么办？ 
9. Poster: I have amnesia. What should I do?
论坛回复：那岂不是很爽？每天早晨醒来发现睡在自己身旁的都是不同的女人~ 
10. Forum reply: Isn’t that great? Every morning when you wake up, you find different women sleeping next to you~

楼主：为什么pol.ice抓坏人时都要鸣警笛？难道不怕坏人老大远就听到跑了？ 
11. Poster: Why do police have to sound sirens when catching criminals? Aren’t they afraid the criminals will hear and run away?
论坛沙发：上级单位来检查之前一般都会事先通知下级单位的～ 
12. Forum sofa: When higher authorities come for inspection, they usually notify lower-level units in advance~

楼主：为什么生下的孩子要跟父亲一个姓？ 
13. Poster: Why do children take their father’s surname after they are born?
论坛沙发：因为取款机里吐出的钱归插卡人所有。 
14. Forum sofa: Because the money spit out by an ATM belongs to the cardholder.

楼主：帅有个屁用——到头来还不是被卒吃掉！ 
15. Poster: What’s the use of being handsome? In the end, you’re still eaten by a pawn!
论坛回复：帅有士陪，有炮打，有马骑，有车坐，有相暗恋……帅怎么不好？！！ 
16. Forum reply: Being handsome has company from a soldier, can be hit by a cannon, ride a horse, sit in a chariot, and have a prime minister secretly admire you… How could being handsome be bad?!

楼主：一学生，成绩年年倒数第一，常与人打架，按领导要求老师想给学生好 听一点的期末评语，怎么写啊？ 
17. Poster: A student consistently ranks last in academic performance every year and often gets into fights. The teacher wants to give the student a better-sounding end-of-term comment as required by the school leaders. How should it be written?
暴强回复：该生成绩稳定，动手能力强。 
18. Strong reply: The student has stable grades and strong hands-on abilities.

楼主：通过海南矿泉水喝死人事件，可以看到中国的食品安全堪忧，矿泉水也 能喝死人？不是有QS标志吗？ 
19. Poster: Through the Hainan mineral water poisoning incident, we can see that China’s food safety is worrying. Can mineral water also cause death? Isn’t there a QS logo?
暴强回复：弱弱的问一下，QS是不是去死的意思？ 
20. Strong reply: Weakly asking, does QS mean “go die”?

楼主：养条狗和养一个男人哪个合算？ 
6. 楼主: Which is more cost-effective, raising a dog or raising a man?
暴强回复：大婶，即使你能把男人当狗使，但你敢把狗当男人使不？ 
7. Extremely strong reply: Auntie, even if you can treat a man like a dog, do you dare to treat a dog like a man?

楼主：我有一百万，想买一辆车，大家给个建议吧。 
1. Poster: I have one million and want to buy a car. Can anyone give me some advice?
论坛回复：你可以卖30辆QQ，组个车队开，一会排成S型，一会排成B型。 
Forum reply: You can buy 30 QQ cars, form a convoy, and arrange them in S-shape and B-shape.

楼主：王小丫跟陈章良结婚，请用四个字评论。 
2. Poster: Wang Xiaoya and Chen Zhangliang got married. Please comment with four words.
论坛回复：丫从良了！ 
Forum reply: Ya Cong Liang Le!

楼主：昨晚遛狗时俺们家大藏獒和小树林边一秃毛野狗咬起来。干！没想到藏獒竟然大败给一条草狗！！！ 
3. Poster: Last night, while walking my dog, my Tibetan Mastiff got into a fight with a bald wild dog near the small woods. Damn! I didn’t expect the Tibetan Mastiff to be defeated by a stray dog!!!
论坛沙发：爷秃之前，他们都叫我狮子！ 
Forum sofa: Before I went bald, they called me a lion!

楼主：女友总说自己胸小，我觉得还可以啊，请论坛GG们帮忙鉴定一下～ 
1. Poster: My girlfriend always says her breasts are small, but I think they’re fine. Can the GGs (brothers) on the forum help me evaluate?
论坛沙发：后背上长俩青春痘！ 
2. Forum first reply: Two pimples on the back!

楼主：征集骂人最狠且不露脏字的一句话。 
3. Poster: I’m collecting the harshest insult without using any dirty words, please help.
论坛回复 你妈生你的时候是不是把人扔了，把胎盘养大了？ 
4. Forum reply: When your mom gave birth to you, did she throw the baby away and raise the placenta instead?

楼主：为什么领导访问日本，日本方面比较冷淡，甚至机场连欢迎标语都没挂？ 
5. Poster: Why is the Japanese side relatively cold when the leader visits Japan, and there’s not even a welcome banner at the airport?
论坛沙发：怎么挂？热烈欢迎老朋友来日？　
6. Forum first reply: How should they hang it? Warm welcome to our old friend for coming to Japan?

楼主：你们女人大夏天的戴胸罩不热吗？ 
1. Poster: Don’t you women feel hot wearing bras in the summer?
论坛回复：我们不带你们会热…… 
Forum reply: We’d make you feel hot if we didn’t wear them…

楼主：我新买了一处庄园，有多大说出来吓死你——我开车绕一圈足足用了两个半小时！！！ 
2. Poster: I just bought a new estate, it’s so big I’ll shock you – it took me two and a half hours to drive around it!
论坛沙发：嗯，以前我也有这么一辆破车～
Forum sofa: Yeah, I used to have such a broken car too~

楼主：假如我有一亿人民币，我就可以贷款在汤臣一品买房子了！ 
3. Poster: If I had 100 million RMB, I could get a loan to buy a house in Tomson Riviera!
论坛回复：嗯，不过你还要先借钱交物业费～ 
Forum reply: Yeah, but you’d still need to borrow money to pay the property fees.

楼主：他今天山盟海誓说我是他生命中的一部分，我是他身体中的一部分，如果没了我，他就活不下去啦~ 
1. Post: He solemnly swore today that I am a part of his life, a part of his body, and he can’t live without me.
论坛沙发：我的前男友也是这么说的，后来我才知道，我是他盲肠、阑尾、仔耳、六指这类可有可无的玩意儿！ 
2. Forum sofa: My ex-boyfriend said the same thing, and later I found out that I was just a dispensable thing like his appendix, tonsils, or extra finger!

楼主：老娘我简直太有钱了，我该给保姆买辆什么车呢？ 
3. Post: I’m so rich, what kind of car should I buy for my nanny?
论坛回复：那就要看她跟你老公发展到什么关系了～
4. Forum reply: That depends on how far her relationship with your husband has progressed.