1.笑只是个表情，与快乐无关。
1. A smile is just a facial expression, unrelated to happiness.

2.好女人是一所学校，好男人毕业了可留校任教。
2. A good woman is like a school, and a good man can stay and teach after graduation.

3.在熟悉的东西，将来也会慢慢的淡忘，最后只剩下片刻回忆。
3. Even the most familiar things will gradually fade away in the future, leaving only a moment of memories.

4.如果蚊子不吸血，改行抽脂肪，那它会是多么可爱的小生灵啊。
4. If mosquitoes didn’t suck blood and instead started extracting fat, how cute a little creature it would be.

5.你以为你是酒，越放越有味，其实你是屁，一会儿就没味。
5. You think you’re like wine, getting better with age, but in fact, you’re like a fart, gone in a moment.

6.最讨厌的是，在我努力试着放下的时候，你又出现在我面前。
6. The worst thing is that when I’m trying hard to let go, you show up in front of me again.

7.现在的社会是：头脑社会，金钱拿人。你可以很贵，也可以免费。
7. Nowadays, society is a brain-based, money-driven world. You can be expensive or free.

8.我女友一定是路痴，所以才到现在都还没有找到我。
8. My girlfriend must be a terrible navigator, that’s why she hasn’t found me yet.

9.别以为你头上顶坨屎，你就是金刚葫芦娃。
9. Don’t think that just because you have a turd on your head, you’re the mighty Gourd娃.

10.不是我不敢说实话，我只是怕你受不了这打击。
10. It’s not that I’m afraid to tell the truth, I’m just afraid you can’t handle the blow.

11.其实我真的是乖孩子，只是你用了怪眼光来看我。
11. In fact, I’m a good kid, it’s just that you’re looking at me with strange eyes.

12.现在世道变了，卫生巾都贵的买不起。
12. The world has changed, and even sanitary pads are too expensive to afford.

13.单身久了，突然发现最近看母猪也觉得它很眉清目秀啊。
13. Being single for so long, I suddenly find that even a pig looks pretty to me these days.

14.所谓成功女人就是：白天很牛B，晚上B很牛。
14. A successful woman is one who is very powerful during the day, and very wild at night.

15.我不会再因你而改变，也不会再犹豫说再见。
15. I won’t change for you anymore, nor will I hesitate to say goodbye.

16.当生活给你一百个理由哭时，你就拿一千个理由笑给它看。
16. When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show it a thousand reasons to smile.

17.你我之间本无缘分，全靠我颜值死撑。
17. There’s no fate between you and me, it’s all thanks to my good looks that I’m holding on.

18.虽然我没有巴黎欧莱雅懂你，但是你的益达满了。
18. Although I don’t understand you as well as L’Oréal Paris, your yogurt is full.

19.人生最大的抉择就是选择品尝咖啡味的屎，还是屎味的咖啡。
19. The biggest choice in life is choosing between tasting coffee-flavored poop or poop-flavored coffee.

20.你若选择做狗，我就牵绳遛你走你走，不玩死你这贱人我就不撒手。
20. If you choose to be a dog, I’ll lead you on a leash and walk you around, and I won’t let go until I’ve had my fun with you, you despicable person.

21.当我看到美男时请不要问我怎么怪怪的，我装逼模式已开启。
21. When I see a handsome guy, don’t ask me what’s wrong. My “showing off” mode is already on.

22.最明目张胆的恭维，就是把“悍妇撒泼”说成是“贵妃醉酒”。
22. The most blatant compliment is to describe a “tiger wife” as “a drunken imperial concubine.”

23.我不去想是否能够成功，既然选择了远方，便只顾风雨兼程!
23. I don’t think about whether I can succeed. Since I’ve chosen the distance, I’ll just go through wind and rain!

24.不要和姐玩曖昧，和姐玩曖昧的都必須娶姐!
24. Don’t play with me ambiguously. Those who play with me must marry me!

25.妈妈说：就算吃醋也要装的跟喝了酱油似的，不能让别人瞧不起。
25. Mom said: Even if you’re jealous, you have to pretend as if you’ve drunk soy sauce, so that others won’t look down on you.

26.每天都在纠结着三件事晚上睡不着，早上起不来，后悔昨天睡太晚。
26. Every day I’m entangled in three things: not being able to sleep at night, not being able to get up in the morning, and regretting sleeping too late yesterday.

27.世界这么的大，我就不信没有一个爱我的人。
27. The world is so big, I just don’t believe there’s no one who loves me.

28.喜欢你，不需要什么理由;不喜欢你，什么都是理由。
28. Liking you doesn’t need any reason; disliking you, everything is a reason.

29.老婆分两种：可爱的和可恨的。老公分两种：可怜的和可以的。
29. Wives can be divided into two types: lovely and hateful. Husbands can be divided into two types: pitiful and acceptable.

30.还有什么资格吃，我再胖下去就没人要了。
30. What qualifications do I have to eat? If I get fatter, no one will want me.

31.我曾为你哭过，从此你不配拥有我的微笑。
31. I once cried for you, and from then on, you don’t deserve my smile.

32.再好的链子也拴不住想跑的狗，再好的待遇也满足不了贪婪的心。
32. No matter how good the chain is, it can’t tie a dog that wants to run away; no matter how good the treatment is, it can’t satisfy a greedy heart.

33.自从买了保险后，过马路都随随便便了!
33. Ever since I bought insurance, I’ve been careless when crossing the road!

34.像你这种人，在我导演的连续剧里，最多能让你活两集。
34. For people like you, in the TV series I direct, I can only let you live for two episodes at most.

35.一人去联通教移动话费，业务员直接叫老总，这有人砸场子。
35. A person went to China Unicom to teach how to pay for China Mobile’s phone bill, and the clerk directly called the boss, saying someone was here to smash the place.

36.给我一个支点，我能撬走你的女朋友。
36. Give me a fulcrum, and I can take away your girlfriend.

37.放下屠刀立地成佛的意思是，你放下屠刀的那一刻对方把你砍成两瓣儿了。
37. “Letting go of the butcher’s knife and becoming a Buddha on the spot” means that the moment you let go of the knife, the other party cuts you into two pieces.

38.人生偶尔就像养狗，你以为它为你所有，结果往往它会咬你一口。
38. Sometimes life is like raising a dog; you think it’s yours, but it often ends up biting you.

39.每次在街上看见很瘦的人，我都想分些肉给她，我有一颗善良的心。
39. Every time I see a thin person on the street, I want to share some of my meat with her, as I have a kind heart.

40.谁都不许伤害我姐妹，没我的允许，谁都TM都别想动我姐妹。
40. No one is allowed to hurt my sisters. Without my permission, no one can touch my sisters.

41.对着太阳，我一直闭着眼，不是因为太阳刺眼，而是因为我是瞎子。
41. Facing the sun, I always close my eyes, not because the sun is dazzling, but because I am blind.

42.羡慕你们这些有故事的人，不像我，一个帅字就贯穿了我的一生。
42. I envy you people who have stories, unlike me, a handsome word runs through my whole life.

43.你看我只对你笑，因为我忘了怎么哭。
43. You see me only smiling at you, because I forgot how to cry.

44.小时候玩猫捉老鼠，等老鼠们都藏好了，我这只猫就回家。
44. When I was a child, I played cat and mouse. After the mice were all hidden, I, the cat, went home.

45.为了面子我不敢找你，怕你认为我还放不下你，怕你嘲笑我。
45. For the sake of face, I dare not look for you, afraid that you think I still can’t let you go, afraid that you will laugh at me.

46.你再怎么鄙视我也没用，咱俩都是国产货。
46. It’s no use for you to despise me, we are both domestic products.

47.我未来的老公是个未知数，而会我喝到老的人也是未知数。
47. My future husband is an unknown, and the person who will drink with me until old is also an unknown.

48.我地理很好，

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