“THREE o’clock in the morning. The soft April night is looking in at my windows and caressingly winking at me with its stars. —
凌晨三点。四月的夜晚轻轻地透过窗户望着我，星星在眨眼，像是在抚摸我。 —

I can’t sleep, I am so happy!
我睡不着，因为我太开心了！

“My whole being from head to heels is bursting with a strange, incomprehensible feeling. —
“我从头到脚整个身体都充满了一种奇怪的，无法理解的感觉。 —

I can’t analyse it just now—I haven’t the time, I’m too lazy, and there—hang analysis! —
现在我不能分析它 - 我没有时间，我太懒了，还有 - 且不要进行分析！ —

Why, is a man likely to interpret his sensations when he is flying head foremost from a belfry, or has just learned that he has won two hundred thousand? —
为什么一个人在从钟楼头朝下飞，或者刚刚得知自己赢得了二十万时，会去解释他的感觉？ —

Is he in a state to do it?”
他有可能这样做吗？

This was more or less how I began my love-letter to Sasha, a girl of nineteen with whom I had fallen in love. —
这大概就是我给萨沙写的情书的开始，一个十九岁的女孩，我已爱上她。 —

I began it five times, and as often tore up the sheets, scratched out whole pages, and copied it all over again. —
我开始了五次，也撕毁了五张纸，把整页文字划掉，再重新抄写。 —

I spent as long over the letter as if it had been a novel I had to write to order. —
我花这么长时间写这封信，就像是为了写一部小说。 —

And it was not because I tried to make it longer, more elaborate, and more fervent, but because I wanted endlessly to prolong the process of this writing, when one sits in the stillness of one’s study and communes with one’s own day-dreams while the spring night looks in at one’s window. —
不是因为我想让它更长，更精致，更热情，而是因为我想一直延长这个写作过程，坐在安静的书房里，与自己的白日梦相连，而春夜透过窗户望着我。 —

Between the lines I saw a beloved image, and it seemed to me that there were, sitting at the same table writing with me, spirits as naïvely happy, as foolish, and as blissfully smiling as I. I wrote continually, looking at my hand, which still ached deliciously where hers had lately pressed it, and if I turned my eyes away I had a vision of the green trellis of the little gate. —
在行间我看到了一个心爱的形象，似乎在我身边一起写作的还有一些天真快乐、愚蠢而幸福微笑的灵魂。 —

Through that trellis Sasha gazed at me after I had said goodbye to her. —
透过那个纱门，萨沙在我告别后凝视着我。 —

When I was saying good-bye to Sasha I was thinking of nothing and was simply admiring her figure as every decent man admires a pretty woman; —
当我告别萨沙时，我心无旁骛，只是欣赏她的身姿，像每个正派的男人都会欣赏一个漂亮的女人； —

when I saw through the trellis two big eyes, I suddenly, as though by inspiration, knew that I was in love, that it was all settled between us, and fully decided already, that I had nothing left to do but to carry out certain formalities.
当我透过纱门看见两只大眼睛，我突然，仿佛得到启示，知道我已经爱上她，我们之间的一切都已经决定好，我只需要进行一些形式上的规定。

It is a great delight also to seal up a love-letter, and, slowly putting on one’s hat and coat, to go softly out of the house and to carry the treasure to the post. —
封好一封情书也是一件巨大的喜悦，慢慢地戴上帽子和外套，轻轻地走出房门，把这份宝贝带到邮局寄出去。 —

There are no stars in the sky now: in their place there is a long whitish streak in the east, broken here and there by clouds above the roofs of the dingy houses; —
现在天空中没有星星：它们的位置被东方的一条白色长条所取代，这条长条时而被房顶上的云彩打破； —

from that streak the whole sky is flooded with pale light. —
从那条白色长条开始，整个天空都被淡淡的光洒满了； —

The town is asleep, but already the water-carts have come out, and somewhere in a far-away factory a whistle sounds to wake up the workpeople. —
小镇上都还在沉睡，但水车已经开始工作，远处某个工厂里的汽笛响起，唤醒工人们； —

Beside the postbox, slightly moist with dew, you are sure to see the clumsy figure of a house porter, wearing a bell-shaped sheepskin and carrying a stick. —
在邮箱旁，稍微潮湿的露水，你一定会看到一个笨重的房门卫的身影，穿着钟形的羊皮毛衣，手持一根手杖； —

He is in a condition akin to catalepsy: he is not asleep or awake, but something between.
他陷入了一种类似狼疮症的状态：不是醒着也不是睡着，介于二者之间；

If the boxes knew how often people resort to them for the decision of their fate, they would not have such a humble air. —
如果信箱知道人们多少次寻求它们来决定自己的命运，它们就不会表现出如此谦卑的样子； —

I, anyway, almost kissed my postbox, and as I gazed at it I reflected that the post is the greatest of blessings.
无论如何，我几乎要亲吻我的邮箱，当我凝视着它的时候，我反思邮寄件的确是最伟大的祝福；

I beg anyone who has ever been in love to remember how one usually hurries home after dropping the letter in the box, rapidly gets into bed and pulls up the quilt in the full conviction that as soon as one wakes up in the morning one will be overwhelmed with memories of the previous day and look with rapture at the window, where the daylight will be eagerly making its way through the folds of the curtain.
我恳求每一个曾经坠入爱河的人记住，通常在把信丢进信箱后，人们会匆匆赶回家，迅速爬进床上，拉起被子，怀着一个确信，即第二天起床时，会被前一天的回忆淹没，并且迫不及待地凝望着窗外，光线将急切地穿过窗帘的褶痕；

Well, to facts… . Next morning at midday, Sasha’s maid brought me the following answer: —
那么，事实是… 第二天中午，莎莎的女仆给我送来了以下回信： —

“I am delited be sure to come to us to day please I shall expect you. Your S.”
“我很高兴，确保今天来我们这里，请务必到访，我会等你。你的S。”

Not a single comma. This lack of punctuation, and the misspelling of the word “delighted,” the whole letter, and even the long, narrow envelope in which it was put filled my heart with tenderness. —
没有一个逗号。缺乏标点符号以及“高兴”一词的拼写错误，整封信，甚至长长的窄信封，都让我的心充满了柔情； —

In the sprawling but diffident handwriting I recognised Sasha’s walk, her way of raising her eyebrows when she laughed, the movement of her lips. —
在那草书般又羞涩的字体中，我认出了莎莎的走路姿势，她笑时扬起眉毛的方式，她嘴唇的动作； —

… But the contents of the letter did not satisfy me. —
但信中内容并没有让我满意； —

In the first place, poetical letters are not answered in that way, and in the second, why should I go to Sasha’s house to wait till it should occur to her stout mamma, her brothers, and poor relations to leave us alone together? —
首先，诗意的信件不会以这种方式被回复，其次，为什么我要去莎莎家等，等待她肥胖的妈妈、兄弟和贫穷的亲戚们想着让我们独处？； —

It would never enter their heads, and nothing is more hateful than to have to restrain one’s raptures simply because of the intrusion of some animate trumpery in the shape of a half-deaf old woman or little girl pestering one with questions. —
他们绝不会想到这一点，没有比由于老年半聋老太太或小女孩的侵扰，而必须压抑自己的情感更令人讨厌的事了。 —

I sent an answer by the maid asking Sasha to select some park or boulevard for a rendezvous. —
我通过女仆送出了一封回信，请萨莎选择一个公园或林荫大道作为约会地点。 —

My suggestion was readily accepted. I had struck the right chord, as the saying is.
我的建议很快就被接受了。我似乎击中了要害，正如俗语所说的那样。

Between four and five o’clock in the afternoon I made my way to the furthest and most overgrown part of the park. —
下午四点到五点之间，我来到了公园最远和最长满繁茂植被的地方。 —

There was not a soul in the park, and the tryst might have taken place somewhere nearer in one of the avenues or arbours, but women don’t like doing it by halves in romantic affairs; —
公园里一个人影都没有，约会本可以在更近的某个大道或凉亭进行，但在浪漫的关系中，女人们不喜欢半途而废； —

in for a penny, in for a pound—if you are in for a tryst, let it be in the furthest and most impenetrable thicket, where one runs the risk of stumbling upon some rough or drunken man. —
物极必反，情深不寿——如果你准备好约会，就在最遥远、最难穿越的灌木丛中进行，冒着遇到粗野或醉酒男人的风险。 —

When I went up to Sasha she was standing with her back to me, and in that back I could read a devilish lot of mystery. —
当我走近萨莎时，她背对着我，我从她那背影中读出了许多深沉的神秘。 —

It seemed as though that back and the nape of her neck, and the black spots on her dress were saying: —
似乎那背影和她脖子上的黑斑，以及裙子上的黑点在说： —

Hush! … The girl was wearing a simple cotton dress over which she had thrown a light cape. —
嘘……那女孩穿着一件简单的棉质连衣裙，外面披着一件轻薄的披肩。 —

To add to the air of mysterious secrecy, her face was covered with a white veil. —
为了增添神秘的氛围，她的脸上蒙着一层白面纱。 —

Not to spoil the effect, I had to approach on tiptoe and speak in a half whisper.
为了不破坏效果，我不得不踮起脚尖靠近并用半声低语说话。

From what I remember now, I was not so much the essential point of the rendezvous as a detail of it. —
据我记得，我在约会中不是关键点，而是其中的细节。 —

Sasha was not so much absorbed in the interview itself as in its romantic mysteriousness, my kisses, the silence of the gloomy trees, my vows. —
萨莎并没有太专注于约会本身，而是专注于其中的浪漫神秘感，我的吻，阴暗树木的寂静，我的誓言。 —

… There was not a minute in which she forgot herself, was overcome, or let the mysterious expression drop from her face, and really if there had been any Ivan Sidoritch or Sidor Ivanitch in my place she would have felt just as happy. —
……她没有一刻忘了自己，被征服，或让脸上的神秘表情消失，实际上，如果是伊万·西多里奇或西多尔·伊万尼奇站在我的位置上，她也会感到同样幸福。 —

How is one to make out in such circumstances whether one is loved or not? Whether the love is “the real thing” or not?
在这种情况下，人该如何判断是否被爱着？爱是否是“真实的”？

From the park I took Sasha home with me. The presence of the beloved woman in one’s bachelor quarters affects one like wine and music. —
从公园我带着萨莎回到了我的家。所爱之人在单身汉的居所中，像酒和音乐一样影响人。 —

Usually one begins to speak of the future, and the confidence and self- reliance with which one does so is beyond bounds. —
通常人们开始谈论未来时，表现出的信心和自信远远超出了现实。 —

You make plans and projects, talk fervently of the rank of general though you have not yet reached the rank of a lieutenant, and altogether you fire off such high- flown nonsense that your listener must have a great deal of love and ignorance of life to assent to it. —
你制定计划和项目，热情地谈论成为将军的排位，尽管你甚至还未晋升为中尉，整个人言过其实，讲的大话让听者要么对你爱得深沉，要么对生活一无所知才会赞同。 —

Fortunately for men, women in love are always blinded by their feelings and never know anything of life. —
幸运的是，恋爱中的女人总是被自己的感情所蒙蔽，对生活一无所知。 —

Far from not assenting, they actually turn pale with holy awe, are full of reverence and hang greedily on the maniac’s words. —
与其说她不赞同，不如说她因为虔敬而面红耳赤，充满敬畏，迫不及待地倾听疯子的言论。 —

Sasha listened to me with attention, but I soon detected an absent-minded expression on her face, she did not understand me. —
萨沙专心听着我说话，但我很快发现她面部出现恍惚的表情，她并没有理解我。 —

The future of which I talked interested her only in its external aspect and I was wasting time in displaying my plans and projects before her. —
我谈论的未来只在外在方面引起了她的兴趣，而我在她面前展示的计划和项目只是浪费时间。 —

She was keenly interested in knowing which would be her room, what paper she would have in the room, why I had an upright piano instead of a grand piano, and so on. —
她对知道自己的房间在哪里、房间里会有什么壁纸、以及为什么我家里有立式钢琴而不是三角钢琴，这些方面都有着浓厚的兴趣。 —

She examined carefully all the little things on my table, looked at the photographs, sniffed at the bottles, peeled the old stamps off the envelopes, saying she wanted them for something.
她仔细检查我的桌子上的所有小物件，看着照片，闻闻瓶子，撕下信封上的旧邮票，声称她需要它们干点什么。

“Please collect old stamps for me!” she said, making a grave face. “Please do.”
“请给我收集旧邮票！”她一本正经地说道。“拜托了。”

Then she found a nut in the window, noisily cracked it and ate it.
然后她在窗台上发现一个坚果，吵吵嚓嚓地将它剥开并吃下。

“Why don’t you stick little labels on the backs of your books? —
“你为什么不在书的背面贴小标签？”她看着书架问道。 —

” she asked, taking a look at the bookcase.
“干嘛？”

“What for?”
“哦，这样每本书都能有编号。”

“Oh, so that each book should have its number. —
“那我的书放在哪里？我也有书，你知道吧。” —

And where am I to put my books? I’ve got books too, you know.”
“那我要把书放在哪里？”她问道，一脸的认真。

“What books have you got?” I asked.
“你有什么书？”我问道。

Sasha raised her eyebrows, thought a moment and said:
萨莎挑了挑眉毛，想了一会儿，然后说：

“All sorts.”
“各种各样。”

And if it had entered my head to ask her what thoughts, what convictions, what aims she had, she would no doubt have raised her eyebrows, thought a minute, and have said in the same way: “All sorts.”
如果我想问她有什么样的想法，信念，目标，她肯定会挑起眉毛，想一分钟，然后以同样的方式说：“各种各样。”

Later I saw Sasha home and left her house regularly, officially engaged, and was so reckoned till our wedding. —
后来我送萨莎回家，正式地订了婚，直到我们的婚礼。 —

If the reader will allow me to judge merely from my personal experience, I maintain that to be engaged is very dreary, far more so than to be a husband or nothing at all. —
如果读者允许我从个人经验出发判断，我认为订婚是非常沉闷的，比成为丈夫或者什么都不是更沮丧。 —

An engaged man is neither one thing nor the other, he has left one side of the river and not reached the other, he is not married and yet he can’t be said to be a bachelor, but is in something not unlike the condition of the porter whom I have mentioned above.
一个订婚的男人既不是这一边也不是那一边，他已经离开了一边的河岸，却还没有到达另一边，他既未婚又不能说是单身，而是处于一种与我前面提到的门卫的状态有些相似。

Every day as soon as I had a free moment I hastened to my fiancée. —
每天只要我有空闲的时候，我就赶紧去看我的未婚妻。 —

As I went I usually bore within me a multitude of hopes, desires, intentions, suggestions, phrases. —
在我走的时候，我心中通常怀着无数的希望、欲望、意图、建议、短语。 —

I always fancied that as soon as the maid opened the door I should, from feeling oppressed and stifled, plunge at once up to my neck into a sea of refreshing happiness. —
我总是幻想，一进门我就会从被压抑和窒息中立刻陷入到幸福的海洋中。 —

But it always turned out otherwise in fact. —
但事实总是与我想象的不同。 —

Every time I went to see my fiancée I found all her family and other members of the household busy over the silly trousseau. —
每次去看我的未婚妻，我发现她的家人和其他家里的人都在忙着那些愚蠢的嫁妆。 —

(And by the way, they were hard at work sewing for two months and then they had less than a hundred roubles’ worth of things). —
（顺便说一句，他们辛辛苦苦地缝制了两个月，结果还不到一百卢布）。 —

There was a smell of irons, candle grease and fumes. Bugles scrunched under one’s feet. —
一股熨斗、蜡烛蜡和烟雾的味道扑面而来。穿着的遮羞布在脚下哗啦啦响。 —

The two most important rooms were piled up with billows of linen, calico, and muslin and from among the billows peeped out Sasha’s little head with a thread between her teeth. —
两个最重要的房间里堆满了云状的亚麻布、卡利科布和薄绸，从布料中露出萨莎的小脑袋，嘴里叼着一根线。 —

All the sewing party welcomed me with cries of delight but at once led me off into the dining-room where I could not hinder them nor see what only husbands are permitted to behold. —
所有的缝纫聚会的人们都欢呼着欢迎我，但立刻带我到餐厅去，让我无法干扰她们，也无法看到只有丈夫才被允许看见的东西。 —

In spite of my feelings, I had to sit in the dining-room and converse with Pimenovna, one of the poor relations. —
尽管我情绪低落，我不得不坐在餐厅里和皮缅诺芙娜，一个贫穷亲戚，交谈。 —

Sasha, looking worried and excited, kept running by me with a thimble, a skein of wool or some other boring object.
萨莎看起来又担心又兴奋，不停地拿着顶针、一卷毛线或其他令人厌烦的物品跑过我身边。

“Wait, wait, I shan’t be a minute,” she would say when I raised imploring eyes to her. —
“等一下，等一下，我马上就好，”她会说，当我向她哀求的时候。 —

“Only fancy that wretch Stepanida has spoilt the bodice of the barège dress!”
“想想看，那个混蛋斯捷潘妮达把薄纱裙子的胸襟弄坏了 ！”

And after waiting in vain for this grace, I lost my temper, went out of the house and walked about the streets in the company of the new cane I had bought. —
我等待这样的宠爱却徒劳无功，我发火地走出房子，带着我买的新手杖在街上走动。 —

Or I would want to go for a walk or a drive with my fiancée, would go round and find her already standing in the hall with her mother, dressed to go out and playing with her parasol.
或者我想和未婚妻一起散步或者兜风，带了新买的手杖，到了楼下发现她已经和妈妈一起站在大厅里穿戴整齐准备外出，玩着她的阳伞。

“Oh, we are going to the Arcade,” she would say. —
“哦，我们准备去拱廊，”她会说。 —

“We have got to buy some more cashmere and change the hat.”
“我们得买一些更多的轻羊绒，换一顶帽子。”

My outing is knocked on the head. I join the ladies and go with them to the Arcade. —
我的外出计划泡汤了。我加入女士们，和她们一起去拱廊。 —

It is revoltingly dull to listen to women shopping, haggling and trying to outdo the sharp shopman. —
听女人们购物、讨价还价，试图比店员更精明，简直无聊透了。 —

I felt ashamed when Sasha, after turning over masses of material and knocking down the prices to a minimum, walked out of the shop without buying anything, or else told the shopman to cut her some half rouble’s worth.
当萨莎翻看大量材料、把价格压到最低点后，走出商店却什么都没买时，或者告诉店员给她切一些值半卢布的。

When they came out of the shop, Sasha and her mamma with scared and worried faces would discuss at length having made a mistake, having bought the wrong thing, the flowers in the chintz being too dark, and so on.
当她们走出商店，萨莎和她妈妈的脸露出惊恐和担忧的表情，会详细讨论是否犯了错，买了错误的东西，印花布上的花朵太暗，等等。

Yes, it is a bore to be engaged! I’m glad it’s over.
是的，订婚真是令人烦恼！我很高兴这已经结束了。

Now I am married. It is evening. I am sitting in my study reading. —
现在我结婚了。现在是晚上。我坐在书房里阅读。 —

Behind me on the sofa Sasha is sitting munching something noisily. —
在我背后的沙发上，萨莎正坐着大声地嚼着东西。 —

I want a glass of beer.
我想要一杯啤酒。

“Sasha, look for the corkscrew… .” I say. “It’s lying about somewhere.”
“萨莎，找找开瓶器……”我说。“它肯定随便乱放着。”

Sasha leaps up, rummages in a disorderly way among two or three heaps of papers, drops the matches, and without finding the corkscrew, sits down in silence. —
萨莎跳起来，在两三堆文件中胡乱翻找，弄掉了火柴，却没有找到开瓶器，默默坐了下来。 —

… Five minutes pass—ten… I begin to be fretted both by thirst and vexation.
五分钟过去了——十分钟了……渴望和恼火开始在我心中泛起。

“Sasha, do look for the corkscrew,” I say.
“萨莎，再找找开瓶器吧。”我说。

Sasha leaps up again and rummages among the papers near me. —
萨莎再次跳起来，在我附近的文件中搜寻着。 —

Her munching and rustling of the papers affects me like the sound of sharpening knives against each other. —
她的嚼着东西和沙沙声，让我感觉像是刀子相互磨擦发出的声音。 —

… I get up and begin looking for the corkscrew myself. —
……我站起来开始自己找开瓶器。 —

At last it is found and the beer is uncorked. —
终于找到了，啤酒开瓶了。 —

Sasha remains by the table and begins telling me something at great length.
萨莎留在桌边，开始给我讲一些事情。

“You’d better read something, Sasha,” I say.
“萨莎，你最好读点东西。”我说。

She takes up a book, sits down facing me and begins moving her lips … . —
她拿起一本书，面对着我坐下，开始动着嘴唇…… —

I look at her little forehead, moving lips, and sink into thought.
我看着她那小小的前额和动着的嘴唇，陷入了思考。

“She is getting on for twenty… .” I reflect. —
“她快二十岁了……”我反思。 —

“If one takes a boy of the educated class and of that age and compares them, what a difference! —
如果一个取一个受过教育的阶级年龄相仿的男孩进行比较，会发现有多大的差异！ —

The boy would have knowledge and convictions and some intelligence.”
男孩会有知识、信念和一些智慧。

But I forgive that difference just as the low forehead and moving lips are forgiven. —
但我会原谅这种差异，就像会原谅那低额头和动来动去的嘴唇一样。 —

I remember in my old Lovelace days I have cast off women for a stain on their stockings, or for one foolish word, or for not cleaning their teeth, and now I forgive everything: —
我记得在我年轻的洛夫莱斯年代，我会因为袜子上的污渍、一个愚蠢的词、或者没有刷牙而抛弃女性，而现在我原谅一切： —

the munching, the muddling about after the corkscrew, the slovenliness, the long talking about nothing that matters; —
啃食声、为了打开开瓶器而东找西找、邋遢、长时间谈论毫无意义的事情； —

I forgive it all almost unconsciously, with no effort of will, as though Sasha’s mistakes were my mistakes, and many things which would have made me wince in old days move me to tenderness and even rapture. —
我几乎下意识地原谅了一切，没有任何意志努力，仿佛萨莎的过失就是我的过失，许多在过去会让我愁眉不展的事情现在却让我感动并且甚至陶醉。 —

The explanation of this forgiveness of everything lies in my love for Sasha, but what is the explanation of the love itself, I really don’t know.
对一切的宽恕的解释在于我对萨莎的爱，但对这种爱本身的解释，实在不知道。