‘Tis the opinion of myself, Sanderson Pratt, who sets this down, that the educational system of the United States should be in the hands of the weather bureau. —
在我，桑德森·普拉特本人的观点中，美国的教育系统应该由气象局掌握。 —

I can give you good reasons for it; —
我可以给出很好的理由； —

and you can’t tell me why our college professors shouldn’t be transferred to the meteorological department. —
你不能告诉我为什么我们的大学教授不应该被调到气象部门。 —

They have been learned to read; —
他们已经学会了阅读； —

and they could very easily glance at the morning papers and then wire in to the main office what kind of weather to expect. —
他们可以很容易地瞥一眼晨报，然后将所期待的天气告诉主办单位。 —

But there’s the other side of the proposition. —
但这个命题的另一面也存在。 —

I am going on to tell you how the weather furnished me and Idaho Green with an elegant education.
我要告诉你天气如何为我和爱达荷·格林提供了一次精美的教育。

We was up in the Bitter Root Mountains over the Montana line prospecting for gold. —
我们当时在蒙大拿州边境的苦根山上找寻黄金。 —

A chin-whiskered man in Walla-Walla, carrying a line of hope as excess baggage, had grubstaked us; —
华拉华拉的一个蓄满希望的胡须男子给我们提供了食物与资源； —

and there we was in the foothills pecking away, with enough grub on hand to last an army through a peace conference.
我们就在山麓中努力，如同一支拥有足够粮食供应的军队进行和平谈判式地搜寻。

Along one day comes a mail-rider over the mountains from Carlos, and stops to eat three cans of greengages, and leave us a newspaper of modern date. —
有一天，有一个邮递员从卡洛斯那里经过山脉来到这里，并停下来吃了三罐梅子，还留下了一份现代日期的报纸。 —

This paper prints a system of premonitions of the weather, and the card it dealt Bitter Root Mountains from the bottom of the deck was “warmer and fair, with light westerly breezes.”
这份报纸刊登了一种关于天气的预测系统，而从底牌中发出的一张牌卡是“温暖晴朗，西风微风”的。

That evening it began to snow, with the wind strong in the east. —
当晚，开始下雪，风势很大，来自东方。 —

Me and Idaho moved camp into an old empty cabin higher up the mountain, thinking it was only a November flurry. —
我和爱达荷搬到了一个位于山上较高处的旧空房子里，以为只是十一月的一场飘雪而已。 —

But after falling three foot on a level it went to work in earnest; —
但是在平地上积雪已经达到三英尺，然后它开始认真地下起来； —

and we knew we was snowed in. —
我们知道我们被困在雪中了。 —

We got in plenty of firewood before it got deep, and we had grub enough for two months, so we let the elements rage and cut up all they thought proper.
在积雪较浅之前，我们准备了充足的木柴，还有两个月的粮食，所以就让大自然肆意吹袭吧。

If you want to instigate the art of manslaughter just shut two men up in a eighteen by twenty-foot cabin for a month. —
如果你想引发故意杀人的行为，就把两个人关在一个18乘20英尺的小木屋里一个月吧。 —

Human nature won’t stand it.
人性是无法忍受的。

When the first snowflakes fell me and Idaho Green laughed at each other’s jokes and praised the stuff we turned out of a skillet and called bread. —
当第一片雪花落下时，我和爱达草地互相开玩笑，称赞我们从锅里做出的面包。 —

At the end of three weeks Idaho makes this kind of a edict to me. Says he:
经过三个星期，爱达草地对我下了这样的旨意。他说：

“I never exactly heard sour milk dropping out of a balloon on the bottom of a tin pan, but I have an idea it would be music of the spears compared to this attenuated stream of asphyxiated thought that emanates out of your organs of conversation. —
“我从来没有听说过酸奶从锡盘底部落下来，但我想这和你从言谈机关发出的这种稀薄的窒息思维相比，简直是刀光剑影之音乐。 —

The kind of half- masticated noises that you emit every day puts me in mind of a cow’s cud, only she’s lady enough to keep hers to herself, and you ain’t.”
你每天发出的那种半消化的噪音让我想起了牛的反刍，只不过她足够女士般地把它们留给了她自己，而你却不是。”

“Mr. Green,” says I, “you having been a friend of mine once, I have some hesitations in confessing to you that if I had my choice for society between you and a common yellow, three-legged cur pup, one of the inmates of this here cabin would be wagging a tail just at present.”
“格林先生，”我说，”由于你曾经是我的朋友，所以我在向你承认的时候有些犹豫，如果我在你和一只普通的黄色、三条腿的小狗之间选择交往对象，我现在这间小屋里就会有一只在摇尾巴了。”

This way we goes on for two or three days, and then we quits speaking to one another. —
我们就这样过了两三天，然后我们停止了互相说话。 —

We divides up the cooking implements, and Idaho cooks his grub on one side of the fireplace, and me on the other. —
我们把炊具分开，爱达荷州在火炉的一边煮他的食物，我则在另一边。 —

The snow is up to the windows, and we have to keep a fire all day.
雪堆到了窗户的高度，我们不得不整日生火。

You see me and Idaho never had any education beyond reading and doing “if John had three apples and James five” on a slate. —
你知道，我和爱达荷州除了在小黑板上做《如果约翰有三个苹果，詹姆斯有五个》这类阅读练习外，一直没有接受过任何教育。 —

We never felt any special need for a university degree, though we had acquired a species of intrinsic intelligence in knocking around the world that we could use in emergencies. —
我们从来没有感到有必要去拿一个大学学位，虽然我们在周游世界中获得了一种内在的智慧，在紧急情况下也能用得上。 —

But, snowbound in that cabin in the Bitter Roots, we felt for the first time that if we had studied Homer or Greek and fractions and the higher branches of information, we’d have had some resources in the line of meditation and private thought. —
然而，在位于苦根山脉的那个小屋里被大雪困住后，我们第一次感到，如果我们学过荷马史诗、希腊语、分数和更高层次的知识，我们在冥思和内心思考方面就有了一些资源。 —

I’ve seen them Eastern college fellows working in camps all through the West, and I never noticed but what education was less of a drawback to ‘em than you would think. —
我见过那些东部的大学生在西部的营地工作，我从没有注意到受过教育对他们来说是一种负担，恰恰相反还有益处。 —

Why, once over on Snake River, when Andrew McWilliams’ saddle horse got the botts, he sent a buckboard ten miles for one of these strangers that claimed to be a botanist. —
为什么，曾经在Snake River上，当安德鲁·麦克威廉姆斯的鞍马得了蛲虫病时，他派了一辆马车十英里去找一个自称是植物学家的陌生人。 —

But that horse died.
但那匹马却死了。

One morning Idaho was poking around with a stick on top of a little shelf that was too high to reach. —
一天早晨，爱达草根在一个太高太高的小搁板上用木棍乱捅。 —

Two books fell down to the floor. —
两本书掉到了地上。我准备去捡它们， —

I started toward ‘em, but caught Idaho’s eye. —
但抓到了爱达草根的眼神。 —

He speaks for the first time in a week.
他一个星期后第一次开口说话。

“Don’t burn your fingers,” says he. —
“别烫伤你的手指，” —

“In spite of the fact that you’re only fit to be the companion of a sleeping mud-turtle, I’ll give you a square deal. —
他说。”尽管你只适合做睡着的泥龟的伴侣，但我会给你一个公平交易。 —

And that’s more than your parents did when they turned you loose in the world with the sociability of a rattle-snake and the bedside manner of a frozen turnip. —
这比你的父母当初放你出去的时候还要好，他们像响尾蛇一样好相处，又像冰雪甘蓝一样温柔。 —

I’ll play you a game of seven-up, the winner to pick up his choice of the book, the loser to take the other.”
我们玩了一局七点，赢家可以挑选自己喜欢的那本书，输家只能拿另一本。”

We played; and Idaho won. He picked up his book; —
我们玩了；爱达草根赢了。他挑走了自己的那本书， —

and I took mine. Then each of us got on his side of the house and went to reading.
我拿走了我的。然后我们各回各家，开始阅读。

I never was as glad to see a ten-ounce nugget as I was that book. —
我从未像看到那本书一样高兴地看过一根十盎司的金块。 —

And Idaho took at his like a kid looks at a stick of candy.
而爱达荷州人则像个孩子一样看着他手中的糖果棒。

Mine was a little book about five by six inches called “Herkimer’s Handbook of Indispensable Information.” I may be wrong, but I think that was the greatest book that ever was written. —
我的那本书很小，只有五乘六英寸，名叫《赫尔基默的不可或缺信息手册》。我可能错了，但我认为那是有史以来最伟大的书。 —

I’ve got it to-day; —
我今天还有它； —

and I can stump you or any man fifty times in five minutes with the information in it. —
用书中的信息，我可以在五分钟内让你和任何人出尽洋相五十次。 —

Talk about Solomon or the New York Tribune! —
别提所罗门或者《纽约论坛报》了！ —

Herkimer had cases on both of ‘em. —
赫尔基默关于他们两个的案例翔实无比。 —

That man must have put in fifty years and travelled a million miles to find out all that stuff. —
那个人一定花了五十年的时间，走了百万英里才找出所有这些东西。 —

There was the population of all cities in it, and the way to tell a girl’s age, and the number of teeth a camel has. —
书中记载了所有城市的人口，判断一个女孩的年龄的方法，以及骆驼的牙齿数量。 —

It told you the longest tunnel in the world, the number of the stars, how long it takes for chicken pox to break out, what a lady’s neck ought to measure, the veto powers of Governors, the dates of the Roman aqueducts, how many pounds of rice going without three beers a day would buy, the average annual temperature of Augusta, Maine, the quantity of seed required to plant an acre of carrots in drills, antidotes for poisons, the number of hairs on a blond lady’s head, how to preserve eggs, the height of all the mountains in the world, and the dates of all wars and battles, and how to restore drowned persons, and sunstroke, and the number of tacks in a pound, and how to make dynamite and flowers and beds, and what to do before the doctor comes–and a hundred times as many things besides. —
它告诉你世界上最长的隧道，星星的数量，水痘爆发需要多长时间，女士的脖子应该测量多长，州长的否决权，罗马渠道的日期，每天不喝三杯啤酒可以买多少磅米，缅因州奥古斯塔的年均温度，播种一英亩胡萝卜所需的种子数量，解毒剂，金发女士头上的毛发数量，如何保存鸡蛋，世界上所有山的高度，所有战争和战役的日期，如何救活溺水者和中暑者，一磅中有多少钉子，如何制作炸药、花朵和床，以及医生前需要做些什么 - 还有一百倍多的事情。 —

If there was anything Herkimer didn’t know I didn’t miss it out of the book.
如果赫尔基默不知道任何东西，我没有在书中漏掉它。

I sat and read that book for four hours. —
我坐着读了那本书四个小时。 —

All the wonders of education was compressed in it. —
所有教育的奇迹都被压缩在其中。 —

I forgot the snow, and I forgot that me and old Idaho was on the outs. —
我忘记了雪，也忘记了我和老爱达荷州之间的裂痕。 —

He was sitting still on a stool reading away with a kind of partly soft and partly mysterious look shining through his tan-bark whiskers.
他静静地坐在凳子上，一边阅读，透过他的树皮胡须透出一种既柔和又神秘的表情。

“Idaho,” says I, “what kind of a book is yours?”
“爱达荷州，”我说，“你读的是什么书？”

Idaho must have forgot, too, for he answered moderate, without any slander or malignity.
爱达荷州可能也忘记了，因为他回答得温和，没有说任何诽谤或恶意的话。

“Why,” says he, “this here seems to be a volume by Homer K. M.”
“为什么，”他说，“这本书看起来是霍默·K·M的著作。”

“Homer K. M. what?” I asks.
“霍默·K·M是谁？”我问道。

“Why, just Homer K. M.,” says he.
“噢，就是霍默·K·M。”他说。

“You’re a liar,” says I, a little riled that Idaho should try to put me up a tree. —
“你说谎，”我有点恼火地说道，因为爱达荷州试图把我打入困境。 —

“No man is going ‘round signing books with his initials. —
“没有人会在书上只签自己的首字母。” —

If it’s Homer K. M. Spoopendyke, or Homer K. M. McSweeney, or Homer K. M. Jones, why don’t you say so like a man instead of biting off the end of it like a calf chewing off the tail of a shirt on a clothes- line?”
如果是霍默·K·M·斯普本戴克，或者霍默·K·M·麦克斯维尼，或者霍默·K·M·琼斯，为什么你不像个男人一样说出来，而像小牛一样咬住它的尾巴，就像晾在晒衣线上的衬衫的尾巴一样？

“I put it to you straight, Sandy,” says Idaho, quiet. —
“老实和你说吧，Sandy，”爱达荷州说得低沉。“这是一本诗集， —

“It’s a poem book,” says he, “by Homer K. M. I couldn’t get colour out of it at first, but there’s a vein if you follow it up. —
”他说，“是霍默·K·M写的。起初我看不出其中的色彩，但如果你一直沿着某一条线追溯下去，就能找到一种线索。” —

I wouldn’t have missed this book for a pair of red blankets.”
“为了一对红毯子，我也不会错过这本书。”

“You’re welcome to it,” says I. “What I want is a disinterested statement of facts for the mind to work on, and that’s what I seem to find in the book I’ve drawn.”
“你可以拿去，”我说。“我想要的是一份毫无兴趣的事实陈述，让头脑自行思考，而这正是我在这本书里找到的。”

“What you’ve got,” says Idaho, “is statistics, the lowest grade of information that exists. They’ll poison your mind. —
“你得到的是统计数据，是最低级别的信息。它们会毒害你的头脑。” —

Give me old K. M.’s system of surmises. —
“给我老K·M的猜想系统吧。 —

He seems to be a kind of a wine agent. —
他似乎是一种葡萄酒代理人。” —

His regular toast is ‘nothing doing,’ and he seems to have a grouch, but he keeps it so well lubricated with booze that his worst kicks sound like an invitation to split a quart. —
“他经常说‘什么都不行’，看起来他有些抱怨，但他喝得很多，以至于他最糟糕的怨言听起来像是邀请我们一起喝一夸脱。” —

But it’s poetry,” says Idaho, “and I have sensations of scorn for that truck of yours that tries to convey sense in feet and inches. —
“但这是诗，”爱达荷州说，“我对你那试图用英尺和英寸传达意义的东西，感到轻蔑。” —

When it comes to explaining the instinct of philosophy through the art of nature, old K. M. has got your man beat by drills, rows, paragraphs, chest measurement, and average annual rainfall.”
当涉及通过自然艺术来解释哲学的本能时，老K. M.通过钻头，排，段落，胸围测量和年均降雨量超过了你的男人。

So that’s the way me and Idaho had it. —
所以我和爱达荷州的日夜奋斗都是通过读书来获得兴奋的。 —

Day and night all the excitement we got was studying our books. —
—

That snowstorm sure fixed us with a fine lot of attainments apiece. —
那场暴风雪确实给我们带来了一些很好的成就。到雪融化的时候，如果你突然走到我面前说： —

By the time the snow melted, if you had stepped up to me suddenly and said: —
“桑德森·普拉特，用每盒九美元五十美分的20×28的锡铁片铺设一平方英尺的屋顶需要多少钱？” —

“Sanderson Pratt, what would it cost per square foot to lay a roof with twenty by twenty- eight tin at nine dollars and fifty cents per box?” I’d have told you as quick as light could travel the length of a spade handle at the rate of one hundred and ninety-two thousand miles per second. —
我会告诉你，就像光线在一把铲柄上传输的速度一样，每秒一百九十二万英里 。有多少人能做到？ 你在半夜里叫醒你认识的大多数人，迅速问他骨骼系统中（不包括牙齿）有多少骨头，或者内布拉斯加州立法机构的投票百分比中有多少能推翻一项否决权，他们能告诉你。 —

How many can do it? You wake up ‘most any man you know in the middle of the night, and ask him quick to tell you the number of bones in the human skeleton exclusive of the teeth, or what percentage of the vote of the Nebraska Legislature overrules a veto. —
有多少人能做到？ 你在半夜里叫醒你认识的大多数人，迅速问他骨骼系统中（不包括牙齿）有多少骨头，或者内布拉斯加州立法机构的投票百分比中有多少能推翻一项否决权，他们能告诉你。 —

Will he tell you? Try him and see.
他会告诉你吗？试试看他的反应。

About what benefit Idaho got out of his poetry book I didn’t exactly know. —
关于爱达荷从他的诗集中得到了什么好处，我并不是很清楚。 —

Idaho boosted the wine-agent every time he opened his mouth; —
爱达荷每次开口都会夸奖那个推销葡萄酒的人； —

but I wasn’t so sure.
但我并不完全相信。

This Homer K. M., from what leaked out of his libretto through Idaho, seemed to me to be a kind of a dog who looked at life like it was a tin can tied to his tail. —
从爱达荷透露出的霍默·K·M的歌词中，我觉得他是一种把生活看作是拴在尾巴上的锡罐的狗。 —

After running himself half to death, he sits down, hangs his tongue out, and looks at the can and says:
在自己几乎跑得喘不过气时，他坐下来，伸出舌头，看着那个罐子，然后说道：

“Oh, well, since we can’t shake the growler, let’s get it filled at the corner, and all have a drink on me.”
“噢，好吧，既然我们无法甩开这罐子，就让我们去拐角处装满它, 然后大家都来和我一起喝一杯吧。”

Besides that, it seems he was a Persian; —
此外，听说他是波斯人； —

and I never hear of Persia producing anything worth mentioning unless it was Turkish rugs and Maltese cats.
我只听说过波斯生产出土耳其地毯和马耳他猫这样的东西值得一提。

That spring me and Idaho struck pay ore. —
那年春天，我和爱达荷找到了富矿。 —

It was a habit of ours to sell out quick and keep moving. —
我们的习惯是马上卖掉然后继续前进。 —

We unloaded our grubstaker for eight thousand dollars apiece; —
我们以每人八千美元的价格卖掉了我们的投资者。 —

and then we drifted down to this little town of Rosa, on the Salmon river, to rest up, and get some human grub, and have our whiskers harvested.
然后我们漂流到萨尔蒙河畔的罗萨小镇，休息一下，吃些人类食物，修剪我们的胡须。

Rosa was no mining-camp. It laid in the valley, and was as free of uproar and pestilence as one of them rural towns in the country. —
罗萨不是一个矿区。它位于山谷中，像乡村的那些小镇一样嘈杂和瘟疫都远离它。 —

There was a three-mile trolley line champing its bit in the environs; —
附近还有一条三英里长的电车线路，我们和爱达荷州花了一个星期乘坐其中一辆电车，并在夜晚下车住在夕阳观景酒店。由于我们现在博学又旅行过，不久我们就与罗萨最好的社交圈子交上了，并受邀参加最盛大和高雅的社交活动。 —

and me and Idaho spent a week riding on one of the cars, dropping off at nights at the Sunset View Hotel. Being now well read as well as travelled, we was soon pro re nata with the best society in Rosa, and was invited out to the most dressed-up and high-toned entertainments. —
在为消防队募集资金的市政厅的一场钢琴独奏会和吃鹌鹑比赛上，我和爱达荷州第一次遇到了罗萨社交界的女王德·奥蒙德·桑普森夫人。 —

It was at a piano recital and quail-eating contest in the city hall, for the benefit of the fire company, that me and Idaho first met Mrs. De Ormond Sampson, the queen of Rosa society.
桑普森夫人是个寡妇，拥有全镇唯一的两层楼房。

Mrs. Sampson was a widow, and owned the only two-story house in town. —
Mrs. Sampson was a widow, and owned the only two-story house in town. —

It was painted yellow, and whichever way you looked from you could see it as plain as egg on the chin of an O’Grady on a Friday. —
它被涂成了黄色，不管你从哪个角度看，都能看到它像奥格拉迪家周五下巴上的鸡蛋一样明显。 —

Twenty-two men in Rosa besides me and Idaho was trying to stake a claim on that yellow house.
除了我和爱达荷之外，还有22个人在罗莎试图在那座黄房子上立下权利。

There was a dance after the song books and quail bones had been raked out of the Hall. Twenty-three of the bunch galloped over to Mrs. Sampson and asked for a dance. —
在拂去舞厅里的歌谱和鹌鹑骨之后，有一个舞会。23个人跑到桑普森夫人那儿要求跳舞。 —

I side-stepped the two-step, and asked permission to escort her home. —
我避开了两人舞，请求陪她回家。 —

That’s where I made a hit.
那时我大获成功。

On the way home says she:
回家的路上她说：

“Ain’t the stars lovely and bright to-night, Mr. Pratt?”
“普拉特先生，今晚的星星真美丽明亮。”

“For the chance they’ve got,” says I, “they’re humping themselves in a mighty creditable way. —
“考虑到它们的机会，”我说，“它们正在以一种可敬的方式努力工作。 —

That big one you see is sixty-six million miles distant. —
那颗很大的星球你看到的距离是6600万英里。 —

It took thirty-six years for its light to reach us. —
“要花36年时间才能让它的光线到达我们这里。 —

With an eighteen-foot telescope you can see forty-three millions of ‘em, including them of the thirteenth magnitude, which, if one was to go out now, you would keep on seeing it for twenty-seven hundred years.”
借助一台18英尺的望远镜，你可以看到4300万颗，包括那些十三等星，假设其中一颗现在灭了，你仍然能看到它2700年。”

“My!” says Mrs. Sampson. “I never knew that before. —
“哎呀！”桑普森夫人说道，“我从来不知道这些。 —

How warm it is! I’m as damp as I can be from dancing so much.”
多么温暖啊！我跳舞跳得浑身都湿透了。”

“That’s easy to account for,” says I, “when you happen to know that you’ve got two million sweat-glands working all at once. —
我说：“这很容易解释，只要你知道你有两百万个汗腺同时工作。” —

If every one of your perspiratory ducts, which are a quarter of an inch long, was placed end to end, they would reach a distance of seven miles.”
如果把你的每一个排汗导管（长度为四分之一英寸）排成一排，它们的总长度将达到七英里。

“Lawsy!” says Mrs. Sampson. —
“天哪！”桑普森夫人说道， —

“It sounds like an irrigation ditch you was describing, Mr. Pratt. How do you get all this knowledge of information?”
“你刚才描述的听起来像是一条灌溉沟渠，普拉特先生。你是怎么获得这些知识的情况的？”

“From observation, Mrs. Sampson,” I tells her. —
我告诉她：“从观察中得来的，桑普森夫人。 —

“I keep my eyes open when I go about the world.”
当我在世界各地旅行时，我总是睁大眼睛。”

“Mr. Pratt,” says she, “I always did admire a man of education. —
她说：“普拉特先生，我一直很钦佩受过教育的人。” —

There are so few scholars among the sap-headed plug-uglies of this town that it is a real pleasure to converse with a gentleman of culture. —
这个小镇的大部分人都是愚蠢的家伙，很少有学者。能与一个有文化的绅士交谈真是一种愉悦。 —

I’d be gratified to have you call at my house whenever you feel so inclined.”
如果你愿意，我会很高兴你能在家里做客。”

And that was the way I got the goodwill of the lady in the yellow house. —
就是这样，我获得了黄色房子女士的好感。 —

Every Tuesday and Friday evening I used to go there and tell her about the wonders of the universe as discovered, tabulated, and compiled from nature by Herkimer. —
每个星期二和星期五的晚上，我常常去那里，向她讲述赫基默从大自然中发现、整理和编制出来的宇宙奇观。 —

Idaho and the other gay Lutherans of the town got every minute of the rest of the week that they could.
爱达荷州和镇上的其他同性恋路德教派信徒把周余的每一分钟都用到了。

I never imagined that Idaho was trying to work on Mrs. Sampson with old K. M.’s rules of courtship till one afternoon when I was on my way over to take her a basket of wild hog-plums. —
以前我从未想过爱达荷州会用凯文·马克斯的求爱规则来追求桑普森夫人，直到有一天下午我正要去给她送一篮野生梅子。 —

I met the lady coming down the lane that led to her house. —
我在通往她家的小路上遇到了她。她的眼睛闪烁着光芒， —

Her eyes was snapping, and her hat made a dangerous dip over one eye.
她的帽子斜斜地戴在一只眼睛上，显得危险万分。

“Mr. Pratt,” she opens up, “this Mr. Green is a friend of yours, I believe.”
“普拉特先生，”她开口说道，” 我相信这位格林先生是你的朋友。”

“For nine years,” says I.
“九年了，”我说。

“Cut him out,” says she. “He’s no gentleman!”
“把他撇开吧，”她说。”他不是个绅士！”

“Why ma’am,” says I, “he’s a plain incumbent of the mountains, with asperities and the usual failings of a spendthrift and a liar, but I never on the most momentous occasion had the heart to deny that he was a gentleman. —
“为什么，夫人，”我说，”他虽然是个山里的普通人，也有粗糙和通常花钱大手大脚、爱撒谎的毛病，但我从未在最重要的时刻有勇气否认他是个绅士。” —

It may be that in haberdashery and the sense of arrogance and display Idaho offends the eye, but inside, ma’am, I’ve found him impervious to the lower grades of crime and obesity. —
或许在制帽店和傲慢的氛围中，爱达荷州会令人不悦，但实际上，夫人，我发现他对低级犯罪和肥胖问题都毫不在意。 —

After nine years of Idaho’s society, Mrs. Sampson,” I winds up, “I should hate to impute him, and I should hate to see him imputed.”
“在与爱达荷州社会相处了九年之后，山普森夫人，”我结束时说，”我不愿意怀疑他，也不愿见到别人怀疑他。”

“It’s right plausible of you, Mr. Pratt,” says Mrs. Sampson, “to take up the curmudgeons in your friend’s behalf; —
“这样站出来为你的朋友辩护，普拉特先生，实在是太可信了；” —

but it don’t alter the fact that he has made proposals to me sufficiently obnoxious to ruffle the ignominy of any lady.”
“但这并不改变一个事实，就是他对我做出了非常令人讨厌的提议，足以损害任何女士的名誉。”

“Why, now, now, now!” says I. “Old Idaho do that! —
“噢，不，不，不！”我说道。”老爱达荷州也会这么做吗！ —

I could believe it of myself, sooner. —
相信它的话， —

I never knew but one thing to deride in him; —
我宁愿相信自己。我只知道他有一点可笑； —

and a blizzard was responsible for that. —
那还是因为暴风雪。有一次， —

Once while we was snow-bound in the mountains he became a prey to a kind of spurious and uneven poetry, which may have corrupted his demeanour.”
我们在山中被雪困住了，他开始陷入一种伪造的、不规整的诗意中，这可能影响了他的行为方式。”

“It has,” says Mrs. Sampson. —
“他一直这样,” Sampson太太说道。” —

“Ever since I knew him he has been reciting to me a lot of irreligious rhymes by some person he calls Ruby Ott, and who is no better than she should be, if you judge by her poetry.”
自从我认识他以来，他就一直给我背诵一些他称为Ruby Ott的人写的许多不敬的韵文，而她的诗糟糕透了，如果你根据她的诗来判断的话。”

“Then Idaho has struck a new book,” says I, “for the one he had was by a man who writes under the nom de plume of K. M.”
“那么，爱达荷州有一本新书了，”我说道，” 因为他之前看的那本书是一位使用假名K. M.的作者写的。”

“He’d better have stuck to it,” says Mrs. Sampson, “whatever it was. And to-day he caps the vortex. —
“他最好坚守住那本书，” Sampson 太太说道，” 不管那本书是什么。而今天他又引发了一场轩然大波。 —

I get a bunch of flowers from him, and on ‘em is pinned a note. Now, Mr. Pratt, you know a lady when you see her; —
我收到了他送来的一束花，上面别着一张便条。噢，Pratt先生，你一看到女士就能认出来；你知道我在罗莎社群中的地位。你真觉得我会和一个男人一起带着一罐酒和一块面包跑到树林里，在树下唱歌跳舞吗？ —

and you know how I stand in Rosa society. —
我吃饭时会喝点红酒， —

Do you think for a moment that I’d skip out to the woods with a man along with a jug of wine and a loaf of bread, and go singing and cavorting up and down under the trees with him? —
但我可不习惯随身带罐酒去丛林里，还大闹一番。 —

I take a little claret with my meals, but I’m not in the habit of packing a jug of it into the brush and raising Cain in any such style as that. —
“Rosa society”是我参加的一种妇女社团。我是说我不会和任何一个男人一起带着一个酒罐子，在树林里唱歌跳舞。 —

And of course he’d bring his book of verses along, too. —
当然了，他也会带上他的诗集。他说过这样的话。 —

He said so. Let him go on his scandalous picnics alone! —
让他一个人去他那些丑闻四起的野餐吧！ —

Or let him take his Ruby Ott with him. —
或者让他带上他的鲁比·奥特吧。 —

I reckon she wouldn’t kick unless it was on account of there being too much bread along. —
我猜除非带了太多的面包，否则她不会抱怨。 —

And what do you think of your gentleman friend now, Mr. Pratt?”
那么，普拉特先生，您对您的绅士朋友有何看法？

“Well, ’m,” says I, “it may be that Idaho’s invitation was a kind of poetry, and meant no harm. —
“嗯，夫人，”我说，”或许爱达荷的邀请是一种诗意，并无恶意。 —

May be it belonged to the class of rhymes they call figurative. —
也许它属于被称为比喻的韵文类别。 —

They offend law and order, but they get sent through the mails on the grounds that they mean something that they don’t say. —
它们违反法律和秩序，但却可以通过邮件发送，原因是它们意味着某些并未明说的东西。 —

I’d be glad on Idaho’s account if you’d overlook it,” says I, “and let us extricate our minds from the low regions of poetry to the higher planes of fact and fancy. —
“如果你能原谅爱达荷的话，我会为他感到高兴，” 我说，”让我们将思想从诗歌低层面中解脱出来，转向事实和幻想的更高层面。 —

On a beautiful afternoon like this, Mrs. Sampson,” I goes on, “we should let our thoughts dwell accordingly. —
在这样美好的下午，桑普森夫人，” 我接着说，”我们应该据此来思考。 —

Though it is warm here, we should remember that at the equator the line of perpetual frost is at an altitude of fifteen thousand feet. —
虽然这里很暖和，但我们应该记住，在赤道上，永久冻土线的海拔高度达到一万五千英尺。 —

Between the latitudes of forty degrees and forty-nine degrees it is from four thousand to nine thousand feet.”
在四十度和四十九度之间的纬度上，海拔高度为四千到九千英尺。

“Oh, Mr. Pratt,” says Mrs. Sampson, “it’s such a comfort to hear you say them beautiful facts after getting such a jar from that minx of a Ruby’s poetry!”
“噢，普拉特先生，”桑普森夫人说，“听到您说这些美丽的事实真是一种安慰，之前被那个淘气包鲁比的诗给吓了一跳！”

“Let us sit on this log at the roadside,” says I, “and forget the inhumanity and ribaldry of the poets. —
“让我们在路边的这根木头上坐下来，”我说，“忘记诗人们的残忍和下流。” —

It is in the glorious columns of ascertained facts and legalised measures that beauty is to be found. —
美丽在确定的事实和合法措施中得以体现。 —

In this very log we sit upon, Mrs. Sampson,” says I, “is statistics more wonderful than any poem. —
桑普森夫人，就在我们坐的这根木头里，藏着比任何诗还奇妙的统计数据。 —

The rings show it was sixty years old. —
树环显示它已经有六十岁了。 —

At the depth of two thousand feet it would become coal in three thousand years. —
在二千英尺的深处，它将会在三千年内变成煤炭。 —

The deepest coal mine in the world is at Killingworth, near Newcastle. —
世界上最深的煤矿位于纽卡斯尔附近的基林沃思。 —

A box four feet long, three feet wide, and two feet eight inches deep will hold one ton of coal. —
一个长四英尺，宽三英尺，深二英尺八英寸的箱子可以容纳一吨煤。 —

If an artery is cut, compress it above the wound. —
如果动脉被切断，要在伤口上方压迫。 —

A man’s leg contains thirty bones. —
一个人的腿有三十根骨头。 —

The Tower of London was burned in 1841.”
伦敦塔在1841年被烧毁。

“Go on, Mr. Pratt,” says Mrs. Sampson. —
“继续，普拉特先生，”桑普森夫人说。 —

“Them ideas is so original and soothing. —
“您的想法非常原创和舒缓。 —

I think statistics are just as lovely as they can be.”
我认为统计数据是非常可爱的。”

But it wasn’t till two weeks later that I got all that was coming to me out of Herkimer.
但直到两个星期后我才从赫尔基默那里得到所有应得的东西。

One night I was waked up by folks hollering “Fire!” all around. I jumped up and dressed and went out of the hotel to enjoy the scene. —
一天晚上，我被周围的人们大喊“着火了！”吵醒了。我跳起来穿好衣服，走出旅馆去欣赏这个场面。 —

When I see it was Mrs. Sampson’s house, I gave forth a kind of yell, and I was there in two minutes.
当我看到是桑普森夫人的房子时，我发出一种尖叫声，两分钟后我就到那里了。

The whole lower story of the yellow house was in flames, and every masculine, feminine, and canine in Rosa was there, screeching and barking and getting in the way of the firemen. —
黄房子的整个底层都在燃烧，罗莎镇的每一个男性、女性和狗狗都在那里尖叫、叫喊并妨碍消防队员。 —

I saw Idaho trying to get away from six firemen who were holding him. —
我看见爱达荷州正试图逃离六个正在抓住他的消防员。 —

They was telling him the whole place was on fire down-stairs, and no man could go in it and come out alive.
他们告诉他整个楼下都着火了，没有人能进去活着出来。

“Where’s Mrs. Sampson?” I asks.
“桑普森太太在哪里？”我问。

“She hasn’t been seen,” says one of the firemen. —
“没人见过她，”一个消防员说。” —

“She sleeps up- stairs. —
她睡在楼上。 —

We’ve tried to get in, but we can’t, and our company hasn’t got any ladders yet.”
我们试图进去，但是进不去，我们的公司还没有梯子。”

I runs around to the light of the big blaze, and pulls the Handbook out of my inside pocket. —
我绕到大火的光亮处，从内衣兜里掏出手册。 —

I kind of laughed when I felt it in my hands –I reckon I was some daffy with the sensation of excitement.
当我感觉到它在我手里的时候，我有点笑了——我想我是因为那种兴奋的感觉有点蠢。

“Herky, old boy,” I says to it, as I flipped over the pages, “you ain’t ever lied to me yet, and you ain’t ever throwed me down at a scratch yet. —
“赫尔基，老兄，”我对它说着，我在翻动着页，” 你从来没有骗过我，你从来没有在最关键的时候抛弃我。 —

Tell me what, old boy, tell me what!” says I.
“告诉我，老弟，告诉我！”我说道。

I turned to “What to do in Case of Accidents,” on page 117. —
我翻到了117页上的“意外事故应对方法”。 —

I run my finger down the page, and struck it. —
我用手指在页面上滑动，然后找到了它。 —

Good old Herkimer, he never overlooked anything! It said:
好老伙计赫基默，他从不漏掉任何事情！上面写着：

Suffocation from Inhaling Smoke or Gas.–There is nothing better than flaxseed. —
吸入烟雾或气体导致窒息——亚麻子是最好的。 —

Place a few seed in the outer corner of the eye.
将一些种子放在眼睛的外角。

I shoved the Handbook back in my pocket, and grabbed a boy that was running by.
我把手册塞回口袋里，抓住一个路过的男孩。

“Here,” says I, giving him some money, “run to the drug store and bring a dollar’s worth of flaxseed. —
“拿着，”我说着给了他一些钱，“去药店买一美元的亚麻子。 —

Hurry, and you’ll get another one for yourself. Now,” I sings out to the crowd, “we’ll have Mrs. Sampson!” And I throws away my coat and hat.
快点，你会得到一个自己用的。现在，”我对人群大喊，“我们要救萨姆森夫人了！”我扔掉了外套和帽子。

Four of the firemen and citizens grabs hold of me. —
四个消防员和市民抓住了我。 —

It’s sure death, they say, to go in the house, for the floors was beginning to fall through.
他们说进屋里等于自杀，因为楼板已经开始坍塌了。

“How in blazes,” I sings out, kind of laughing yet, but not feeling like it, “do you expect me to put flaxseed in a eye without the eye?”
“烧火草！”我大声喊道，虽然有点儿笑，但并不觉得好笑，“你们怎么指望我给眼睛放亚麻子？眼睛都没有了？”

I jabbed each elbow in a fireman’s face, kicked the bark off of one citizen’s shin, and tripped the other one with a side hold. —
我用肘部击打了每个消防员的脸，用脚踢掉了一个市民的胫骨皮，用侧抱摔倒了另一个市民。 —

And then I busted into the house. —
然后我闯进了那间房子。 —

If I die first I’ll write you a letter and tell you if it’s any worse down there than the inside of that yellow house was; —
如果我先死了，我会给你写一封信告诉你下面的情况是否比那个黄色房子里的情况更糟； —

but don’t believe it yet. —
但现在还不要相信。 —

I was a heap more cooked than the hurry-up orders of broiled chicken that you get in restaurants. —
我比餐馆里快速烧烤鸡肉的订单更加焦了。 —

The fire and smoke had me down on the floor twice, and was about to shame Herkimer, but the firemen helped me with their little stream of water, and I got to Mrs. Sampson’s room. —
火和烟两次把我压倒在地上，差点也要羞辱赫基默尔，但消防员们用他们的小水流帮助了我，我走到了桑普森太太的房间。 —

She’d lost conscientiousness from the smoke, so I wrapped her in the bed clothes and got her on my shoulder. —
她因为烟雾失去了意识，所以我用床上的被子包裹着她，让她搭在我肩膀上。 —

Well, the floors wasn’t as bad as they said, or I never could have done it–not by no means.
嗯，楼层没他们说的那么糟糕，否则我根本办不到 - 绝对不行。

I carried her out fifty yards from the house and laid her on the grass. —
我把她从房子里抱出来五十码，放在草地上。 —

Then, of course, every one of them other twenty-two plaintiff’s to the lady’s hand crowded around with tin dippers of water ready to save her. —
然后，当然，其他22位原告都挤到女士的身边，手里拿着锡制的水勺，准备救她。 —

And up runs the boy with the flaxseed.
那个男孩拿着亚麻籽上来了。

I unwrapped the covers from Mrs. Sampson’s head. —
我解开了桑普森夫人的头巾。 —

She opened her eyes and says:
她睁开眼睛说：

“Is that you, Mr. Pratt?”
“那是你，普拉特先生？”

“S-s-sh,” says I. “Don’t talk till you’ve had the remedy.”
“嘘，”我说。“在得到治疗之前不要说话。”

I runs my arm around her neck and raises her head, gentle, and breaks the bag of flaxseed with the other hand; —
我用另一只手将胳膊环绕在她的脖子上，轻轻地抬起她的头，用另一只手打开了亚麻籽的袋子； —

and as easy as I could I bends over and slips three or four of the seeds in the outer corner of her eye.
尽可能温柔地弯下腰，把三四粒亚麻籽放在她的眼角。

Up gallops the village doc by this time, and snorts around, and grabs at Mrs. Sampson’s pulse, and wants to know what I mean by any such sandblasted nonsense.
这时，村里的医生飞奔而来，喘着气围绕在桑普森夫人周围，摸着她的脉搏，想知道我这种愚蠢的做法是什么意思。

“Well, old Jalap and Jerusalem oakseed,” says I, “I’m no regular practitioner, but I’ll show you my authority, anyway.”
“呃，老哈拉和耶路撒冷鸡蛋苗，”我说，“我不是合格的从业者，但我还是给你看看我的证明吧。”

They fetched my coat, and I gets out the Handbook.
他们拿来了我的外套，我拿出了手册。

“Look on page 117,” says I, “at the remedy for suffocation by smoke or gas. —
“看一下第117页，”我说，“关于烟雾或气体引起窒息的解决办法。 —

Flaxseed in the outer corner of the eye, it says. —
书上写着用亚麻籽放在眼角。” —

I don’t know whether it works as a smoke consumer or whether it hikes the compound gastro-hippopotamus nerve into action, but Herkimer says it, and he was called to the case first. —
“我不知道它是不是消除烟雾的作用，或者它是否能刺激化合神经活动，但是赫基默说过，而且他是第一个接诊的医生。” —

If you want to make it a consultation, there’s no objection.”
“如果你想把它当作会诊，没有意见。”

Old doc takes the book and looks at it by means of his specs and a fireman’s lantern.
老医生接过书，提着放大镜和一个消防员的灯，看了看。

“Well, Mr. Pratt,” says he, “you evidently got on the wrong line in reading your diagnosis. —
“嗯，普拉特先生，”他说，“你显然在阅读你的诊断时走错了方向。 —

The recipe for suffocation says: —
窒息的处方上写着： —

‘Get the patient into fresh air as quickly as possible, and place in a reclining position.’ The flaxseed remedy is for ‘Dust and Cinders in the Eye,’ on the line above. But, after all–”
‘尽快把患者带到新鲜空气中，并让其躺下。亚麻籽的疗法是用于‘眼睛里的灰尘和煤屑’，在上一行。但是，毕竟——”

“See here,” interrupts Mrs. Sampson, “I reckon I’ve got something to say in this consultation. —
“听着，”桑普森夫人打断道，“我觉得我在这个会诊中有话要说。 —

That flaxseed done me more good than anything I ever tried.” And then she raises up her head and lays it back on my arm again, and says: —
那个亚麻籽对我有好处，比我试过的任何东西都要好。”然后她抬起头，又把头放在我的手臂上，说道： —

“Put some in the other eye, Sandy dear.”
“亲爱的桑迪，再滴一些在另一只眼睛上。”

And so if you was to stop off at Rosa to-morrow, or any other day, you’d see a fine new yellow house with Mrs. Pratt, that was Mrs. Sampson, embellishing and adorning it. —
所以，如果你明天或其他任何一天路过罗莎，你会看到一座漂亮的新黄色房子，里面住着普拉特夫人，曾被称为桑普森夫人，她正在装饰和装饰这座房子。 —

And if you was to step inside you’d see on the marble-top centre table in the parlour “Herkimer’s Handbook of Indispensable Information,” all rebound in red morocco, and ready to be consulted on any subject pertaining to human happiness and wisdom.
如果你进门的话，你会在客厅的大理石顶中央桌上看到一本装订成红色羊皮的《赫尔凯默不可或缺信息手册》，随时可以在任何与人类幸福和智慧相关的主题上进行咨询。