The same day, about seven o’clock in the evening, Raskolnikov was on his way to his mother’s and sister’s lodging–the lodging in Bakaleyev’s house which Razumihin had found for them. —
同一天晚上七点左右，拉斯科尔尼科夫正在前往母亲和妹妹的住所的路上，这个住所在巴卡列夫的房子里，是拉祖米欣给他们找到的。 —

The stairs went up from the street. Raskolnikov walked with lagging steps, as though still hesitating whether to go or not. —
楼梯从街道往上走。拉斯科尔尼科夫步履蹒跚，仿佛还在犹豫要不要去。 —

But nothing would have turned him back: his decision was taken.
但是没有什么能够阻止他：他已经做出了决定。

“Besides, it doesn’t matter, they still know nothing,” he thought, “and they are used to thinking of me as eccentric.”
“况且，也无关紧要，他们仍然一无所知，”他想，“而且他们已经习惯将我看作古怪的人。”

He was appallingly dressed: his clothes torn and dirty, soaked with a night’s rain. —
他的穿着令人发指：衣服破烂脏污，被一夜的雨淋湿。 —

His face was almost distorted from fatigue, exposure, the inward conflict that had lasted for twenty-four hours. —
他的脸几乎被疲惫、暴露和持续了二十四小时的内心冲突扭曲。 —

He had spent all the previous night alone, God knows where. —
他整个前一晚孤单一人度过，天知道在何处。 —

But anyway he had reached a decision.
但不管怎样，他已经做出了决定。

He knocked at the door which was opened by his mother. Dounia was not at home. —
他敲了敲门，门被他的母亲打开。杜尼亚不在家。 —

Even the servant happened to be out. At first Pulcheria Alexandrovna was speechless with joy and surprise; —
仆人也碰巧不在。普尔切里娅·亚历山德罗芙娜一开始被欣喜和惊讶所震惊无语； —

then she took him by the hand and drew him into the room.
然后她拉着他的手把他拉进了房间。

“Here you are!” she began, faltering with joy. —
“你来啦！”她开始说，喜悦地结结巴巴。 —

“Don’t be angry with me, Rodya, for welcoming you so foolishly with tears: —
“别生我气，罗德亚，我这么愚蠢地含泪欢迎你： —

I am laughing not crying. Did you think I was crying? —
我在笑，不是在哭。你以为我在哭吗？ —

No, I am delighted, but I’ve got into such a stupid habit of shedding tears. —
不，我很高兴，但我养成了掉泪的愚蠢习惯。 —

I’ve been like that ever since your father’s death. I cry for anything. —
自从你父亲去世以来我就一直这样。什么事都能让我哭。 —

Sit down, dear boy, you must be tired; I see you are. —
坐下，亲爱的孩子，你一定很累；我看得出来。 —

Ah, how muddy you are.”
啊，你多么泥泞啊。”

“I was in the rain yesterday, mother… .” Raskolnikov began.
“昨天我在雨中，母亲……” 拉斯科尔尼科夫开始说。

“No, no,” Pulcheria Alexandrovna hurriedly interrupted, “you thought I was going to cross-question you in the womanish way I used to; —
“不,不，” 普尔切里娅·亚历山德罗芙娜匆匆打断道，“你以为我还会像以前那样以女人的方式盘问你； —

don’t be anxious, I understand, I understand it all: —
不用担心，我明白，我全都明白： —

now I’ve learned the ways here and truly I see for myself that they are better. —
现在我已经学会了这里的方式，事实上我亲眼看到它们更好。 —

I’ve made up my mind once for all: how could I understand your plans and expect you to give an account of them? —
我已经一次性做出了决定：我如何能理解你的计划并期待你对其进行解释呢？ —

God knows what concerns and plans you may have, or what ideas you are hatching; —
神知道你可能关心和计划的事情，或者你正在构思的想法； —

so it’s not for me to keep nudging your elbow, asking you what you are thinking about? —
所以不是我一个劲地拧你的肘部，问你在想什么吧？ —

But, my goodness! why am I running to and fro as though I were crazy … ? —
但是，天呐！我为什么像疯了一样东奔西跑呢… —

I am reading your article in the magazine for the third time, Rodya. Dmitri Prokofitch brought it to me. —
罗杰雅，我正在第三次阅读你在杂志上的文章。德米特里·普罗科菲奇把它给我带来的。 —

Directly I saw it I cried out to myself: —
当我看到它时，我在心里惊呼： —

‘There, foolish one,’ I thought, ‘that’s what he is busy about; that’s the solution of the mystery! —
“那，傻瓜，”我想，“他就是在忙这个事情；那就是谜团的解答！ —

Learned people are always like that. He may have some new ideas in his head just now; —
有学问的人总是这样。他现在可能头脑中有一些新想法； —

he is thinking them over and I worry him and upset him.’ —
他在思考着，我却让他烦恼，让他烦躁。” —

I read it, my dear, and of course there was a great deal I did not understand; —
我阅读了，我亲爱的，当然有很多我不理解的地方； —

but that’s only natural–how should I?”
但这是很自然的—我怎么能够理解呢？”

“Show me, mother.”
“给我看看，妈妈。”

Raskolnikov took the magazine and glanced at his article. —
拉斯科尔尼科夫拿起了杂志，扫了一眼他的文章。 —

Incongruous as it was with his mood and his circumstances, he felt that strange and bitter sweet sensation that every author experiences the first time he sees himself in print; —
尽管与他的心情和处境不相符合，他却感受到了每个作者第一次看到自己印刷品时所经历的那种奇异而苦乐交加的感觉； —

besides, he was only twenty-three. It lasted only a moment. —
另外，他才二十三岁。这种感觉只持续了一瞬间。 —

After reading a few lines he frowned and his heart throbbed with anguish. —
读了几行后，他皱起了眉头，内心感到痛苦不堪。 —

He recalled all the inward conflict of the preceding months. —
他回忆起前几个月内心的冲突。 —

He flung the article on the table with disgust and anger.
他厌恶和愤怒地把文章扔在桌上。

“But, however foolish I may be, Rodya, I can see for myself that you will very soon be one of the leading–if not the leading man–in the world of Russian thought. —
“不管我有多愚蠢，罗季亚，我自己也能看出你很快会成为俄罗斯思想界的主要人物–如果不是最主要的人物的话。 —

And they dared to think you were mad! You don’t know, but they really thought that. —
他们竟然敢认为你疯了！你不知道，但他们真的认为是那样的。 —

Ah, the despicable creatures, how could they understand genius! —
啊，卑鄙的家伙，他们怎么会理解天才！ —

And Dounia, Dounia was all but believing it–what do you say to that? —
而且杜尼亚，杜尼亚几乎就信了这一点–你说怎么办？ —

Your father sent twice to magazines–the first time poems (I’ve got the manuscript and will show you) and the second time a whole novel (I begged him to let me copy it out) and how we prayed that they should be taken–they weren’t! —
你父亲两次向杂志投稿–第一次是诗（我有手稿会给你看），第二次是整部小说（我求他让我抄写），我们如何祈祷它们能被采纳–可惜都没有！ —

I was breaking my heart, Rodya, six or seven days ago over your food and your clothes and the way you are living. —
我上个星期六七天前心都碎了，罗季亚，为了你的饭食和衣服以及你的生活方式。 —

But now I see again how foolish I was, for you can attain any position you like by your intellect and talent. —
但现在我再次看到我有多愚蠢，因为凭借你的智慧和才华，你可以得到任何你想要的地位。 —

No doubt you don’t care about that for the present and you are occupied with much more important matters… .”
毫无疑问，你现在并不在乎这些，你正在忙于更重要的事情……”

“Dounia’s not at home, mother?”
“杜尼亚不在家吗，母亲？”

“No, Rodya. I often don’t see her; she leaves me alone. —
“不在，罗季亚。我经常见不到她；她总是一个人离开我。 —

Dmitri Prokofitch comes to see me, it’s so good of him, and he always talks about you. —
德米特里·普罗科菲奇常来看我，他真好，他总是谈论你。 —

He loves you and respects you, my dear. I don’t say that Dounia is very wanting in consideration. —
他爱你，尊重你，我亲爱的。我不是说杜尼亚非常缺乏考虑。 —

I am not complaining. She has her ways and I have mine; —
我没有抱怨。她有她的方式，我有我的; —

she seems to have got some secrets of late and I never have any secrets from you two. —
她最近似乎有了一些秘密，而我从来没有对你俩隐瞒任何事情。 —

Of course, I am sure that Dounia has far too much sense, and besides she loves you and me … —
当然，我相信杜涅雅太聪明了，而且她也爱你和我… —

but I don’t know what it will all lead to. —
但我不知道这一切会导致什么。 —

You’ve made me so happy by coming now, Rodya, but she has missed you by going out; —
你现在来了让我很开心，罗杰，但她因为外出错过了和你见面; —

when she comes in I’ll tell her: ‘Your brother came in while you were out. —
等她回来时我会告诉她：“你外出时你哥来过了。 —

Where have you been all this time?’ You mustn’t spoil me, Rodya, you know; —
你这段时间都去哪儿了？”罗杰，别太宠我，知道吗; —

come when you can, but if you can’t, it doesn’t matter, I can wait. —
你能来就来，来不了也没关系，我可以等。 —

I shall know, anyway, that you are fond of me, that will be enough for me. —
我无论如何都会知道你爱我，对我来说就足够了。 —

I shall read what you write, I shall hear about you from everyone, and sometimes you’ll come yourself to see me. —
我会读你写的东西，听大家给我讲你的事，有时你也会亲自来看我。 —

What could be better? Here you’ve come now to comfort your mother, I see that.”
还有什么比这更好的呢?你现在来安慰你妈妈，我明白。”

Here Pulcheria Alexandrovna began to cry.
这时普勒若琳娜·亚历山德罗夫娜开始哭了。

“Here I am again! Don’t mind my foolishness. My goodness, why am I sitting here?” —
“我又来了!别理我的傻气。噢，天哪，我为什么坐在这里?” —

she cried, jumping up. “There is coffee and I don’t offer you any. —
她喊着站了起来。“这里有咖啡却没招待你。 —

Ah, that’s the selfishness of old age. I’ll get it at once!”
啊，这就是年老时的自私。我马上拿来！”

“Mother, don’t trouble, I am going at once. I haven’t come for that. Please listen to me.”
“妈妈，别着急，我马上就要走了。我不是为此而来，请听我说。”

Pulcheria Alexandrovna went up to him timidly.
蒲尔谢里亚·亚历山德罗芙娜战战兢兢地走到他身边。

“Mother, whatever happens, whatever you hear about me, whatever you are told about me, will you always love me as you do now?” —
“妈妈，无论发生什么事，无论你听到我什么消息，无论你听说我什么事，你会像现在这样永远爱我吗？” —

he asked suddenly from the fullness of his heart, as though not thinking of his words and not weighing them.
他突然问道，满怀感情，仿佛不经思索、不衡量措辞。

“Rodya, Rodya, what is the matter? How can you ask me such a question? —
“罗狄亚，罗狄亚，怎么了？你为什么问我这样的问题？ —

Why, who will tell me anything about you? —
到底谁会告诉我关于你的事？ —

Besides, I shouldn’t believe anyone, I should refuse to listen.”
再说，我不会相信任何人，我会拒绝听任何人说话的。”

“I’ve come to assure you that I’ve always loved you and I am glad that we are alone, even glad Dounia is out,” he went on with the same impulse. —
“我来向你保证，我一直爱你，现在我们独处我也很高兴，哪怕唐妮娅出去了,” 他同样冲动地继续说道。 —

“I have come to tell you that though you will be unhappy, you must believe that your son loves you now more than himself, and that all you thought about me, that I was cruel and didn’t care about you, was all a mistake. —
“我来告诉你，尽管你会不快乐，但你必须相信，你的儿子现在比爱自己更爱你，你所有对我的看法，认为我残酷无情，完全是个误会。 —

I shall never cease to love you… . Well, that’s enough: —
我永远不会停止爱你……好了，就说这么多： —

I thought I must do this and begin with this… .”
我觉得我必须这么做，从这一点开始……”

Pulcheria Alexandrovna embraced him in silence, pressing him to her bosom and weeping gently.
蒲尔谢里亚·亚历山德罗芙娜沉默中拥抱着他，轻轻地把他紧靠在胸前，眼泪流了出来。

“I don’t know what is wrong with you, Rodya,” she said at last. —
“罗狄亚，我不知道你怎么了,” 她最终说道。 —

“I’ve been thinking all this time that we were simply boring you and now I see that there is a great sorrow in store for you, and that’s why you are miserable. —
“一直以来，我一直在想我们是不是只是让你厌烦了，现在我看到你将有一场巨大的悲伤，这就是你为什么这么难过的原因。 —

I’ve foreseen it a long time, Rodya. Forgive me for speaking about it. —
我早就预见到了，罗狄亚。请原谅我说这些话。” —

I keep thinking about it and lie awake at nights. —
我一直想着它，晚上躺在床上辗转反侧。 —

Your sister lay talking in her sleep all last night, talking of nothing but you. —
你姐姐整晚都在说梦话，一直在说你。 —

I caught something, but I couldn’t make it out. —
我捕捉到了一些东西，但看不清楚。 —

I felt all the morning as though I were going to be hanged, waiting for something, expecting something, and now it has come! —
整个早晨我感觉就像要被绞死一样，等待着什么，期待着什么，现在终于来了！ —

Rodya, Rodya, where are you going? You are going away somewhere?”
罗杰，罗杰，你要去哪里？你要去哪里？”

“Yes.”
“是的。”

“That’s what I thought! I can come with you, you know, if you need me. And Dounia, too; —
“我就知道！如果你需要我，我可以跟着你。还有唐妮亚；她爱你，她非常爱你——索菲亚·谢梅诺芙娜如果你喜欢，也可以和我们一起去。 —

she loves you, she loves you dearly–and Sofya Semyonovna may come with us if you like. —
你看，我很乐意将她视为我的女儿…… —

You see, I am glad to look upon her as a daughter even … —
迪米特里·普罗科菲奇会帮助我们一起走。但是……。你们要去哪里？” —

Dmitri Prokofitch will help us to go together. But . —
“再见，妈妈。” —

. . where … are you going?”
“什么，今天？”她哭了起来，仿佛永远失去他一样。

“Good-bye, mother.”
“我不能留下，我必须现在就走……”

“What, to-day?” she cried, as though losing him for ever.
“那我不能跟你一起去吗？”

“I can’t stay, I must go now… .”
“Sofya Semyonovna, 如果你喜欢，我也可以和你一起走。

“And can’t I come with you?”
“安能同日终？”

“No, but kneel down and pray to God for me. Your prayer perhaps will reach Him.”
“不过你跪下来为我向上帝祈祷。也许你的祈祷会传达到他那里。”

“Let me bless you and sign you with the cross. —
“让我为你祝福并用十字记号给你签名。” —

That’s right, that’s right. Oh, God, what are we doing?”
“对，对，天啊，我们在做什么？”

Yes, he was glad, he was very glad that there was no one there, that he was alone with his mother. —
“是的，他很高兴，他非常高兴没有人在场，他和他的母亲独处。” —

For the first time after all those awful months his heart was softened. —
“在那些可怕的月份后，他的心第一次软化了。” —

He fell down before her, he kissed her feet and both wept, embracing. —
“他跪在她面前，亲吻她的脚，两人拥抱哭泣。” —

And she was not surprised and did not question him this time. —
“这一次，她既没有感到惊讶，也没有询问他。” —

For some days she had realised that something awful was happening to her son and that now some terrible minute had come for him.
“几天来，她意识到她的儿子遇到了一些可怕的事情，而现在，他迎来了一个可怕的时刻。”

“Rodya, my darling, my first born,” she said sobbing, “now you are just as when you were little. —
“罗杰，我亲爱的，我的长子，”她抽泣着说道，”现在你就像小时候一样。” —

You would run like this to me and hug me and kiss me. —
“你会像这样跑向我，拥抱我，亲吻我。” —

When your father was living and we were poor, you comforted us simply by being with us and when I buried your father, how often we wept together at his grave and embraced, as now. —
“在你父亲还活着而我们很穷的时候，你简单地陪伴在我们身边就使我们感到安慰，当我埋葬你父亲时，我们多少次在他的坟墓前哭泣，拥抱，就像现在这样。” —

And if I’ve been crying lately, it’s that my mother’s heart had a foreboding of trouble. —
“如果最近我一直在哭泣，是因为我的母亲的心预感到有麻烦发生。” —

The first time I saw you, that evening, you remember, as soon as we arrived here, I guessed simply from your eyes. —
“第一次见到你的时候，那个晚上，你记得，我们到这里来的时候，我简单地从你的眼睛中猜到了。” —

My heart sank at once, and to-day when I opened the door and looked at you, I thought the fatal hour had come. —
“我的心一下子就沉了下去，今天当我打开门看着你的时候，我觉得致命的时刻已经来临。” —

Rodya, Rodya, you are not going away to-day?”
“罗杰，罗杰，你今天不会离开吧？”

“No!”
“不！”

“You’ll come again?”
“你会再来吗？”

“Yes … I’ll come.”
“是的 … 我会来的。”

“Rodya, don’t be angry, I don’t dare to question you. I know I mustn’t. —
“罗季亚，不要生气，我不敢问你。我知道我不该的。 —

Only say two words to me–is it far where you are going?”
只对我说两个字——你去的地方远吗？”

“Very far.”
“很远。”

“What is awaiting you there? Some post or career for you?”
“在那里等待着你什么？有什么职位或事业？”

“What God sends … only pray for me.” —
“上帝派遣的…只为我祈祷吧。” —

Raskolnikov went to the door, but she clutched him and gazed despairingly into his eyes. —
罗季亚走向门口，但她抓住他，绝望地凝视着他的眼睛。 —

Her face worked with terror.
她的脸上充满了恐惧。

“Enough, mother,” said Raskolnikov, deeply regretting that he had come.
“够了，母亲，” 罗季亚说道，深感遗憾自己来了。

“Not for ever, it’s not yet for ever? You’ll come, you’ll come to-morrow?”
“不是永远，还不是永远？你会来，明天会来吗？”

“I will, I will, good-bye.” He tore himself away at last.
“我会，我会，再见。” 最后他终于挣脱而出。

It was a warm, fresh, bright evening; it had cleared up in the morning. —
这是一个温暖、清新、明亮的傍晚；早上天气已经放晴了。 —

Raskolnikov went to his lodgings; he made haste. He wanted to finish all before sunset. —
罗季亚赶回到他的住所；他赶得很快。他想在日落前完成所有事情。 —

He did not want to meet anyone till then. —
直到那时，他都不想见任何人。 —

Going up the stairs he noticed that Nastasya rushed from the samovar to watch him intently. —
上楼梯时，他注意到娜斯塔西娅匆忙从热水瓶边走过来，专注地看着他。 —

“Can anyone have come to see me?” he wondered. He had a disgusted vision of Porfiry. —
“有人来找我吗？”他想。他恶心地想到了波尔菲里。 —

But opening his door he saw Dounia. She was sitting alone, plunged in deep thought, and looked as though she had been waiting a long time. —
但当他打开门时，看到了杜尼亚。她独自坐着，沉浸在深深的思考中，看起来好像等了很久。 —

He stopped short in the doorway. She rose from the sofa in dismay and stood up facing him. —
他停在门口。她惊慌地从沙发上站起来，面对着他。 —

Her eyes, fixed upon him, betrayed horror and infinite grief. —
她那注视着他的眼睛中流露出的恐惧和无尽的悲伤。 —

And from those eyes alone he saw at once that she knew.
仅从她的眼睛，他立刻看出她知道了。

“Am I to come in or go away?” he asked uncertainly.
“我是该进来还是离开？”他不确定地问道。

“I’ve been all day with Sofya Semyonovna. We were both waiting for you. —
“我一整天都和索菲亚·谢若诺夫娜在一起。我们都在等你。 —

We thought that you would be sure to come there.”
“我们以为你一定会去那里的。”

Raskolnikov went into the room and sank exhausted on a chair.
拉斯科尔尼科夫走进房间，疲惫地倒在椅子上。

“I feel weak, Dounia, I am very tired; and I should have liked at this moment to be able to control myself.”
“我感觉虚弱，杜尼亚，我很累；这时候，我希望能够控制自己。”

He glanced at her mistrustfully.
他怀疑地看着她。

“Where were you all night?”
“你昨晚在哪里呢？”

“I don’t remember clearly. You see, sister, I wanted to make up my mind once for all, and several times I walked by the Neva, I remember that I wanted to end it all there, but . —
“我记不清了。你看，姐姐，我想彻底了结一切，有好几次我走到涅瓦河边，我记得我想在那儿了结一切，但是… —

. . I couldn’t make up my mind,” he whispered, looking at her mistrustfully again.
.我下不了决心，”他又一次怀疑地低声说道。

“Thank God! That was just what we were afraid of, Sofya Semyonovna and I. Then you still have faith in life? —
“谢天谢地！这正是我们担心的，索菲亚·谢若诺夫娜和我。那你还相信生活吗？ —

Thank God, thank God!”
谢天谢地，谢天谢地！”

Raskolnikov smiled bitterly.
拉斯科尔尼科夫苦涩一笑。

“I haven’t faith, but I have just been weeping in mother’s arms; —
“我没有信仰，但刚才我在妈妈怀里哭泣； —

I haven’t faith, but I have just asked her to pray for me. —
我没有信仰，但刚才我求她为我祈祷。 —

I don’t know how it is, Dounia, I don’t understand it.”
我不知道怎么回事，杜尼亚，我不明白。”

“Have you been at mother’s? Have you told her?” —
“你有去看母亲吗？你告诉她了吗？” —

cried Dounia, horror- stricken. “Surely you haven’t done that?”
“杜尼娅惊恐地喊道。“你真的没有那样做吧？”

“No, I didn’t tell her … in words; but she understood a great deal. —
“没有，我没有告诉她……用言语；但她理解了很多。 —

She heard you talking in your sleep. I am sure she half understands it already. —
“她听到你在睡梦中说话。我确信她已经有些明白了。 —

Perhaps I did wrong in going to see her. —
也许我去看她是错的。 —

I don’t know why I did go. I am a contemptible person, Dounia.”
我不知道我为什么去了。我是一个可鄙的人，杜尼娅。”

“A contemptible person, but ready to face suffering! You are, aren’t you?”
“一个可鄙的人，但是愿意面对痛苦！你是，不是？”

“Yes, I am going. At once. Yes, to escape the disgrace I thought of drowning myself, Dounia, but as I looked into the water, I thought that if I had considered myself strong till now I’d better not be afraid of disgrace,” he said, hurrying on. —
“是的，我要走了。立即离开。是的，为了逃避耻辱我曾考虑过溺死自己，杜尼娅，但是当我看着水时，我想如果我一直认为自己很坚强，那我最好不要害怕耻辱，”他说着，匆匆离开。 —

“It’s pride, Dounia.”
“这是骄傲，杜尼娅。”

“Pride, Rodya.”
“骄傲，罗季亚。”

There was a gleam of fire in his lustreless eyes; —
他那无光泽的眼睛中闪烁着火光； —

he seemed to be glad to think that he was still proud.
他似乎很高兴自己依然是骄傲的。

“You don’t think, sister, that I was simply afraid of the water?” —
“姐姐，你不认为我只是害怕水吗？” —

he asked, looking into her face with a sinister smile.
他带着一丝邪恶的微笑看着她的脸说。

“Oh, Rodya, hush!” cried Dounia bitterly. Silence lasted for two minutes. —
“哦，罗季亚，闭嘴！”杜尼娅痛苦地喊道。沉默持续了两分钟。 —

He sat with his eyes fixed on the floor; —
他坐在那里，双眼紧盯着地面； —

Dounia stood at the other end of the table and looked at him with anguish. —
多妮娅站在桌子另一端，用痛苦的表情看着他； —

Suddenly he got up.
突然，他站了起来；

“It’s late, it’s time to go! I am going at once to give myself up. —
“时间已晚，是时候走了！我马上就去自首。 —

But I don’t know why I am going to give myself up.”
但我不知道为什么我要去自首。”

Big tears fell down her cheeks.
她的脸颊上滚落着大颗泪珠；

“You are crying, sister, but can you hold out your hand to me?”
“你在哭，姐姐，但你能伸出手来吗？”

“You doubted it?”
“你还怀疑？”

She threw her arms round him.
她抱住他；

“Aren’t you half expiating your crime by facing the suffering?” —
“面对痛苦，难道你不是在折磨中赎罪一半吗？” —

she cried, holding him close and kissing him.
她紧紧拥抱着他，亲吻着他；

“Crime? What crime?” he cried in sudden fury. —
“罪？什么罪？”他忽然愤怒地喊道； —

“That I killed a vile noxious insect, an old pawnbroker woman, of use to no one! … —
“难道我杀了一个恶毒有毒的昆虫，一个对任何人都毫无用处的老当铺老太婆！ —

Killing her was atonement for forty sins. She was sucking the life out of poor people. —
杀死她是对四十宗罪的赎罪。她在吸取穷人的生命。 —

Was that a crime? I am not thinking of it and I am not thinking of expiating it, and why are you all rubbing it in on all sides? —
那算得上犯罪吗？我并不想这个，我也不在乎去赎罪，为什么你们都要从四面八方揶揄我？” —

‘A crime! a crime!’ Only now I see clearly the imbecility of my cowardice, now that I have decided to face this superfluous disgrace. —
“罪过！罪过！”只有现在我清楚地看到了我的懦弱愚蠢，现在我已经决定面对这种多余的耻辱。 —

It’s simply because I am contemptible and have nothing in me that I have decided to, perhaps too for my advantage, as that . —
只是因为我是可鄙的，内心空虚，我才决定，也许对我有好处，就像那样。 —

. . Porfiry … suggested!”
“. . 葆尔菲 … 建议!”

“Brother, brother, what are you saying? Why, you have shed blood?” cried Dounia in despair.
“兄弟，兄弟，你在说什么？你为什么流了血？”唐妮娅绝望地喊道。

“Which all men shed,” he put in almost frantically, “which flows and has always flowed in streams, which is spilt like champagne, and for which men are crowned in the Capitol and are called afterwards benefactors of mankind. —
“所有人都流血，”他几乎疯狂地插嘴，“像香槟一样流淌，一直流淌着，人们因此而在国会上被加冕，事后被称为人类的恩人。 —

Look into it more carefully and understand it! —
更仔细地研究一下并理解它！ —

I too wanted to do good to men and would have done hundreds, thousands of good deeds to make up for that one piece of stupidity, not stupidity even, simply clumsiness, for the idea was by no means so stupid as it seems now that it has failed. —
我也想对人们行善，也会做上百次、上千次的好事来弥补那一次愚蠢的行为，不，即使不算愚蠢，只是笨拙，因为那个想法当时并不像现在看起来那么愚蠢。 —

… (Everything seems stupid when it fails. —
(一切失败时都显得愚蠢。 —

) By that stupidity I only wanted to put myself into an independent position, to take the first step, to obtain means, and then everything would have been smoothed over by benefits immeasurable in comparison. —
)由于那次愚蠢，我只是想让自己摆脱依赖的地位，迈出第一步，获得手段，然后一切都会被无法估量的利益顺利解决。 —

… But I … I couldn’t carry out even the first step, because I am contemptible, that’s what’s the matter! —
但是我……我连第一步都走不完，因为我很可鄙，那就是问题所在！ —

And yet I won’t look at it as you do. If I had succeeded I should have been crowned with glory, but now I’m trapped.”
然而我不会像你那样看待它。如果成功了，我应该会被加冕为荣耀，但现在我被困住了。”

“But that’s not so, not so! Brother, what are you saying?”
“但事实并非如此，不是这样！兄弟，你在说什么？”

“Ah, it’s not picturesque, not aesthetically attractive! —
“啊，这不够美观，不够审美吸引人！ —

I fail to understand why bombarding people by regular siege is more honourable. —
我不明白为什么通过常规围攻轰炸人们更加光荣。 —

The fear of appearances is the first symptom of impotence. —
对外表的担忧是无能的第一个症状。 —

I’ve never, never recognised this more clearly than now, and I am further than ever from seeing that what I did was a crime. —
我从未如此清楚地认识到这一点，我离意识到自己所做的是一种罪行的距离比以往任何时候都更远。 —

I’ve never, never been stronger and more convinced than now.”
我从未如此坚强和坚信过。

The colour had rushed into his pale exhausted face, but as he uttered his last explanation, he happened to meet Dounia’s eyes and he saw such anguish in them that he could not help being checked. —
在他苍白疲惫的脸上泛起了红晕，但在说出最后的解释时，他恰巧看到了杜涅娅眼中的痛苦，他不禁停顿了一下。 —

He felt that he had, anyway, made these two poor women miserable, that he was, anyway, the cause …
他感到他无论如何都使这两个可怜的女人不幸，无论如何都是原因…

“Dounia darling, if I am guilty forgive me (though I cannot be forgiven if I am guilty). Good-bye! —
“亲爱的杜涅娅，如果我有罪，请原谅我（尽管如果我有罪就不能被原谅）。再见！ —

We won’t dispute. It’s time, high time to go. —
我们不会争论。是时候走了。 —

Don’t follow me, I beseech you, I have somewhere else to go… . —
别跟着我，我恳求你，我还有别的地方要去… —

But you go at once and sit with mother. I entreat you to! It’s my last request of you. —
但你立刻去坐在妈妈身边。我请求你！这是我对你的最后要求。 —

Don’t leave her at all; I left her in a state of anxiety, that she is not fit to bear; —
一定要呆在她身边；我让她处于焦虑状态，她无法承受； —

she will die or go out of her mind. Be with her! Razumihin will be with you. —
她会死掉或发疯。和她在一起！拉兹米欣会和你在一起。 —

I’ve been talking to him… . Don’t cry about me: —
我和他谈过…不要为我哭泣。 —

I’ll try to be honest and manly all my life, even if I am a murderer. —
我会努力做一个诚实和男子汉一生，即使我是个凶手。 —

Perhaps I shall some day make a name. I won’t disgrace you, you will see; I’ll still show… . —
也许有一天我会有所作为。我不会使你丢脸，你会看到的；我依然会展示… —

Now good-bye for the present,” he concluded hurriedly, noticing again a strange expression in Dounia’s eyes at his last words and promises. —
现在就暂时告别，”他匆忙结束道，再次注意到杜涅娅眼中的奇怪表情和他最后的话语和承诺。 —

“Why are you crying? Don’t cry, don’t cry: —
“你为什么哭？不要哭，不要哭。 —

we are not parting for ever! Ah, yes! Wait a minute, I’d forgotten!”
我们并不是永远分开！啊，是的！等一下，我都忘了！

He went to the table, took up a thick dusty book, opened it and took from between the pages a little water-colour portrait on ivory. —
他走到桌子旁，拿起一本厚厚的布满灰尘的书，打开书本，从页间夹缝中拿出一幅小小的象牙水彩肖像。 —

It was the portrait of his landlady’s daughter, who had died of fever, that strange girl who had wanted to be a nun. —
那是他房东女儿的肖像，那个死于热病的奇怪女孩，那个想要当修女的女孩。 —

For a minute he gazed at the delicate expressive face of his betrothed, kissed the portrait and gave it to Dounia.
他盯着他未婚妻那细腻富有表现力的脸孔看了一会儿，亲吻了肖像，然后递给了敦妮亚。

“I used to talk a great deal about it to her, only to her,” he said thoughtfully. —
“我过去常常跟她说这件事，只跟她说过，”他想了想说。 —

“To her heart I confided much of what has since been so hideously realised. —
“我向她倾诉了许多后来如此可怕地实现的事情。 —

Don’t be uneasy,” he returned to Dounia, “she was as much opposed to it as you, and I am glad that she is gone. —
“不要担心，”他对敦妮亚说，”她和你一样反对这件事，她走了我倒挺高兴。 —

The great point is that everything now is going to be different, is going to be broken in two,” he cried, suddenly returning to his dejection. —
重要的是现在一切都将变得不同，将分崩离析，”他突然回到了他的沮丧中。 —

“Everything, everything, and am I prepared for it? Do I want it myself? —
“一切，一切，我准备好了吗？我想要这样吗？ —

They say it is necessary for me to suffer! What’s the object of these senseless sufferings? —
他们说我需要受苦！这些无谓的痛苦是为了什么? —

shall I know any better what they are for, when I am crushed by hardships and idiocy, and weak as an old man after twenty years’ penal servitude? —
当我被苦难和愚蠢压垮，像蒙受二十年劳教之后的老头子一样虚弱，我难道会更了解这一切为了什么吗？ —

And what shall I have to live for then? Why am I consenting to that life now? —
那时候我还有什么理由活下去？为什么现在我要同意这种生活？ —

Oh, I knew I was contemptible when I stood looking at the Neva at daybreak to-day!”
“哦，当我今天黎明时分站在涅瓦河边看风景时，我知道自己很卑鄙！”

At last they both went out. It was hard for Dounia, but she loved him. —
最后他们都走了出去，对敦妮亚来说很难，但她爱他。 —

She walked away, but after going fifty paces she turned round to look at him again. —
她走了一段路，但走了五十步后又回过头去再看了他一眼。 —

He was still in sight. At the corner he too turned and for the last time their eyes met; —
他还在视线范围内。在拐角处，他也转过身，最后一次他们的目光相遇； —

but noticing that she was looking at him, he motioned her away with impatience and even vexation, and turned the corner abruptly.
但他注意到她在看着他，他不耐烦地甚至生气地示意她离开，突然拐过了角；

“I am wicked, I see that,” he thought to himself, feeling ashamed a moment later of his angry gesture to Dounia. —
“我是坏人，我看到了”，他心想，随后觉得自己对朵尼娅的愤怒姿态感到羞愧； —

“But why are they so fond of me if I don’t deserve it? —
“但为什么他们如此喜欢我，我又不配？” —

Oh, if only I were alone and no one loved me and I too had never loved anyone! —
“哦，如果我能独自一人，没有人爱我，我也从未爱过任何人！” —

/Nothing of all this would have happened. —
“一切都不会发生。” —

/ But I wonder shall I in those fifteen or twenty years grow so meek that I shall humble myself before people and whimper at every word that I am a criminal? —
“但我在那十五到二十年间难道会变得如此温顺，以至于在人们面前谦卑，对每个字眼都唯唯诺诺地承认自己是罪犯？” —

Yes, that’s it, that’s it, that’s what they are sending me there for, that’s what they want. —
“是的，就是这样，就是这样，那才是他们把我送到那里的目的，那才是他们想要的。” —

Look at them running to and fro about the streets, every one of them a scoundrel and a criminal at heart and, worse still, an idiot. —
“看他们在街上来来往往，每个人心里都是恶棍和罪犯，更糟糕的是，是白痴。” —

But try to get me off and they’d be wild with righteous indignation. —
“但要试图为我辩护，他们一定会义愤填膺。” —

Oh, how I hate them all!”
“哦，我多么恨他们！”

He fell to musing by what process it could come to pass, that he could be humbled before all of them, indiscriminately–humbled by conviction. —
他开始冥想，想弄清这样一个过程是如何发生的，他怎么可能在所有人面前，不加区分地被打败—被信念打败。 —

And yet why not? It must be so. Would not twenty years of continual bondage crush him utterly? —
但为什么不呢？一定会这样。二十年的连续奴役难道不会彻底粉碎他吗？ —

Water wears out a stone. And why, why should he live after that? —
水滴石穿。那么，为什么，为什么他那之后还要活着？ —

Why should he go now when he knew that it would be so? —
为什么现在他应该走，而他却知道结果会是这样？ —

It was the hundredth time perhaps that he had asked himself that question since the previous evening, but still he went.
或许已经是第一百次了，自前一晚以来他自问那个问题，但他仍然前往。