I went to the door and looked out. It had stopped raining but there was a mist.
我走到门口往外看。雨停了，但雾霭依旧。

“Should we go upstairs?” I asked the priest.
“我们去楼上吗？”我问道神父。

“I can only stay a little while.”
“我只能待一会儿。”

“Come on up.”
“上来吧。”

We climbed the stairs and went into my room. I lay down on Rinaldi’s bed. —
我们爬上楼梯进入我的房间。我躺在Rinaldi的床上。 —

The priest sat on my cot that the orderly had set up. —
神父坐在我的床上，那是勤务兵安排的。 —

It was dark in the room.
房间里很暗。

“Well,” he said, “how are you really?”
“那么,”他说，“你真的怎么样？”

“I’m all right. I’m tired to-night.”
“我还好。今晚有点累。”

“I’m tired too, but from no cause.”
“我也累，但原因不明。”

“What about the war?”
“战争怎么样？”

“I think it will be over soon. I don’t know why, but I feel it.”
“我觉得很快就会结束。我不知道为什么，但我感觉到了。”

“How do you feel it?”
“你是如何感受到的？”

“You know how your major is? Gentle? Many people are like that now.”
“你知道你们的少校是什么样的吧？温和的？现在有很多人都是这样。”

“I feel that way myself,” I said.
“我自己也有同样的感觉，”我说。

“It has been a terrible summer,” said the priest. —
“这个夏天真是糟糕，”牧师说道。 —

He was surer of himself now than when I had gone away. “You cannot believe how it has been. —
他现在比我离开时更加自信。“你无法想象它是怎样的。” —

Except that you have been there and you know how it can be. —
除非你也在那里并且知道它是怎样的。 —

Many people have realized the war this summer. —
许多人意识到了这场夏季的战争。 —

Officers whom I thought could never realize it realize it now.”
我原以为永远不会意识到的军官们现在也意识到了。

“What will happen?” Istroked the blanket with my hand.
“会发生什么？”我用手拍了拍毯子。

“I do not know but I do not think it can go on much longer.”
“我不知道，但我觉得这种情况不可能再持续太久了。”

“What will happen?”
“会发生什么事？”

“They will stop fighting.”
“他们会停止战斗。”

“Who?”
“谁会停止？”

“Both sides.”
“双方。”

“I hope so,” I said.
“希望如此，”我说。

“You don’t believe it?”
“你不相信吗？”

“I don’t believe both sides will stop fighting at once.”
“我不相信双方会同时停止战斗。”

“I suppose not. It is too much to expect. —
“我想是吧。期待太多了。” —

But when I see the changes in men I do not think it can go on.”
但是当我看到男人们的变化我觉得这种情况无法持续下去。

“Who won the fighting this summer?”
“这个夏天谁赢得了战斗？”

“No one.”
“没有人。”

“The Austrians won,” I said. “They kept them from taking San Gabriele. —
“奥地利人赢了，”我说。“他们阻止了他们攻下圣加布里埃尔。 —

They’ve won. They won’t stop fighting.”
他们赢了。他们不会停止战斗。”

“If they feel as we feel they may stop. They have gone through the same thing.”
“如果他们有我们的感受,也许会停下来。他们经历过同样的情况。”

“No one ever stopped when they were winning.”
“没有人在赢得战斗时会停下来。”

“You discourage me.”
“你让我泄气。”

“I can only say what I think.”
“我只能说出我的想法。”

“Then you think it will go on and on? Nothing will ever happen?”
“那么你认为会一直持续下去吗？什么也不会发生吗？”

“I don’t know. I only think the Austrians will not stop when they have won a victory. —
“我不知道。我只是认为奥地利人在赢得胜利后不会停下来。 —

It is in defeat that we become Christian.”
在失败中我们才能成为基督徒。”

“The Austrians are Christians–except for the Bosnians.”
“奥地利人是基督徒–除了波斯尼亚人以外。”

“I don’t mean technically Christian. I mean like Our Lord.”
“我不是指技术上的基督徒。我指的是像我们的主一样。”

He said nothing.
他什么也没说。

“We are all gentler now because we are beaten. —
“我们现在都变得更温和了，因为我们被打败了。 —

How would Our Lord have been if Peter had rescued him in the Garden?”
“如果彼得在园子里救了我们的主，我们的主会怎么样呢？”

“He would have been just the same.”
“他会一样的。”

“I don’t think so,” I said.
“我不这么认为，”我说。

“You discourage me,” he said. “I believe and I pray that something will happen. —
“你让我泄气，”他说。“我相信，我祈祷会发生些什么。 —

I have felt it very close.”
我感觉很接近了。”

“Something may happen,” I said. “But it will happen only to us. —
“可能会有些变化，”我说。“但这只会发生在我们身上。 —

If they felt the way we do, it would be all right. —
如果他们有我们的感受，那就没问题了。 —

But they have beaten us. They feel another way.”
但他们打败了我们。他们有另一种感受。”

“Many of the soldiers have always felt this way. It is not because they were beaten.”
“许多士兵一直都有这种感受。这不是因为他们被打败。”

“They were beaten to start with. They were beaten when they took them from their farms and put them in the army. —
“他们从一开始就被打败了。他们被从农场带走并被编入军队时就已经被打败了。 —

That is why the peasant has wisdom, because he is defeated from the start. —
这就是为什么农民有智慧，因为他们从一开始就被击败。 —

Put him in power and see how wise he is.”
让他们掌权，看看他们有多聪明。”

He did not say anything. He was thinking.
他没说话，他在思考。

“Now I am depressed myself,” I said. “That’s why I never think about these things. —
“现在我也沮丧了，”我说。“这就是为什么我从不考虑这些事情。 —

I never think and yet when I begin to talk I say the things I have found out in my mind without thinking.”
我从不思考，但当我开始说话时，我说出了我在脑海中找到的东西，而没有经过思考。

“I had hoped for something.”
我曾经希望过一些事情。

“Defeat?”
失败？

“No. Something more.”
不，更深刻的东西。

“There isn’t anything more. Except victory. It may be worse.”
并没有更深刻的。除了胜利。这可能更糟。

“I hoped for a long time for victory.”
我曾经长时间地希望胜利。

“Me too.”
我也是。

“Now I don’t know.”
现在我不知道了。

“It has to be one or the other.”
它必须是其中之一。

“I don’t believe in victory any more.”
我不再相信胜利。

“I don’t. But I don’t believe in defeat. Though it may be better.”
我也不相信。但我也不相信失败。尽管失败可能更好。

“What do you believe in?”
你相信什么？

“In sleep,” I said. He stood up.
我说：“我相信睡眠。”他站起来。

“I am very sorry to have stayed so long. But I like so to talk with you.”
很抱歉呆了这么久。但我很喜欢与你交谈。

“It is very nice to talk again. I said that about sleeping, meaning nothing.”
再次交谈很愉快。我说睡眠的时候，意思是无所谓。

We stood up and shook hands in the dark.
我们站起来在黑暗中握手。

“I sleep at 307 now,” he said.
“现在我睡在307号房间，”他说。

“I go out on post early to-morrow.”
“明天我会早点出岗。

“I’ll see you when you come hack.”
“你回来时我会去看你。”

“We’ll have a walk and talk together.” I walked with him to the door.
“我们一起散散步，聊聊天吧。”我跟着他走到门口。

“Don’t go down,” he said. “It is very nice that you are back. —
“不要下去，”他说。”你回来了真好。 —

Though not so nice for you.” He put his hand on my shoulder.
虽然对你来说可能不太好。”他把手放在我肩膀上。

“It’s all right for me,” I said. “Good-night.”
“我没事，”我说。”晚安。”

“Good-night. Ciaou!”
“晚安，再见！”

“Ciaou!” I said. I was deadly sleepy.
“再见！”我说。我已经困得无法睁开眼睛。