It was something already, but it was not enough. —
那已经是些东西了，但还不够。 —

I saw the hold which I had upon this woman, and I took a cowardly advantage of it.
我意识到我对这个女人有控制力，然后卑鄙地利用了这一点。

When I think that she is dead now, I ask myself if God will ever forgive me for the wrong I did her.
当我意识到她现在已经死了，我问自己，上帝是否会原谅我对她所做的错误。

After the supper, which was noisy as could be, there was gambling. —
晚饭后，大家开始赌博，格外吵闹。 —

I sat by the side of Olympe and put down my money so recklessly that she could not but notice me. —
我坐在奥琳佩旁边，把我的钱豪不设防地放在桌子上，她不得不注意到我。 —

In an instant I had gained one hundred and fifty or two hundred louis, which I spread out before me on the table, and on which she fastened her eyes greedily.
瞬间我赢得了一百五十到两百路易，我把它们散开放在桌子上，她贪婪地盯着它们。

I was the only one not completely absorbed by the game, and able to pay her some attention. —
我是唯一一个没有完全被游戏吸引住的人，能够对她付出一些关注。 —

All the rest of the night I gained, and it was I who gave her money to play, for she had lost all she had before her and probably all she had in the house.
整晚下来，我一直在赢钱，最后是我给她钱去玩，因为她把自己身上和家里的钱都输光了。

At five in the morning, the guests departed. I had gained three hundred louis.
早上五点，客人们离开了，我赢了三百路易。

All the players were already on their way downstairs; —
所有的玩家已经开始下楼了。 —

I was the only one who had remained behind, and as I did not know any of them, no one noticed it. —
我是唯一留下来的人，由于我不认识他们当中的任何一个，没有人注意到。 —

Olympe herself was lighting the way, and I was going to follow the others, when, turning back, I said to her:
奥林匹娅自己在领路，而我正要跟着其他人走，但回过头对她说道：

“I must speak to you.”
“我必须和你谈谈。”

“To-morrow,” she said.
“明天吧，”她说。

“No, now.”
“不，现在。”

“What have you to say?”
“你有什么要说的？”

“You will see.”
“你会看到的。”

And I went back into the room.
然后我回到房间里。

“You have lost,” I said.
“你输了。”我说。

“Yes.
“是的。”

“All that you had in the house?”
“你屋子里的一切都没有了？”

She hesitated.
她犹豫了。

“Be frank.”
“坦白点。”

“Well, it is true.”
“嗯，是真的。”

“I have won three hundred louis. Here they are, if you will let me stay here to-night.”
“我赢了三百路易。如果你让我今晚在这里住一晚，这些钱就归你了。”

And I threw the gold on the table.
然后我把金子扔在桌子上。

“And why this proposition?”
“为什么这个提议？”

“Because I am in love with you, of course.”
“因为我当然爱上了你。”

“No, but because you love Marguerite, and you want to have your revenge upon her by becoming my lover. —
“不是因为你爱玛格丽特，而是因为你想通过成为我的情人来报复她。 —

You don’t deceive a woman like me, my dear friend; —
你不能欺骗像我这样的女人，我亲爱的朋友; —

unluckily, I am still too young and too good-looking to accept the part that you offer me.”
不幸的是，我还太年轻，太漂亮了，不能接受你提供我的那个角色。”

“So you refuse?”
“所以你拒绝？”

“Yes.
“是的。”

“Would you rather take me for nothing? It is I who wouldn’t accept then. —
“你宁愿白白拿走我吗？那样我是不会接受的。” —

Think it over, my dear Olympe; if I had sent someone to offer you these three hundred louis on my behalf, on the conditions I attach to them, you would have accepted. —
请好好考虑一下，亲爱的奥林佩; 如果我派人代表我给你提供这三百卢易斯的条件，你会接受的。 —

I preferred to speak to you myself. Accept without inquiring into my reasons; —
我更愿意亲自和你谈。不要询问我的原因而接受吧; —

say to yourself that you are beautiful, and that there is nothing surprising in my being in love with you.”
告诉自己你很美丽，我爱上你也没有什么奇怪的。”

Marguerite was a woman in the same position as Olympe, and yet I should never have dared say to her the first time I met her what I had said to the other woman. —
玛格丽特是与奥兰普处于相同位置的女人，然而我从未敢在第一次见面时对她说我对另一个女人说过的话。 —

I loved Marguerite. I saw in her instincts which were lacking in the other, and at the very moment in which I made my bargain, I felt a disgust toward the woman with whom I was making it.
我爱上了玛格丽特。我看到她身上有其他女人所缺乏的本能，也同时对我做出交易的那个女人感到厌恶。

She accepted, of course, in the end, and at midday I left her house as her lover; —
最终她接受了，中午我离开了她的家成为她的情人； —

but I quitted her without a recollection of the caresses and of the words of love which she had felt bound to shower upon me in return for the six thousand francs which I left with her. —
但我离开她时并没有对她留下任何亲昵和表达爱意的记忆，这是她为了回报我留给她的六千法郎而不得不洒在我身上的。 —

And yet there were men who had ruined themselves for that woman.
然而，有些人为了那个女人毁了自己。

From that day I inflicted on Marguerite a continual persecution. —
从那天起，我对玛格丽特进行了持续不断的迫害。 —

Olympe and she gave up seeing one another, as you might imagine. —
奥兰普和她断绝了来往，如你所想象的那样。 —

I gave my new mistress a carriage and jewels. —
我给我的新情人买了一辆马车和珠宝。 —

I gambled, I committed every extravagance which could be expected of a man in love with such a woman as Olympe. —
我赌博，我犯了为了这样一个女人会预料到的每一种疯狂行为。 —

The report of my new infatuation was immediately spread abroad.
我新的迷恋的消息立刻传播开来。

Prudence herself was taken in, and finally thought that I had completely forgotten Marguerite. —
普鲁登斯自己也上了我的当，最后以为我已经完全忘记了玛格丽特。 —

Marguerite herself, whether she guessed my motive or was deceived like everybody else, preserved a perfect dignity in response to the insults which I heaped upon her daily. —
玛格丽特本人，无论是猜到了我的动机还是像其他人一样被欺骗，每天都以完美的尊严对待我对她的侮辱。 —

Only, she seemed to suffer, for whenever I met her she was more and more pale, more and more sad. —
只是，她似乎受苦了，每次我遇见她时，她变得越来越苍白、越来越悲伤。 —

My love for her, carried to the point at which it was transformed into hatred, rejoiced at the sight of her daily sorrow. —
我对她的爱演变成了恨，对她每天的悲伤感到欣喜。 —

Often, when my cruelty toward her became infamous, Marguerite lifted upon me such appealing eyes that I blushed for the part I was playing, and was ready to implore her forgiveness.
常常，当我对她的残忍行为变得臭名昭著时，玛格丽特会望着我用那种乞求的眼神，我为自己扮演的角色而感到羞愧，准备向她求 forgiveness。

But my repentance was only of a moment’s duration, and Olympe, who had finally put aside all self-respect, and discovered that by annoying Marguerite she could get from me whatever she wanted, constantly stirred up my resentment against her, and insulted her whenever she found an opportunity, with the cowardly persistence of a woman licensed by the authority of a man.
但是我的悔过只持续了一刹那，奥兰佩则完全放下了自尊，发现只要惹恼玛格丽特，她就能得到我想给她的任何东西，她不断激起我对她的怨恨，并在找到机会时无耻地辱骂她，就像那些被男性授权的妇女一样懦弱地坚持着。

At last Marguerite gave up going to balls or theatres, for fear of meeting Olympe and me. —
最后，玛格丽特因为害怕遇到我和奥兰佩而放弃了参加舞会或剧院。 —

Then direct impertinences gave way to anonymous letters, and there was not a shameful thing which I did not encourage my mistress to relate and which I did not myself relate in reference to Marguerite.
然后，直接的傲慢变成了匿名信件，我鼓励我的情妇讲述所有羞耻的事情，我也自己关于玛格丽特的事情无所不包。

To reach such a point I must have been literally mad. —
要达到这样的程度，我一定是疯了。 —

I was like a man drunk upon bad wine, who falls into one of those nervous exaltations in which the hand is capable of committing a crime without the head knowing anything about it. —
我就像一个喝了劣质酒的人，陷入了一种神经亢奋的状态，在这种状态下，手可以犯下罪行，而头却对此一无所知。 —

In the midst of it all I endured a martyrdom. —
在这一切中，我忍受着痛苦的折磨。 —

The not disdainful calm, the not contemptuous dignity with which Marguerite responded to all my attacks, and which raised her above me in my own eyes, enraged me still more against her.
马格丽特对我所有的攻击都以不轻蔑的平静回应，这种态度使她在我眼中更加高高在上，这更让我对她愤怒。

One evening Olympe had gone somewhere or other, and had met Marguerite, who for once had not spared the foolish creature, so that she had had to retire in confusion. —
有一天晚上，奥林普去了某个地方，遇到了马格丽特，而这一次马格丽特没有放过这个愚蠢的人，以至于奥林普只能尴尬地离开。 —

Olympe returned in a fury, and Marguerite fainted and had to be carried out. —
奥林普气得回来后，马格丽特晕倒了，不得不被人搬了出去。 —

Olympe related to me what had happened, declared that Marguerite, seeing her alone, had revenged herself upon her because she was my mistress, and that I must write and tell her to respect the woman whom I loved, whether I was present or absent.
奥林普告诉我发生了什么事，她说马格丽特看到她一个人就报复她，因为她是我的情妇，说我必须写信告诉她无论我在场还是不在场都要尊重我所爱的女人。

I need not tell you that I consented, and that I put into the letter which I sent to her address the same day, everything bitter, shameful, and cruel that I could think of.
我不用告诉你我同意了，并且在当天寄到她地址的信里，写下了我能想到的一切苦涩、可耻和残忍的话。

This time the blow was more than the unhappy creature could endure without replying. —
这一次，这个不幸的人再也无法忍受这样的打击而不回击了。 —

I felt sure that an answer would come, and I resolved not to go out all day. —
我确信答案会出现，于是决定整天不出门。 —

About two there was a ring, and Prudence entered.
大约两点的时候，门铃响了，普鲁登斯走了进来。

I tried to assume an indifferent air as I asked her what had brought her; —
我试图装出漠不关心的样子，问她是什么事带她来这里的。 —

but that day Mme. Duvernoy was not in a laughing humour, and in a really moved voice she said to me that since my return, that is to say for about three weeks, I had left no occasion untried which could give pain to Marguerite, that she was completely upset by it, and that the scene of last night and my angry letter of the morning had forced her to take to her bed. —
但是那天，杜薇诺伊太太并不想笑，她以一种真诚而感动的声音告诉我，自从我回来，也就是大约三个星期以来，我没有放过任何让夏娃痛苦的机会，这让她完全崩溃了。而昨晚的场面和我早上写的愤怒的信更是迫使她卧床不起。 —

In short, without making any reproach, Marguerite sent to ask me for a little pity, since she had no longer the moral or physical strength to endure what I was making her suffer.
总而言之，没有指责，玛格丽特请我忍心一点，因为她已经没有精神和身体的力量再忍受我给她带来的痛苦了。

“That Mlle. Gautier,” I said to Prudence, “should turn me out of her own house is quite reasonable, but that she should insult the woman whom I love, under the pretence that this woman is my mistress, is a thing I will never permit.”
“高蒂埃小姐”我对普鲁登斯说，“将我从她自己的房子赶出去是有道理的，但是她却在以这个女人是我的情妇为借口侮辱我所爱的女人，这是我绝不允许的。”

“My friend,” said Prudence, “you are under the influence of a woman who has neither heart nor sense; —
“亲爱的朋友，”普鲁登斯说，“你被一个既没有心脏又没有头脑的女人影响了； —

you are in love with her, it is true, but that is not a reason for torturing a woman who can not defend herself.”
你爱上了她，没错，但这不是折磨一个无法为自己辩护的女人的理由。”

“Let Mlle. Gautier send me her Comte de N. and the sides will be equal.”
“如果葛蒂埃小姐派她的恩作替我来，那样双方将平等。”

“You know very well that she will not do that. So, my dear Armand, let her alone. —
“你很清楚她不会这样做的。所以，亲爱的阿尔芒，别再纠缠她了。 —

If you saw her you would be ashamed of the way in which you are treating her. —
如果你见到她，你会为你对待她的方式感到羞耻的。 —

She is white, she coughs—she won’t last long now.”
她脸色苍白，咳嗽不止-她的寿命不会太长了。”

And Prudence held out her hand to me, adding:
普鲁登斯递给我手，并补充道：

“Come and see her; it will make her very happy.”
“来看看她吧；那会让她非常高兴。”

“I have no desire to meet M. de N.”
“我不想见到恩先生。”

“M. de N. is never there. She can not endure him.”
“恩先生从不在那里。她无法忍受他。”

“If Marguerite wishes to see me, she knows where I live; —
“如果玛格丽特想见我，她知道我住在哪里； —

let her come to see me, but, for my part, I will never put foot in the Rue d’Antin.”
让她来找我，但就我而言，我永远不会踏入安屯街。”

“Will you receive her well?”
“你会好好接待她吗？”

“Certainly.”
“当然。”

“Well, I am sure that she will come.”
“好吧，我确信她会来的。”

“Let her come.”
“让她进来吧。”

“Shall you be out to-day?”
“你今天要外出吗？”

“I shall be at home all the evening.”
“我今晚会在家。”

“I will tell her.”
“我会告诉她的。”

And Prudence left me.
普鲁登斯离开了我。

I did not even write to tell Olympe not to expect me. —
我甚至没有写信告诉奥琳佩不要期待我。 —

I never troubled much about her, scarcely going to see her one night a week. —
我基本上不关心她，一周只去看她一次夜晚。 —

She consoled herself, I believe, with an actor from some theatre or other.
我相信她会用剧院里的某个演员来安慰自己。

I went out for dinner and came back almost immediately. —
我出去吃饭，几乎马上就回来了。 —

I had a fire lit in my room and I told Joseph he could go out.
我的房间里生了一堆火，并告诉约瑟夫可以出去了。

I can give you no idea of the different impressions which agitated me during the hour in which I waited; —
我无法描述在等待的一个小时里我所经历的不同感受； —

but when, toward nine o’clock, I heard a ring, they thronged together into one such emotion, that, as I opened the door, I was obliged to lean against the wall to keep myself from falling.
但是当接近九点钟时，我听到有人按门铃，所有的感受涌上心头，以至于当我打开门的时候，我不得不靠着墙支撑自己，防止自己摔倒。

Fortunately the anteroom was in half darkness, and the change in my countenance was less visible. —
幸运的是门厅里半昏暗，我的表情变化不太明显。 —

Marguerite entered.
玛格丽特进来了。

She was dressed in black and veiled. I could scarcely recognise her face through the veil. —
她穿着黑色衣服，蒙着面纱。我几乎认不出她通过面纱看到的面容。 —

She went into the drawing-room and raised her veil. —
她走进客厅，掀起她的面纱。 —

She was pale as marble.
她苍白得如同大理石。

“I am here, Armand,” she said; “you wished to see me and I have come.”
“我在这里，阿尔芒德，”她说，“你想要见我，我就来了。”

And letting her head fall on her hands, she burst into tears.
她让头埋在手中，放声痛哭起来。

I went up to her.
我走到她身边。

“What is the matter?” I said to her in a low voice.
“怎么了？”我低声问她。

She pressed my hand without a word, for tears still veiled her voice. —
她默默地握住我的手，因为泪水依然遮蔽着她的声音。 —

But after a few minutes, recovering herself a little, she said to me:
但过了几分钟，她稍微恢复了一些，对我说道：

“You have been very unkind to me, Armand, and I have done nothing to you.”
“你对我很不友善，阿尔芒德，而我对你却没有做过什么。”

“Nothing?” I answered, with a bitter smile.
“什么都没有？”我带着一丝痛苦的笑容回答道。

“Nothing but what circumstances forced me to do.”
“只不过是环境所迫。”

I do not know if you have ever in your life experienced, or if you will ever experience, what I felt at the sight of Marguerite.
我不知道你是否在你的一生中曾经体验过，或者将来是否会经历过，我在看到玛格丽特的时候所感受到的一切。

The last time she had come to see me she had sat in the same place where she was now sitting; —
她上次来看我时坐在与现在同样的地方； —

only, since then, she had been the mistress of another man, other kisses than mine had touched her lips, toward which, in spite of myself, my own reached out, and yet I felt that I loved this woman as much, more perhaps, than I had ever loved her.
自从那时起，她只是另一个男人的情妇，除了我的亲吻外，其他唇上的亲吻也碰触过她的唇，尽管不由自主，但我感到我爱这个女人，也许比我以往任何时候都更多。

It was difficult for me to begin the conversation on the subject which brought her. —
对于我来说很难开始关于她所提的话题的对话。 —

Marguerite no doubt realized it, for she went on:
玛格丽特无疑意识到了，因为她继续说道：

“I have come to trouble you, Armand, for I have two things to ask: —
“我来打扰你了，阿尔芒，我有两件事要求： —

pardon for what I said yesterday to Mlle. Olympe, and pity for what you are perhaps still ready to do to me. —
原谅我昨天对奥利姆普小姐说的话，并对你对待我的行为表示同情。 —

Intentionally or not, since your return you have given me so much pain that I should be incapable now of enduring a fourth part of what I have endured till now. —
从你回来以来，无论有意还是无意，你给了我很多痛苦，以至于我现在已经无法忍受我之前所承受的四分之一的痛苦。 —

You will have pity on me, won’t you? And you will understand that a man who is not heartless has other nobler things to do than to take his revenge upon a sick and sad woman like me. —
你会同情我，对吗？你会理解一个非冷酷无情的人除了向一个生病和悲伤的女人报复外，还有更高尚的事情要做。 —

See, take my hand. I am in a fever. I left my bed to come to you, and ask, not for your friendship, but for your indifference.”
看，给我把手。我发着烧。我离开了床来找你，并不是为了你的友谊，而是为了你的冷漠。

I took Marguerite’s hand. It was burning, and the poor woman shivered under her fur cloak.
我拉着玛格丽特的手。她的手烧得发烫，可怜的女人在皮袍下瑟瑟发抖。

I rolled the arm-chair in which she was sitting up to the fire.
我把她坐着的扶手椅推到火炉旁。

“Do you think, then, that I did not suffer,” said I, “on that night when, after waiting for you in the country, I came to look for you in Paris, and found nothing but the letter which nearly drove me mad? —
“你难道认为那时我没有痛苦吗？”我说，“那个晚上，在乡间等了你又来巴黎找你，结果只找到这封几乎把我逼疯的信？ —

How could you have deceived me, Marguerite, when I loved you so much?
当我那么爱你的时候，你怎么能欺骗我，玛格丽特？

“Do not speak of that, Armand; I did not come to speak of that. —
“别提那个，阿尔芒；我来并不是为了说那个。 —

I wanted to see you only not an enemy, and I wanted to take your hand once more. —
我只是想见你，不再当个敌人，我想再次握一下你的手。 —

You have a mistress; she is young, pretty, you love her they say. —
你有一个情妇，她年轻漂亮，据说你爱她。 —

Be happy with her and forget me.”
与她在一起快乐，忘记我吧。”

“And you. You are happy, no doubt?”
“那你。你快乐，对吧？”

“Have I the face of a happy woman, Armand? —
“我看上去像个快乐的女人吗，阿尔芒？ —

Do not mock my sorrow, you, who know better than anyone what its cause and its depth are.”
不要嘲笑我的悲痛，你是比任何人都更清楚它的原因和深度。

“It only depended on you not to have been unhappy at all, if you are as you say.”
如果你真的如你所说的那样，只要你不曾感到不幸就好了。

“No, my friend; circumstances were stronger than my will. —
不，我的朋友；环境比我的意愿更强大。 —

I obeyed, not the instincts of a light woman, as you seem to say, but a serious necessity, and reasons which you will know one day, and which will make you forgive me.”
我遵从的不是一个轻浮女人的本性，就像你所说的那样，而是一种严重的需求和你某天会知道的理由，这些理由会让你原谅我。

“Why do you not tell me those reasons to-day?”
你为什么今天不告诉我那些理由呢？

“Because they would not bring about an impossible reunion between us, and they would separate you perhaps from those from whom you must not be separated.”
因为它们不会导致我们不可能的团聚，而且它们可能让你与那些你不能离开的人分开。

“Who do you mean?”
你指的是谁？

“I can not tell you.”
我不能告诉你。

“Then you are lying to me.”
那么你在对我撒谎。

Marguerite rose and went toward the door. —
玛格丽特站起身朝门口走去。 —

I could not behold this silent and expressive sorrow without being touched, when I compared in my mind this pale and weeping woman with the madcap who had made fun of me at the Opera Comique.
我无法看着这个沉默而表达深情的悲伤而不感动，当我把这个苍白哭泣的女人与那个在歌剧院取笑我时的疯狂女孩相比较时。

“You shall not go,” I said, putting myself in front of the door.
“你不可以走”，我说着，站在门前。

“Why?”
“为什么？”

“Because, in spite of what you have done to me, I love you always, and I want you to stay here.”
“因为，尽管你对我做过什么，我仍然爱你，并且我希望你留在这里。”

“To turn me out to-morrow? No; it is impossible. Our destinies are separate; —
“把我明天赶出去？不，这是不可能的。我们的命运是分开的； —

do not try to reunite them. You will despise me perhaps, while now you can only hate me.”
不要试图让它们重新连接。也许你会鄙视我，而现在你只能恨我。”

“No, Marguerite,” I cried, feeling all my love and all my desire reawaken at the contact of this woman. —
“不，玛格丽特”，我喊着，感受到我对这个女人的所有爱和渴望重新燃起。 —

“No, I will forget everything, and we will be happy as we promised one another that we would be.”
“不，我会忘记一切，我们将会像承诺过的那样幸福。”

Marguerite shook her head doubtfully, and said:
玛格丽特怀疑地摇了摇头，说道：

“Am I not your slave, your dog? Do with me what you will. Take me; I am yours.”
“我不是你的奴隶，你的狗吗？随你怎么对待我。带走我吧；我是你的。”

And throwing off her cloak and hat, she flung them on the sofa, and began hurriedly to undo the front of her dress, for, by one of those reactions so frequent in her malady, the blood rushed to her head and stifled her. —
说着，她褪下披风和帽子，将它们扔在沙发上，急忙解开衣服前面的扣子，因为在她常见的病发中的一种反应中，血涌向头部并使她窒息。 —

A hard, dry cough followed.
接着是一阵干燥的咳嗽。

“Tell my coachman,” she said, “to go back with the carriage.”
“告诉我的马车夫，”她说，“让车子掉头回去。”

I went down myself and sent him away. When I returned Marguerite was lying in front of the fire, and her teeth chattered with the cold.
我自己走下楼，把他打发走了。当我回来时，玛格丽特躺在火炉前，她的牙齿因寒冷而打颤。

I took her in my arms. I undressed her, without her making a movement, and carried her, icy cold, to the bed. —
我抱起她。她没有任何反应，我把她脱光衣服，然后抱着她，她冰凉的身体放到床上。 —

Then I sat beside her and tried to warm her with my caresses. —
然后我坐在她身边，试图用拥抱温暖她。 —

She did not speak a word, but smiled at me.
她没有说一句话，只是对我微笑。

It was a strange night. All Marguerite’s life seemed to have passed into the kisses with which she covered me, and I loved her so much that in my transports of feverish love I asked myself whether I should not kill her, so that she might never belong to another.
这是一个奇怪的夜晚。所有玛格丽特的生命似乎都浸入了她对我倾注的吻中，我如此深爱她，以至于在我热烈的爱意中，我想过是否应该杀死她，这样她就永远不会属于别人。

A month of love like that, and there would have remained only the corpse of heart or body.
一个月的爱情，如果持续下去，只会剩下一具心灵或肉体的尸体。

The dawn found us both awake. Marguerite was livid white. She did not speak a word. —
黎明时分我们都醒了。玛格丽特的脸色苍白。她一句话也没有说。 —

From time to time, big tears rolled from her eyes, and stayed upon her cheeks, shining like diamonds. —
时不时地，她的眼睛里滚下几滴大泪珠，停留在她的脸颊上，闪耀着如钻石般的光芒。 —

Her thin arms opened, from time to time, to hold me fast, and fell back helplessly upon the bed.
她那细弱的双臂时不时地张开，紧紧地抱住我，然后无力地落在床上。

For a moment it seemed to me as if I could forget all that had passed since I had left Bougival, and I said to Marguerite:
有一刻，我觉得仿佛可以忘记自从离开布吉瓦尔以来的一切，我对玛格丽特说道：

“Shall we go away and leave Paris?”
“我们要不要离开巴黎？”

“No, no!” she said, almost with affright; “we should be too unhappy. —
“不，不！”她几乎带着惊恐地说道，“我们会太不幸福。” —

I can do no more to make you happy, but while there is a breath of life in me, I will be the slave of your fancies. —
我无法再给你带来快乐，但只要我还活着，我愿意成为你想象的奴隶。 —

At whatever hour of the day or night you will, come, and I will be yours; —
不论白天黑夜，你来找我，我都是你的； —

but do not link your future any more with mine, you would be too unhappy and you would make me too unhappy. —
但不要再把你的未来与我的联系在一起，你会太不幸福，也会让我太不幸福。 —

I shall still be pretty for a while; make the most of it, but ask nothing more.”
我还会漂亮一段时间，好好珍惜吧，不要再要求别的了。”

When she had gone, I was frightened at the solitude in which she left me. —
当她离开后，我感到害怕，我独自一人。 —

Two hours afterward I was still sitting on the side of the bed, looking at the pillow which kept the imprint of her form, and asking myself what was to become of me, between my love and my jealousy.
个小时过去了，我仍然坐在床边，看着那个保留着她身形印记的枕头，问自己我之间的爱情和嫉妒之间将会发生什么。

At five o’clock, without knowing what I was going to do, I went to the Rue d’Antin.
点钟，我不知道我要做什么，我去了昂坦街。

Nanine opened to me.
宁给我开了门。

“Madame can not receive you,” she said in an embarrassed way.
夫人不能接见你，”她尴尬地说道。

“Why?”
为什么？”

“Because M. le Comte de N. is there, and he has given orders to let no one in.”
因为N伯爵先生在那里，并且他已经下了命令不让任何人进来。”

“Quite so,” I stammered; “I forgot.”
是的，”我结结巴巴地说，“我忘记了。”

I went home like a drunken man, and do you know what I did during the moment of jealous delirium which was long enough for the shameful thing I was going to do? —
像个喝醉的人一样回到家里，你知道我在忌妒的狂乱时刻做了什么可耻的事情吗？ —

I said to myself that the woman was laughing at me; —
告诉自己这个女人在嘲笑我； —

I saw her alone with the count, saying over to him the same words that she had said to me in the night, and taking a five-hundred-franc note I sent it to her with these words:
看见她和伯爵独处，对他说着她在夜里对我说过的同样的话，并拿了一张五百法郎的钞票送给她，附上这样的话：

“You went away so suddenly that I forgot to pay you. Here is the price of your night.”
你离开得这么突然，我忘了付给你。这是你晚上的费用。”

Then when the letter was sent I went out as if to free myself from the instantaneous remorse of this infamous action.
当信件寄出后，我离开了，仿佛要摆脱这一令人耻辱的行为带来的即时懊悔。

I went to see Olympe, whom I found trying on dresses, and when we were alone she sang obscene songs to amuse me. —
我去看奥林普，发现她正在试穿衣服，我们独处时，她唱下流的歌曲来逗我开心。 —

She was the very type of the shameless, heartless, senseless courtesan, for me at least, for perhaps some men might have dreamed of her as I dreamed of Marguerite. —
她完全就是那种无耻、无情、愚蠢的妓女，至少在我眼中是这样的，也许有些男人会像我对玛格丽特做梦一样对她做梦。 —

She asked me for money. I gave it to her, and, free then to go, I returned home.
她向我要钱。我给了她，然后自由地离开，回到了家。

Marguerite had not answered.
玛格丽特还没有回复。

I need not tell you in what state of agitation I spent the next day. —
我不需要告诉你我度过了下一天的多么焦虑的状态。 —

At half past nine a messenger brought me an envelope containing my letter and the five-hundred-franc note, not a word more.
九点半的时候，一个送信人给我送来一个信封，里面装着我的信和一张500法郎的纸币，没有一句话多。

“Who gave you this?” I asked the man.
“这是谁给你的？”我问送信人。

“A lady who was starting with her maid in the next mail for Boulogne, and who told me not to take it until the coach was out of the courtyard.”
“一位女士和她的女仆已经搭乘下一班马车前往布洛涅，她让我在马车离开庭院之后才接信。”

I rushed to the Rue d’Antin.
我冲向安坦路。

“Madame left for England at six o’clock,” said the porter.
“夫人六点钟前往英国了，”门卫说道。

There was nothing to hold me in Paris any longer, neither hate nor love. —
在巴黎再也没有什么能留住我，既没有恨，也没有爱。 —

I was exhausted by this series of shocks. —
我被这连串的震动所精疲力尽。 —

One of my friends was setting out on a tour in the East. I told my father I should like to accompany him; —
我的一个朋友准备去东方旅行。我告诉我父亲我想陪同他。 —

my father gave me drafts and letters of introduction, and eight or ten days afterward I embarked at Marseilles.
我父亲给了我汇票和介绍信，十来天后我在马赛登船。

It was at Alexandria that I learned from an attaché at the embassy, whom I had sometimes seen at Marguerite’s, that the poor girl was seriously ill.
在亚历山大港，我从大使馆一个随员那里得知了这个可怜的女孩病得很重。

I then wrote her the letter which she answered in the way you know; I received it at Toulon.
然后我写了给她的信，她以你所知的方式回复了我。我在土伦收到了这封信。

I started at once, and you know the rest.
我立刻动身，你知道后面的事情。

Now you have only to read a few sheets which Julie Duprat gave me; —
现在你只需阅读朱莉·杜普拉特给我的几页纸； —

they are the best commentary on what I have just told you.
它们是对我刚才讲述的最好的解释。