1.我每天早上都是被自己帅醒的。
1. I wake up every morning because of my own handsomeness.
2.今天我走在路上，有几个女生说我长得帅，我笑了笑，没有承认。他们就用砖头砸我，说我虚伪！
2. Today, I was walking on the street when a few girls told me I was handsome. I just smiled and didn’t admit it. They started throwing bricks at me, calling me hypocritical!
3.我就奇怪了，为什么总有人说我帅呢，烦死啦！
3. I just don’t get it, why do people always say I’m handsome? It’s so annoying!
4.每当照镜子，我都会说一句：我靠，又他妈帅了。
4. Every time I look in the mirror, I say to myself: Damn, I’m handsome again.
5.如果帅能当饭吃，本帅能养活三十亿人。
5. If handsomeness could be eaten, I could feed three billion people.
6.哥一直在被追赶，但从未被超越！
6. I’ve always been chased, but never surpassed!
7.今天在商场遇到一帅哥，帅的不要不要的，就连我一男的都忍不住盯着他看，他也看着我，我寻思交个朋友，厚着脸皮走了过去，哎哟，我去！居然是面镜子。
7. Today, I saw a handsome guy in the mall, so handsome that even I, a guy, couldn’t help staring at him. He looked back at me, and I thought I’d make a friend. I mustered up the courage to walk over, and oh my! It was just a mirror.
8.如果有来生，我希望我别再那么帅了，普通点好。
8. If there’s an afterlife, I hope I’m not that handsome anymore, just be ordinary.
9.没有我的帅气，人类靠什么活下去啊！
9. Without my handsomeness, what would humanity rely on to survive?
10.虽然我很帅， 但是我很低调！
10. Although I’m handsome, I keep a low profile!
11.世界上最遥远的距离不是生与死，而是你看着本帅哥的照片却不知道本帅哥在哪。
11. The longest distance in the world is not between life and death, but when you look at a photo of this handsome guy and don’t know where he is.
12.不行，我要努力学习，不想被别人说我靠帅气生存。
12. I must study hard, I don’t want people to say I’m living off my handsomeness.
13.帅是天意，酷是人为。
13. Being handsome is a gift, being cool is by choice.
14.除了长得帅以外就没什么缺点了，为什么！！快告诉我为什么！！我怎么可以那么优秀！
14. Apart from being handsome, I have no other flaws. Why?! Tell me why?! How can I be that excellent?
15.你说我长相是假，还说我给你的钱也是假，我告诉你我可以容忍你说的钱是假，就是容忍不了你说我的长相有问题。
15. You say my looks are fake, and that the money I gave you is also fake. I can tolerate you saying the money is fake, but I can’t stand you questioning my appearance.
16.有一天我对着天大吼：我不帅！！老天听了，一个雷批下来，谁叫你撒谎的？
16. One day, I shouted at the sky: I’m not handsome!! God heard me, and a lightning bolt struck down. Who told you to lie?
17.长得帅不是我的错，你喜欢我就是你自己的问题了。
17. Being handsome is not my fault, but if you like me, that’s your own problem.
18.今天天气不错是个出去释放帅气的好日子。
18. The weather is nice today, it’s a great day to go out and unleash my handsomeness.
19.上次一女孩问我，你长这么大追过几个靓女？我告诉她一个也没有，旁边我一个朋友把实话说给那女孩，一般都是靓女追他，女孩当时就昏过去了
19. A girl once asked me how many beautiful women I’ve chased in my life. I told her none, and a friend of mine told the truth to the girl - usually, it’s the beautiful women who chase him. The girl fainted on the spot.
21.人见人爱，花见花开，车见车爆胎。
21. Beloved by all, admired by flowers, and cars burst tires upon seeing me.
22.号称一朵梨花压海棠，人送绰号上天下地无所不能玉面小飞龙，英俊与智慧的化身，侠义与仁义的糅合，前辈高人巨侠是也。
22. Known as a pear blossom that outshines the begonia, people call me the unparalleled, talented, and handsome Little Jade Dragon, a perfect combination of chivalry, righteousness, and wisdom. I am a senior master and hero.
23.本人外形俊朗、眉清目秀、玉树临风、有明星作风，首批通过国际级ISO帅哥体系认证，小提示；该签名美女值得留意。
23. I have a handsome appearance, clear eyebrows, bright eyes, and a star-like demeanor. I am one of the first to pass the international ISO handsome man certification. Small reminder: this signature beauty is worth paying attention to.
24.我长得天下无双，英俊洒脱。
24. My appearance is unparalleled and handsome.
25.李玟追我追了三条街，谢停疯昨天看见我后，立即宣布要在九月份退出演艺圈。！不为别的，就是因为我长得实在是太帅了……
25. Lee Wen chased me for three streets, and Xie Tingfeng announced yesterday that he would quit the entertainment industry in September after seeing me. Not for anything else, but because I am just too handsome…
26.哎！为什么比我帅的人到现在我还没见到呢？
26. Sigh! Why haven’t I seen anyone more handsome than me yet?
27.我跑到珠穆朗玛峰，对着天空大声地说：“我不帅！”突然，天空雷声响起：一道闪电击中了我！！上帝愤怒地说：“再敢说谎我劈死你！！！”
27. I ran to Mount Everest and shouted to the sky, “I’m not handsome!” Suddenly, thunder roared, and a lightning bolt struck me! God angrily said, “If you dare to lie again, I’ll strike you dead!”
28.号称一朵梨花压海棠，人送绰号上天下地无所不能玉面小飞龙，英俊与智慧的化身，侠义与仁义的糅合，前辈高人巨侠是也。
28. Known as a pear blossom that outshines the begonia, people call me the unparalleled, talented, and handsome Little Jade Dragon, a perfect combination of chivalry, righteousness, and wisdom. I am a senior master and hero.
29.像我这么帅的人，一旷课就马上被老师发现。
29. When a handsome person like me skips class, the teacher notices immediately.
30.你们不要老吵着要礼物要礼物的，遇见我就是上帝给你最好的礼物。
30. Don’t always clamor for gifts; meeting me is the best gift God has given you.
31.我要好好努力，要不然别人会说我除了长得好看之外一无是处。
31. I must work hard, or others will say I’m good for nothing but my looks.
32.我越来越羡慕我的同桌，因为她有一个英俊且潇洒，声音低沉且性感，风流倜傥，无私散播欢笑和爱的同桌，不像我的同桌，蠢的像一只瓜田里的猹。
32. I’m increasingly envious of my deskmate because she has a handsome, dashing, deep-voiced, sexy, and charming deskmate who selflessly spreads joy and love. Unlike my deskmate, who is as stupid as a melon field hare.
33.靠近我之前你可想清楚了，我除了一身的帅气之外可什么都没有。
33. Before approaching me, make sure you’ve thought it through, because I have nothing but handsomeness.
34.有时候被自己帅哭有时候被自己萌晕我活的好累。
34. Sometimes I’m moved to tears by my own handsomeness, and sometimes I’m charmed by my own cuteness. Life is so tiring.
35.凭什么我没有一个帅得惊世骇俗的同桌，而我同桌却有。
35. Why don’t I have a deskmate who is shockingly handsome, while my deskmate has one?
36.每次我一个人走夜路都好害怕，天这么黑，我这么帅，真怕别人看不见啊。
36. Every time I walk alone at night, I’m scared. The sky is so dark, and I’m so handsome that I’m afraid others won’t see me.
37.刚坐公车上，一小萝莉在我的背后拿根魔杖玩，她拿着魔杖指着我的后背，我要把你变成世界上最帅的男人。我听完笑了，转身过去就听到一声惊叫，妈妈，妈妈，我会魔法了！
37. Just now on the bus, a little girl played with a magic wand behind me. She pointed the wand at my back and said, “I want to turn you into the world’s most handsome man.” I laughed after hearing this, turned around, and then heard a scream, “Mommy, mommy, I can do magic now!”
38.有人问我真的不想谈场恋爱吗，其实我不是不想，是不敢，记得我初中那一年，喜欢上了一女生只告诉了我最好的朋友，谁知道第二天整个学校都知道了，然后我们学校陆续有三百多个女生爬上楼顶闹自杀，从那之后我就知道，我注定要单身一辈子了。
38. Someone asked if I really don’t want to have a romantic relationship. In fact, I don’t dare, because when I was in junior high, I liked a girl and only told my best friend. The next day, the whole school knew, and more than 300 girls in our school climbed to the rooftop to threaten suicide. Since then, I knew I was destined to be single for life.
39.外面超多情侣，我害怕，我一出现，他们就后悔自己已经有女朋友了。
39. There are so many couples outside, and I’m scared. As soon as I appear, they’ll regret having girlfriends.
40.干干净净没有故事，一个帅字贯穿一生。
40. Clean and without stories, the word “handsome” runs through my entire life.
41.你说陈奕迅唱歌不好，你可以上网查查他飚高音多少秒，你说BIGBANG靠脸火的，你可以看看一首loser打破多少记录，你说贾斯汀比伯吸毒嫖娼，你去看看地震时他捐多少钱，你说黄家驹去世了不火了，你走上大街却仍可以听到唱响几十年的光辉岁月，你说我帅的一塌糊涂，抱歉，我实在找不到理由反驳你。
41. If you say Eason Chan can’t sing well, you can search online for how many seconds he can hit high notes. If you say BIGBANG is famous for their looks, you can check how many records “Loser” has broken. If you say Justin Bieber takes drugs and solicits prostitutes, you can see how much he donated during the earthquake. If you say Wong Ka Kui is not popular after his death, you can still hear the decades-long popular “Glorious Years” on the streets. If you say I’m incredibly handsome, I’m sorry, I can’t find a reason to argue with you.
42.我曾经参加过一次世界性的撒谎比赛，并得了第一名，因为我说了一句“我不帅”。
42. I once participated in a global lying competition and won first place because I said, “I’m not handsome.”
43.有人亲薛之谦，大家愤怒了。有人亲权志龙，大家生气了。有人亲杨洋，大家恼火。有人亲我，估计第三次世界大战要开始了
43. When someone kisses Xue Zhiqian, everyone gets angry. When someone kisses Kwon Ji-yong, everyone gets upset. When someone kisses Yang Yang, everyone gets annoyed. When someone kisses me, I guess World War III is about to begin.
44.有人说我长得帅，我笑了，结果他们说我笑起来更帅。
44. Someone said I was handsome, and I laughed. As a result, they said I looked even more handsome when I smiled.
45.经常被自己帅到双眼迷离，又不能亲自己。
45. Often being so handsome that I’m dazed by my own appearance, but I can’t kiss myself.
46.答应我不要把我超帅这件事告诉别人。
46. Promise me not to tell anyone about me being super handsome.
47.你们怎么说我帅都行，我不介意，但是别扯上我朋友，不关他们的事，他们只是一群无辜的傻狍子。
47. You can say I’m handsome, I don’t mind, but don’t involve my friends, it’s nothing to do with them, they’re just a group of innocent fools.
48.不要因为长得丑就自卑，比如我，长得帅也没骄傲阿。
48. Don’t feel inferior because you’re ugly, like me, being handsome doesn’t make me arrogant.
49.我蛮佩服居里夫人的，她没有被自己的美丽所干扰，而是沉浸在科学事业中，像我肯定不行的，经常被自己帅晕。
49. I really admire Madame Curie, she wasn’t distracted by her beauty and immersed herself in her scientific career. I definitely couldn’t do that, often being dazed by my own handsomeness.
50.我知道我很帅但是真的有点帅过头了。
50. I know I’m handsome, but it’s really a bit too much.
51.有人说我帅，我怒了，我又聪明又勇敢又机智又善良又体贴又温柔又可爱又大方有气质。你他妈只讲我帅？
51. Someone said I was handsome, and I got angry. I’m smart, brave, witty, kind, considerate, gentle, lovely, generous, and have temperament. Why did you only mention my handsomeness, you a**hole?
52.当帅哥很痛苦的，你们这些奇形怪状是不会懂的。
52. Being a handsome guy is painful, you weirdos wouldn’t understand.
53.百度一下：有木有比我更帅的人？结果显示：对不起，无法找到。
53. Search on Baidu: Are there any people more handsome than me? The result shows: Sorry, unable to find.
54.帅到被通辑。
54. Handsome enough to be wanted.
55.见到我以后你会突然发现——啊，原来帅也可以这样具体！
55. After seeing me, you’ll suddenly realize - ah, it turns out that handsome can be so specific!
56.等我不帅了就删了这条说说。
56. When I’m no longer handsome, I’ll delete this post.
57.觉得生活没意思了，活不下去了，拿起镜子，看看自己，那么帅那么美的一张脸，舍得辜负，舍得糟蹋吗。
57. Feeling life is boring and unbearable, pick up a mirror, look at your handsome and beautiful face, can you bear to disappoint and waste it?
58.我曾经参加过一次世界撒谎比赛，并得了第一名，因为我说了一句：我不帅！
58. I once participated in a global lying competition and won first place because I said: I’m not handsome!
59.每次走在街上总感觉我背后的人在说我帅。
59. Every time I walk on the street, I always feel like people behind me are saying I’m handsome.
60.成绩排名这东西，你丑你先排，我帅我随意。
60. The ranking of grades, you ugly ones go first, I’m handsome and I can
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