1、我最大的缺点，就是缺点钱……
1. My biggest disadvantage is that I lack money…
2、铁杵能磨成针，但木杵只能磨成牙签，材料不对，再努力也没用。
2. An iron rod can be ground into a needle, but a wooden rod can only be ground into a toothpick; if the material is not right, no amount of effort will help.
3、青春献给了房子，中年献给了孩子。
3. Youth is dedicated to houses, and middle age is dedicated to children.
4、女追男，隔层纱。男追女，隔层妈。
4. When a girl chases a boy, there’s only a layer of gauze between them. When a boy chases a girl, there’s a layer of mom between them.
5、明月几时有。抬头自己瞅。
5. When will the bright moon appear? Just look up and see for yourself.
6、到了山顶才发现，错误的路和正确的路就差那么几步的距离。
6. Only when reaching the mountain top do I realize that the wrong path and the right path are just a few steps apart.
7、乐观者在灾祸中看到机会，悲观者在机会中看到灾祸。
7. Optimists see opportunities in disasters, while pessimists see disasters in opportunities.
8、生气是拿别人的错误来惩罚自己。
8. Getting angry is punishing oneself for someone else’s mistake.
9、没有钱，没有权，再不对你好点，你能跟我？
9. No money, no power, if I don’t treat you better, would you stay with me?
10、宁和明白人打一架，不跟SB说句话！
10. I’d rather have a fight with a sensible person than talk with a fool!
11、大女人不可一日无权，小女人不可一日无钱！
11. Strong women cannot go a day without power, and weak women cannot go a day without money!
12、不是我不笑，一笑粉就掉－－！
12. It’s not that I don’t smile, it’s just that when I smile, my makeup falls off --!
13、再难再苦，就当自己是二百五，再难再险，就当自己是二皮脸。
13. No matter how difficult or tough it is, just think of yourself as a fool, and when facing danger, think of yourself as shameless.
14、我的电话号码是，欢迎大家踊跃拨打。
14. My phone number is, everyone is welcome to call me.
15、有一个钥匙掉进粪坑，被染成了黄色，江湖上就叫他“东邪”……
15. A key fell into a dung pit and was dyed yellow, so people in the jianghu call him “Eastern Xie”…
16、在海边不要讲笑话，会引起“海笑”的。
16. Don’t tell jokes by the seaside, or it will cause a “sea laugh”.
17、好男人都去当和尚了，好女人都去当尼姑了，所以说：师太你就从了老衲吧。
17. Good men have become monks, and good women have become nuns, so saying: “Master Ni, please yield to me.”
18、你门所谓的公共场所，在我眼里只是厕所。
18. What you call public places are just toilets in my eyes.
19、其实我不猥琐，只是单纯的不明显。
19. Actually, I’m not indecent, it’s just that my innocence is not obvious.
20、世界是我们的，也是孩子们的，但最终是那帮孙子们的！
20. The world belongs to us and to the children, but in the end, it belongs to those little rascals!
21、别试图教猪唱歌，不但没有结果还惹猪不高兴！
21. Don’t try to teach a pig to sing; it won’t work and will only make the pig unhappy!
22、好想大睡一场，大玩一场，大吃一场，大笑一场，还有大哭一场。
22. I really want to have a good sleep, a good play, a big feast, a hearty laugh, and a good cry.
23、蓦然回首，身旁那人端着豆浆站在楼梯口。
23. Suddenly looking back, the person next to me is holding soy milk at the stairway entrance.
24、你要相信，相信我们会像童话故事里，青蛙和恐龙是结局。
24. You have to believe that we will end up like in a fairy tale, where frogs and dinosaurs have a happy ending.
25、真正的XX高手，全身上下无一不是武器，大江南北无一不是场地。
25. A true XX master has every part of their body as a weapon and every corner of the world as their field of play.
26、所谓网恋，就是传说中的一种可以取人贞操于千里之外的行为。
26. So-called online romance is a legendary act that can take someone’s chastity from a thousand miles away.
27、这个世界没有什么事情不可能发生的，就象李宇春都可以是女的一样，刘着可以是男的一样。
27. Nothing is impossible in this world, just like how Li Yuchun can be a woman and Liu Zhu can be a man.
28、红颜祸水本来是个并列性词语，红颜是指女人，祸水是指男人，红颜祸水其实是女人男人的意思。
28. The term “beautiful disaster” is originally a parallel phrase: “beautiful” refers to women, and “disaster” refers to men. “Beautiful disaster” actually means both women and men.
29、女人其实是一种极度危险的动物。她的美色与其
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