THE passenger train is just starting from Bologoe, the junction on the Petersburg-Moscow line. —-
从彼得堡-莫斯科线的交汇点博洛格开始，客运列车正准备出发。 —-

In a second-class smoking compartment five passengers sit dozing, shrouded in the twilight of the carriage. —-
在二等吸烟车厢中，有五位乘客打盹，被车内微弱的灯光笼罩着。 —-

They had just had a meal, and now, snugly ensconced in their seats, they are trying to go to sleep. Stillness.
他们刚刚用过饭，现在蜷缩在座位上，试图入睡。寂静。

The door opens and in there walks a tall, lanky figure straight as a poker, with a ginger-coloured hat and a smart overcoat, wonderfully suggestive of a journalist in Jules Verne or on the comic stage.
门开了，一位高高瘦瘦的人走了进来，笔挺的姿态，戴着一顶姜黄色的帽子，穿着一件漂亮的外套，完全有点像《环游地球80天》中的记者或者喜剧舞台上的人物。

The figure stands still in the middle of the compartment for a long while, breathing heavily, screwing up his eyes and peering at the seats.
这个人在车厢中央站了很久，大口喘着气，眯起眼睛，凝视着座位。

“No, wrong again!” he mutters. “What the deuce! —-
“不对，又错了！”他咕哝道，“该死的！ —-

It’s positively revolting! No, the wrong one again!”
真是令人恶心！不，又是错的！”

One of the passengers stares at the figure and utters a shout of joy:
其中一位乘客盯着这个人，高兴地叫了出来：

“Ivan Alexyevitch! what brings you here? Is it you?”
“伊万·阿列克谢维奇！你怎么会在这儿？是你吗？”

The poker-like gentleman starts, stares blankly at the passenger, and recognizing him claps his hands with delight.
那个笔挺的先生怔了一下，茫然地盯着对方，认出了他，高兴地拍了拍手。

“Ha! Pyotr Petrovitch,” he says. “How many summers, how many winters! —-
“哈！彼得·彼得罗维奇，”他说。“多少个夏天，多少个冬天！ —-

I didn’t know you were in this train.”
我不知道你在这班列车上。”

“How are you getting on?”
“你最近怎么样？”

“I am all right; the only thing is, my dear fellow, I’ve lost my compartment and I simply can’t find it. —-
“我还好；只有一件事，亲爱的朋友，我把我的车厢弄丢了，找不到了。 —-

What an idiot I am! I ought to be thrashed!”
我真是个傻瓜！我应该挨打！”

The poker-like gentleman sways a little unsteadily and sniggers.
笔挺的先生有点摇晃地笑了起来。

“Queer things do happen!” he continues. —-
“奇怪的事确实发生了！”他继续说。 —-

“I stepped out just after the second bell to get a glass of brandy. I got it, of course. —-
“第二声钟响后，我出来拿了一杯白兰地。当然，我有了。 —-

Well, I thought, since it’s a long way to the next station, it would be as well to have a second glass. —-
嗯，我想，既然到下一个车站还有很长的路，再来一杯也无妨。 —-

While I was thinking about it and drinking it the third bell rang. . . . —-
在我想着这个并喝着的时候，第三声钟响了。。。 —-

I ran like mad and jumped into the first carriage. —-
我疯狂地跑着，跳进了第一节车厢。 —-

I am an idiot! I am the son of a hen!”
我是个白痴！我是个小鸡的儿子！”

“But you seem in very good spirits,” observes Pyotr Petrovitch. —-
“但你看起来心情很好，”彼得·彼得罗维奇观察到。 —-

“Come and sit down! There’s room and a welcome.”
“过来坐下吧！有空位欢迎你。”

“No, no. . . . I’m off to look for my carriage. Good-bye!”
“不，不。。。我要去找我的车厢。再见！”

“You’ll fall between the carriages in the dark if you don’t look out! —-
“在黑暗中，如果你不小心，你会掉在车厢之间！ —-

Sit down, and when we get to a station you’ll find your own compartment. Sit down!”
坐下，等到我们到达一个车站，你就会找到自己的车厢。坐下！”

Ivan Alexyevitch heaves a sigh and irresolutely sits down facing Pyotr Petrovitch. —-
伊万·阿列克谢维奇叹了口气，迟疑地坐下，面对着彼得·彼得罗维奇。 —-

He is visibly excited, and fidgets as though he were sitting on thorns.
他明显兴奋，像坐在刺上一样坐立不安。

“Where are you travelling to?” Pyotr Petrovitch enquires.
“你要去哪里旅行？”彼得·彼得罗维奇问道。

“I? Into space. There is such a turmoil in my head that I couldn’t tell where I am going myself. I go where fate takes me. —-
“我？去太空。我的头脑里乱哄哄的，我自己也不知道去哪里。我随缘去。 —-

Ha-ha! My dear fellow, have you ever seen a happy fool? No? Well, then, take a look at one. —-
哈哈！亲爱的朋友，你见过快乐的傻瓜吗？没有吗？那就看看一个吧。 —-

You behold the happiest of mortals! Yes! —-
你见证了最快乐的凡人！是的！ —-

Don’t you see something from my face?”
“你难道看不出我脸上有什么吗？”

“Well, one can see you’re a bit . . . a tiny bit so-so.”
“嗯，可以看出你有点……一点点马虎。”

“I dare say I look awfully stupid just now. Ach! —-
“我敢说我现在看起来非常愚蠢。啊！ —-

it’s a pity I haven’t a looking-glass, I should like to look at my counting-house. —-
有点可惜我没有镜子，我想瞧瞧我的计算院子。 —-

My dear fellow, I feel I am turning into an idiot, honour bright. Ha-ha! —-
我亲爱的朋友，我觉得我正在变成一个白痴，真心话。哈哈！ —-

Would you believe it, I’m on my honeymoon. —-
你会相信吗，我正在度蜜月。 —-

Am I not the son of a hen?”
我是不是个小鸡的儿子？”

“You? Do you mean to say you are married?”
“你？你是说你结婚了？”

“To-day, my dear boy. We came away straight after the wedding.”
“今天，我亲爱的孩子。我们在婚礼后就离开了。”

Congratulations and the usual questions follow. “Well, you are a fellow! —-
祝贺和寻常的问题相继而来。“哇，你是个家伙啊！” —-

” laughs Pyotr Petrovitch. “That’s why you are rigged out such a dandy.”
”笑着对彼得·彼得罗维奇说道。“这就是为什么你穿得那么花哨。”

“Yes, indeed. . . . To complete the illusion, I’ve even sprinkled myself with scent. —-
“是的……为了完全达到幻想的目的，我甚至还撒了些香水在自己身上。” —-

I am over my ears in vanity! No care, no thought, nothing but a sensation of something or other . . —-
我深陷于虚荣中！没有烦恼，没有思考，只有某种感觉……该死的不知道该怎么形容它……快乐或者其他什么？ —-

. deuce knows what to call it . . . beatitude or something? —-
我对此无法言表……上帝知道叫它什么……幸福或者什么的？ —-

I’ve never felt so grand in my life!”
我这辈子从未感到如此豪华！

Ivan Alexyevitch shuts his eyes and waggles his head.
伊万·亚列克谢维奇闭上眼睛，晃动着头。

“I’m revoltingly happy,” he says. “Just think; in a minute I shall go to my compartment. —-
“我太幸福了！”他说。“想想吧，再过一分钟我就要去我的车厢了。 —-

There on the seat near the window is sitting a being who is, so to say, devoted to you with her whole being. —-
在那里，靠窗的座位上坐着一个全心全意为你奉献的人。 —-

A little blonde with a little nose . . . little fingers. . . . My little darling! My angel! —-
一个金发碧眼，小鼻子……还有小手指……我的小甜心！我的天使！ —-

My little poppet! Phylloxera of my soul! And her little foot! Good God! —-
我的小宝贝！我灵魂的葡萄根蚜！还有她那小小的脚！天啊！ —-

A little foot not like our beetle-crushers, but something miniature, fairylike, allegorical. —-
一个小小的脚，不像我们的厚底鞋，而是一种小巧婉约的、寓意深远的脚。 —-

I could pick it up and eat it, that little foot! Oh, but you don’t understand! —-
我可以捏起来啃一口那小小的脚！哦，你们不明白！ —-

You’re a materialist, of course, you begin analyzing at once, and one thing and another. —-
你当然是个唯物主义者，你一开始就开始分析这个那个。 —-

You are cold-hearted bachelors, that’s what you are! When you get married you’ll think of me. —-
你们都是冷酷无情的单身汉！等你们结婚了会想起我来的。 —-

‘Where’s Ivan Alexyevitch now?’ you’ll say. Yes; —-
“伊万·亚列克谢维奇现在在哪？”你们会问。是的； —-

so in a minute I’m going to my compartment. There she is waiting for me with impatience . . . —-
所以，再过一分钟我就要去我的车厢了。她正在等我，迫不及待地……’ —-

in joyful anticipation of my appearance. She’ll have a smile to greet me. —-
在我出现的欢乐预期中。她会带着微笑迎接我。 —-

I sit down beside her and take her chin with my two fingers.”
我坐在她身旁，用两根手指拿起她的下巴。”

Ivan Alexyevitch waggles his head and goes off into a chuckle of delight.
伊万·亚列克谢维奇摇着头，高兴地笑了起来。

“Then I lay my noddle on her shoulder and put my arm round her waist. —-
“然后我把头放在她的肩膀上，把手臂搂在她的腰间。 —-

Around all is silence, you know . . . poetic twilight. —-
四周一片寂静，你知道的……如诗的黄昏。 —-

I could embrace the whole world at such a moment. —-
在这样的时刻，我可以拥抱整个世界。 —-

Pyotr Petrovitch, allow me to embrace you!”
彼得·彼得罗维奇，让我拥抱你！”

“Delighted, I’m sure.” The two friends embrace while the passengers laugh in chorus. —-
“非常高兴。”两个朋友拥抱在一起，乘客们一起笑了出来。 —-

And the happy bridegroom continues:
幸福的新郎继续说：

“And to complete the idiocy, or, as the novelists say, to complete the illusion, one goes to the refreshment-room and tosses off two or three glasses. —-
“为了完全陷入愚蠢之中，或者说如小说家所说，为了完全沉浸其中，人们去了休息室，喝了两三杯。 —-

And then something happens in your head and your heart, finer than you can read of in a fairy tale. —-
然后你的头脑和心灵会发生一些事情，比你在童话中读到的更美好。 —-

I am a man of no importance, but I feel as though I were limitless: —-
我是一个无足轻重的人，但我感觉自己无限： —-

I embrace the whole world!”
我拥抱整个世界！”

The passengers, looking at the tipsy and blissful bridegroom, are infected by his cheerfulness and no longer feel sleepy. —-
看着微醺快乐的新郎，乘客们被他的欢乐感染，不再感到困倦。 —-

Instead of one listener, Ivan Alexyevitch has now an audience of five. —-
伊凡·阿列克谢维奇不再只有一个听众，现在他有了五个。 —-

He wriggles and splutters, gesticulates, and prattles on without ceasing. —-
他扭动着身子，嘴里喷着唾沫，做出手势，絮叨个不停。 —-

He laughs and they all laugh.
他笑了，大家都笑起来。

“Gentlemen, gentlemen, don’t think so much! Damn all this analysis! —-
“先生们，先生们，不要想得太多！该死的所有分析！ —-

If you want a drink, drink, no need to philosophize as to whether it’s bad for you or not. —-
如果你想喝酒，就喝，没有必要思辨它是否对你有害。 —-

. . . Damn all this philosophy and psychology!”
该死的哲学和心理学！

The guard walks through the compartment.
警卫走过车厢。

“My dear fellow,” the bridegroom addresses him, “when you pass through the carriage No. 209 look out for a lady in a grey hat with a white bird and tell her I’m here!”
“亲爱的朋友，新郎对他说，“当你经过第209节车厢时，注意一下带着一只白鸟的灰色帽子的女士，并告诉她我在这里！”

“Yes, sir. Only there isn’t a No. 209 in this train; there’s 219!”
“是的，先生。只是这列火车上没有209号车厢，只有219号！”

“Well, 219, then! It’s all the same. Tell that lady, then, that her husband is all right!”
“好吧，那就是219号！都一样。然后告诉那位女士，她的丈夫没事！”

Ivan Alexyevitch suddenly clutches his head and groans:
伊凡·阿列克谢耶维奇突然抓住头，呻吟道：

“Husband. . . . Lady. . . . All in a minute! Husband. . . . Ha-ha! —-
“丈夫……女士……所有一切都在一分钟之内！丈夫……哈哈！ —-

I am a puppy that needs thrashing, and here I am a husband! Ach, idiot! But think of her! . . . —-
我是一只需要打的小狗，而现在我成了丈夫！啊，白痴！但想想她！ —-

Yesterday she was a little girl, a midget . . . —-
昨天她还是一个小姑娘，一个小个子… —-

it s simply incredible!”
简直难以置信！”

“Nowadays it really seems strange to see a happy man,” observes one of the passengers; —-
“现在看到一个幸福的人真的很奇怪，”一位乘客观察到； —-

“one as soon expects to see a white elephant.”
“一个人一看到一个白象就同样期待着。”

“Yes, and whose fault is it?” says Ivan Alexyevitch, stretching his long legs and thrusting out his feet with their very pointed toes. —-
“是啊，这是谁的错呢？”伊凡·阿列克谢耶维奇说着，伸展着他修长的腿，把带尖头的脚伸出来。 —-

“If you are not happy it’s your own fault! Yes, what else do you suppose it is? —-
“如果你不快乐，那是你自己的错！是的，还有其他的解释吗？ —-

Man is the creator of his own happiness. —-
人是自己幸福的创造者。 —-

If you want to be happy you will be, but you don’t want to be! —-
如果你想幸福，你就会幸福，但你并不想幸福！ —-

You obstinately turn away from happiness.”
你固执地拒绝幸福。

“Why, what next! How do you make that out?”
“为什么？你怎么能这么说？”

“Very simply. Nature has ordained that at a certain stage in his life man should love. —-
“非常简单。自然规定在人生的某个阶段，他应该去爱。 —-

When that time comes you should love like a house on fire, but you won’t heed the dictates of nature, you keep waiting for something. —-
当那时候来临，你应该像着了火一样去爱，但你不听从自然的规定，而是一直在等待着什么。 —-

What’s more, it’s laid down by law that the normal man should enter upon matrimony. —-
而且，法律规定正常人应该进入婚姻。 —-

There’s no happiness without marriage. When the propitious moment has come, get married. —-
没有婚姻就没有幸福。当合适的时机到来时，结婚吧。 —-

There’s no use in shilly- shallying. . . . —-
犹豫不决无济于事…… —-

But you don’t get married, you keep waiting for something! —-
但你不结婚，一直在等待着什么！ —-

Then the Scriptures tell us that ‘wine maketh glad the heart of man.’ . . . —-
然后圣经告诉我们‘酒使人心快乐’…… —-

If you feel happy and you want to feel better still, then go to the refreshment bar and have a drink. —-
如果你感到快乐，想变得更好，那就去酒吧喝一杯。 —-

The great thing is not to be too clever, but to follow the beaten track! —-
最重要的是不要太聪明，而是要遵循常规！ —-

The beaten track is a grand thing!”
常规是一件了不起的事情！”

“You say that man is the creator of his own happiness. —-
“你说人是自己幸福的创造者。 —-

How the devil is he the creator of it when a toothache or an ill-natured mother-in-law is enough to scatter his happiness to the winds? —-
“他怎么可能是宇宙的创造者呢？一颗牙痛或者一个脾气暴躁的婆婆就足以让他的快乐烟消云散。” —-

Everything depends on chance. If we had an accident at this moment you’d sing a different tune.”
“一切都取决于运气。如果我们此刻发生一场意外，你会唱另一首调子。”

“Stuff and nonsense!” retorts the bridegroom. “Railway accidents only happen once a year. —-
“胡说八道！”新郎反驳道，“铁路事故每年只发生一次。” —-

I’m not afraid of an accident, for there is no reason for one. Accidents are exceptional! —-
“我不怕发生意外，因为没有理由会发生意外。意外是特例！” —-

Confound them! I don’t want to talk of them! —-
“搞糊涂！我不想谈论它们！” —-

Oh, I believe we’re stopping at a station.”
“哦，我想我们在一个站点停下了。”

“Where are you going now?” asks Pyotr Petrovitch. “To Moscow or somewhere further south?
“你现在要去哪里？”彼得·彼得罗维奇问道，“是去莫斯科还是更南边的某个地方？”

“Why, bless you! How could I go somewhere further south, when I’m on my way to the north?”
“天哪！我怎么会去更南边的地方？我正要去北方呢。”

“But Moscow isn’t in the north.”
“但是莫斯科不在北方。”

“I know that, but we’re on our way to Petersburg,” says Ivan Alexyevitch.
“我知道，但是我们要去圣彼得堡。”伊万·阿列克谢维奇说道。

“We are going to Moscow, mercy on us!”
“我们要去莫斯科，可怜我们啊！”

“To Moscow? What do you mean?” says the bridegroom in amazement.
“去莫斯科？你是什么意思？”新郎惊讶地说道。

“It’s queer. . . . For what station did you take your ticket?”
“太奇怪了……你买票去哪个站点了？”

“For Petersburg.”
“我买的是去圣彼得堡的票。”

“In that case I congratulate you. You’ve got into the wrong train.”
“那么我恭喜你。你上了错的火车。”

There follows a minute of silence. The bridegroom gets up and looks blankly round the company.
一阵寂静过后。新郎站起来茫然地看着众人。

“Yes, yes,” Pyotr Petrovitch explains. “You must have jumped into the wrong train at Bologoe. —-
“是的，是的,”彼得派特罗维奇解释道。”在博洛戈亚你一定上错了火车。 —-

. . . After your glass of brandy you succeeded in getting into the down-train.”
“…在你喝完白兰地后，你成功地上错了开往下行的火车。

Ivan Alexyevitch turns pale, clutches his head, and begins pacing rapidly about the carriage.
伊凡·阿列克谢维奇脸色苍白，揪住头发，快速在车厢里来回踱步。

“Ach, idiot that I am!” he says in indignation. “Scoundrel! The devil devour me! —-
“啊，我真是个白痴!”他愤怒地说道。”无耻之徒!让魔鬼吞了我吧! —-

Whatever am I to do now? Why, my wife is in that train! —-
现在我该怎么办呢？我的妻子就在那列火车上! —-

She’s there all alone, expecting me, consumed by anxiety. —-
她独自一人在那里，担心万分。 —-

Ach, I’m a motley fool!”
啊，我真是个傻瓜!”

The bridegroom falls on the seat and writhes as though someone had trodden on his corns.
新郎跌坐在座位上，像有人踩了他的脚一样痛苦地扭动着。

“I am un-unhappy man!” he moans. “What am I to do, what am I to do?”
“我是个不-不幸的人!”他呻吟道。”我该怎么办，我该怎么办?”

“There, there!” the passengers try to console him. “It’s all right . . . . —-
“别担心!”乘客们努力安慰他。”没关系的… —-

You must telegraph to your wife and try to change into the Petersburg express. —-
你必须给你妻子发个电报，然后试着改乘彼得堡特快。 —-

In that way you’ll overtake her.”
这样你就能追上她了。

“The Petersburg express!” weeps the bridegroom, the creator of his own happiness. —-
“彼得堡特快!”新郎哭泣着，他自己构建了自己的幸福。 —-

“And how am I to get a ticket for the Petersburg express? —-
“那我怎么才能买到彼得堡特快的票呢？ —-

All my money is with my wife.”
我的钱都在我妻子那里。

The passengers, laughing and whispering together, make a collection and furnish the happy man with funds.
乘客们欢笑着窃窃私语，组织一次募捐，并提供资金给这个幸福的人。