It was a long and gloomy night that gathered on me, haunted by the ghosts of many hopes, of many dear remembrances, many errors, many unavailing sorrows and regrets.
在我身上汇聚了一个漫长而阴郁的夜晚，被许多希望的幽灵、许多珍贵的回忆、许多错误、许多徒劳的悲伤和遗憾所困扰。

I went away from England; not knowing, even then, how great the shock was, that I had to bear. —
我离开了英格兰；甚至当时我并不知道，我将要承受多大的冲击。 —

I left all who were dear to me, and went away; and believed that I had borne it, and it was past. —
我离开了所有我所珍爱的人，然后远走他乡；我相信我已承受了一切，而它已经过去了。 —

As a man upon a field of battle will receive a mortal hurt, and scarcely know that he is struck, so I, when I was left alone with my undisciplined heart, had no conception of the wound with which it had to strive.
就如同一个在战场上受到致命伤的人几乎不会感到自己受伤一样，当我独自一人背负着不受训练的心时，我并没有认识到它所要面对的伤口。

The knowledge came upon me, not quickly, but little by little, and grain by grain. —
知识并非一蹴而就，而是逐渐地、一点一点地增长。 —

The desolate feeling with which I went abroad, deepened and widened hourly. —
我离乡背井时那种荒凉的感觉越来越加剧和拓宽。 —

At first it was a heavy sense of loss and sorrow, wherein I could distinguish little else. —
起初只是一种沉重的失落和悲伤感，我几乎只能分辨出这一点。 —

By imperceptible degrees, it became a hopeless consciousness of all that I had lost - love, friendship, interest; —
逐渐地，它演变成对我所失去的一切的绝望意识——爱情、友情、兴趣； —

of all that had been shattered - my first trust, my first affection, the whole airy castle of my life; —
对我所破碎的一切的绝望意识——第一次的信任、第一次的感情，我整个生命里的虚幻的城堡； —

of all that remained - a ruined blank and waste, lying wide around me, unbroken, to the dark horizon.
对于所剩下的一切的绝望意识——一片废墟般的空白和荒野，广阔无垠，延伸到黑暗的地平线。

If my grief were selfish, I did not know it to be so. —
如果我的悲伤是自私的，我并不自知。 —

I mourned for my child-wife, taken from her blooming world, so young. —
我为我的儿时妻子而哀伤，她年幼被带走，处在她那繁华的世界中。 —

I mourned for him who might have won the love and admiration of thousands, as he had won mine long ago. —
我哀伤那个本可能赢得成千上万爱与钦佩的人的他，就像他很早以前赢得了我的赞美一样。 —

I mourned for the broken heart that had found rest in the stormy sea; —
我为那颗已在暴风海洋中得到平静的破碎心灵而哀伤； —

and for the wandering remnants of the simple home, where I had heard the night-wind blowing, when I was a child.
为了那个简朴家园的残余碎片，我在孩童时听到夜风的呼啸而哀伤。

From the accumulated sadness into which I fell, I had at length no hope of ever issuing again. —
从我陷入的积累的悲伤中，我终于不再抱有任何希望。 —

I roamed from place to place, carrying my burden with me everywhere. I felt its whole weight now; —
我流浪于各地，随身携带着我的负担。我感到整个重量现在； —

and I drooped beneath it, and I said in my heart that it could never be lightened.
我感到压得喘不过气来，并且我心里认为它永远都无法减轻。

When this despondency was at its worst, I believed that I should die. —
当这种绝望达到最严重的时候，我以为我会死。 —

Sometimes, I thought that I would like to die at home; —
有时候，我觉得我想回家死去； —

and actually turned back on my road, that I might get there soon. —
实际上转身返回，以便尽快回到家。 —

At other times, I passed on farther away, -from city to city, seeking I know not what, and trying to leave I know not what behind.
在其他时候，我继续向更远处走去，-从城市到城市，寻找我不知道的东西，试图抛开我不知道的东西。

It is not in my power to retrace, one by one, all the weary phases of distress of mind through which I passed. —
我无法逐一回溯我经历过的心灵痛苦的所有厌倦阶段。 —

There are some dreams that can only be imperfectly and vaguely described; —
有些梦境只能用不完整和模糊的方式描述； —

and when I oblige myself to look back on this time of my life, I seem to be recalling such a dream. —
当我迫使自己回顾我生命中的这段时间时，我似乎在回忆着这样一个梦。 —

I see myself passing on among the novelties of foreign towns, palaces, cathedrals, temples, pictures, castles, tombs, fantastic streets - the old abiding places of History and Fancy - as a dreamer might; —
我看到自己穿行于外国城镇、宫殿、大教堂、寺庙、画廊、城堡、陵墓、幻想般的街道中心-作为一个梦想者； —

bearing my painful load through all, and hardly conscious of the objects as they fade before me. —
在所有这些中背负着我的痛苦负担，并且几乎没有意识到这些物体逐渐在我面前消失。 —

Listlessness to everything, but brooding sorrow, was the night that fell on my undisciplined heart. —
对一切无动于衷，只有阴郁的悲伤，是笼罩在我放荡心中的夜晚。 —

Let me look up from it - as at last I did, thank Heaven! —
让我从中抬头吧-正如最后我感到的，感谢上天！ —

• and from its long, sad, wretched dream, to dawn.
  -从它漫长、悲伤、可怜的梦中，到黎明。
  

For many months I travelled with this ever-darkening cloud upon my mind. —
多个月来，我的心灵上笼罩着这片日益昏暗的阴云。 —

Some blind reasons that I had for not returning home - reasons then struggling within me, vainly, for more distinct expression - kept me on my pilgrimage. —
我有一些盲目的理由，不愿意回家——当时在我内心挣扎着，徒劳地寻找更明确的表达方式，使我继续我的朝圣之旅。 —

Sometimes, I had proceeded restlessly from place to place, stopping nowhere; —
有时我不安地从一个地方到另一个地方，没有停留； —

sometimes, I had lingered long in one spot. —
有时我在一个地方逗留很久。 —

I had had no purpose, no sustaining soul within me, anywhere.
我没有目的，没有支持我的灵魂。

I was in Switzerland. I had come out of Italy, over one of the great passes of the Alps, and had since wandered with a guide among the by-ways of the mountains. —
我在瑞士。我从意大利出来，穿越了阿尔卑斯山脉的一个大通道，从此与向导一起在山区小径中游荡。 —

If those awful solitudes had spoken to my heart, I did not know it. —
如果那些可怕的荒野曾对我的心灵说话，我并不知道。 —

I had found sublimity and wonder in the dread heights and precipices, in the roaring torrents, and the wastes of ice and snow; —
在可怕的高峰和悬崖、怒吼的山涧和冰雪覆盖的荒原中，我发现了崇高和奇迹； —

but as yet, they had taught me nothing else.
但到目前为止，它们并没有教会我其他什么。

I came, one evening before sunset, down into a valley, where I was to rest. —
一个傍晚，在日落前，我走进了一个我将要休息的山谷。 —

In the course of my descent to it, by the winding track along the mountain-side, from which I saw it shining far below, I think some long-unwonted sense of beauty and tranquillity, some softening influence awakened by its peace, moved faintly in my breast. —
在沿着山腰蜿蜒的小路下到山谷时，从那里我看到它在远处闪耀，我觉得一种久违的美和宁静，一种被它的和平唤醒的柔和影响，在我胸中微微激动。 —

I remember pausing once, with a kind of sorrow that was not all oppressive, not quite despairing. —
我记得曾经停下来，有一种不全是沉重、也不完全绝望的悲哀。 —

I remember almost hoping that some better change was possible within me.
我几乎希望在我内心发生一些更好的变化。

I came into the valley, as the evening sun was shining on the remote heights of snow, that closed it in, like eternal clouds. —
夕阳照耀在遥远的积雪覆盖的高峰上，将它困在其中，如同永恒的云。 —

The bases of the mountains forming the gorge in which the little village lay, were richly green; —
构成环绕小村庄的峡谷的山的基底郁郁葱葱； —

and high above this gentler vegetation, grew forests of dark fir, cleaving the wintry snow-drift, wedge-like, and stemming the avalanche. —
高高耸立在这些温和植被之上的是一片黑色的冷杉森林，像楔形一样切开冬季的积雪，阻挡着雪崩。 —

Above these, were range upon range of craggy steeps, grey rock, bright ice, and smooth verdure-specks of pasture, all gradually blending with the crowning snow. —
在这些上面，是一层层嶙峋陡峭的岩石、灰色的岩石、明亮的冰雪和绿色的草地斑点，逐渐与封顶的积雪融为一体。 —

Dotted here and there on the mountain’s-side, each tiny dot a home, were lonely wooden cottages, so dwarfed by the towering heights that they appeared too small for toys. —
在山的一侧点缀着孤独的木制小屋，每一个微小的点都是一个家，它们被高耸的山体显得微不足道，仿佛太小了以至于不适合作玩具。 —

So did even the clustered village in the valley, with its wooden bridge across the stream, where the stream tumbled over broken rocks, and roared away among the trees. —
甚至即使在山谷里的村庄，也被木桥跨过小溪，溪流奔腾穿过断裂的岩石，在树木间咆哮的溪流，也显得微不足道。 —

In the quiet air, there was a sound of distant singing - shepherd voices; —
在宁静的空气中传来了远处的歌声-牧羊人的歌声； —

but, as one bright evening cloud floated midway along the mountain’s-side, I could almost have believed it came from there, and was not earthly music. —
但是，当一朵明亮的晚霞云漂浮在山体的中部时，我几乎以为声音来自那里，不是来自尘世的音乐。 —

All at once, in this serenity, great Nature spoke to me; —
突然间，在这宁静中，巨大的自然与我交谈； —

and soothed me to lay down my weary head upon the grass, and weep as I had not wept yet, since Dora died!
安抚我躺在草地上，让我放下疲惫的头，哭泣，自从多拉去世以来我还没有哭过这么伤心！

I had found a packet of letters awaiting me but a few minutes before, and had strolled out of the village to read them while my supper was making ready. —
几分钟前我发现了一封等待我的信，当我在村庄外漫步时，我就读着信，而我的晚餐正在准备中。 —

Other packets had missed me, and I had received none for a long time. —
其他的包裹错过了我，我好久没收到信了。 —

Beyond a line or two, to say that I was well, and had arrived at such a place, I had not had fortitude or constancy to write a letter since I left home.
除了几行话告诉我自己一切安好，并且抵达某个地方之外，我没勇气或坚定的意志写信自离开家以来。

The packet was in my hand. I opened it, and read the writing of Agnes.
信封就在我手里。我打开了它，读到了阿格尼丝的字迹。

She was happy and useful, was prospering as she had hoped. —
她很幸福很有用，正如她所希望的那样茁壮成长。 —

That was all she told me of herself. The rest referred to me.
关于她自己，她没告诉我更多。其余的都是关于我。

She gave me no advice; she urged no duty on me; —
她没有给我建议；她没有向我提出责任； —

she only told me, in her own fervent manner, what her trust in me was. —
她只以自己热切的方式告诉我，她对我的信任是什么。 —

She knew (she said) how such a nature as mine would turn affliction to good. —
她知道（她说）像我这样的性格会把痛苦转化为好处。 —

She knew how trial and emotion would exalt and strengthen it. —
她知道考验和情感会提升并加强它。 —

She was sure that in my every purpose I should gain a firmer and a higher tendency, through the grief I had undergone. —
她确信在我每一个目标中，我都会通过我所经历的悲伤获得更加坚定和更高的倾向。 —

She, who so gloried in my fame, and so looked forward to its augmentation, well knew that I would labour on. —
她，如此自豪于我的名声，并如此期待它的增长，深知我会继续努力。 —

She knew that in me, sorrow could not be weakness, but must be strength. —
她知道在我身上，悲伤不能成为软弱，而必须是力量。 —

As the endurance of my childish days had done its part to make me what I was, so greater calamities would nerve me on, to be yet better than I was; —
就像我童年时所忍受的一切已经让我成为现在的我一样，更大的灾难会激励我变得比我更好； —

and so, as they had taught me, would I teach others. —
因此，就像它们教导我一样，我也会教导别人。 —

She commended me to God, who had taken my innocent darling to His rest; —
她把我托付给上帝，上帝已经带走了我的无辜的宝贝； —

and in her sisterly affection cherished me always, and was always at my side go where I would; —
在她姐姐般的情感中，她总是珍爱我，无论我走到哪里； —

proud of what I had done, but infinitely prouder yet of what I was reserved to do.
对我所做的感到自豪，但对我未来要做的感到更为自豪。

I put the letter in my breast, and thought what had I been an hour ago! —
我把信放在胸前，想到一个小时前的自己！ —

When I heard the voices die away, and saw the quiet evening cloud grow dim, and all the colours in the valley fade, and the golden snow upon the mountain-tops become a remote part of the pale night sky, yet felt that the night was passing from my mind, and all its shadows clearing, there was no name for the love I bore her, dearer to me, henceforward, than ever until then.
当我听到声音逐渐远去，看到宁静的傍晚云变得昏暗，山顶上的金色积雪变成苍白的夜空的一部分，却感觉到夜晚正从我的思绪中消失，所有的阴影都消散时，我对她的爱已经无法用言语表达了，从此后比以往任何时候更加珍视她。

I read her letter many times. I wrote to her before I slept. —
我读了她的信很多次。我在睡前写信给她。 —

I told her that I had been in sore need of her help; —
我告诉她我急需她的帮助； —

that without her I was not, and I never had been, what she thought me; —
没有她，我就不会存在，我也从未成为她心目中的那个我； —

but that she inspired me to be that, and I would try.
但她激励我成为那个样子，我会努力。

I did try. In three months more, a year would have passed since the beginning of my sorrow. —
我确实尝试了。三个月后，一年自从我开始悲伤已经过去。 —

I determined to make no resolutions until the expiration of those three months, but to try. —
我决定在那三个月结束之前不做任何决定，只是尝试。 —

I lived in that valley, and its neighbourhood, all the time.
我一直生活在那个山谷及其附近。

The three months gone, I resolved to remain away from home for some time longer; —
三个月过去了，我决定离家更久一段时间； —

to settle myself for the present in Switzerland, which was growing dear to me in the remembrance of that evening; —
在瑞士安定下来，那个晚上对我而言变得珍贵； —

to resume my pen; to work.
继续写字；工作。

I resorted humbly whither Agnes had commended me; I sought out Nature, never sought in vain; —
我谦卑地去了Agnes推荐的地方；我寻找自然，从未白费； —

and I admitted to my breast the human interest I had lately shrunk from. —
我打开心扉，接纳了我最近一直回避的人情世故。 —

It was not long, before I had almost as many friends in the valley as in Yarmouth: —
我在山谷交了几乎和在亚默斯的朋友一样多。 —

and when I left it, before the winter set in, for Geneva, and came back in the spring, their cordial greetings had a homely sound to me, although they were not conveyed in English words.
当我于冬天来临前去了日内瓦，春天回来时，他们热情的问候听起来很亲切，尽管不是用英语表达。

I worked early and late, patiently and hard. —
我努力地早起晚睡工作。 —

I wrote a Story, with a purpose growing, not remotely, out of my experience, and sent it to Traddles, and he arranged for its publication very advantageously for me; —
我写了一个故事，目的并非遥远，而是源自我的经历，然后将其寄给了特拉德尔斯，他很有利地安排了它的出版； —

and the tidings of my growing reputation began to reach me from travellers whom I encountered by chance. —
我的声誉逐渐传开，我开始从偶然遇到的旅行者那里听到。 —

After some rest and change, I fell to work, in my old ardent way, on a new fancy, which took strong possession of me. —
在休息和改变了一段时间后，我以我一贯热情的方式投入了一项新的幻想，它强烈地占据了我的心。 —

As I advanced in the execution of this task, I felt it more and more, and roused my utmost energies to do it well. —
随着我在执行这项任务上的进展，我感到了更多的动力，激发了我最大的能量来完成它。 —

This was my third work of fiction. It was not half written, when, in an interval of rest, I thought of returning home.
这是我写的第三部小说。在一段休息的间隙，半完成之时，我考虑着回家。

For a long time, though studying and working patiently, I had accustomed myself to robust exercise. —
很长一段时间，虽然耐心地学习和工作，但我习惯于强健的锻炼。 —

My health, severely impaired when I left England, was quite restored. I had seen much. —
当我离开英国时，我的健康状况严重受损，但现在已完全恢复。我见过很多。 —

I had been in many countries, and I hope I had improved my store of knowledge.
我去过很多国家，希望我已经增加了知识储备。

I have now recalled all that I think it needful to recall here, of this term of absence - with one reservation. —
我现在回想起我认为有必要在这里回想的一切，关于这段离别的时间 - 仅一点例外。 —

I have made it, thus far, with no purpose of suppressing any of my thoughts; —
我迄今为止所写的并没有任何压制我的想法的目的； —

for, as I have elsewhere said, this narrative is my written memory. —
因为，如我在其他地方所说，这个叙述是我的文字记忆。 —

I have desired to keep the most secret current of my mind apart, and to the last. —
我希望将我内心最隐秘的潜流与最后的一切分开。 —

I enter on it now. I cannot so completely penetrate the mystery of my own heart, as to know when I began to think that I might have set its earliest and brightest hopes on Agnes. I cannot say at what stage of my grief it first became associated with the reflection, that, in my wayward boyhood, I had thrown away the treasure of her love. —
我现在开始讲述这一部分。我无法完全探究我自己心灵的奥秘，以知道我何时开始觉得我可能已经将最早和最耀眼的希望寄托在了阿格尼丝身上。我不能说出在我悲伤的过程中的哪个阶段，它第一次与我在任性的少年时期抛弃她的爱的宝藏这一反思联系在一起。 —

I believe I may have heard some whisper of that distant thought, in the old unhappy loss or want of something never to be realized, of which I had been sensible. —
我相信我可能曾在那久远的失落或某种永不实现的渴望的旧伤之中，曾经有过这种隐约的想法的耳语。 —

But the thought came into my mind as a new reproach and new regret, when I was left so sad and lonely in the world.
但在我如此悲伤和孤独的时候，这个想法进入我的脑海，成为一种新的责备和新的遗憾。

If, at that time, I had been much with her, I should, in the weakness of my desolation, have betrayed this. —
如果那时我跟她在一起很多，我在我悲痛的无助中本应会透露这一点。 —

It was what I remotely dreaded when I was first impelled to stay away from England. —
这正是当我初次被驱使远离英国时所远远忧虑的，在我如此悲伤和孤独的时候。 —

I could not have borne to lose the smallest portion of her sisterly affection; —
我不忍心失去她姐妹般的感情; —

yet, in that betrayal, I should have set a constraint between us hitherto unknown.
然而，在那背叛中，我应该在我们之间设立一个以前未知的限制。

I could not forget that the feeling with which she now regarded me had grown up in my own free choice and course. —
我不会忘记她现在对我的感情是在我自己的自由选择和行为下产生的。 —

That if she had ever loved me with another love - and I sometimes thought the time was when she might have done so - I had cast it away. —
如果她曾用另一种爱爱过我 - 有时我想可能曾经这样 - 我已经将它抛弃了。 —

It was nothing, now, that I had accustomed myself to think of her, when we were both mere children, as one who was far removed from my wild fancies. —
现在，我当时习惯于把她想象成和我这个疯狂的幻想远离的孩子之一，已经不算什么了。 —

I had bestowed my passionate tenderness upon another object; —
我已经将我热情的柔情寄托在另一个对象上； —

and what I might have done, I had not done; —
我没有做过的事； —

and what Agnes was to me, I and her own noble heart had made her.
我们是我和她自己高贵的心灵塑造了她。

In the beginning of the change that gradually worked in me, when I tried to get a better understanding of myself and be a better man, I did glance, through some indefinite probation, to a period when I might possibly hope to cancel the mistaken past, and to be so blessed as to marry her. —
在我渐渐发生的变化的开始，当我试图更好地理解自己并成为更好的人时，我曾经想过可能会有一天能取消错误的过去，如此幸运得与她结合。 —

But, as time wore on, this shadowy prospect faded, and departed from me. —
但是，随着时间的推移，这种虚影的前景渐渐消退了。 —

If she had ever loved me, then, I should hold her the more sacred; —
如果她曾爱过我，那么我应该更加尊重她； —

remembering the confidences I had reposed in her, her knowledge of my errant heart, the sacrifice she must have made to be my friend and sister, and the victory she had won. —
记得我曾对她倾诉的秘密，她了解我飘忽不定的心，她必须为了成为我的朋友和姐妹所做的牺牲，以及她赢得的胜利。 —

If she had never loved me, could I believe that she would love me now?
如果她从没爱过我，我能相信她现在会爱我吗？

I had always felt my weakness, in comparison with her constancy and fortitude; —
与她的坚忍和坚韧相比，我一直感到自己的软弱； —

and now I felt it more and more. Whatever I might have been to her, or she to me, if I had been more worthy of her long ago, I was not now, and she was not. —
而现在我感到这点越来越明显。无论我曾经对她意味着什么，或她对我意味着什么，如果我很久以前更配得上她，那么我现在不是，她也不是。 —

The time was past. I had let it go by, and had deservedly lost her.
时间已经过去了。我错过了时机，理所当然地失去了她。

That I suffered much in these contentions, that they filled me with unhappiness and remorse, and yet that I had a sustaining sense that it was required of me, in right and honour, to keep away from myself, with shame, the thought of turning to the dear girl in the withering of my hopes, from whom I had frivolously turned when they were bright and fresh - which consideration was at the root of every thought I had concerning her - is all equally true. —
我在这些争执中受了很多苦，它们充满了我不快和懊悔，然而我坚定地感觉到，按照正义和荣誉，我必须远离自己，带着羞耻，不敢想象，在我希望凋落的时候转向那个我曾经轻率地抛弃过的可爱女孩 - 这个考虑是我思考她时的基础 - 所有这些都是真实的。 —

I made no effort to conceal from myself, now, that I loved her, that I was devoted to her; —
我没有试图掩饰，现在我承认我爱她，我对她忠心耿耿； —

but I brought the assurance home to myself, that it was now too late, and that our long-subsisting relation must be undisturbed.
但我确信自己，现在来说已经太迟了，我们长期维持的关系必须保持不变。

I had thought, much and often, of my Dora’s shadowing out to me what might have happened, in those years that were destined not to try us; —
我曾多次想象我多拉曾告诉我，在那些注定不会考验我们的岁月里，可能发生了什么； —

I had considered how the things that never happen, are often as much realities to us, in their effects, as those that are accomplished. —
我考虑到那些从未发生的事情，通常会对我们产生同样的真实影响，比如那些已经实现的事情。 —

The very years she spoke of, were realities now, for my correction; —
她说过的那几年，现在成了我纠正错误的现实； —

and would have been, one day, a little later perhaps, though we had parted in our earliest folly. —
并且会在一天，稍晚一点也许，我们在最初的愚蠢中分开。 —

I endeavoured to convert what might have been between myself and Agnes, into a means of making me more self-denying, more resolved, more conscious of myself, and my defects and errors. —
我试图将我和艾格尼丝之间本可能存在的情感，转化为使我更加克制、更有决心、更加自省、更加知晓自己和我的缺陷和错误。 —

Thus, through the reflection that it might have been, I arrived at the conviction that it could never be.
通过可能发生的事情，我得出结论，它永远不会发生。

These, with their perplexities and inconsistencies, were the shifting quicksands of my mind, from the time of my departure to the time of my return home, three years afterwards. —
这些困惑和矛盾，是我心灵中的流动流沙，从我离开到三年后回家的时候。 —

Three years had elapsed since the sailing of the emigrant ship; —
自从移民船启程已有三年时间； —

when, at that same hour of sunset, and in the same place, I stood on the deck of the packet vessel that brought me home, looking on the rosy water where I had seen the image of that ship reflected.
在夕阳的同一时刻，同一个地方，我站在送我回家的邮轮的甲板上，看着那片曾经见过那条船倒影的粉红水面。

Three years. Long in the aggregate, though short as they went by. —
三年。在总体上很长，但过得很快。 —

And home was very dear to me, and Agnes too - but she was not mine - she was never to be mine. —
家对我来说非常珍贵，艾格尼丝也是 - 但她不属于我 - 她永远不会属于我。 —

She might have been, but that was past!
她可能过去曾经是，但那已经过去了！