Suddenly Mr Ramsay raised his head as he passed and looked straight ather, with his distraught wild gaze which was yet so penetrating, as if hesaw you, for one second, for the first time, for ever; —
突然，当拉姆齐先生经过时，他抬起头，直视她，他那扰乱的狂野目光仍然如此 penetrating，就好像他看到你一秒钟，就好像是第一次，永远； —

and she pretended todrink out of her empty coffee cup so as to escape him—to escape his demandon her, to put aside a moment longer that imperious need. —
她假装喝空了的咖啡杯，以避开他——避开他对她的要求，为了延迟那种迫切的需要。 —

And heshook his head at her, and strode on (“Alone” she heard him say,“Perished” she heard him say) and like everything else this strangemorning the words became symbols, wrote themselves all over the grey-green walls. —
他对她摇了摇头，大步走开（“孤独”她听到他说，“消失”她听到他说），就像今天早上的一切一样，这些词变成了象征，在灰绿色的墙上写满了。 —

If only she could put them together, she felt, write them outin some sentence, then she would have got at the truth of things. —
如果她能把它们连在一起，她感到，把它们写成一句话，那么她就会得到事情的真相。 —

Old MrCarmichael came padding softly in, fetched his coffee, took his cup andmade off to sit in the sun. —
老卡迈克尔先生悄悄地走进来，拿起他的咖啡，拿起杯子，走开坐在阳光下。 —

The extraordinary unreality was frightening;but it was also exciting. Going to the Lighthouse. —
这种特别的非现实感令人恐惧；但也令人兴奋。去灯塔。 —

But what does one sendto the Lighthouse? Perished. —
但是一个人应该送什么去灯塔? 消失了。 —

Alone. The grey-green light on the wall opposite.
孤独。对面墙上的灰绿色光。

The empty places. Such were some of the parts, but how bringthem together? she asked. —
空着的地方。这些是其中的一些部分，但怎么将它们联系在一起呢？她问。 —

As if any interruption would break the frailshape she was building on the table she turned her back to the windowlest Mr Ramsay should see her. —
就好像任何打扰都会破坏她在桌子上建立的脆弱形状，她转过身来背对着窗户，免得拉姆齐先生看到她。 —

She must escape somewhere, be alonesomewhere. Suddenly she remembered. —
她必须逃到某个地方，去一个人的地方。突然，她记起了。 —

When she had sat there last tenyears ago there had been a little sprig or leaf pattern on the table-cloth,which she had looked at in a moment of revelation. —
十年前，当她上次在那里坐的时候，桌布上有一个小小的蔓叶或叶子的图案，在一个顿悟的瞬间她看着它。 —

There had been aproblem about a foreground of a picture. —
有一幅画的前景有问题。 —

Move the tree to the middle,she had said. —
把树移动到中间，她说过。 —

She had never finished that picture. She would paint thatpicture now. —
她从来没有完成那幅画。她现在要画那幅画。 —

It had been knocking about in her mind all these years.
多年来，这个念头一直在她脑海中挥之不去。

Where were her paints, she wondered? Her paints, yes. —
她想知道她的颜料放在哪里？她的颜料，没错。 —

She had left themin the hall last night. She would start at once. —
她昨晚把它们放在了大厅。她会立刻开始。 —

She got up quickly, beforeMr Ramsay turned.
她赶紧起身，以免拉姆齐先生回头。

She fetched herself a chair. She pitched her easel with her precise oldmaidishmovements on the edge of the lawn, not too close to Mr Carmichael,but close enough for his protection. —
她找来一把椅子。她用她那精确老式的动作在草坪边上摆放了画架，不是离卡迈克尔先生太近，但确实离他足够近，以得到他的保护。 —

Yes, it must have been preciselyhere that she had stood ten years ago. —
是的，十年前她一定就是站在这个地方。 —

There was the wall; the
那里有墙；篱笆；树。问题是这些体块之间的某种关系。

hedge; the tree. The question was of some relation between those masses.
这个问题她多年来一直放在心上。

She had borne it in her mind all these years. —
现在她似乎找到了解决办法： —

It seemed as if the solutionhad come to her: —
她现在知道自己想要做什么了。 —

she knew now what she wanted to do.
但拉姆齐先生接近时，她什么都做不了。

But with Mr Ramsay bearing down on her, she could do nothing.
每当他走近时——他正在露台上来回踱步——毁灭逼近，混乱逼近。

Every time he approached—he was walking up and down the terrace—ruin approached, chaos approached. —
她无法作画。她弯腰，她转身；她拿起这块抹布；她挤了那支颜料。 —

She could not paint. Shestooped, she turned; she took up this rag; she squeezed that tube. —
但她做的一切只是让他稍微远离。他让她无法做任何事情。 —

But allshe did was to ward him off a moment. He made it impossible for her todo anything. —
他走近就意味着不可避免的失败。 —

For if she gave him the least chance, if he saw her disengageda moment, looking his way a moment, he would be on her, saying,as he had said last night, “You find us much changed.” —
因为如果她给了他一点机会，如果他看到她有片刻不忙的时候，看了他一眼，他就会走过来，像他昨晚说的那样，“你会发现我们变化很大。” —

Last night he hadgot up and stopped before her, and said that. —
昨晚他站起来停在她面前，说了那句话。 —

Dumb and staring thoughthey had all sat, the six children whom they used to call after the Kingsand Queens of England—the Red, the Fair, the Wicked, the Ruthless—she felt how they raged under it. —
他们都坐着发呆，一言不发，他们这六个孩子曾经被叫做英国国王和王后——红色、金发、邪恶、无情的——她感觉到他们内心的愤怒。 —

Kind old Mrs Beckwith saidsomething sensible. —
善良的贝司太太说了一些明智的话。 —

But it was a house full of unrelated passions—shehad felt that all the evening. —
但这是一个充满无关的激情的家—整个晚上她都感觉到了。 —

And on top of this chaos Mr Ramsay got up,pressed her hand, and said: —
就在混乱中，拉姆齐先生起身，握住她的手，说道： —

“You will find us much changed” and noneof them had moved or had spoken; —
“你会发现我们变化很大”而他们一个都没有移动或说话； —

but had sat there as if they wereforced to let him say it. —
而是像被迫让他说这句话一样坐在那里。 —

Only James (certainly the Sullen) scowled at thelamp; —
只有詹姆斯（肯定是那个愤怒的）对着灯罩瞪着眼睛； —

and Cam screwed her handkerchief round her finger. —
而卡姆则在手指上缠着手帕。 —

Then he remindedthem that they were going to the Lighthouse tomorrow. —
然后他提醒他们，明天他们要去灯塔。 —

Theymust be ready, in the hall, on the stroke of half-past seven. —
他们必须准备好，晚上七点半准时在大厅等候。 —

Then, with hishand on the door, he stopped; he turned upon them. Did they not wantto go? —
然后，他站在门口，停住了；他面向他们。他们不想去吗？ —

he demanded. Had they dared say No (he had some reason forwanting it) he would have flung himself tragically backwards into thebitter waters of depair. —
他要求。如果他们敢说不（他有某种原因想要这样）他会戏剧性地向后倒在仇恨的海水中。 —

Such a gift he had for gesture. He looked like aking in exile. —
他有这样的姿态天赋。他看起来像是被流放的国王。 —

Doggedly James said yes. Cam stumbled more wretchedly.
坚定的詹姆斯说是。卡姆越发狼狈地绊倒。

Yes, oh, yes, they’d both be ready, they said. —
是的，哦，是的，他们都会准备好的，他们说道。 —

And it struck her, this wastragedy—not palls, dust, and the shroud; —
对她来说，这是个悲剧 - 不是布吊帘，尘埃和裹尸布； —

but children coerced, their spiritssubdued. James was sixteen, Cam, seventeen, perhaps. —
而是被迫的孩子，他们被压制了精神。詹姆斯十六岁，卡姆十七岁，也许。 —

She hadlooked round for some one who was not there, for Mrs Ramsay, presumably.
她四下张望，寻找一个不在场的人，大概是拉姆赛夫人。

But there was only kind Mrs Beckwith turning over her sketchesunder the lamp. —
但只有友善的贝克威斯夫人在灯光下翻弄着她的素描。 —

Then, being tired, her mind still rising and falling withthe sea, the taste and smell that places have after long absence possessingher, the candles wavering in her eyes, she had lost herself and gone under.
然后，疲惫的她的心随着海水起伏，感觉到长时间离开后地方所具有的味道和气息，烛光在她眼中摇曳，她迷失了自己，消失了。

It was a wonderful night, starlit; the waves sounded as they wentupstairs; —
这是一个美妙的星光灿烂的夜晚；浪声伴随着他们上楼； —

the moon surprised them, enormous, pale, as they passed thestaircase window. —
月亮使他们惊讶，巨大而苍白，当他们经过楼梯窗户时。 —

She had slept at once.
她立即入睡。

She set her clean canvas firmly upon the easel, as a barrier, frail, butshe hoped sufficiently substantial to ward off Mr Ramsay and his exactingness.
她将干净的画布牢牢地放在画架上，作为一道屏障，脆弱的，但她希望足够结实以抵挡拉姆赛先生的苛刻。

She did her best to look, when his back was turned, at her picture; —
当他转过身去的时候，她尽力看着她的画； —

that line there, that mass there. But it was out of the question. —
那里的线条，那里的块。但这是不可能的。 —

Lethim be fifty feet away, let him not even speak to you, let him not evensee you, he permeated, he prevailed, he imposed himself. —
让他离开五十英尺远，让他甚至不跟你说话，让他甚至不看见你，他弥漫着，他主宰着，他把自己强加在上面。 —

He changedeverything. She could not see the colour; she could not see the lines; —
他改变了一切。她无法看见颜色；她无法看见线条； —

evenwith his back turned to her, she could only think, But he’ll be down onme in a moment, demanding—something she felt she could not givehim. —
即使他背对着她，她只能想到，但他一会儿就会压制她，要求——她感觉自己无法给他。 —

She rejected one brush; she chose another. When would those childrencome? —
她拒绝了一根画笔；她选择了另一根。那些孩子什么时候来？ —

When would they all be off? she fidgeted. —
他们什么时候都准备好了？她坐立不安。 —

That man, shethought, her anger rising in her, never gave; that man took. —
她想，那个男人，她的愤怒在她心中升起，从来没有给过；那个男人只知道索取。 —

She, on theother hand, would be forced to give. Mrs Ramsay had given. —
反之，她却被迫要给予。拉姆齐夫人一直在给予。 —

Giving, giving,giving, she had died—and had left all this. —
给予，给予，给予，她去世了——留下了这一切。 —

Really, she was angrywith Mrs Ramsay. —
其实，她对拉姆齐夫人很生气。 —

With the brush slightly trembling in her fingers shelooked at the hedge, the step, the wall. —
画笔在她手指间微微颤动，她看着篱笆、台阶、墙。 —

It was all Mrs Ramsay’s doing.
这一切都是拉姆齐夫人的错。

She was dead. Here was Lily, at forty-four, wasting her time, unable todo a thing, standing there, playing at painting, playing at the one thingone did not play at, and it was all Mrs Ramsay’s fault. —
她去世了。现在是莉莉，四十四岁，浪费时间，无所作为，站在这里，玩着绘画，玩着唯一不能玩弄的事情，而这一切都是拉姆齐夫人的错。 —

She was dead. Thestep where she used to sit was empty. She was dead.
她去世了。她过去坐的台阶空了。她去世了。

But why repeat this over and over again? —
但为什么一遍又一遍地重复这些？ —

Why be always trying tobring up some feeling she had not got? —
为什么总是试图唤起一种她并没有的感觉？ —

There was a kind of blasphemy init. —
这带有一种亵渎的味道。 —

It was all dry: all withered: all spent. They ought not to have askedher; —
这一切已经干涸：已经枯萎：已经耗尽。他们不应该邀请她； —

she ought not to have come. One can’t waste one’s time at forty-four, she thought. —
她本不该来的。一个四十四岁的人不能浪费时间，她想。 —

She hated playing at painting. A brush, the one dependablething in a world of strife, ruin, chaos—that one should not playwith, knowingly even: —
她讨厌玩涂鸦。在一个充满斗争、毁灭、混乱的世界中，刷子是唯一可靠的东西，甚至不能开玩笑地玩弄它。 —

she detested it. But he made her. You shan’t touchyour canvas, he seemed to say, bearing down on her, till you’ve given mewhat I want of you. —
她憎恨这种感觉。但他逼着她。除非你给我想要的东西，否则你不可以碰你的画布，他似乎在对她施加压力。 —

Here he was, close upon her again, greedy, distraught.
他又近在眼前了，贪婪、困惑。

Well, thought Lily in despair, letting her right hand fall at herside, it would be simpler then to have it over. —
嗯，Lily绝望地想，让她的右手落在身旁，结束起来会更简单。 —

Surely, she could imitatefrom recollection the glow, the rhapsody, the self-surrender, she hadseen on so many women’s faces (on Mrs Ramsay’s, for instance) when onsome occasion like this they blazed up—she could remember the look onMrs Ramsay’s face—into a rapture of sympathy, of delight in the rewardthey had, which, though the reason of it escaped her, evidently conferredon them the most supreme bliss of which human nature was capable.
当然，她可以从记忆中模仿出那种光辉、狂喜、自我放弃的样子，她曾在这样的场合看到过许多女性的脸上（比如拉姆赛太太），当她们在像这样的场合不可名状地燃烧起来时，进入一种同情、在他们所获得的回报中感到欣喜的至高快感。虽然她无法理解其原因，但显然这种快乐赋予了她们人性所能拥有的最高至善。

Here he was, stopped by her side. She would give him what she could.
现在他又停在她身旁。她会尽力给他。