Raskolnikov had been a vigorous and active champion of Sonia against Luzhin, although he had such a load of horror and anguish in his own heart. —
拉斯科尔尼科夫一直是索尼娅的激烈而积极的捍卫者，虽然他自己心中充满了恐惧和痛苦。 —

But having gone through so much in the morning, he found a sort of relief in a change of sensations, apart from the strong personal feeling which impelled him to defend Sonia. He was agitated too, especially at some moments, by the thought of his approaching interview with Sonia: —
但是在早上经历了这么多之后，他在感觉上发现一种缓解，除了那种强烈的个人感情推动他去捍卫索尼亚。他也感到不安，特别是在某些时刻，因为他在想着即将与索尼亚进行的会面： —

he /had/ to tell her who had killed Lizaveta. —
他必须告诉她谁杀了丽扎维塔。 —

He knew the terrible suffering it would be to him and, as it were, brushed away the thought of it. —
他知道这对他将是多么可怕的折磨，就像是把这个念头抛在一边一样。 —

So when he cried as he left Katerina Ivanovna’s, “Well, Sofya Semyonovna, we shall see what you’ll say now!” —
当他在离开卡捷琳娜·伊凡诺夫娜家时哭着说“好了，索非娅·谢莫诺夫娜，我们将看看你这次会说些什么！” —

he was still superficially excited, still vigorous and defiant from his triumph over Luzhin. —
他仍然表面上是兴奋的，从他击败卢日因的胜利中仍然是强悍和挑衅的。 —

But, strange to say, by the time he reached Sonia’s lodging, he felt a sudden impotence and fear. —
但是，奇怪的是，当他到达索尼亚的住处时，他突然感到无力和恐惧。 —

He stood still in hesitation at the door, asking himself the strange question: —
他在门口犹豫不决地站着，问自己一个奇怪的问题: —

“Must he tell her who killed Lizaveta?” It was a strange question because he felt at the very time not only that he could not help telling her, but also that he could not put off the telling. —
“他必须告诉她谁杀了丽扎维塔吗？”这是一个奇怪的问题，因为他觉得他不仅不能不告诉她，而且也不能拖延告诉。 —

He did not yet know why it must be so, he only /felt/ it, and the agonising sense of his impotence before the inevitable almost crushed him. —
他还不知道为什么必须这样，他只是感觉到了，那种无法避免的痛苦感几乎让他窒息。 —

To cut short his hesitation and suffering, he quickly opened the door and looked at Sonia from the doorway. —
为了结束他的犹豫和痛苦，他迅速打开门，从门口看向索尼亚。 —

She was sitting with her elbows on the table and her face in her hands, but seeing Raskolnikov she got up at once and came to meet him as though she were expecting him.
她正坐在桌前，双手撑着脸，但看到拉斯科尔尼科夫，她立刻站了起来，迎接他，仿佛在等他。

“What would have become of me but for you?” —
“如果没有你，我会成为什么样子？” —

she said quickly, meeting him in the middle of the room.
她快速地说道，迎接他到了房间中央。

Evidently she was in haste to say this to him. It was what she had been waiting for.
显然她急于对他说这些。这是她一直在等待的。

Raskolnikov went to the table and sat down on the chair from which she had only just risen. —
拉斯科尔尼科夫走到桌前，坐到她刚刚起身的椅子上。 —

She stood facing him, two steps away, just as she had done the day before.
她站在他面前，相距两步，就像前一天一样。

“Well, Sonia?” he said, and felt that his voice was trembling, “it was all due to ‘your social position and the habits associated with it.’ —
“嗯，索尼娅？”他说，感到自己的声音在颤抖，“这一切都是因为‘你的社会地位和与之相关的习惯’。” —

Did you understand that just now?”
你刚才明白了吗？

Her face showed her distress.
她的脸上显露出痛苦。

“Only don’t talk to me as you did yesterday,” she interrupted him. —
“只是不要像昨天那样跟我说话，”她打断了他。 —

“Please don’t begin it. There is misery enough without that.”
“请不要开始。已经有足够的痛苦了。”

She made haste to smile, afraid that he might not like the reproach.
她赶紧笑了起来，生怕他不喜欢这样的责备。

“I was silly to come away from there. What is happening there now? —
“我当时愚蠢地离开那里。那里现在发生了什么事？ —

I wanted to go back directly, but I kept thinking that . —
我本想立刻回去，但我一直在想 —

. . you would come.”
你会来。”

He told her that Amalia Ivanovna was turning them out of their lodging and that Katerina Ivanovna had run off somewhere “to seek justice.”
他告诉她，阿玛利亚·伊万诺芙娜要把他们赶出住所，叶卡捷琳娜·伊万诺芙娜已经跑到某个地方“寻求正义”。

“My God!” cried Sonia, “let’s go at once… .”
“我的上帝！”索尼娅喊道，“我们立刻去吧。。。”

And she snatched up her cape.
她抓起披风。

“It’s everlastingly the same thing!” said Raskolnikov, irritably. —
“这永远都是一样的事情！”拉斯科尔尼科夫恼怒地说。 —

“You’ve no thought except for them! Stay a little with me.”
“你只想着他们！和我呆一会儿。”

“But … Katerina Ivanovna?”
“但是……叶卡捷琳娜·伊万诺夫娜？”

“You won’t lose Katerina Ivanovna, you may be sure, she’ll come to you herself since she has run out,” he added peevishly. —
“你不会失去叶卡捷琳娜·伊万诺夫娜的，你可以放心，她会自己过来的，因为她已经没酒喝了，”他愠怒地补充道。 —

“If she doesn’t find you here, you’ll be blamed for it… .”
“如果她找不到你在这里，你会受到指责……”

Sonia sat down in painful suspense. Raskolnikov was silent, gazing at the floor and deliberating.
索尼娅坐在痛苦的悬念中。罗季昂诺夫沉默着，盯着地板思索着。

“This time Luzhin did not want to prosecute you,” he began, not looking at Sonia, “but if he had wanted to, if it had suited his plans, he would have sent you to prison if it had not been for Lebeziatnikov and me. Ah?”
“这次卢日因没有想要起诉你,” 他开始说，没有看着索尼娅，”但如果他想要的话，如果符合他的计划的话，他本来会把你送进监狱的，如果不是莱别齐亚特尼科夫和我。啊？”

“Yes,” she assented in a faint voice. “Yes,” she repeated, preoccupied and distressed.
“是的，”她用微弱的声音表示同意。”是的，”她重复着，心事重重，烦恼不安。

“But I might easily not have been there. And it was quite an accident Lebeziatnikov’s turning up.”
“但我很可能不会在那里。莱别齐亚特尼科夫出现纯属意外。”

Sonia was silent.
索尼娅沉黙着。

“And if you’d gone to prison, what then? Do you remember what I said yesterday?”
“如果你进了监狱，那又会怎样？你还记得我昨天说过的话吗？”

Again she did not answer. He waited.
她再次没有回答。他等待着。

“I thought you would cry out again ‘don’t speak of it, leave off.’ —
“我以为你会再次喊出 ‘别提了，住口。’” —

” Raskolnikov gave a laugh, but rather a forced one. “What, silence again?” he asked a minute later. —
罗季昂诺夫发出了一声笑，但有点勉强。”怎么，又沉默了吗？”他一分钟后问道。 —

“We must talk about something, you know. —
“我们必须谈点什么，你知道的。 —

It would be interesting for me to know how you would decide a certain ‘problem’ as Lebeziatnikov would say.” —
对我来说会很有趣知道你会如何解决某个’问题’，就像莱别齐亚特尼科夫说的那样。” —

(He was beginning to lose the thread.) “No, really, I am serious. —
(他开始抓不住思路。) “不，真的，我是认真的。 —

Imagine, Sonia, that you had known all Luzhin’s intentions beforehand. —
想象一下，索尼娅，如果你事先知道了卢日金所有的意图。 —

Known, that is, for a fact, that they would be the ruin of Katerina Ivanovna and the children and yourself thrown in–since you don’t count yourself for anything–Polenka too . —
确切地知道，他们会毁了凯捷琳娜·伊万诺夫娜和孩子们，而你也会被牵连进去–因为你觉得自己不算什么–波连卡也一样。 —

. . for she’ll go the same way. Well, if suddenly it all depended on your decision whether he or they should go on living, that is whether Luzhin should go on living and doing wicked things, or Katerina Ivanovna should die? —
如果突然之间所有的决定都取决于你，那么卢日金是否继续活着，干坏事，还是凯捷琳娜·伊万诺夫娜应该去死呢？ —

How would you decide which of them was to die? I ask you?”
你会如何决定哪一个应该去死？我问你。”

Sonia looked uneasily at him. There was something peculiar in this hesitating question, which seemed approaching something in a roundabout way.
索尼娅不安地看着他。这个犹豫不决的问题有着一些特殊之处，似乎旁敲侧击地接近某件事物。

“I felt that you were going to ask some question like that,” she said, looking inquisitively at him.
“我感觉你就要问那样的问题，”她好奇地看着他说。

“I dare say you did. But how is it to be answered?”
“我敢说你是这么想的。但这个问题怎样回答呢？”

“Why do you ask about what could not happen?” said Sonia reluctantly.
“你为什么问那种不可能发生的事？”索尼娅勉强地说。

“Then it would be better for Luzhin to go on living and doing wicked things? —
“那么，卢日金继续活着，干坏事就更好了？ —

You haven’t dared to decide even that!”
你甚至不敢决定这个！”

“But I can’t know the Divine Providence… . And why do you ask what can’t be answered? —
“但我不能知道神的安排……你为何问那些无法回答的问题？ —

What’s the use of such foolish questions? —
那些愚蠢的问题有什么用？ —

How could it happen that it should depend on my decision–who has made me a judge to decide who is to live and who is not to live?”
怎么可能取决于我的决定–谁让我成为裁判，决定谁该活谁不该活？”

“Oh, if the Divine Providence is to be mixed up in it, there is no doing anything,” Raskolnikov grumbled morosely.
“哦，如果神的安排牵扯进来，那就什么都干不了，”拉斯科尔尼科夫闷声不乐地抱怨道。

“You’d better say straight out what you want!” Sonia cried in distress. —
“你最好直接说出你想要的！”索尼娅痛苦地喊道。 —

“You are leading up to something again… . —
“你又在暗示什么了… . —

Can you have come simply to torture me?”
你是来折磨我的吗？”

She could not control herself and began crying bitterly. —
她控制不住自己，开始悲痛地哭泣。 —

He looked at her in gloomy misery. Five minutes passed.
他忧郁地瞧着她。五分钟过去了。

“Of course you’re right, Sonia,” he said softly at last. He was suddenly changed. —
“当然，索尼娅，你是对的，” 最后他轻声说道。他突然变了。 —

His tone of assumed arrogance and helpless defiance was gone. Even his voice was suddenly weak. —
他过去那种假装的傲慢和无力的挑衅的语气消失了。甚至他的声音也突然变得软弱。 —

“I told you yesterday that I was not coming to ask forgiveness and almost the first thing I’ve said is to ask forgiveness. —
“我昨天说过了，我不是来请求原谅的，而我刚刚说的第一句话就是请求原谅。 —

… I said that about Luzhin and Providence for my own sake. —
… 我说卢日因和上帝的事是为了我自己。 —

I was asking forgiveness, Sonia… .”
索尼娅，我在请求原谅… .”

He tried to smile, but there was something helpless and incomplete in his pale smile. —
他试图微笑，但他苍白的笑容中有种无助和不完整的感觉。 —

He bowed his head and hid his face in his hands.
他低头，双手掩面。

And suddenly a strange, surprising sensation of a sort of bitter hatred for Sonia passed through his heart. —
突然间，一种关于索尼娅的某种苦涩仇恨的奇怪，令人惊讶的感觉袭遍他的心头。 —

As it were wondering and frightened of this sensation, he raised his head and looked intently at her; —
仿佛惊讶且害怕这种感觉，他抬起头，专注地看着她； —

but he met her uneasy and painfully anxious eyes fixed on him; there was love in them; —
但他却看到她不安地，痛苦地焦虑的眼睛盯着他；里面充满了爱； —

his hatred vanished like a phantom. It was not the real feeling; —
他的仇恨消失得幻影般迅速。那并不是真实的感觉； —

he had taken the one feeling for the other. —
他已经混淆了其中一种感情。 —

It only meant that /that/ minute had come.
这只意味着那一刻到了。

He hid his face in his hands again and bowed his head. —
他再次用手遮住脸，低下了头。 —

Suddenly he turned pale, got up from his chair, looked at Sonia, and without uttering a word sat down mechanically on her bed.
突然他脸色苍白起来，从椅子上站起来，看着索尼娅，然后默默无言地机械地坐在她的床上。

His sensations that moment were terribly like the moment when he had stood over the old woman with the axe in his hand and felt that “he must not lose another minute.”
那一刻他的感觉非常像他站在老妇人身边手持斧头，感觉“绝不能再浪费一分钟”的那一刻。

“What’s the matter?” asked Sonia, dreadfully frightened.
“怎么了？”索尼娅问道，感到非常害怕。

He could not utter a word. This was not at all, not at all the way he had intended to “tell” and he did not understand what was happening to him now. —
他无法开口。这一点也不，也不是他本打算“说”的方式，他现在不明白发生在他身上的事情。 —

She went up to him, softly, sat down on the bed beside him and waited, not taking her eyes off him. —
她轻轻走到他面前，坐在他旁边的床上等待，目不转睛地看着他。 —

Her heart throbbed and sank. It was unendurable; he turned his deadly pale face to her. —
她的心怦然而降。简直不堪忍受；他把他那一张病态苍白的脸转向她。 —

His lips worked, helplessly struggling to utter something. —
他的嘴唇动了动，无助地挣扎着要说些什么。 —

A pang of terror passed through Sonia’s heart.
一阵恐惧穿过索尼娅的心头。

“What’s the matter?” she repeated, drawing a little away from him.
“怎么了？”她再次重复着，轻轻地离他远了一点。

“Nothing, Sonia, don’t be frightened… . It’s nonsense. —
“没事，索尼娅，不要害怕……这都是胡说。 —

It really is nonsense, if you think of it,” he muttered, like a man in delirium. —
这实在是荒唐，如果你想想的话，”他喃喃自语，像是一个神志不清的人。 —

“Why have I come to torture you?” he added suddenly, looking at her. —
“我为什么来折磨你？”他突然补充道，看着她。 —

“Why, really? I keep asking myself that question, Sonia… .”
“为什么，真的吗？我一直在问自己这个问题，索尼娅……”

He had perhaps been asking himself that question a quarter of an hour before, but now he spoke helplessly, hardly knowing what he said and feeling a continual tremor all over.
也许他在一个小时前曾问自己这个问题，但现在他无助地说话，几乎不知道自己在说什么，全身一直在颤抖。

“Oh, how you are suffering!” she muttered in distress, looking intently at him.
“哦，你在受苦！”她痛苦地喃喃自语，紧紧地看着他。

“It’s all nonsense… . Listen, Sonia.” He suddenly smiled, a pale helpless smile for two seconds. —
“这都是胡闹……听着，索尼娅。”他突然微笑了，一个苍白无助的微笑，只持续了两秒钟。 —

“You remember what I meant to tell you yesterday?”
“你记得我昨天想告诉你的事吗？”

Sonia waited uneasily.
索尼娅焦虑地等待着。

“I said as I went away that perhaps I was saying good-bye for ever, but that if I came to-day I would tell you who . —
“我走时说也许是永别，但如果今天来了，我会告诉你是谁。” —

. . who killed Lizaveta.”
谁杀了丽扎维塔。”

She began trembling all over.
她开始浑身颤抖。

“Well, here I’ve come to tell you.”
“嗯，我是来告诉你的。”

“Then you really meant it yesterday?” she whispered with difficulty. —
“那么昨天你是认真的？”她困难地耳语道。 —

“How do you know?” she asked quickly, as though suddenly regaining her reason.
“你怎么知道？”她问得很快，仿佛突然恢复了理智。

Sonia’s face grew paler and paler, and she breathed painfully.
索尼娅的脸越来越苍白，呼吸困难。

“I know.”
“我知道。”

She paused a minute.
她停顿了一分钟。

“Have they found him?” she asked timidly.
“他们找到他了吗？”她小心翼翼地问道。

“No.”
“没有。”

“Then how do you know about /it/?” she asked again, hardly audibly and again after a minute’s pause.
“那你怎么知道这件事？”她再次问道，声音几乎听不见，再过一分钟后又停顿了。

He turned to her and looked very intently at her.
他转向她，目光非常专注地看着她。

“Guess,” he said, with the same distorted helpless smile.
“猜猜看，”他说，带着同样扭曲无助的微笑。

A shudder passed over her.
一阵颤栗传过她的身体。

“But you … why do you frighten me like this?” she said, smiling like a child.
“但是你……为什么要吓唬我呢？”她像个孩子般笑着说。

“I must be a great friend of /his/ … —
“我一定是他的一个很好的朋友，因为我知道,” —

since I know,” Raskolnikov went on, still gazing into her face, as though he could not turn his eyes away. —
拉斯科尔尼科夫继续盯着她的脸，好像无法移开目光。 —

“He … did not mean to kill that Lizaveta … he … killed her accidentally… . —
“他……并不是有意要杀那个丽扎维塔……他……是意外杀了她……” —

He meant to kill the old woman when she was alone and he went there … —
“他本来是要等那个老太太独自一人时去杀她……” —

and then Lizaveta came in … he killed her too.”
“然后丽扎维塔进来了……他也杀了她。”

Another awful moment passed. Both still gazed at one another.
又一个可怕的时刻过去了。两人仍然互相凝视着。

“You can’t guess, then?” he asked suddenly, feeling as though he were flinging himself down from a steeple.
“你猜不到吗？”他突然问道，感觉自己仿佛在从一座教堂塔上扑向下坠。

“N-no …” whispered Sonia.
“N-不……”索尼娅低声说道。

“Take a good look.”
“仔细地看吧。”

As soon as he had said this again, the same familiar sensation froze his heart. —
他再次说完这句话后，同样熟悉的感觉又让他的心一寒。 —

He looked at her and all at once seemed to see in her face the face of Lizaveta. —
他看着她，突然似乎在她的脸上看到了丽扎维塔的脸。 —

He remembered clearly the expression in Lizaveta’s face, when he approached her with the axe and she stepped back to the wall, putting out her hand, with childish terror in her face, looking as little children do when they begin to be frightened of something, looking intently and uneasily at what frightens them, shrinking back and holding out their little hands on the point of crying. —
他清晰地记得当他拿着斧头走向她时，丽扎维塔脸上的表情——她后退到墙边，伸出手掌，脸上带着孩子般的恐惧，就像孩子们刚开始对某事感到害怕时那样，专注而不安地看着吓唬他们的东西，缩回去并伸出小手，快要哭了。 —

Almost the same thing happened now to Sonia. With the same helplessness and the same terror, she looked at him for a while and, suddenly putting out her left hand, pressed her fingers faintly against his breast and slowly began to get up from the bed, moving further from him and keeping her eyes fixed even more immovably on him. —
现在索尼娅也发生了几乎同样的事情。她无助又恐惧地盯着他，突然伸出左手，轻轻地抚摸了一下他的胸膛，缓慢地从床上坐了起来，离他更远，并将目光更加坚定地盯着他。 —

Her terror infected him. The same fear showed itself on his face. —
她的恐惧感染了他。同样的恐惧出现在他的脸上。 —

In the same way he stared at her and almost with the same /childish/ smile.
他用同样的方式盯着她，几乎带着同样的孩子般的微笑。

“Have you guessed?” he whispered at last.
“你猜到了吗？”他最终轻声说道。

“Good God!” broke in an awful wail from her bosom.
她的胸口发出一声可怕的哀嚎。

She sank helplessly on the bed with her face in the pillows, but a moment later she got up, moved quickly to him, seized both his hands and, gripping them tight in her thin fingers, began looking into his face again with the same intent stare. —
她无助地倒在床上，脸埋在枕头里，但一会儿后，她站了起来，迅速走向他，紧紧抓住他的双手，用纤细的手指死死地捏着，再次带着那种专注的目光盯着他的脸。 —

In this last desperate look she tried to look into him and catch some last hope. —
在这最后的绝望凝望中，她努力想要看透他，抓住一丝希望。 —

But there was no hope; there was no doubt remaining; it was all true! —
但没有希望；没有疑虑剩余；一切都是真的！ —

Later on, indeed, when she recalled that moment, she thought it strange and wondered why she had seen at once that there was no doubt. —
后来，事实上，当她回想起那一刻时，她觉得很奇怪，不知道为什么她立即知道没有疑虑。 —

She could not have said, for instance, that she had foreseen something of the sort–and yet now, as soon as he told her, she suddenly fancied that she had really foreseen this very thing.
她无法说，比如，她曾预见到了类似的事情–但是现在，当他告诉她时，她突然想象自己真的预见到了这件事。

“Stop, Sonia, enough! don’t torture me,” he begged her miserably.
“索尼娅，停下，够了！不要折磨我，”他悲惨地求她。

It was not at all, not at all like this he had thought of telling her, but this is how it happened.
他想告诉她的绝对不是这样的，绝不是这样的，但事情却发生了这样的变化。

She jumped up, seeming not to know what she was doing, and, wringing her hands, walked into the middle of the room; —
她跳了起来，似乎不知道自己在做什么，双手握紧，走到房间中间； —

but quickly went back and sat down again beside him, her shoulder almost touching his. —
但很快又回去坐在他身边，几乎是肩并肩的。 —

All of a sudden she started as though she had been stabbed, uttered a cry and fell on her knees before him, she did not know why.
突然间，她像是被刺了一样，发出了一声尖叫，跪在他面前，她不知道为什么。

“What have you done–what have you done to yourself?” —
“你做了什么–你对自己做了什么？” —

she said in despair, and, jumping up, she flung herself on his neck, threw her arms round him, and held him tightly.
她绝望地说着，然后跳起来，扑到他的颈项，搂住他，深深地保持着。

Raskolnikov drew back and looked at her with a mournful smile.
拉斯科尔尼科夫退了回去，用悲哀的微笑看着她。

“You are a strange girl, Sonia–you kiss me and hug me when I tell you about that. —
“你是个奇怪的女孩，索尼娅——当我告诉你那件事时，你却亲吻我，拥抱我。 —

… You don’t think what you are doing.”
… 你都没有考虑自己在做什么。”

“There is no one–no one in the whole world now so unhappy as you!” —
“现在再也没有人——整个世界里再也没有比你更不幸的人了！” —

she cried in a frenzy, not hearing what he said, and she suddenly broke into violent hysterical weeping.
她狂乱地喊着，根本听不见他说的话，突然爆发出剧烈的歇斯底里哭泣。

A feeling long unfamiliar to him flooded his heart and softened it at once. —
一种他久未体会过的感情涌入他的心中，立刻让他变得温和起来。 —

He did not struggle against it. Two tears started into his eyes and hung on his eyelashes.
他没有抗拒这种感情。两颗眼泪落在他眼睫上。

“Then you won’t leave me, Sonia?” he said, looking at her almost with hope.
“那么你不会离开我，索尼娅？”他几乎带着希望地看着她说。

“No, no, never, nowhere!” cried Sonia. “I will follow you, I will follow you everywhere. —
“不，不，永远不会，任何地方！”索尼娅喊道。“我会跟随你，我会无论何处跟随你。 —

Oh, my God! Oh, how miserable I am! … —
哦，我的上帝！哦，我有多么不幸！… —

Why, why didn’t I know you before! Why didn’t you come before? Oh, dear!”
为什么，为什么我不早点认识你！为什么你不早点来！噢，亲爱的！”

“Here I have come.”
“我现在来了。”

“Yes, now! What’s to be done now? … Together, together!” —
“是的，现在！现在该怎么办？… 一起，一起！” —

she repeated as it were unconsciously, and she hugged him again. —
她几乎是下意识地重复着，并再次拥抱他。 —

“I’ll follow you to Siberia!”
“我会跟着你去西伯利亚！”

He recoiled at this, and the same hostile, almost haughty smile came to his lips.
他对此感到厌恶，一样敌意的、几乎傲慢的微笑浮现在他的嘴唇上。

“Perhaps I don’t want to go to Siberia yet, Sonia,” he said.
“也许我还不想去西伯利亚，索尼娅，”他说。

Sonia looked at him quickly.
索尼娅迅速地看了他一眼。

Again after her first passionate, agonising sympathy for the unhappy man the terrible idea of the murder overwhelmed her. —
在对那个不幸男人的第一次激烈、痛苦的同情之后，谋杀的可怕想法又让她不知所措。 —

In his changed tone she seemed to hear the murderer speaking. She looked at him bewildered. —
在他变了调的声音中，她仿佛听见了杀人犯在说话。她困惑地望着他。 —

She knew nothing as yet, why, how, with what object it had been. —
她还一无所知，为什么，如何，出于什么目的。 —

Now all these questions rushed at once into her mind. —
现在所有这些问题一下子涌入她的脑海。 —

And again she could not believe it: “He, he is a murderer! Could it be true?”
再次她无法相信：“他，他是个杀人犯！这可能是真的吗？”

“What’s the meaning of it? Where am I?” she said in complete bewilderment, as though still unable to recover herself. —
“这是什么意思？我在哪里？”她完全困惑地说，仿佛仍然无法恢复过来。 —

“How could you, you, a man like you… . —
“你怎么能够，你，一个像你这样的人……” —

How could you bring yourself to it? … —
“你怎么能够做到？……这是什么意思？” —

What does it mean?”
“哦，好吧——抢劫。别再说了，索尼娅，”他厌倦地回答。

“Oh, well–to plunder. Leave off, Sonia,” he answered wearily, almost with vexation.
索尼娅站在那里像是哑口无言，但突然她喊道：

Sonia stood as though struck dumb, but suddenly she cried:
“你饿了！这……是为了帮助你母亲吗？是吗？”

“You were hungry! It was … to help your mother? Yes?”
“不，索尼娅，不是的，”他喃喃自语着，转身扭头。“我并不是那么饥饿……”

“No, Sonia, no,” he muttered, turning away and hanging his head. “I was not so hungry… . —
“不要……” —

I certainly did want to help my mother, but … —
我当然是想帮助我母亲的，但是… —

that’s not the real thing either… . Don’t torture me, Sonia.”
那也不是真相。… 不要折磨我，索尼娅。

Sonia clasped her hands.
索尼娅紧握双手。

“Could it, could it all be true? Good God, what a truth! Who could believe it? —
“难道，难道这一切都是真的吗? 天啊，这是一个真相! 谁会相信呢？ —

And how could you give away your last farthing and yet rob and murder! —
你怎么能把你的最后一分钱施舍出去，却又去抢劫和谋杀呢! —

Ah,” she cried suddenly, “that money you gave Katerina Ivanovna . —
啊，”她突然喊道，“你给卡捷琳娜·伊万诺夫娜那笔钱… —

. . that money… . Can that money …”
… 那笔钱… . 那笔钱…”

“No, Sonia,” he broke in hurriedly, “that money was not it. Don’t worry yourself! —
“不，索尼娅，”他急忙打断她，“那不是那笔钱。别担心! —

That money my mother sent me and it came when I was ill, the day I gave it to you… . —
那笔钱是我母亲寄给我的，那天我病了，就是那天我给了你… —

Razumihin saw it … he received it for me… . —
拉祖米欣看到了… 他代我收了… —

That money was mine–my own.”
那笔钱是我的，是我自己的.”

Sonia listened to him in bewilderment and did her utmost to comprehend.
索尼娅听着他，不知所措，尽力理解。

“And /that/ money… . I don’t even know really whether there was any money,” he added softly, as though reflecting. —
“那个… 那笔钱… 我甚至不确定那里是否有钱，”他轻声补充道，仿佛在反思。 —

“I took a purse off her neck, made of chamois leather … a purse stuffed full of something … —
“我从她的脖子上拿了一个用麂皮制成的钱袋… 里面塞满了什么东西… —

but I didn’t look in it; I suppose I hadn’t time… . —
但我没看里面；我想我没时间… . —

And the things–chains and trinkets–I buried under a stone with the purse next morning in a yard off the V—- Prospect. —
第二天早上，我在V区的一个院子里用石头把那些东西–链子和小饰品–和钱包埋了起来。 —

They are all there now… . .”
现在它们全都在那里……

Sonia strained every nerve to listen.
索尼娅竭尽全力倾听。

“Then why … why, you said you did it to rob, but you took nothing?” —
“那为什么……为什么，你说你那样做是为了抢劫，但你什么都没拿？” —

she asked quickly, catching at a straw.
她迅速问道，抓住一根头发一样的稻草。

“I don’t know… . I haven’t yet decided whether to take that money or not,” he said, musing again; —
“我不知道……我还没有决定要不要拿那笔钱，”他又陷入沉思； —

and, seeming to wake up with a start, he gave a brief ironical smile. —
然后，似乎惊醒，他苦笑了一下。 —

“Ach, what silly stuff I am talking, eh?”
“啊，我在说些愚蠢的东西，是吧？”

The thought flashed through Sonia’s mind, wasn’t he mad? But she dismissed it at once. —
索尼娅脑海中闪过一个念头，他不是疯了吗？但她立刻摒弃了这个想法。 —

“No, it was something else.” She could make nothing of it, nothing.
“不，是其他事情。” 她对此毫无头绪。

“Do you know, Sonia,” he said suddenly with conviction, “let me tell you: —
“你知道吗，索尼娅,” 他突然坚定地说道，”让我告诉你：” —

if I’d simply killed because I was hungry,” laying stress on every word and looking enigmatically but sincerely at her, “I should be /happy/ now. —
“如果我只是因为饥饿而杀人的话，” 他着重每个词并神秘地但真诚地看着她，”我现在应该很快乐。 —

You must believe that! What would it matter to you,” he cried a moment later with a sort of despair, “what would it matter to you if I were to confess that I did wrong? —
你必须相信这一点！如果我承认我做错了，” 他过了一会儿绝望地喊道，”这对你有什么影响呢？ —

What do you gain by such a stupid triumph over me? —
你通过这样愚蠢地战胜我得到了什么？ —

Ah, Sonia, was it for that I’ve come to you to-day?”
啊，索尼娅，难道我今天来找你就是为了这个吗？”

Again Sonia tried to say something, but did not speak.
索尼娅又试图说些什么，但最终没开口。

“I asked you to go with me yesterday because you are all I have left.”
“我昨天让你跟我去是因为你是我唯一剩下的人了。”

“Go where?” asked Sonia timidly.
“去哪里？” 索尼娅胆怯地问道。

“Not to steal and not to murder, don’t be anxious,” he smiled bitterly. “We are so different… . —
“不是去偷和去杀人，不用担心，” 他苦笑着说。”我们是如此不同…… —

And you know, Sonia, it’s only now, only this moment that I understand /where/ I asked you to go with me yesterday! —
你知道，索尼娅，直到现在，就在这个瞬间我才明白昨天向你提出去哪里！ —

Yesterday when I said it I did not know where. —
昨天当我说出来时我并不知道去哪里。 —

I asked you for one thing, I came to you for one thing–not to leave me. —
我向你请求了一件事，我来找你是为了一件事——不要离开我。” —

You won’t leave me, Sonia?”
你不会离开我，索尼娅？

She squeezed his hand.
她紧紧握住他的手。

“And why, why did I tell her? Why did I let her know?” —
“为什么，为什么我告诉她？为什么我让她知道？” —

he cried a minute later in despair, looking with infinite anguish at her. —
他绝望地哭泣，无限痛苦地看着她。 —

“Here you expect an explanation from me, Sonia; you are sitting and waiting for it, I see that. —
“索尼娅，你在这里等我给你一个解释，我明白。但我能告诉你什么呢？你不会理解，只会因我而痛苦……” —

But what can I tell you? You won’t understand and will only suffer misery … on my account! —
“你又在哭泣，又在拥抱我。你为什么这样做呢？” —

Well, you are crying and embracing me again. Why do you do it? —
“好吧，你在等我给你一个解释，索尼娅；我看得出来。但我能告诉你什么呢？你不会理解，只会因我而受苦……” —

Because I couldn’t bear my burden and have come to throw it on another: —
因为我无法承担我的负担，所以来找个人扔给他： —

you suffer too, and I shall feel better! —
你也在受苦，我会感觉好一些！ —

And can you love such a mean wretch?”
你能爱一个这样卑鄙的恶汉吗？”

“But aren’t you suffering, too?” cried Sonia.
“你不也在受苦吗？”索尼娅大声说道。

Again a wave of the same feeling surged into his heart, and again for an instant softened it.
再次涌上他心头的同样感觉，再次在瞬间软化了他的心。

“Sonia, I have a bad heart, take note of that. It may explain a great deal. —
“索尼娅，我心肠恶毒，要记住这点。这或许能解释很多事情。 —

I have come because I am bad. There are men who wouldn’t have come. But I am a coward and … —
我来了是因为我很坏。有些人是不会来的。但我是一个懦夫，而且……” —

a mean wretch. But … never mind! That’s not the point. —
一个卑鄙的家伙。不过…别在意！那不是重点。 —

I must speak now, but I don’t know how to begin.”
我必须说话了，但不知道从何开始。

He paused and sank into thought.
他停下来陷入了沉思。

“Ach, we are so different,” he cried again, “we are not alike. —
“啊，我们是如此不同，”他再次喊道，”我们并不相似。 —

And why, why did I come? I shall never forgive myself that.”
为什么，为什么我来了？我永远都不会原谅自己的。

“No, no, it was a good thing you came,” cried Sonia. “It’s better I should know, far better!”
“不，不，你来是对的，”索尼娅喊道。“我更好知道，好得多！”

He looked at her with anguish.
他痛苦地看着她。

“What if it were really that?” he said, as though reaching a conclusion. “Yes, that’s what it was! —
“如果事实真的是那样呢？”他说，仿佛得出结论。“是的，就是那样！ —

I wanted to become a Napoleon, that is why I killed her. —
我想要成为拿破仑，所以我才杀了她。 —

… Do you understand now?”
你现在明白了吗？

“N-no,” Sonia whispered naively and timidly. —
索尼娅轻声、天真地低语道。 —

“Only speak, speak, I shall understand, I shall understand /in myself/!” —
求求你，说话，我会明白的，我会在自己里明白的！ —

she kept begging him.
她不停地求他。

“You’ll understand? Very well, we shall see!” He paused and was for some time lost in meditation.
“就像这样：有一天，我问自己一个问题—如果拿破仑，比如说，假设他取代了我的位置，如果他没有托龙，也没有埃及，更没有蒙布朗峡，没有那些风景优美而又具有纪念价值的事情，而只是一位可笑的老婆婆，一个当要杀害为了从她的箱子里拿钱（你明白，为了他的事业）。

“It was like this: I asked myself one day this question–what if Napoleon, for instance, had happened to be in my place, and if he had not had Toulon nor Egypt nor the passage of Mont Blanc to begin his career with, but instead of all those picturesque and monumental things, there had simply been some ridiculous old hag, a pawnbroker, who had to be murdered too to get money from her trunk (for his career, you understand). —
我们就看看这个例子会怎样影响他的事业. —

Well, would he have brought himself to that if there had been no other means? —
那么，如果没有其他途径，他会自己陷入其中吗？ —

Wouldn’t he have felt a pang at its being so far from monumental and … and sinful, too? —
他会不会为它与纪念性乏善感而感到一丝刺痛…还有…罪恶？ —

Well, I must tell you that I worried myself fearfully over that ‘question’ so that I was awfully ashamed when I guessed at last (all of a sudden, somehow) that it would not have given him the least pang, that it would not even have struck him that it was not monumental . —
那么，我必须告诉你，我对那个“问题”忧心忧虑，以至于最后我猜到（突然间，不知何故），他根本不会感到一丝刺痛，甚至根本没有注意到它不具有纪念性。 —

. . that he would not have seen that there was anything in it to pause over, and that, if he had had no other way, he would have strangled her in a minute without thinking about it! —
他会不会看到其中有什么需要停顿的地方，如果没有其他办法，他会毫不犹豫地在一分钟内勒死她而毫不动容！ —

Well, I too … left off thinking about it … murdered her, following his example. —
那么，我也…放弃了对这个问题的思考…杀死了她，仿效他的行为。 —

And that’s exactly how it was! Do you think it funny? —
事情就是这样！你觉得好笑吗？ —

Yes, Sonia, the funniest thing of all is that perhaps that’s just how it was.”
是的，索尼娅，最有趣的事情也许就是这样。

Sonia did not think it at all funny.
索尼娅一点也不觉得好笑。

“You had better tell me straight out … —
你最好直截了当地告诉我… —

without examples,” she begged, still more timidly and scarcely audibly.
不要举例子，”她恳求，声音更加胆怯，几乎听不见。

He turned to her, looked sadly at her and took her hands.
他转向她，悲伤地看着她，握住她的手。

“You are right again, Sonia. Of course that’s all nonsense, it’s almost all talk! —
“索尼娅，你又对了。当然，那基本都是废话，几乎全是空谈！ —

You see, you know of course that my mother has scarcely anything, my sister happened to have a good education and was condemned to drudge as a governess. —
你知道，我母亲几乎一无所有，我姐姐恰好接受了良好的教育，被迫担任家庭教师。 —

All their hopes were centered on me. I was a student, but I couldn’t keep myself at the university and was forced for a time to leave it. —
他们所有的希望都寄托在我身上。我是一个学生，但我无法在大学里维持自己，不得不暂时离开。 —

Even if I had lingered on like that, in ten or twelve years I might (with luck) hope to be some sort of teacher or clerk with a salary of a thousand roubles” (he repeated it as though it were a lesson) “and by that time my mother would be worn out with grief and anxiety and I could not succeed in keeping her in comfort while my sister . —
即使我像那样逗留下去，十二年后，也许（有幸的话）希望成为某种带着一千卢布的薪水的教师或职员” （他像背功课一样重复说），“到那时我的母亲会因为忧虑和焦虑而疲惫不堪，我无法使她过上舒适的生活，而我姐… —

. . well, my sister might well have fared worse! —
嗯，我的妹妹可能会有更糟的遭遇！ —

And it’s a hard thing to pass everything by all one’s life, to turn one’s back upon everything, to forget one’s mother and decorously accept the insults inflicted on one’s sister. —
把一切都不说、背弃一生，对母亲无视，忍受姐妹受辱，这是一件艰难的事情。 —

Why should one? When one has buried them to burden oneself with others–wife and children–and to leave them again without a farthing? —
为什么要这样？埋葬了过去还要负担起别人–妻子和孩子–然后再一无所有？ —

So I resolved to gain possession of the old woman’s money and to use it for my first years without worrying my mother, to keep myself at the university and for a little while after leaving it–and to do this all on a broad, thorough scale, so as to build up a completely new career and enter upon a new life of independence. —
所以我决定拿到老太婆的钱，不让母亲担心，自己在大学保持生计并毕业后的一段时间里–这样做，以便建立一个全新的事业，开始一种独立的生活。 —

… Well … that’s all… . Well, of course in killing the old woman I did wrong. —
…嗯…就是这样… 唔，在杀死那老太婆的时候我犯了错。 —

… Well, that’s enough.”
…嗯，就这些吧。

He struggled to the end of his speech in exhaustion and let his head sink.
他筋疲力尽地说完了发言，然后低下头。

“Oh, that’s not it, that’s not it,” Sonia cried in distress. —
“哦，不是这样，不是这样，”索尼娅慌张地喊道。 —

“How could one … no, that’s not right, not right.”
“怎么会…不，不对，不对。”

“You see yourself that it’s not right. But I’ve spoken truly, it’s the truth.”
“你自己看，这不对。但我说的是实话。”

“As though that could be the truth! Good God!”
“怎么可能是实话！天哪！”

“I’ve only killed a louse, Sonia, a useless, loathsome, harmful creature.”
“我只是杀了一只虱子，索尼娅，一个无用的、讨厌的、有害的生灵。”

“A human being–a louse!”
“一个人类–一个虱子！”

“I too know it wasn’t a louse,” he answered, looking strangely at her. —
“我也知道那不是虱子，”他奇怪地看着她回答道。 —

“But I am talking nonsense, Sonia,” he added. “I’ve been talking nonsense a long time… . —
“但我在胡说八道，索尼娅，” 他补充说。“我很久以来都在说胡话… .“. —

That’s not it, you are right there. There were quite, quite other causes for it! —
这不是的，你说得对。这背后有着完全不同的原因！ —

I haven’t talked to anyone for so long, Sonia… . —
索尼娅，我好久没有和任何人说过话了…… —

My head aches dreadfully now.”
现在我的头疼得厉害。

His eyes shone with feverish brilliance. He was almost delirious; —
他的眼睛闪烁着发热的光辉。他几乎是神志不清的； —

an uneasy smile strayed on his lips. His terrible exhaustion could be seen through his excitement. —
一个不安的微笑挂在他的嘴角。他的可怕疲惫透过兴奋显现出来。 —

Sonia saw how he was suffering. She too was growing dizzy. And he talked so strangely; —
索尼娅看到他在受苦。她也感到头晕目眩。而他说话的样子如此奇怪； —

it seemed somehow comprehensible, but yet … “But how, how! —
在某种程度上似乎让人理解，但是……“但是怎么会呢！ —

Good God!” And she wrung her hands in despair.
天啊！”她绝望地握着手。

“No, Sonia, that’s not it,” he began again suddenly, raising his head, as though a new and sudden train of thought had struck and as it were roused him–“that’s not it! —
“不，索尼娅，这不是。”他突然又开始了，抬起头，仿佛被碰到了新的突如其来的思路，让他有了些许回神的迹象——“不是那样！ —

Better … imagine–yes, it’s certainly better–imagine that I am vain, envious, malicious, base, vindictive and . —
更好……想象一下吧，是的，肯定更好——想象我自负、嫉妒、恶毒、卑劣、报复心强还有…… —

. . well, perhaps with a tendency to insanity. (Let’s have it all out at once! —
嗯，或许有点疯狂的倾向。(一次性说个明白！ —

They’ve talked of madness already, I noticed. —
他们已经提到过疯狂，我注意到了。 —

) I told you just now I could not keep myself at the university. —
) 我刚才告诉你我无法留在大学。 —

But do you know that perhaps I might have done? —
但你知道吗，也许我本来可以留下来？ —

My mother would have sent me what I needed for the fees and I could have earned enough for clothes, boots and food, no doubt. —
我妈妈会寄给我所需的学费，我可以自己赚够钱买衣服、鞋子和吃的，毫无疑问。 —

Lessons had turned up at half a rouble. Razumihin works! But I turned sulky and wouldn’t. —
课收费涨到了半卢布。拉祖米欣在工作！但我变得愠怒，不肯去。 —

(Yes, sulkiness, that’s the right word for it!) I sat in my room like a spider. —
（是的，愠怒，这个词用得很对！）我像只蜘蛛一样坐在自己的房间里。 —

You’ve been in my den, you’ve seen it… . —
你曾经来过我的巢穴，你见过它…… —

And do you know, Sonia, that low ceilings and tiny rooms cramp the soul and the mind? —
而且，索尼娅，你知道吗，低矮的天花板和狭小的房间会压抑灵魂和思想吗？ —

Ah, how I hated that garret! And yet I wouldn’t go out of it! I wouldn’t on purpose! —
啊，我多么讨厌那个阁楼！但我却不肯离开！我故意不肯离开！ —

I didn’t go out for days together, and I wouldn’t work, I wouldn’t even eat, I just lay there doing nothing. —
几天都不出门，我甚至不肯工作，不肯吃饭，就这样躺在那里什么也不做。 —

If Nastasya brought me anything, I ate it, if she didn’t, I went all day without; —
如果娜斯塔西娅给我送吃的，我就吃，如果没有，我整天都不吃； —

I wouldn’t ask, on purpose, from sulkiness! —
我愠怒地不肯开口问要吃的！ —

At night I had no light, I lay in the dark and I wouldn’t earn money for candles. —
晚上没有灯光，我躺在黑暗里，我故意不肯去挣点钱买蜡烛。 —

I ought to have studied, but I sold my books; —
我本该学习，但却卖掉了我的书； —

and the dust lies an inch thick on the notebooks on my table. I preferred lying still and thinking. —
书桌上的笔记本上积了厚厚一层灰。我宁愿仰面躺着想事情。 —

And I kept thinking… . And I had dreams all the time, strange dreams of all sorts, no need to describe! —
我不停地思考……我整天做梦，各种各样的奇怪梦，不用描述！ —

Only then I began to fancy that … No, that’s not it! Again I am telling you wrong! —
那时，我开始幻想……不，不是这样！我又说错了！ —

You see I kept asking myself then: why am I so stupid that if others are stupid–and I know they are–yet I won’t be wiser? —
你看，我当时不停地问自己：为什么我这么笨，明明别人笨—我知道他们笨—却不肯变聪明？ —

Then I saw, Sonia, that if one waits for everyone to get wiser it will take too long… . —
后来我意识到，如果等着每个人都变聪明，时间会太长…… —

Afterwards I understood that that would never come to pass, that men won’t change and that nobody can alter it and that it’s not worth wasting effort over it. —
后来我明白了，那永远不会发生，人是不会改变的，也没有人能改变它，不值得为此浪费精力。 —

Yes, that’s so. That’s the law of their nature, Sonia, … that’s so! … —
是的，索尼娅，那就是他们的本性，是的！ —

And I know now, Sonia, that whoever is strong in mind and spirit will have power over them. —
我现在知道，无论谁心思坚强，谁精神强大，都将掌握权力。 —

Anyone who is greatly daring is right in their eyes. —
敢于冒险的人在他们眼中是对的。 —

He who despises most things will be a lawgiver among them and he who dares most of all will be most in the right! —
最鄙视一切的人将成为他们中的立法者，最敢于冒一切风险的人将是最正确的！ —

So it has been till now and so it will always be. —
至今如此，将来也会如此。 —

A man must be blind not to see it!”
一个人必须是盲人才看不到这一点！

Though Raskolnikov looked at Sonia as he said this, he no longer cared whether she understood or not. —
虽然拉斯科尔尼科夫边说着边看着索尼娅，他已经不在乎她是否理解。 —

The fever had complete hold of him; he was in a sort of gloomy ecstasy (he certainly had been too long without talking to anyone). —
狂热已经完全控制着他；他处于一种阴郁的狂喜中（他确实已经很久没有和任何人说话了）。 —

Sonia felt that his gloomy creed had become his faith and code.
索尼娅感到他那阴郁的信条已经成为他的信仰和准则。

“I divined then, Sonia,” he went on eagerly, “that power is only vouchsafed to the man who dares to stoop and pick it up. —
“我当时就揣摩到了，索尼娅，”他急切地继续说，“只有敢于弯腰捡起力量的人才会获得它。 —

There is only one thing, one thing needful: one has only to dare! —
只有一件事，一件必须的事：只需要敢！ —

Then for the first time in my life an idea took shape in my mind which no one had ever thought of before me, no one! —
那时，我生命中第一次有了一个思想，之前从未有人想到过，没有人！ —

I saw clear as daylight how strange it is that not a single person living in this mad world has had the daring to go straight for it all and send it flying to the devil! —
我清楚地看到，多么奇怪，这个疯狂的世界里竟没有一个人敢直捣黄龙，将其一网打尽！ —

I … I wanted /to have the daring/ … and I killed her. —
我……我渴望/有勇气……于是我杀了她。 —

I only wanted to have the daring, Sonia! —
我只是想要变得大胆，索尼娅！ —

That was the whole cause of it!”
这就是整个的原因！”

“Oh hush, hush,” cried Sonia, clasping her hands. —
“哦，安静，安静，”索尼娅双手紧握着说。 —

“You turned away from God and God has smitten you, has given you over to the devil!”
“你背弃了上帝，上帝将你击倒，把你交给了魔鬼！”

“Then Sonia, when I used to lie there in the dark and all this became clear to me, was it a temptation of the devil, eh?”
“那么，索尼娅，当我躺在黑暗中，这一切对我变得清楚的时候，这是魔鬼的诱惑吗？”

“Hush, don’t laugh, blasphemer! You don’t understand, you don’t understand! —
“安静，别笑，亵渎者！你不明白，你不明白！ —

Oh God! He won’t understand!”
天哪！他无法理解！”

“Hush, Sonia! I am not laughing. I know myself that it was the devil leading me. Hush, Sonia, hush!” —
“安静，索尼娅！我不是在笑。我知道我被魔鬼引导了。安静，索尼娅，安静！” —

he repeated with gloomy insistence. “I know it all, I have thought it all over and over and whispered it all over to myself, lying there in the dark. —
他沉重地重复着。“我知道一切，我反复思考过并在黑暗中一个人喃喃自语过。 —

… I’ve argued it all over with myself, every point of it, and I know it all, all! —
…我已经反复与自己辩论，每一点，我知道了一切，全部都知道了！ —

And how sick, how sick I was then of going over it all! —
我那时是如何病态，是多么病态啊，每次都要反复思考！ —

I have kept wanting to forget it and make a new beginning, Sonia, and leave off thinking. —
我一直希望忘记，重新开始，离开这样的思考。 —

And you don’t suppose that I went into it headlong like a fool? —
你不要以为我像傻瓜一样头脑发热冲动进去的吧？ —

I went into it like a wise man, and that was just my destruction. —
我进去是一个明智之举，但那正是我的毁灭。 —

And you mustn’t suppose that I didn’t know, for instance, that if I began to question myself whether I had the right to gain power–I certainly hadn’t the right–or that if I asked myself whether a human being is a louse it proved that it wasn’t so for me, though it might be for a man who would go straight to his goal without asking questions. —
你不要以为我不知道，比如，如果我开始质疑自己是否有权力获取权力-我当然没有那种权力-或者如果我询问自己一个人是否是一只虱子，这并不意味着对我而言不是，尽管对一个直奔目标而不加思考的人来说可能是这样。” —

… If I worried myself all those days, wondering whether Napoleon would have done it or not, I felt clearly of course that I wasn’t Napoleon. —
… 如果那些日子里我担心自己，不知道拿破仑是否会这样做，我清楚地感到我当然不是拿破仑。 —

I had to endure all the agony of that battle of ideas, Sonia, and I longed to throw it off: —
索尼娅，我不得不忍受所有那场思想之战的痛苦，我渴望摆脱它： —

I wanted to murder without casuistry, to murder for my own sake, for myself alone! —
我想要杀人，没有伪善，为了我的利益，只为我一个人！ —

I didn’t want to lie about it even to myself. —
我不想对自己说谎。 —

It wasn’t to help my mother I did the murder–that’s nonsense –I didn’t do the murder to gain wealth and power and to become a benefactor of mankind. —
我犯罪不是为了帮助我母亲–那是胡说八道–我犯罪不是为了获得财富和权力，成为人类的恩人。 —

Nonsense! I simply did it; I did the murder for myself, for myself alone, and whether I became a benefactor to others, or spent my life like a spider catching men in my web and sucking the life out of men, I couldn’t have cared at that moment. —
胡说！我只是做了这件事；我犯罪是为了我自己，仅为了我自己，无论我是否成为他人的恩人，或像蜘蛛一样在网中捕捉人并吸食他们的生命，当时我根本不能在意。 —

… And it was not the money I wanted, Sonia, when I did it. —
… 当时我做罪行并不是为了钱，索尼娅。 —

It was not so much the money I wanted, but something else… . I know it all now… . —
当时我需要的不是那么多的钱，而是其他什么。我现在都明白了。 —

Understand me! Perhaps I should never have committed a murder again. —
理解我！也许我不会再次犯罪。 —

I wanted to find out something else; it was something else led me on. —
当时我想找出其他事情；是其他事情引导着我。 —

I wanted to find out then and quickly whether I was a louse like everybody else or a man. —
我当时想快速发现自己是像所有人一样的虱子还是一个人。 —

Whether I can step over barriers or not, whether I dare stoop to pick up or not, whether I am a trembling creature or whether I have the /right/ …”
我能否跨越障碍，是否敢弯腰捡起东西，我是一个颤抖的生物还是我有权利…

“To kill? Have the right to kill?” Sonia clasped her hands.
“去杀人？有权利去杀人吗？”索尼娅双手合十。

“Ach, Sonia!” he cried irritably and seemed about to make some retort, but was contemptuously silent. —
“啊，索尼娅！”他愤怒地喊着，似乎要做出回应，但以轻蔑的沉默作罢。 —

“Don’t interrupt me, Sonia. I want to prove one thing only, that the devil led me on then and he has shown me since that I had not the right to take that path, because I am just such a louse as all the rest. —
“不要打断我，索尼娅。我只想证明一件事，那就是魔鬼当时引导着我，而他后来告诉我，我没有权利选择那条道路，因为我和其他人一样是虱子。” —

He was mocking me and here I’ve come to you now! Welcome your guest! —
他当初是在嘲笑我，现在我却来找你了！欢迎你的客人！ —

If I were not a louse, should I have come to you? Listen: —
如果我不是一只恶虫，我会来找你吗？听着： —

when I went then to the old woman’s I only went to /try/. . —
当我去找那位老妇人的时候，我只是想试试而已。。 —

. . You may be sure of that!”
你可以相信这点！”

“And you murdered her!”
“而你却谋杀了她！”

“But how did I murder her? Is that how men do murders? Do men go to commit a murder as I went then? —
“但我是怎么杀她的呢？男人的杀人行为是这样的吗？我当时去的时候就像杀人一样吗？ —

I will tell you some day how I went! Did I murder the old woman? I murdered myself, not her! —
有一天我会告诉你我是怎么去的！我谋杀的不是那位老妇人，是我自己！ —

I crushed myself once for all, for ever… . —
我一劳永逸地毁了自己。。。 —

But it was the devil that killed that old woman, not I. Enough, enough, Sonia, enough! Let me be!” —
但是杀死那位老妇人的是魔鬼，不是我。够了，够了，索尼娅，够了！让我安静！” —

he cried in a sudden spasm of agony, “let me be!”
他突然痛苦地喊道，“让我安静！”

He leaned his elbows on his knees and squeezed his head in his hands as in a vise.
他用手肘撑在膝盖上，双手紧紧捂住头。

“What suffering!” A wail of anguish broke from Sonia.
“多么痛苦啊！”索尼娅发出一声哀号。

“Well, what am I to do now?” he asked, suddenly raising his head and looking at her with a face hideously distorted by despair.
“那么，现在我该怎么办？”他突然抬起头看着她，脸色被绝望扭曲得面目狰狞。

“What are you to do?” she cried, jumping up, and her eyes that had been full of tears suddenly began to shine. —
“我该做什么？”她大声喊道，跳了起来，原先满是泪水的眼睛突然闪烁起来。 —

“Stand up!” (She seized him by the shoulder, he got up, looking at her almost bewildered. —
“站起来！”（她抓住他的肩膀，他站了起来，几乎有些迷惑地看着她。 —

) “Go at once, this very minute, stand at the cross-roads, bow down, first kiss the earth which you have defiled and then bow down to all the world and say to all men aloud, ‘I am a murderer!’ —
“立刻去，这个时刻，站在十字路口，弯下腰，先亲吻你所亵渎的土地，然后向全世界鞠躬，大声对所有人说，‘我是一个杀人犯！’” —

Then God will send you life again. Will you go, will you go?” —
然后上帝会再次赐予你生命。你会去吗，你会去吗？ —

she asked him, trembling all over, snatching his two hands, squeezing them tight in hers and gazing at him with eyes full of fire.
她颤抖着问道，一把抓住他的双手，紧紧握住，眼睛里闪烁着火焰。

He was amazed at her sudden ecstasy.
他对她突然的狂喜感到惊讶。

“You mean Siberia, Sonia? I must give myself up?” he asked gloomily.
“你是说西伯利亚，索尼娅？我必须自首？”他忧郁地问道。

“Suffer and expiate your sin by it, that’s what you must do.”
“忍受并用它赎罪你的罪，那是你必须做的事。”

“No! I am not going to them, Sonia!”
“不！我不会去找他们，索尼娅！”

“But how will you go on living? What will you live for?” cried Sonia, “how is it possible now? —
“但你将如何继续生活？你还有什么可以活下去的动力？”索尼娅哭道，“现在还有可能吗？ —

Why, how can you talk to your mother? (Oh, what will become of them now?) But what am I saying? —
为什么，你怎么跟你母亲说话？（天啊，他们现在怎么办？）但我在说什么？ —

You have abandoned your mother and your sister already. He has abandoned them already! Oh, God!” —
你已经抛弃了你的母亲和你的姐妹。他已经抛弃了她们！哦，上帝！ —

she cried, “why, he knows it all himself. —
她喊道，“为什么，他自己心知肚明。” —

How, how can he live by himself! What will become of you now?”
他怎么会独自生活！你现在会怎样？”

“Don’t be a child, Sonia,” he said softly. “What wrong have I done them? Why should I go to them? —
“不要像个孩子，索尼娅，”他轻声说道。“我对他们做错了什么？我为什么要去找他们？ —

What should I say to them? That’s only a phantom… . —
我应该对他们说什么？那只是一个幻象…… —

They destroy men by millions themselves and look on it as a virtue. —
他们自己毁灭了数百万人，并把它视为一种美德。 —

They are knaves and scoundrels, Sonia! I am not going to them. —
他们是无赖和恶棍，索尼娅！我不会去找他们的。 —

And what should I say to them–that I murdered her, but did not dare to take the money and hid it under a stone?” —
我应该对他们说什么——我谋杀了她，但没有敢拿走钱，把它藏在石头下？ —

he added with a bitter smile. “Why, they would laugh at me, and would call me a fool for not getting it. —
他苦笑着补充道。“为什么呢，他们会嘲笑我，会说我是个傻瓜，没勇气拿走它。 —

A coward and a fool! They wouldn’t understand and they don’t deserve to understand. —
懦夫和傻瓜！他们不会理解，也不配理解。 —

Why should I go to them? I won’t. Don’t be a child, Sonia… .”
我为什么要去找他们呢？我不会去的。不要孩子气，索尼娅。”

“It will be too much for you to bear, too much!” —
这会让你受不了的，太重了！ —

she repeated, holding out her hands in despairing supplication.
她绝望地伸出双手重复着。

“Perhaps I’ve been unfair to myself,” he observed gloomily, pondering, “perhaps after all I am a man and not a louse and I’ve been in too great a hurry to condemn myself. —
“也许我对自己不公平了。”他忧郁地沉思着，“也许毕竟我是一个人，而不是虱子，我太仓促地定罪了自己。 —

I’ll make another fight for it.”
我将再做一次努力。”

A haughty smile appeared on his lips.
他嘴角露出高傲的微笑。

“What a burden to bear! And your whole life, your whole life!”
“这是多么沉重的负担！而你的整个生活，你的整个生活！”

“I shall get used to it,” he said grimly and thoughtfully. —
“我会习惯的，”他冷酷而思考地说道。 —

“Listen,” he began a minute later, “stop crying, it’s time to talk of the facts: —
“听着，”一分钟后他开始说，“停止哭泣，现在是谈论事实的时候了： —

I’ve come to tell you that the police are after me, on my track… .”
我来告诉你，警察正在追捕我，我被追踪着……”

“Ach!” Sonia cried in terror.
“啊！”索尼娅恐惧地喊道。

“Well, why do you cry out? You want me to go to Siberia and now you are frightened? —
“好吧，你为什么大喊大叫？你想让我去西伯利亚，现在又害怕了？ —

But let me tell you: I shall not give myself up. —
但是让我告诉你：我不会自首的。 —

I shall make a struggle for it and they won’t do anything to me. They’ve no real evidence. —
我会奋起反抗，他们对我没证据。他们的所有所知只有两种解释方式，也就是说我可以把他们的指控转为我的好处，你懂吗？ —

Yesterday I was in great danger and believed I was lost; but to-day things are going better. —
昨天我遇到了巨大危险，以为自己完了；但是今天情况好转了。 —

All the facts they know can be explained two ways, that’s to say I can turn their accusations to my credit, do you understand? —
他们所知的一切都有双重解释，我会转化他们的指控为我的优势，你明白吗？ —

And I shall, for I’ve learnt my lesson. But they will certainly arrest me. —
我会这样做的，因为我已经学到教训。但是他们肯定会逮捕我。 —

If it had not been for something that happened, they would have done so to-day for certain; —
如果不是有些事发生了，他们今天肯定会逮捕我； —

perhaps even now they will arrest me to-day… . But that’s no matter, Sonia; —
也许甚至今天他们会逮捕我……但这无关紧要，索尼娅； —

they’ll let me out again … for there isn’t any real proof against me, and there won’t be, I give you my word for it. —
他们会再次释放我……因为他们对我没有真凭实据，也不会有的，我向你保证。 —

And they can’t convict a man on what they have against me. Enough… . —
他们不能根据他们对我的指控定罪。够了…… —

I only tell you that you may know… . —
我只告诉你是为了让你知道…… —

I will try to manage somehow to put it to my mother and sister so that they won’t be frightened. . —
我将设法把这件事告诉我母亲和妹妹，这样她们就不会害怕…… —

. . My sister’s future is secure, however, now, I believe … and my mother’s must be too… . —
嗯，我相信我妹妹的未来现在是安全的……我母亲的未来也会好起来…… —

Well, that’s all. Be careful, though. Will you come and see me in prison when I am there?”
好了，就这些。但要小心。当我在监狱里的时候，你会来看我吗？”

“Oh, I will, I will.”
“哦，我会，我会。”

They sat side by side, both mournful and dejected, as though they had been cast up by the tempest alone on some deserted shore. —
他们肩并肩坐着，都愁容满面，仿佛被风暴冲上了某个荒凉的海岸。 —

He looked at Sonia and felt how great was her love for him, and strange to say he felt it suddenly burdensome and painful to be so loved. —
他看着索尼娅，感受到了她对他的深厚爱意，可奇怪的是，他突然觉得被如此深爱着是一种负担和痛苦。 —

Yes, it was a strange and awful sensation! —
是的，这是一种奇怪而可怕的感觉！ —

On his way to see Sonia he had felt that all his hopes rested on her; —
在去看索尼娅的路上，他感到所有的希望都寄托在她身上； —

he expected to be rid of at least part of his suffering, and now, when all her heart turned towards him, he suddenly felt that he was immeasurably unhappier than before.
他期待至少能摆脱一部分痛苦，但现在当她内心全然投入他时，他突然感到比以前更加不幸。

“Sonia,” he said, “you’d better not come and see me when I am in prison.”
“索尼娅，”他说，“当我在监狱里的时候你最好不要来看我。”

Sonia did not answer, she was crying. Several minutes passed.
索尼娅没有回答，她在哭泣。过了几分钟。

“Have you a cross on you?” she asked, as though suddenly thinking of it.
“你身上有十字架吗？”她问，仿佛突然想起来。

He did not at first understand the question.
一开始他没有明白这个问题。

“No, of course not. Here, take this one, of cypress wood. —
“没有，当然没有。拿着这个吧，柏树木制的。 —

I have another, a copper one that belonged to Lizaveta. I changed with Lizaveta: —
我还有另一个，是属于丽扎维塔的铜制的。我和丽扎维塔换了： —

she gave me her cross and I gave her my little ikon. I will wear Lizaveta’s now and give you this. —
她给了我她的十字架，我给了她我的小圣像。现在我会戴着丽扎维塔的那个，把这个给你。 —

Take it … it’s mine! It’s mine, you know,” she begged him. —
拿着吧……这是我的！是我的，你知道的，”她恳求着他。 —

“We will go to suffer together, and together we will bear our cross!”
“我们将共同受苦，共同承担我们的十字架！”

“Give it me,” said Raskolnikov.
“给我吧，” 罗季冈诺夫说。

He did not want to hurt her feelings. But immediately he drew back the hand he held out for the cross.
他不想伤害她的感情。但他立刻就把伸出去要十字架的手缩了回去。

“Not now, Sonia. Better later,” he added to comfort her.
“索尼娅，现在不是时候。稍后再说，”他安慰她道。

“Yes, yes, better,” she repeated with conviction, “when you go to meet your suffering, then put it on. —
“是的，是的，等下再说，”她坚定地重复道，”当你去面对你的苦难时，再戴上它。 —

You will come to me, I’ll put it on you, we will pray and go together.”
你来找我，我给你戴上，我们会一起祈祷然后一起走。”

At that moment someone knocked three times at the door.
就在那时，有人在门上敲了三下。

“Sofya Semyonovna, may I come in?” they heard in a very familiar and polite voice.
“索菲亚.谢苗诺芙娜，我可以进来吗？”他们听见一个非常熟悉而有礼貌的声音。

Sonia rushed to the door in a fright. The flaxen head of Mr. Lebeziatnikov appeared at the door.
索尼娅惊慌地冲向门。一个秃头的莱别季亚特尼科夫先生出现在门口。

一,